Expanding our consciousness to strive for truth

There have been stories of people who were adopted who did not know that they were adopted.  They find out as adults and wonder about who their birth parents are.  Usually, there is a sad story about why the parents gave up their child.  Also, there could be horrific stories of neglect, abuse, and more, where the state took the child into protective custody and foster parents adopt.

We envision that the family taking the child in is a loving nurturing family, and that the child’s life will be stable and an improvement over the home of the birth parents.

What if that is not the case?

What if a child is taken into a home and their entire identity is changed?

This happened to Jewish children during world war 2.  Parents left their children in the hands of nunneries in the hopes that their children would survive.  After the war, someone went to all the locations and sang out shema.  The children that cried were understood to be Jewish children who had been saved.  But they were never told they were Jews.  They were being raised as Catholics.

And what if a terrible story happened, where a child is stolen from a loving home and brought into a situation of child slave labor or worse?  The damage done to that child and the loss of its loving home would be a permanent and irrevocable one.

A soul is directly connected to the most Loving Being, Hashem.  Hashem decides that the soul should be sent forth into a body, under the domain of nature.  In a body, the soul contends with elements and urges that are foreign and opposite to its compassionate pure holy state. Yet without a body it would not be alive.  And thus, the soul serves the body and performs according to the will that a person has, even if the body is the driving force.

When we learn Torah, we learn how to set boundaries so that the body does not pursue worldly pleasures for their own sake. Torah teaches us how to bring Hashem and Torah into every moment.  When the soul learns Torah or performs mitzvahs, it is aware of the pleasure of these acts even though the body may not be in touch with the pleasure.

If the soul could truly dominate  the body, and the body would submit to the soul’s agenda to reveal Hashem’s compassion, the soul’s connection to Hashem would redeem it from the urges and interpretations of a physical body in a material world.

Would we want that?  It is important to ask if we would want the soul to rule our hearts in order that we break free of the material and physical worldly pulls upon us.

Let’s say we answer yes, we are idealistic and would want it.  There is a Torah pathway to help us get there.

But let’s say we answer no, that we don’t really believe we can, when pushed, rely on anything except natural powers.  In such a situation, a person is not understanding that we live in a spiritual world that has material properties but that is still a spiritual world.  The effort we make to comprehend the world in a way that is consistent with it being a spiritual world forges a bond with Hashem that gives us a role o being a conduit for His Love and Mercy.

I remember a time, not that long ago, when being a kind person meant that people would respect you and seek out your friendship.  Then came along the idea that it is not what you know but who you know.  And now it seems that friendships are more like business partnerships – who has the power to help me reach my goals?  We went from emulating Hashem’s kindness and His involvement in our lives to using power and influence regardless of ethical values that might have to be overlooked or set aside.  After all – nice guys finish last, right?  And everyone is doing it, right?  And don’t tell me what to do!

And where have we arrived? 

Does anyone wish to find out who our true Father is?  Are we interested in the relationship He desires from us, of serving Him and bringing His Compassion into the world? 

Do we see that it is a false belief to think that there is anyone or anything other than Hashem Who is providing anything at all for our benefit?

Do we see that our survival is not up to us but relies only on Hashem Who gives us life and breath every moment?

If we consider that our survival depends only on Hashem and that we cannot take anything for ourselves that He does not deem good for us, would we be willing to spend some time considering how we go astray from revealing Hashem’s compassion in the moment?  That consideration may shake us up, because it challenges our body’s interpretation of who is in control.

Nevertheless, we are not in control.  We are creations and there is a Creator. When we struggle with the natural alternatives, we have the opportunity to make an eternal beautiful identity out of the mishaps and frustrations and pains and sufferings that often arise in life.

The one phrase to remember is “This is my opportunity to be like Hashem and ask Him to restore olam haba consciousness to the flow of emotions within me. This is my opportunity to arrange my feelings and then ask for compassion to flow through me to the situation, to the people, and into the world.”

What does it take?  It takes a willingness to challenge who we are fundamentally.  We are souls that have a body temporarily.  Nevertheless, most of us grip the thinking of the natural urges as our true selves, believing letting go of that would be harmful to us, depriving us of life’s pleasures.  These are untruths with which the yetzer hara keeps us eating out of its hands.  Are we up to the task of waking up to how deeply kidnapped our souls are?

We have a loving Father Who wishes to bestow the most pleasurable and generous gifts to us.  But we have to want it.  We are in exile from Him and we have to wake up to the realization that we are the ones to make the effort to get out of the galus.  The effort we have to make is to tell Hashem that we just want Him.  That He is our will. And to please help.

It is not ust with our mouths that we utter the words that we just want Him.  It must echo in our hearts’ emotions and in every fiber of our body, that we are not wanting the outcomes of the material and physical world alone.  What we want is to be a conduit for His Compassion.  It is okay to know that ifwe sincerely choose this, Hashem, the King, our Father, Who knows what is good for us, will give us what we need and want because we serve Him.  Our motive is pure, to serve Hashem because we choose to feel and reveal Him, forming an eternal identity from a temporal one. Understanding the design that Hashem provides does not contradict.

If this is motivating, we need tools to help us recognize what blocks us and what conceals Hashem from us. 

Once we accept that this could be the case, we have opened our mind to an expanded awareness of what a person can be.

All there is in the world is Hashem. He is the only being that is actually alive.  He is the only Power.  He is the only Being with any value or honor. Any honor due a man is because man is made in Hashem’s image and has a spark of Hashem called lifeforce enabling man to exist. When we respect another, we are basically respecting Hashem’s spark in that person.

Once we see that we are material intended to be a bridge where spirituality can enter the physical world in order to reveal Hashem’s compassion, are we ready to hear deep tools to help us?

Returning to Hashem – A pathway option to consider

Campaign for unity through devekus

Campaign for unity from devekus – the zuhama is confounding us. The yetzer hara is our only obstacle to overcome, not those who are also duped by it.

Class action suit against yetzer hara a.k.a soton a.k.a malach hamavos

Charge is the theft of the soul of adom harishon

Damages sought: return of all spiritual value.

Punitive damages: include  in what we receive the spiritual value of the yetzer hara itself, to be given to us purified, to restore the soul with bodily felt compassion in its pure form, in the same degree as the painful messages

To join the class action suit: submit your claim describing the false survival message along with a statement of will that you demand the spiritual value stolen be purified from the grips of darkness and returned to olam haba consciousness, in the amount of the strength of the pain experienced while kidnapped. Be specific about the pain so it can be redeemed.

We are appealing to Hashem so noticing and naming and asking for olam haba consciousness instead shows we want to return.
Submit your written claim..be specific

Our survival depends on h

Hashem. Where are we motivated to be mikatrich someone or ourself defensively? Look for the lie. Feel how much of our soul believes it. Write it down. Ask Hashem to redeem us by giving us the feeling of His Compassion so we may reveal that instead. Ask that we not grip the lie who is the daas sitra achra, that He help us let go of our belief in that wisdom and gives us the same strength belief in a compassionate response. Tell Hashem that by asking, we are doing teshuva on Adom’s sin and we ask for reconstituted olam haba consciousness in the world so Hashem can be revealed.

We want to sing with Hashem’s blessings not with the Soton’s accusations

Start by writing down the judgment.

Then notice why is it strong, what is my survival instinct telling me and write that

Now look at it and ask yourself if it is true. What is the exact thought the survival instinct is saying about the perceived  threat.

Two parts are untrue. Survival depends on Hashem, not being damaging

The thought it has you thinking is a coping mechanism or unrectified urge or sheker.

Now you have diagnosis. Yetzer hara.

And you have opportunity to be Gdlike and reconstitute olam haba

Describe to Hashem and say you don’t want.

Ask Hashem to please accept all the spiritual value and reconstitute it so you can feel His love and mercy. Tell Him you want to be a conduit for Him

Breathe ratzo vshov  knowing Hashem is right here. Shema is good too. But keep doing battle and asking and breathing until you feel an inner shift, a calmness.

Then see what compassionate response comes to mind. Thank Hashem
The main thing is to ask for a flow of compassion to heal  the place we cling to that is false and to restore us to our holy connection with him. “Let go of the reptile”

Pushing negativity off the cliff

Returning to Hashem – A pathway option to consider

We have real free will – shall we sing along with the blessings Hashem is sending, or shall we sing along with the accusations the Soton is making?

If we are not singing along with the blessings Hashem is sending, the default is that we are adding our voice to the forces of darkness.

May we understand how deeply within us this choice is being made.  It is happening as invisibly to us as the true reality that we will and the forces of nature move our body in response – we think we are in control, but we do not have autonomous independent control.  In the same way, at that same invisible level, our subconscious is seduced when we momentarily lapse from devekus in Hashem.

Here is the basic seduction.  It goes all the way back to the eating of the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  Why did Adom eat? He felt inadequate because he was a creation and it was unattainable for him to be Hashem, the Creator.  That pain was excruciating. Just look at the way liittle children all want the same exact toy at the same time. We can see what it must have felt like.  As great as Adom was, Hashem made him so he is inadequate. But Hashem desires to have a relationship with us where we feel the perfect pleasure of His Giving.  For that, we need to be able to do something to resolve that sense of inadequacy inherent in being a creation. Thus Hashem gives us real free will and the creative power of speech so that we have causative G*d-like force on a microcosmic scale within our personal inner worlds to choose to be like Hashem.  We CAN be the creative force in our inner worlds and in so doing, by wielding these microscopically applied creative forces to our own free will, we inoculate ourselves for all eternity from feeling inadequate because we are not Hashem. Why? We will have the experience of what the Creator does, and that will be enough to assuage our feelings of inadequacy.  However, because this is all in our unconscious, the feelings of inadequacy play ot in the realm of the material and physical world where the resolution IS totally unattainable. Our adequacy comes from our remembering to use the creative powers He gives us to actually be G*d-like and choose to sing along with His Compassion, overriding our pulls and urges in the direction of darkness.

It is easy for the yetzer hara to take us one more step into the dark.  We already have inherent inadequacy built in. All the yetzer hara has to do is get us to think its thoughts, from the daas sitras achra, about how to restore adequacy.  Now there are two layers of separation from remembering to make the effort to be like Hashem. How can we distinguish the messages of the daas sitras achra when it feels so real to us?  We must learn Torah and have emunah. But we also need tools to face our inner thoughts.

The process below offers a litmus test for our thoughts to help us discern more clearly the origin of the thought – intuition from our tzelem elokim in concert with Hashem’s blessings or something else?

When we see it is something else, we have our work cut out for us – to do a G*d-like effort using free will and speech to beseech Hashem to help us remove what is blocking us from feeling and revealing the true expression of the spiritual value within us.

Towards that end, it is helpful to know a story about Rabbi Chanina ben Dosa. In his town, there was a hole in the road.  A poisonous snake lived in it and people would accidentally step on the hole and get bitten and die from the poison. The townspeople ran to Rabbi Chanina.  Rabbi Chanina went to the hole, placed his heel on the opening, the snake bit him, he pulled his foot up drawing out the snake, and killed the snake. He did not die from the poison.  He said, “snakes don’t kill, aveiras do.” and the townspeople cried out, woe to the snake that meets Rabbi Chanina.

Why is this story important?

We all have an initial response to pain and discomfort, and that is called sad mad bad – if something gives me a feeling of loss, I feel angry or hurt and have a need to express the pain, usually in a hurtful way – judgmental, angry, depressively, self-destructively, etcetera. This is also called fight or flight response.  However, it is not just occasionally that we are involved with this mechanism. It is often throughout the day, depending on our thinking and our understanding of our thinking.

It behooves us to have self-knowledge so that we are able to spot whether we are singing along with Hashem’s blessings or not.  If not, it behooves us to regain our footing, to regulate our emotions, so that we may choose to sing along again with Hashem – and then take action if need be.

Many times, we are sent a test not for the outcome of how we will show compassion but rather for the opportunity to “pull the snake” out of our subconscious.  We want to uproot the falsehoods that are poisoning our lives, blocking us from being loving and from feeling lovable.

To uproot these, we need a safe process in which we may feel and express what is coming up, a process where we understand we are seeking to nullify the husks and redeem the spiritual value – the Shechina – within it.  We wish to express the compassion of the redeemed spiritual value through our speech and deeds, singing along with Hashem.

Below is a process under development.  It is constantly being improved.

The litmus test for our thoughts are:

  • Whose survival is the thought going to preserve?  My best interests or the survival of the Soton by drawing off my soul?
  •  What is the lie that I am operating automatically on?  Say it out loud. Do I feel the falsehood?
  • Appreciate the opportunity to make an effort that is causative, using free will and speech.  This is an opportunity to act like Hashem, to be on a small scale, like Hashem. We can make a causative effort toward a change in our nature by sincerely asking with understanding, wisdom, emunah, and trust in Hashem..

Please check back often.  Send feedback if you are using the steps from the article below and how it may be helping.

Reflections on Shabbos Teshuva and revised hisbodidus in the moment

Shabbos Teshuva Drasha Rabbi Moshe Weinberger; and Yom Kippur Formula -Be a Man (and face it) so Hashem can be a G-d (and have mercy) Rabbi Efraim Stauber

Rabbi Moshe Weinberger Teshuva Drasha

Keep a box of tissues handy

Rabbi Moshe Weinberger Teshuva Drasha audio

Yom Kippur Formula: Be a Man (and face it) so Hashem can be a G-d (and have mercy)

Rabbi Efraim Stauber Yom Kippur formula audio only

Our attitude on Yom Kippur – don’t hide from Hashem. We cannot hide from Hashem.  We broke the world  We are embarrassed and know there is no solution other than Hashem’s mercy.  Confess.  Declare love for Hashem. Ask for mercy. Surrender.

Reflections on Shabbos Teshuva and revised hisbodidus in the moment

Adom was created to reconstitute Olam Haba so that mankind would be able to receive the greatest pleasure for eternity by earning it

Rabbi  Mendel Kessin teaches that Hashem made olam haba, then lowered Adom into olam haze with the mandate that Adom should reconstruct Olam haba consciousness.  Olam Haba consciousness means living with the revealed understanding that Hashem is the Creator and that Adom is created. By rebuilding it, Adom will no longer have the feeling of being inadequate as a creation. Why?  In order to rebuild the consciousness, Adom must use two divinely given gifts, free will and speech, which are creative and causative. Because free will and speech are creative and causative, which are G’dlike efforts, Adom will have olam haba consciousness along with the experience of being in a small microcosmic way of being creative like Hashem, enough to mitigate the feeling of inadequacy in never being able to be Hashem.

Think for a moment of what upsets us.  When it is boiled down, can we see that it is a frustration of our will and that we believe our will is the “right thing?” We want control.  We wish we were in control. But we are not. Hashem is in control.

We are given Divine creative force to use in order that we may choose to be like Hashem. Life is our opportunity to inoculate ourselves from feeling inadequate that we are not Hashem by giving us an experience of what Hashem does, albeit what we do is a microdot of a microdot.  The choosing is the inoculation.

When we understand the design, we then have the intelligence to understand the opportunity of life. The opportunity is to remember that Hashem is One and to move ourselves there, forming for ourselves an eternal identity as having chosen to use causative effort to be like Hashem when we are in a challenging situation.

In that moment when we are feeling frustrated, disconnected from what we want, we have the opportunity to do something with free will and speech that is G*d-like.  That something that we can do is teshuva on having wished we were Hashem, which will correct our unique flaws and in so doing, make our unique contribution to correcting the eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Hisbodidus to help us

exercise our “naked will” to sing along with Hashem’s blessings that He is sending to the world and

  • to keep our will from singing along with the accusations and damages of the evil inclination that seeks to leech off our holy souls.
  • Whose survival is its messages geared to help?The evil inclination appears the instant we let go of Hashem,  seducing us with material and physical pleasure and survival messages into thinking the thoughts of the daas sitras achra, which tempts us and lures us to go down a rabbit hole to our spiritual demise.  It is involved with ITS survival, not ours.
  • What is the falsehood, the lie, that we are believing in our confusion of mind?

I am a creation and there is a Creator – I do not have independent power

Hashem I realize I am not in control, that I am a creation and You are Hashem, the Creator of all, the soul of the universe. The place of the universe is Hashem

Acknowledgement that whatever has happened is designed by Hashem and that He is Lovingkind and all Good even if it does not feel like it

Thank you for reminding me that I am a creation. I notice that I have fallen into thinking the thoughts associated with my will instead of Yours, dragging the pure soul You have given to me into the dark. I fell and now I wish to return.

Acknowledgment of awareness that when we lose devekus for even one moment, we are immediately in the grips of the thinking of the evil inclination which tempts us to think its thoughts so that it may take nourishment from our souls

I recognize that the will that brought me to this moment is tainted with temptations from the yetzer hara, who seduced me with promises of achieving with the natural powers endowed with it something that looks materially as pleasurable. I see the futility, knowing I cannot take anything without Your permission. I do not wish to cause damage in the world with the naked will that You have given me through consciousness and life.

Causative effort to use free will and speech, G*d-like endowments given to mankind, to emulate and cling to Hashem the King. Yearning to bring Hashem’s compassion into our heart – “make aliya” – conquer the “land” that is our physicality.

I love You and I understand the design.  I will that You, Hashem, be King over all the confusion within me. I want my life to reveal Hashem’s compassion through my speech and deeds. I want to be a conduit for compassion. I trust in You regarding all outcomes. Please answer me with yes, so that my will to dissolve the blocks and absorb all divine creative energy with spiritual value brings Your compassion to the darkness within me, and by my  feeling Your Compassion, to thereafter express something that reveals Your pure compassion.

Request to please restore and heal spiritual value that is trapped in the unrectified characteristics and natural urges.(by dropping the husks, the spiritual value reveals the compassion from You.)

The name for my fallen thinking is defensiveness, purportedly for my survival.  The impact of thinking along these lines is causing me pain and discomfort and the paths all seem problematic. I confess that I have used the intelligence You have given me to build upon something false, which has resulted in my imagination being on fire and blocks me from feeling close to You. There is falsehood in my coping mechanisms, in my unrectified urges, and in my bad habits.

I cry out these urges and falsehoods from this point of desperation, confessing them and asking that the love and awe in my heart for You please affect this darkness so that Your Compassion is felt here, so that my emotions are regulated thereby allowing me to think clearly how to bring Your Compassion into the world.

  • Please help me to be able to observe my thoughts and what is false and to straighten myself and reconnect to Your Name with calmness and clarity before I do anything else, whatever action might be needed.
  • With emunah, I observe rather than think the thoughts.  I see and regret that I believe something false. I realize that my survival depends on You alone.  I am not interested in having my soul poured into anything that will distance me from my Creator or cause the forces of darkness to proliferate. The false message that attracts me to its line of thinking is….and I see that is a pattern in my life.  There is something within me that is a coping mechanism, an unrectified forbidden urge or bad habit. I wish to stop the false message and bring forward all spiritual content – knowing the inner vitality of everything is Your Compassionate breath even when it is hidden in an utterance that is so disconnecting –  from animating anything false. But I have urges instead to act out the falsehoods and I do not want to. It is painful. It is untrue. I am afraid or angry. I do not wish to do damage. I feel lost in the dark. I know I do not want this, but I don’t have the control to just stop this thinking because it is nature. I am a creation.  You are the Creator. I turn to You in desperation and with love and awe.

2  I am doing the mitzvahs of love for Hashem and having awe in Hashem, using my intellect to connect to Your compassion. My effort is intended to acknowledge the truth of olam haba consciousness, even though I am not feeling Your love and mercy yet at the level of my heart because of being connected to a falsehood that is habitually ingrained.

  • I want to associate love for Hashem and awe of Hashem with what is in my heart and safely confess in order that the inner compassion trapped in the falsehoods will release into the love and awe that I feel for Hashem.
  • I see that the triggering event is an outcome of failure to reveal compassion at this very same behira point. Thus I see I have a platform to appeal for all of this content to reveal Your compassion. I have the opportunity to make a causative effort and be GDlike in this moment, to involve my essence with blessings  Hashem is sending.

May my effort be a merit for Klal Yisrael in dissolving what blocks us. (Idea of asking Hashem to remove mechitzahs)

My will is to feel Your love and mercy so that I may reveal Your love and mercy.

  • I ask that the raw spiritual material that is swirling within me be restored to purity, to be available to reveal Your compassion.  This is my will.
  • I regret my past mistakes and all the aveiras in thinking, speaking and doing that resulted from past failures.
  • I wish to acknowledge these errors and declare my will is to reveal Your compassion. (cry out details)
  1.  Please forgive me and uproot whatever blocks me from feeling and revealing Your compassion.

Please answer me with the truth of Your Salvation – feeling Your love and mercy –  so that I have more heartfelt free willed choice to reveal compassion when these matters come up.

Thank you for this opportunity to use causative free will and prayer as You intend, so that I may ask to feel consciousness of Hashem more deeply within my heart.

Hashem forgives us when we forgive and overlook – Rabbi Moshe Weinberger

Ask from the depth of your heart for forgiveness when you feel rachmanos on your own soul, the elokus Hashem invests in us [for having gotten dragged into the dark, for keeping it in exile].  And that awakens the empathy of the 13 middos harachamim of Hashem.

From Rosh Hashana siddur Foundations of Repentance, a prayer and a process for building emunah