Take Heart – The generation that thinks it can’t take mussar is only missing an insight that heals and shines light – strengthen ourselves in emunah!!

There is so much inner angst that we read about – the predominance of what we do to help our friends seems to be to do whatever we can to help them get through the day without feeling down, disempowered, frightened, angry, hurt, insulted, empty, unloved, alone, victimized and more. 

The neurology of such feelings comes from our limbic system.  The basic formula for such negativity and anxiety is that we feel something is missing, we get upset, and then we act upon our judgments trying to set it straight.  We mean well.  And this is our natural wiring.  Sad, mad, acting it out and doing something we will regret.

One way of dealing with our limbic system is to justify that damaging action, ascribing it to the category of survival that is necessary so that we can feel good about ourselves, so that the world does not trample us.

With that way of dealing with our feelings, we forge a path that we rely on.

And we have a group of friends who agree with this as necessary.

And what happens?  We come to trust in our manner of dealing with this type of reaction.  We come to trust in our own judgment, especially because very often, our goal is reached.  We may even have the feeling of being powerful and masterful in our lives.

We have a silent Partner though, Whose judgment is truth and is for our good.

If anyone tries to tell us we took a wrong turn though, we cry out – don’t tell me Hashem is going to get me!  I can’t hear that!  I hurt too much inside.  I know Hashem loves me.

And what can be said after that?  Not much.

Nevertheless, I have very good news for anyone who has been on either side of such a scenario.

We have found the place of what it means to be human, a nefesh elokis enlivening an earthly mortal body.  We have profoundly defined the very experience that Hashem has sent us to this world to feel in order that we remember and recognize our Creator!

THAT is who we are – a mixture of soul and body that experiences our humanity in order that we may recognize Elokim, the One Who is doing everything.

Hashem did not send a soul into a body to experience such painful humanity with no remedy!!!

And that is the point of the rest of this article.

IF we strengthen ourselves in emunah, meaning we realize that He is doing everything yet He gives us an amazing” power of real free will to exercise, we turn our eyes upwards, recognizing Elokim, describing the place we are in, and we tell Hashem, with compassion on the light that is trapped in the painful humanity, that we do not wish for the life force He is lovingly sending us to be trapped in our natural fear, anger pain, anxiety, insult, urge, impulse, bad habit and the like.  We confess that we DO naturally have this and we are describing it to Him out of our love for Him because we want to not want this naturally.

We want to not want this naturally means that we want our limbic system to be able to shine the nefesh elokis and not these associated messages that cover our most primal reactivity.

We are not in charge of nature.  Thus we turn to the Creator, the One who recreates the world every second, and we plead with Him, we confess, we recognize and we love Him.  As soon as we do this, we are “out” of the limbic thinking – despair and arrogance – that plague us.  “I feel hurt, how could he do this to me?  That hurts so much, why is this missing in my life?  I have to stand up for myself,” and similar spiraling despair/self-conscious messages.  Where are we when we turn our eyes upwards to Hashem and tell Him that we want to not want such messages?  We are aligned with His Compassion, we are emulating Him by having compassion on the light that is animating the messages and generating the pain.

By confessing and turning our eyes to Elokim, by recognizing Him as doing everything and knowing that He loves us, we bring our compassion to a place where our awareness of Hashem and Torah are nurtured by that compassion.  We become G-d-conscious instead of self-conscious.  And what happens next?  A flow comes into our hearts with insights and an ability to have a new perspective on the matter, on ourselves, on life, and most of all, have gratitude to Hashem for our lives.  Why gratitude?  We now have the “right” to bring that compassion into our speech and deeds in oneness with Hashem doing everything, to learn Torah, to do a mitzvah, to perform a chesed.  Once we recognize Elokim and want to not want our human reaction because we want that compassion to be used to reveal Hashem, He activates our nefesh elokis which He designs and we become a channel to bring that light into the world, a light that has the healing the situation actually needs – compassion.

This is tiferes.  This is Yaakov.  This is truth.

Thus, when we feel as though the last thing in the world we want is mussar and we shut down anyone telling us we took a wrong turn, lovingly trying to guide us back, we have an opportunity to use real free will and bring our compassion from its inferior position below our wisdom back to its Source.  By strengthening ourselves in emunah, realizing that Hashem is doing everything and that He gives us real free will and the power of speech to take an action of running back to Him,  our nefesh elokis becomes the channel across which that compassion comes into this world, bringing with it Infinite light designed to effect the repair.

Okay here we go. Anxiety attack!  Oh no!  I blew it.  Now they will be so mad.  They are so sensitive, why did I have to say that?  Fear of rejection. 

Choice – try to backpedal or turn to Hashem.

Backpedaling is going to make things worse.

Turning to Hashem – Hashem, I blew it!  I spoke too fast.  I didn’t realize……  and now…….I was reactive.  I want to not want to be that way, please send me a thought or a pasuk or something so that when I experience these emotions I have something to help me be a channel for light instead.

Pause and experience – the place from our home of origin where this developed, what is false, where are we forgetting to judge favorably,  where do we do the same thing they did, how do we understand it…how else can we understand it?  Do we really have to say something?  Can we find a way to communicate a healing message that does not include blame or shame but rather shows love that will calm down the limbic system of the other person? 

The more we see how Hashem sends us circumstances to go into our limbic system and shake off the false messages, the more our limbic system is available to receive loving insights that we may garment into speech and deeds that shine light.

The more we see how Hashem sends us a consequence when we judge unfavorably or take matters into our own hands, the more we will realize His justice is the most loving thing that could happen, better than any manmade justice, helping us pay our debt.  No one likes din, but we must realize that our world is balanced between mercy and judgment and that WE with our real free will DO have a responsibility to use real free will compassionately in a way that enhances our G-dConscious wisdom.

No one likes to feel afraid of Hashem.  Hashem gives us the Torah so that we comprehend the world we are in as well as the mission we are here to perform.  It is compassionate of Hashem to tell us how we are made!  Are we interested in really helping ourselves survive well? Do we understand that being connected to the One Who is doing everything is immutable self-esteem?

The journey is from feeling ourselves and acting according to the natural wisdom, anochi to growing awareness and love and awe of Hashem and acting according to Torah, avoda and gemilas chesed in concert with His Will, atzmi. 

When we are humbly using real free will to pray and do mitzvahs, Hashem is able to use our lives as a channel that brings revealed light into this world.

Let us comprehend that strengthening ourselves in emunah in order to do so IS work but the mind we are saving is OURs – saving ourselves from being vulnerable to the self-consciousness projected through us by our natural limbic system. We are sent here with the capacity to effect a repair, that Hashem does, when we WILL it.  And we are accountable out of Hashem’s love for us.

THIS is the inner battle each one of us can be involved with when we utilize run and return to regulate our emotions.  SAD?  – Hashem here is what is going on!!  I feel MAD…..!  I want all of this light that is concealed in this pain to come into this world in a healing way that reveals YOU!  Goodbye bad. Hello blessings.

What happens if we are unconscious to run and return?  Hashem sends us din to awaken us.  What if we turn it away as too harsh?  He sends more suffering.  And the suffering cleanses us. 

It is a foolproof system.  Teshuva run and return or suffering.  We get to choose. 

Elul begins August 31. During the summer months, with all the light and warmth, we have compassion shining upon us. Let us use this time to nurture awareness of Hashem and His love for us, to grow in love and awe of Hashem. May our efforts to do so bring us a higher intellect for our drive to implement for next year.

Yet as we know, in Elul, we do teshuva, we “pay our spiritual debts” so to speak so that we stand pure on Rosh Hashana.

Rabbi Asher Freund had a man come to him and Rav Asher saw that the man had a gezeira on him. He told the man to sell his livelihood, which the man did, not questioning Rav Asher. Yet it was financial suffering. The man and his family were saved from a gas leak and his daughter was saved from being run over by a car.

We are all imperfect. There is NO SHAME in it. Just look at a lovable baby!! That is why we have Yom Kippur. Hashem knows how He has created us. It is WE who do not comprehend how and why He has created us so. WE misinterpret our humanity thinking our externalities are who we are essentially. In atzmi we are one with Him. Thus, our work is cut out for us, for we are obviously overpowered by the natural realities of life – yet we are given real free will, emunah and the power of speech and with these, His Light flows into the world by HIS DOING after we properly use will, teshuva, and love.

Let us take up this wonderful inner work of run and return. Let us be that channel across which the light caught up in pain may come into the world as blessing. May doing so pay up our debts to Hashem Who is doing everything and Who lovingly and compassionately gives us the Torah that tells us all of this. May we awaken from what holds us back and realize how great life is, to be one with Hashem and a channel for His will.

Here is an email from Torah Avigdor –  from Rabbi Avigdor Miller

Rav Avigdor Miller on Suspecting Hashem of Wrongdoing 


I just found out that a former classmate of mine just passed away. He was only 21 years old. What should my thoughts be when I begin to question why Hashem would do such a thing?


And the answer is that you must know that צדיק השם בכל דרכיו. Hashem is right in whatever He does. In this case, I couldn’t tell you anything without knowing him. But I could tell you many stories where I did understand something. A little something, I was able to understand. 

Here’s a man – a beautiful man. A strong, tall man and a good learner. A tchachkah he was. Something special – a real tachshit. And then he became ill – a cripple. And he died young too. Nobody know why. 

I also don’t know why. But I have one hava-mina. I have a svarah for why he died young. I have a good svarah. Because I dealt with him once. He had a bride. He had a new kallah. And right after the chuppa he said he doesn’t want her anymore. I visited him. I said, “How can it be? You’re ruining the girl! You chose her. You chose this girl. And her parents spent a small fortune on the chasuna. And right after the chuppa you don’t want her anymore?!” “No,” he says. He doesn’t like her, he tells me.

Well, I didn’t win. And there was a divorce. It was a tragedy. And I think that it was a very big crime that he committed. Nobody knows why, but I think that’s the reason. He ruined her. Now, I wouldn’t go and publicize it, but I believe that’s the reason.

If I would know the cases, who knows what I could discover! I know a case of a young man who was in YU. It was a Yeshiva from the olden days; it was the only Yeshiva in those days. And this man died young. Nobody knows why he died young. But I think I know. Because I know the story. I knew him well.

He was once talking to a divorced woman. To a young divorcee. And he became too familiar with her. And I know that he had business with that young divorced woman. And she didn’t have a get. She didn’t have a Jewish divorce. She was still an eishes ish and this man had dealings with her. And nobody else knows about it, but I do know. And he died young. He was a son of a very fine family. 

So if I knew, maybe I could tell you. Maybe. And sometimes, it’s a tzadik who dies young. That also could be. Hakodosh Boruch Hu knows why He did it. He has plenty of good reasons. Whatever it is, don’t suspect Hakodosh Boruch Hu of doing anything that’s not proper. צדיק השם בכל דרכיו וחסיד בכל מעשיו. And when you come to the Next World, then you’ll discover all the secrets.

TAPE # E-169       

Take Heart – Build a Truer Home in This World

The basis of what I am going to say is Rabbi Asher Freund on what he told his community on the new year Rosh Hashana, as the purpose for Rosh Hashana and our lives.

He told them that when we die, the soul wants to go to the infinite light. What greets us are dark creatures that tell us “you created us, you have to come with us” and they feel familiar and comfortable and we cannot resist going with them, even though we want to go to the light. Rabbi Asher Freund taught his congregation how to be able to go to the light. What we are asking for on Rosh Hashana when we ask for another year of life is so that we have more time to put into place our plan. The plan is to work on going to the light over these familiar comfortable entanglements.  On Rosh Hashana, we commit that, while we are alive, we have a plan to make an effort to empty the mis-placed compassion from the familiar and comfortable unhealthy patterns, urges and impulses. We ask for another year in order to bring to Hashem the release of kedusha from the darkness to be revealed as light. We [pray to Him to give us year so that we may continue to make every effort to break free, to redeem that compassion embedded in our familiar patterns, so that we may develop patterns that reflect G-d-Consciousness.

This is the basis for what I am going to elaborate upon.

When we are young we live in a home-  whether it’s functional or dysfunctional, whether there is love, whether there is yelling, whether there’s abuse- it is the association of what we attached to.  That is what is familiar and comfortable.People who work with foster children see that the children wish to return to their natural parents even though the foster homes may be far healthier.

This is the impression that naturally develops deep within our subconscious and unconscious mind, and to us, that familiar and comfortable recognition feels like love, even though it can be very destructive or self-destructive.

 Most of the time, we are not aware of this influence.  It is coursing through our nervous system and through our thinkingandn atu naral urges and impulses at a level below the radar.  It may even be something that is good for which we stand up for and judge correctly! It may be something we have knowledge from our education about! Nevertheless, it is causing unhappiness in some way.

The purpose of what I am going to try to show right now is that there is compassion that is part of the soul of the life force that G-d gives to every person, including a young child, that is actually trapped and animating that association and causing us to remain in an often-times painful pattern, simply because it is familiar and comfortable and feels like love.

We are not awake to how that is the cause of our difficulty.- in a relationship, at work, with food, or in our emotional state. Instead we attempt to ascribe why we are feeling the pain – it is her fault, it shouldn’t be this way,  it’s my fault, I’m no good,  he is no good, life stinks.  This is what happens naturally because of how our natural thinking, urges and impulses are constructed.  From the time we are born, this bond exists between the soul and the body because the soul is placed in a physical body that is run by the forces of nature. Every one of us is born into this because this is the design.

 We have the Torah, which tells us two basic truths. Hashem is doing everything and Hashem loves us.

How do we reconcile these two truths with the pain and the blame that we naturally experience? When are willing to see ourselves as a ray of compassion in a body, and we understand the place we have been placed and how the natural existence that has no independent power is our mortal but external reality, we have a handle upon our inner world.

 G-d  gives of His compassion to the natural forces so that we have real free will. Hashem agrees to have his infinite light concealed in this pain in order that we have the opportunity to recognize that there is no other Power. He is the ray that is our soul and He is the Elokim determining our every footstep. What are we?

 in that moment, we are having an experience of Elokim, Who is all loving and Who is doing everything..In this moment, He is giving us the free willed choice and opportunity to uplift what is familiar and comfortable from our home of origin to our eternal home and mature, truer identity in this world.

We are created to effect a repair on the four foundations, earth, wind, water and fire.  This is our chance!

 By having compassion on the compassion that is stuck in the pain,  as soon as we have compassion on the compassion, we are recognizing our Creator and once again associating with being a ray from His Love.  We see that he is doing everything and that He is all loving. We realize we are completely dependent upon God. We ask that the compassion that is trapped in the pain please instead nurture our awareness that Hashem is doing everything, that Hashem is all loving.  We ask that the Torah and middos harachamim be richer and fuller in our wisdom, so that when it comes to our next step of acting, we are implementing an action or saying something from a place that reveals His true compassion and  love.  The reality that He is doing everything comes through us into the situation because it changes  the way that we look at the people and the situation for the better.We can take an action or say something that will actually bring His compassion to the world.

What happens when we do this is that the place in our heart from our home of origin that was previously trapped in something familiar and comfortable yet problematic, that was giving us a message that felt to us like love, becomes free of those messages and now is able to shine light into the world while we are alive. Those negative painful messages that are part of the mortal externality of our existence can be exchanged! We are given real free will to develop a truer mortal externality while alive, one that will bring us more happiness because it will be the expression of Hashem’s Torah, mitzvahs, and compassion.

While alive, we are going to the light, walking with the compassion past the familiar and comfortable messages  as they flow through our subconscious and unconscious habits, patterns, urges and impulses.

And after 120 years, when we are no longer alive and our soul wants to go to the light and these dark creatures come and say “you created us, you have to come with us”, they will not feel familiar and comfortable because we won’t even recognize them.   We will be able to go to the light.

 The role of mankind is to have a relationship with God whereby we bring the compassion from where it is concealed within us and find a way to express it so that the compassion shines and not the pain.

In order to have such a relationship with God, we realize that God has willingly placed himself into the hands of nature and created the possibility for us to misunderstand familiar and comfortable patterns as who we are! These patterns, urges and impulses are NOT who we are.  They are externalities given to us to place us in contact with the four foundations earth, wind, water and fire so that we have opportunities  to redeem the pure soul that is compassion from this dark natural place in our unconscious and subconscious and raise it high, to nurture the truth that we know is true, that Hashem is doing everything, that He loves us, and that we are here to reveal that love in the world and to make an impact on the world by bringing that compassion in our own unique way to the world.

it is up to us to take what seems integrated  -mainly the feeling and strength of the feeling with the messages that are familiar and comfortable  -and realize that the strength of the feeling can be re-channeled to a higher and greater home than the home of our natural origin.

 We can bring that compassion to our true home, back to the One, the only One,  the only Being that actually is alive, that actually exists and that is doing everything.  When we try, He answers.

Take Heart – Our soul is a part of Hashem’s compassion implicitly

What can each one of us do to bring a new light into this world in actuality?

Would it surprise you to know that we have the potential to be a portal for light to shine into the world from the very place we are experiencing pain?

Hashem is doing everything and He is all loving. This is the essence of truth. Yet He gives us real free will and creates an alternative experience by concealing Himself as Elokim.

Our real free will is to trust and believe that we are an implicit part of His Compassion ready to shine into acts of kindness and mitzvahs. How do we do this when we are experiencing natural reactions?

Emunah requires both the understanding of what it means to be “nothing” along with the understanding of the active power of will and speech. When we experience emotional pain, the essence of all – compassion – is inferior to the truth – that Hashem is doing everything and that He is all loving. Obviously that truth is concealed. Yet, with our free will, we have the personal prayerful use of speech to tell Hashem that we are having compassion upon the Shechina in exile that has agreed to be bound by the painful messages we are experiencing. In having compassion upon our very soul, we tell Hashem that we desire for this compassion to nurture our awareness of Him, of Torah, of His Kindness. Such a prayer expands our wisdom, from where our drive to implement what we believe to be true is improved and is able to reveal compassion rather than pain.

Just through will, our personal prayer submits to Hashem the “material” reality of our personalities and experience.

We acknowledge that there is compassion being experienced that is inferior to the truth.

The truth is that Hashem is doing everything, that He loves us, and that we are “nothing” except a part of Him and have no independent power.

We will for that compassion to re-connect to Him.

We ask that the compassion nurture awareness of His Love and Mercy and Torah.

We implement an understanding based on expanded awareness of Hashem that removes the painful messages that previously were attaching to our soul. The sefira that flow through us are thus more recified.

Our heart is ready to direct through our speech and deeds that compassion. And these actions express our true essence and form our eternal identity.

This willing and praying is what we can do to help the actualization of a new light into the world. And then mitzvahs, learning, and kindness.

This is the purpose for which Hashem creates man, to bring His Light into the world in a way that does not nullify the appearance of the world.

Take Heart – A Personal Prayer

There is a Creator and He creates the world including me.  The Creator surrounds all worlds.  The Creator fills all worlds.

Thank you Hashem for returning my soul to me. Abundant is Your faithfulness that I will serve You in a more expanded way today.

As I awaken thoughts of awareness of You begin to ebb away as the flow of practical realities come to mind.

My thinking is becoming clouded.  It is beginning to spin between what is lacking in the day and what I need to accomplish.

I am taking an extra moment right now.

I wish to declare my confidence that I am a part of Your surrounding and filling all the worlds. May this confidence replace the fragile confidence that is concealing Your compassion from flowing. I have the real free will to dependently pray that natural messages and their natural feedback of temporary pleasure that conceal Your compassion be dissolved. 

I have the real free will to pray that the compassion released may flow into this world through the resulting acts of learning Torah and doing mitzvahs and acts of kindness, through my speech and deeds as Your servant. Please help be bring that compassion into my day and my challenges.

I ask for mercy that my thinking maintain awareness of Your constant love and that You Hashem are doing everything.

Let me confess please where Your mercy is required, for by myself, my thoughts remain bonded to what is comfortable and familiar and my will is to dissolve that and release the compassion hidden in that bond.

Part of that thinking, beneath that thinking, is an undercurrent, a tide.  That tide has a coloration of what was comfortable and familiar in my home of origin, when I was forming. This lingering imprint of what is familiar and comfortable is blocking me from feeling sensitive to the task at hand in each moment of my day of revealing Your Compassion that You invest in my soul by giving it to me each day.  The messages that distract me are (be specific) and I know that these messages are filled with a compassion that is concealed from view that You have invested for my soul to receive as a seed, that it contains the healing for every matter that I am facing.  I have confidence in this truth, for You Hashem are all loving.

I am confessing and willing to go above  the messages that are a screen blocking compassion from flowing because of my fallen faith in something erroneous or unrectified.  I humbly and lovingly recognize that I am totally dependent on Hashem for all outcomes. I am praying to Hashem that the messages that are blocking and concealing compassion within the soul that contains the remedies in potential is able to connect properly back to Its Source.  May the meeting of the Infinite compassion concealed with the compassion that fills my soul flow with clarity.

By myself I cannot dissolve the bond between my soul and the comfortable and familiar messages for they are naturally ingrained and I am not in charge of nature. But You give me real free will and it is my will to not want these messages as what I put into action, for these add layers of concealment of Your compassion..

I am begging for mercy Hashem.  Have mercy on my soul so that the potential may flow as compassion.  My will is to dissolve the connection between the attraction of the body to comfortable and familiar messages so that the soul Hashem has given to me may reveal its full potential of compassion and be re-garmented into my speech and deeds and touch reality in a way that will reveal Hashem’s compassion. 

There is Infinite light that contained within the screen of messages and thoughts that occupies my mind in a whirl of despair and control.  That Infinite light contains a seed of healing that I have confidence is there. May Hashem have mercy upon my soul and may I receive  the potential of compassion from a concealed place in my thinking so that I  may fill Torah and mitavahs and acts of compassion with it. 

Thank you for my life, thank you for real free will, thank you for the raw material that Hashem gives me by being alive that I can bring forth with free will to rectify kedusha from a concealed state to a revealed state through dependence on Hashem and prayer and asking for mercy. 

Please have mercy on my soul.  I will for all of the life force and energy that Hashem is sending into this world through the surrounding way and in the filling way to be unified and heal my thinking.  May Hashem have mercy upon me so that my will to embrace the privilege of re-garmenting them form a strong channel for the light to come into this world.  May the Torah, learning, prayer and compassion that my speech and deeds bring sanctify Your Name.  May the whole world will see that there is Hashem.

Please may this teshuva be a merit, a healing, a blessing, a cancellation of gezeira and a satisfaction of din for the soul as it exists in myself my family, klal yisrael and the world. 

Even though we are all in separate bodies that appear as separate vessels, what Fills all the worlds is Hashem alone and each o e of us has the ability to affect a unique repair that Hashem has designed our unique souls to do.

Therefore may the repairs that we as individuals may choose to do improve the flow of compassion into the world by rectifying the characteristics within us.  Please grant us our will, to be clear lenses for Hashem’s love to flow into this world.  My confidence comes from trusting that You grant such a will, for our soul is a part of Hashem’s compassion implicitly

Here is what my day looks like today (be specific.)  Please may my lens remain clear and I should re-garment the compassion that You wish to come into this world in every moment and in every breath.

I am stepping into my day connected to the root of Your Compassion, to be a channel.  Thank you for my life.

Reflections on Behalotecha – Kindling Character Traits from Apples from the Orchard – Arizal on the Parsha

This blog post is inspired by the above excerpt from Apples from the Orchard.

It is compassionate of Torah to tell us how we are spiritually constructed so that we may come, over time, through hisbodedus and contemplation, to apply more and more of our real free will to rectifying our character traits and the four foundations (earth, wind, water and fire).

There is a concept of run and return. Perhaps it is a familiar term to some and not to others, yet everyone experiences the emotions that put us in motion. The question becomes whether the actions or speech we take are revealing our true essence or not.

We may even have confusion over what our true essence is.

The Torah teaches us that there is a vessel and a filling, a body and a soul, a cup and water, a candlestick and a candle.

These are not one and the same, even though in delivering its purpose it appears to be one thing. A cup of water is something we view as a single whole, not as a cup and some water. It is integrated.

Watch how babies come into the world. Clenched fists, crying, totally dependent souls in body. One integrated unit in appearance, but in reality, it is a vessel called a body that is enlivened by a flow of compassion that is given a unique design by Hashem. Just as every snowflake is one substance, no two snowflakes have ever been identical.

There is an “operating system” called nature for the body. Hashem designs each body as well and in so doing, we all know these are hardly a unique design – variety abounds, along with challenges and various talents and gifts. There is a flow of compassion that surrounds every atom of the body, though, maintaining it with a compassion that is once again that universal enlivening flow.

These two flows are intended to meet within the heart of a person and unify.

How this happens is through the use of real free will.

The obstacles are unrectified character traits – influences from the raw elements of earth, wind, water and fire that flow through us (solid, gas, liquid and radioactive). And the obstacles often feel like they are dragging us over fiery coals.

If the whole world is surrounded by compassion and filled with compassion, why do we feel like we are being dragged over fiery coals? Why do we not experience a constant flow of compassion? Man has dominion over everything in the universe through the elements and our choices. Infinite light surrounds the world and is able to enter our hearts through our ingestion of food and our perceptions. We have natural reactions to these raw elements, as if the body and soul can be only one integrated unit according to the natural messages. Torah teaches us that the soul and thebo dy can become integrated according to the messages of Torah and emulating the thirteen attributes of Hashem’s compassion.

The work is for us to have the emunah to awaken ourselves and uplift our natural compassion.

Torah teaches us that Hashem is One. And we have a drive to implement the wisdom that we know. Ideally, our drive is to strive to live by the truth that Hashem is One. Yet we are in a fallen world and have a huge blind spot. And that blind spot is that we have compassion upon ourselves. Thus, it is easy for us to see that we may fall short of living as Torah demands -after all, coming closer to Hashem is an Infinite path and we do not want to feel inadequate or unworthy. Torah teaches us that it is a ladder and the goal is to make an effort to go up the ladder. We may fall down, but we keep our eyes upwardly focused.

What does this translate to?

I suggest twos questions.

Am I applying the compassion in my heart in a way that will expand and nurture awareness that Hashem is doing everything so that my will to implement His Oneness in my actionsh as that intent to the best of my current ability?

Have I shown compassion in a way that forgets or diminishes or adds concealment that Hashem is doing everything?

In all fairness, it is important to remember our design. Our nefesh elokis grows up with impressions from when we are very young based on the culture within our home of origin. whether or not these were healthy impressions, they are familiar and have a sense of comfort for that reason. What we are comfortable with may feel compassionate to us! Very often, our frustrations may be coming from clinging to the familiar and mistaking this for being compassionate.

Shall we ask the above two questions? Do we see how these questions help us discover the despair and the self-interest that may be an undertow away from Hashem is doing everything? Are we willing to name it to tame it – a projection of the Soton designed to help us use real free will and emunah to bring together the compassion that surrounds and fills all the worlds?

Are we willing to look inside with the understanding that our hesitation to do so may be only a vessel we are clinging to and not our essence? If we are aware that the strength and force of our hesitations is compassion trapped in a natural vessel, are we willing to depend on Hashem and pray for mercy so that we may restore that compassion to a place above our wisdom that may nurture awareness of Hashem?

A customer service experience that reveals our hearts and helps us find ways to bring light healing and unity into the world

This week I bought software online that was to be downloaded. As the download started, it said it would take two hours. But it did not download and time after time it failed. One time I got a download but when I tried to install it, there were corrupted files. So the next day, when technical support opened, I called.

As is common today, before the call, there is a recording that says “if you are willing to take a short survey after the call, please press 1.” I have learned that I get better service if I agree to the survey call, so I pressed 1. I do not know if the representative knows that said I would take the survey, but they surely know I might. Thus, the representative is now interested in a good outcome. And wants to help.

The natural feeling of having to call for help is aggravation, why didn’t this work. and the repesentative knows this. As a result, the representative tries very hard to help, and had a solution. The solution was for me to bock my firewall. And that sent panic through me because I did not know how to do that nor did I know what terrible things could happen in the time it was blocked. Thus frustrated and scared, I still heard the help I was being given. The representative sent me another link from a more secure server to do the download and told me that if this does not work I have to block the firewall. The representative asked what my virus protection was and felt confident that the remedy of blocking the firewall would certainly help the situation. Not being totally comfortable because I felt ignorant of how to do that and I was wanting someone to do it for me, i was having a fiery inner reaction, Thank goodness I understood it well enough to be appreciative and tell the representative when asked that I would give a great recommendation, which I did.

Why was it necessary to experience the range of reactions? How did the life force within me get “stuck” in laziness, low confidence, being a taker? That is our nature. Everyone is born into this. It is the natural condition and therefore there is no grounds for thinking poorly of ourselves or anyone else for these feelings. It is a matter instead for us to realize the OPPORTUNITY we have when experiencing the natural.

What is that opportunity? The opportunity is to break our nature and thereby bring Hashem’s Infinite light into the world by impacting the four foundations of the world at play, earth wind water and fire.

Steps to Initiating a Repair from the Nefesh Elokis:

  1. The human condition that we find ourselves in over and over again, of feeling our anochius strongly and being reactive, is the place Hashem sends us so that we have the opportunity to use real free will. We know it as our reptilian brain, our amygdyla. That neuropathway is capable of becoming cleaned off of anochius reactions so that it experiences the nefesh elokis as natural and the body responds.
  2. When we are in such a state of reactivity, we find ourselves in judgments and hurtful messages that are destructive or self destructive. This is an experience of Elokim, Hashem is concealed.
  3. Instead of enclothing such reactions and bringing them into speech and deeds, we run instead to Shivisi Hashem lneged tamid AND my sin “my tendency towards feeling my anochi” is before me always. Teshuva is needed. It is important to see how the nefesh behema is interested in its pleasures and cannot fathom the pleasure that might somehow come to it from Hashem.
  4. By having compassion on the Shechina in exile, by going to shifless, lowliness, malchus, we re-establish connection to H-shem is One and all loving by being compassionate on the kedusha in the reaction.
  5. Now we can shift our weight from the anochi reaction to our effort to go above our natural urges and impulses, We confess our natural state. We tell Hashem that we want to go above that natural will because we want to enclothe the kedusha in Torah mitzvahs and compassion. We ask for that gift, that shift of light, to be given to us. and we wait.
  6. Once we feel the shift, we may now act, and those mitzvahs, learning, acts of compassion, have the kedusha from the place where they came to us. Our anochi is nullified and the atzmi re-garments the light.

Shifting to Kedusha Meditation
Take a breath.
Light proof.
I want to not want these messages.
I will to bring this kedusha to You Hashem.
I will to re-garment it with love, acceptance, shalom, and mitzvahs.

But by myself,
I am stuck behind this block.

I sincerely know
that You are doing everything.
Please may my sincere will to be the channel for this kedusha to flow to You be acceptable.”

Have mercy upon me.

Trust and have confidence that whatever happens is the very best that could happen.

A deep exhale.
A feeling of light.
Until the next time.

How does this help? What is the spiritual process operating? It is an opportunity to unify the Yud K Vav K, the male aspect of Hashem’s Name with Anochi, the female aspect of Hashem’s Name. The result is an expression reflecting Hashem is One. THAT is the opportunity when we experience our self-interest emotionally, when Hashem is concealed. We have the opportunity to recognize our Creator!

Hashem surrounds all the world and He fills all the worlds.

The surrounding light is the infinite light the male, the chochma, and that’s there no matter what. It’s nourishing everything in the world.

What fills us is the inner penimi that’s our nefesh elokis.

So Hashem surrounding the world that’s Elokim, that’s what we see, He’s maintaining everything, no matter what, whether it believes in him or doesn’t believe in Him. The people who are atheists, He still maintains them. Dogs, cats,birds all surrounding light.

The inner penimius of a person is a nefesh elokis that Hashem designs. The nefesh elokis is a spiritual organ, we don’t control it. He’s running it. It’s our life force. He is coursing through us and it’s a female expression of Hashem.

The male aspect is the infinite light. that is chochma. Now, if Hashem’s the infinite light , the chohma, the yud,and that awareness would try to come into the female light, the inner penimius, the understanding, the Bina directly, there would not be a world because it would be nullified.

So he sets up His influence. He hides the male chochma aspect in Elokim and He creates the nefesh elokis that he puts into a contained in a constricted limited space called a body, but the nefesh elokis is the female and has the ability to receive the kedusha that’s concealed in Elokim. The plan is for Hashem’s light to flow into the world and still have a world that is not nullified in His Infinite light,

So Hashem gives us real free will and He gives us material existence. That’s the body, that’s our surival instinct and ego self interest. We are born bonded to the natural so that the yetzer hara can project his zuhama through us and we have the illusion of an independent self and that’s a necessary thing so that we have real free will.

As we grow older, we learn to submit those beliefs so that we can become the initiating agent for our nefesh elokis to do its repair of drawing the kedusha concealed within Elokim, the kedusha that’s concealed in the light proofing that he puts over it. He puts light proofing over kiddusha so that our nefesh elokis has the opportunity to be the one that draws it forth.

How do we get that opportunity? By initiating a will to go above our natural urges and impulses,that is our will.- to initiate the process of submitting our material. Just as in the customer service story, to remain patient, responsible, polite, and private about our base reactions.

Once we will it and ask for mercy, knowing we are completely dependent, because all there is in the world is Hashem and we have no power, no value, no nothing we are a clump of dirt from eretz Yisrael, then all the energy flows and that material – the dirt from the land of Israel – now has the opportunity to radiate that energy taken from the painful experience of self-interest and re-packaged into kindness in speech and deed.

Thatmaterial which we believe is us – the ego – imagined it had an independent self -and now is given the task and the pleasure of re-garmenting the kedusha in our life force in acts of mitzvahs or compassion.

The Infinite light is able to flow into the world without nullifying the world.

There can still be a world that reveals Hashem’s unified light Yud k vav k and adni.

And how will we handle things when someone we love feels we have not gone the extra mile for them, when someone we love is hurt that we didn’t double down in their time of need because we did everything we could and there was more the person craved unrealistically? We will be able to give them love and express to them we wish we could have, but it was not realistic or possible for us, that we love them and did a b and c and will continue to do a b and c, but how else can we accomplish d?

This is a way we might respond when we may have otherwise responded with – how ungrateful! Can you believe it, after all I did! It wasn’t enough!

Are we beginning to see the place where we have the opportunity to break our nature and bring light into the world, light, healing and unity?

And the truth will make us laugh – a compassionate word to the wise

Chazal tell us that when Moshiach comes (may it be right now), it will be as if we awaken from a dream and we will laugh.

What awareness will we have? Laughter comes when we see the paradox in something. It is compassionate of the Torah to explain to us our makeup.

The paradox of being a soul in a body is that there is something apparently real to us other than Hashem.

Hashem is concealed but is the only Being alive, the only Being with power, and the only Being with value.

Coursing through our body is an emanation of Hashem, a nefesh elokis, made in His Image.

He conceals Himself within the makeup of a body that is naturally attuned to the forces of nature and which is composed of the four foundations of the world, solid, liquid, gas and radioactive material.

From the natural state, there is kedusha concealed within these four foundations, the soul of every atom, that is covered over. The utterances of Hashem are light proof – we see the form, not the compassionate essence. We feel ourselves and the inherent pleasure in that conceals a truer way to experience the pleasure for which we are created…the experience of revealing Hashem’s compassion as we do His Will in mitzvahs and kindness.

How, then, shall that compassionate essence come into the world?

Hashem designs a nefesh elokis to absorb that concealed compassionate essence. just as our organs work without our consciousness, so too is our nefesh Elokis prepared to effect the repair on the four foundations when we submit what is blocking the nefesh elokis from connecting to the inner essence of what we encounter.

What keeps this connection between the essence concealed within Elokim and the nefesh elokis from happening?

The material that covers the four foundations confuse our will. We are given naturally to an identity of self that feels itself, that needs to survive, that pursues gratification, honor, and goals of living.

Yet there is a part of our soul that knows the truth. above our natural will, beyond our physicality, is a part of our soul that experiences Hashem’s essence as love at all times without stopping. It experiences pleasure in that truth, although we do not sense that. The reason is that the pleasure extends into our bodies covered by real free will, and that will is confused because of the eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Hashem creates a world so that the nefesh elokis may potentially project into the world the kindness and compassion that is the essence of the four foundations, earth/sold, water/liquid, wind/gas, and fire/radioactive. What removes the light proofing? What makes it possible for the nefesh elokis to receive the essence concealed in that light proofing? Submission of the identity that we think is us – namely every way we define ourselves other than as a nefesh elokis that is an emanation of Hashem here to reveal Him.

Our primary purpose is to bring compassion and mitzvahs into this world. Doing so means that we sincerely use our real free will and power of speech to pray that the essence of Hashem flow through our speech and deeds into this world .

This does not mean that our role is at opportune moments. It means that with every breath, we are here to be the channel for His Light.

What happens though? We get upset. We find ourselves feeling frustrated, angry, scared, insulted, frightened and the like. Unfortunately, such feelings often result in speech or deeds that allay blame or shame upon ourselves or others. When we attempt to use our logical mind to “figure it out,” we have neglected the primary awareness that actually holds the remedy.

The primary awareness that holds the remedy is that Hashem is doing everything, that He loves us, that we are totally dependent upon His mercy, that He wants us to call out to Him, that He wants us to recognize the natural way we feel and tell Him that we feel such and such but that it is our will to go above the natural urges and impulses so that we may be a channel to reveal Him. Such a prayer reflects compassion upon the Shechina that is otherwise trapped (Hashem willingly conceals Himself in the form Elokim so that we have real free will) in the frustrated angry, scared, insulted, frightened or otherwise negative feeling. As soon as we act with compassion towards our life force, recognizing our Creator and choosing that Hashem’s emanation should not linger in a low place because of our choosing to try to deal with it based on natural thinking and/or for the experience of feeling gratification for our natural urges and instincts, we re-connect with the true reality. The edusha bonded with the negativity is able to bond with messages of Torah, avoda, and chesed in accordance with Hashem’s will.

That step is called submission. Why is it hard?

To go against our natural thinking means suffering the pain of giving up what we believe about ourselves and about the world. These beliefs may be very positive and perhaps have served us well in reaching worldly goals. It therefore means we are abandoning familiar and gratifying beliefs as well as coping mechanisms that have been with us since we were born. We have talents, intelligence, experience and a track record! How could it be that we are asked to “roll over?” Didn’t Hashem give us these talents? didn’t Hashem send the hashgacha pratis to us to help us “take” what we need?

There is a process within us by which we have a life force that is beyond our control. This process brings a nefesh elokis into potential contact with Elokim. How do we bring out that potential? Recognize our Creator! That is our role, to realize where we have been placed in order to remember to recognize and thereby initiate the process He has set us in so that we may serve! And what is the initiation? To show compassion upon the Shechina so that it may come into this world in a revealed form. This means NOT hijacking the Shechina for our own gratification.

Self-interest IS the opportunity to draw the kedusha from the raw four foundations. This is our natural state from birth. It takes Torah and emunah to break out. Hashem has to be more real to us than the banker!!! When we truly know that our life force IS His Kedusha running through us and that what is keeping us sad is our trying to do it “on our own,” we actually develop an identity that IS able to bring His Light into the world as a part of Hashem Himself, in the manner we are intended to be “on our own,” a unique compassion-emulating flag waving initiator of His Infinite mercy. The key sincere difference becomes upon whom is our compassion and whose honor are we focused on?

Thus it is time to call ourselves out each time we are drawn to the “rewards” offered by natural thinking – the lusts, the urges and impulses, the rationalizations, the educated beliefs, the addictions, the desire for honor, for money and more. We are born with these inclinations so that we may utilize real free will and recognize our Creator. We want neither the suffering nor the ego reward of what tempts us towards self-gratification. Once we awaken to the true reality that we are totally dependent on Hashem and are here to pray for mercy so that we may reveal His mercy, life actually becomes far more pleasant, despite the apparent survival-oriented natural appearing reality. When we are unified with Hashem, He keeps the natural forces working in favor of our sustenance. Thus, in what we submit is also what brings to us what we had otherwise sought after for our gratification.

What if we could hold this paradox between soul and body with our true trust in the life force He gives us as what we are here to reveal as compassion in every breath? What would we answer those who ridicule such an approach as lacking the skills to get our needs met or reach our goals? Where shall we place our trust? Every day in davening we say that all is vain. We do not have to permit the external world to overtake our being – we just have to realize Who has the power to protect us.

The challenge is that our animal soul cannot sense this truth on its own. Our nefesh elokis mist be strengthened in emunah and compassion must be shown to the natural part of our makeup by our intellect so that our animal soul can break its bond with the natural belief in self-interest and survival and truly reject the suffering of ego and its puny temporary rewards.

Yes puny.

All that power.

All that pleasure.

All that honor.

It is a scam.

Go out into the field and begin talking to the Creator. Purge all the thinking into His Love. Understand He is Reality. Understand we ask for His Mercy. And trust in His Salvation. Only then may we engage the talents and gifts He flows through us, knowing that we are truly part of Him here to flow compassion and give.

At all times, every moment, we are like an employee in a nuclear reactor station…we must take proper steps and follow Torah and emulate Him, so that we may live with His Love revealed. If we believe instead in our own thinking and power, we may run into radioactive areas,which means we are bound to endure His Judgments – sent lovingly to us to awaken us. It is always all good, but we may choose our path. Submission or suffering. Either way, we will bring forth His Compassion into the world.

The material that we submit to Hashem – our self-interest – permits a flow of energy for which we are uniquely designed and for which we are created to reveal through Torah, avodah and mitzvahs. Let’s grab onto our inner essence as well as the inner essence concealed in Elokim . Let’s not be swept away by the outer appearances of Elokim and let’s submit rather than enliven the outer reactions to those appearances. Let’s let go of fear and cynicism remembering we are shown to know that Hashem is doing everything. Let’s trust that until we find a compassionate and giving option, there is more hidden compassion for us to submit and thereby return to Him. We may have to take small incremental steps, but these steps require a full submission at each choice point. Hashem is One, there is No other.

What blocks us deeply from removing our light proofing?

I can speak only for myself obviously, and that is what I am doing here.

Nothing I write in this post is about anyone other than me. I say this because what I am about to say might otherwise cause self-recrimination and hurtful self-talk, chas v’shalom. Thus, I must assume that it is I alone who suffer from this addiction to wanting to feel that I am good because I am smart and I know and I am right. As I reflect on how these associations develop, I remember how it felt to get good grades. And, the inverse. One time I had an 87 average in English in 7th grade and the teacher sent home a failure notice!!!! Her position was that I should have a 97 average. I did not miss honor roll or high honor roll after that. So you see, I am confessing that I developed a sense of being “good” from being smart and/or right.

How deeply does this sense go?

What I am beginning to understand is that the reason her failure notice “worked” is precisely because the nefesh behema “feels itself” in a positive way when we feel “rewarded.” I developed an esteem based on the frequency and availability of this “I am good, right and smart” feedback. And what happens when I do not have such feedback available?

This is where the amount of abuse or neglect experienced in my natural development can exert itself. All those negative messages light proof the inherent goodness of the nefesh elokis – you are no good, you blew it, why did you have to, what is the matter with you, you are shameful, no wonder no one wants to be with you. These messages are designed to “correct” me so that I may once again find that flow of messages from the outside world that tells me “I am good, right and smart” – and LOVABLE.

Lovable. That is the word that tells me that my innocent nefesh elokis became trapped in light proof messages. Torah tells us that Hashem loves us at all times. There is a part of my soul that at every moment is in touch with Hashem’s love shining upon me. The light proof messages say – “if you don’t listen to me, how will you know right from wrong?” I now have learned to answer it “Torah , mitzvahs and compassion show me true morality and give me conscience.”

I am always loved by Hashem, regardless of how many aveiras I intentionally or unintentionally do. Nothing damages the nefesh elokis that He has designed and through which I have a unique mission and life. The light proof messages I have covering it over are NOT the essential self but rather the results of being human and the natural resource filled with kedusha that Hashem gives to my nefesh elokis to re-absorb into His Compassion. I see and confess my aveiras. I do teshuva and make a resolve for the future. I have real free will.

Even when I feel that I have a breakthrough, the first thought is “I am right!” How do I redeem the kedusha from THAT thought,which otherwise would drag all the kedusha back into light proof messages?

“By myself, I would just enjoy the pleasure of being right from the perspective of my animal soul. But I want to not want that pleasure as what motivates me. I want to want the pleasure of re-garmenting the kedusha into speech and deeds that reveal Your compassion. I want Torah, mitzvahs and compassion to dominate my heart.”

And then come the tests! Insults! Push downs! Accusations and blame! How do I not defend myself? Practically every teaching since the 1960’s has been in assertiveness training and giving a retort to protect the boundaries of the ego from harm! And not only that, the proliferation of success in such tactics speaks to my animal soul! The zeitgeist of today is to retort and not “take” anything hurtful!

RUN to hisbodidus. All of that kedusha is there for only one reason, for me to be the channel for the kedusha in those light proof messages to flow back to Hashem! UNDERSTAND the four elements and that Hashem is asking us to do His Will and be the “kidney” to clean off this kedusha! It may well involve my ego and my personal existence but it is not personal!!! I am not bad! It does not mean I am not good! I do not have to fall into despair, from which the yetzer hara has a foothold to begin a tornado of thinking between despair and ego/gaiva. This other did NOT get away with anything! It is from Hashem, an encounter with Elokim.

It is a spiritual opportunity. It is called being human. It is called having real free will to immediately have compassion upon the Shechina in exile so that it does not have to experience such pain. As soon as I choose to go to compassion on the kedusha itself, I am once again unified with Hashem’s compassion and light, and I have broken out of the storm of despair and gaiva through which the projections of the Soton otherwise wreak havoc on my emotions. hashem is right here, right now. My sin of being drawn to feeling the animal is before me always.

The foundations of the world are solid, liquid, gas or radioactive, earth water, wind and fire. What I am experiencing are unrectified elements within the middos from chesed to hod that are mixing together within foundation, yesod. To properly rectify it, I raise my eyes above will, above the place of understanding to the will of the nefesh elokis that at all times is basking in Hashem’s love with no doubts, no worries, total confidence in His Love and in that He is doing everything. Dovid HaMelech says “I am a worm.”

At that moment, I am having an experience of Elokim, Hashem concealed, presented to the repairing nefesh elokis that He designs to extract His compassion from a concealed to a revealed expression. What is keeping that flow from happening is…..MY DESIRE TO FEEL THAT I AM GOOD AND LOVABLE in the eyes of the external world, the place of circumstances that is causing this tornado of thinking building up between despair and arrogance within me.

But I am right! EGO.


That is the “reward” offered by the yetzer hara to keep me “feeding” the darkness with my thinking. In front of me is a huge block of energy, blocking my path towards the light with “this time you have to listen and stand up for yourself, it is enough. when will you learn?”

Taking a breath. Kedusha. Light proof. I want to not want these messages. I will to bring this kedusha to You Hashem. I will to re-garment it with love, acceptance, shalom, and mitzvahs. But by myself, I am stuck behind this block. I sincerely know that I am a clump of dirt and that You are doing everything. Please may my sincere will to be the channel for this kedusha to flow to You be acceptable.”

A deep exhale.

A feeling of light.


Until the next time.

From light proof to translucent – every moment we have kedusha running through us is our opportunity to conceal or reveal compassion

Rav Asher story -The list of questions

Rabbi Asher Freund shows us over and over again how the nefesh behema(developed within our bodies interacting in the world) is the one naturally dominating our hearts from birth – an old familiar friend. Yet within us is a nefesh elokis, a spiritual creation of Hashem that is designed to repair the elements earth, wind, water and fire from an unrectified state to a rectified state.

Rabbi Asher Freund, by his own example and in the stories of those who were close to him, shows us this place over and over again. For our self-image messages, we find this place painful to admit and we want to push back. To that place within us, it feels like we are hurting ourselves and that it can’t be necessary to go that far, that surely we “deserve” to have “some respect or consideration.”

I am positive that everyone reading this is experiencing a question mark, like “what is wrong with that?!”

So I don’t want anyone to feel hurt or be put off, yet it is compassionate of Rabbi Asher to tell us how we are made so that we may experience the true simcha of living and the fulfill the universal mission of the Jewish people as well as our individual missions. With this said, do I have permission to proceed, to share this spiritual makeup so that we are not kidnapped by the forces that wish only our destruction, enjoying the meager kickbacks of pleasure given to the nefesh behema so that we fall into the dark? Please continue only by holding on tightly to the image of Hashem’s Name Havaya, to the compassion that radiates from His Throne of Honor, with the intention of bringing any strong kedusha that arises from these words to that light, with will, with emunah, with bitachon, in unity.

Within us is a nefesh elokis, a spiritual creation of Hashem that is designed to repair the elements earth, wind, water and fire from an unrectified state within the nefesh behema that are light proof to the kedusha within it. The nefesh elokis is built to absorb that kedusha from the grips of the light proof messages that latch onto it so that the nefesh behema may reflect light into the world.

How does the nefesh elokis make this repair? Hashem designs this inner light to bring the kedusha in the unrectified elements to Him WHEN we use our real free will to choose to be a channel. Hashem answers our prayers when we will that He remove the natural yet concealing “light proof” messages of self-interest from the surrounding light, which is an Infinite Light, so that the nefesh habehema re-garment all of the light into thoughts speech and deeds that reveal His Light, for Hashem is One.

Our role is to comprehend the difference between the kedusha and the messages, to have emunah, to will to be a channel across which the kedusha is returned to Hashem. What happens when a soul leaves a body? It perishes. Likewise with the light proof messages – when we will and ask, Hashem activates our nefesh elokis – He designs our soul to do this -and guess what? Bye bye messages. Now we are free to design new messages based on Torah and mitzvahs and compassion for that light. In so doing, we – being made of the four foundations earth/solid, water/liquid, air/gas, and fire/radioactive – are the conduits through which Hashem’s Infinite Light comes into the world. We do not do anything but will, pray, and trust. Hashem is doing everything, including giving us the ability to will, pray and trust. Yet we have real free will.

What is the goal? the goal is that our nefesh elokis become the dominant force within our being, with the nefesh behema serving the goals of Torah, mitzvahs and compassion.

Feeling a push back?

Great! That is kedusha. What is the message? Check its address!!! Is it self-interest? Now comes the tough part. Ahem. Pardon me, I mean no hurtfulness, and I apologize for causing distress but we are nothing but a clump of dirt. We will all return to being a clump of dirt, which is at the present moment gifted with kedusha. However, the goal of being given kedusha is ONLY so that we may serve Hashem in the manner that He desires, in relationship, to bring that Infinite light from our light proof messaging system into thought speech and deeds so that the foundations of the world may reveal Hashem. Hashem’s Infinite light must come into the world in this fashion in order that a world appear. Otherwise, that Infinite Light would nullify the appearance of a world. Are we beginning to see how great is Hashem?

Imagine all that He does for us – food, warmth, color, love – all so that we are happy in His Service. Yet, we are in His Service. And we have the natural tendency to become light proof, believing in protecting our self-interest.

Rabbi Asher Freund leads us to see this place within us with tremendous compassion so that we are not afraid to look at this place. Rather, we are strengthened in emunah and ahavas Hashem in order to come to live a truer reality, ein od milvado, with simcha and ahavas yisrael, with unity and compassion and peace.

Our light proof messages are the best logic of the despair/gaiva cycling our natural thinking develops. It feels like we are being dragged over fiery coals to will to go above our urges and impulses in this regard. How well has all our light proofing messaging served us? Are we closer or farther from each other? Are we feeling like givers or takers? Are we feeling like preserving ourselves is our mission, to keep our light from being drained or damaged by others?

When we strengthen ourselves with consciousness and emunah, we begin to move to a place of compassion. we have compassion upon the kedusha that is concealed in the light proof messages. As soon as we move to compassion, we are one with Hashem!! We have pierced the light proofing! From there, Hashem helps.

May we begin to see our personal light proofing as holding us back from simcha, not as self-preservation.

May we have compassion on the kedusha concealed within those messages and ask Hashem to please help us reveal His Light.

May we keep in mind that revealing this Light is our universal and individual mission, returning the fallen sparks, so that Hashem may be revealed in this world.

May our effort to do so be a merit, a blessing, a healing, a teshuva, a cancellation of gezeira and a satisfaction of din for the soul as it exists in ourselves, our families, klal yisrael and all of mankind.

Paradigm shift when we are triggered – the potential for real simcha

We are responsible to bring the implosion of emotions triggered by our experiences to blessings in this world.

Along with every moment of life, we experience thoughts and emotions, some constricting, some reactive, some prideful, some lustful, some validating, some arrogant and more. What is this for? Is it for us to act upon these thoughts and emotions, garmenting them into actions and speech? NO!

We need a total paradigm shift.

Let’s say we are experiencing something and we are analyzing it and come up with a judgment based on our best assessments. REALIZE THAT IN THIS SET OF FEELINGS AND JUDGMENTS IS KEDUSHA TO BRING FROM THE KELIPAS TO HOLINESS. The question – what does Hashem want from me right now – can be re-stated as – what merit, blessing, teshuva, healing, or compassion may I re-garment this kedusha as?

The Baal Shem Tov teaches us that whatever we may judge another is being shown to us because our nefesh elokis is designed to make this repair in the world. To do so, the first step is to realize the implosion is an opportunity to bring blessing into the world and NOT damages.

Once this realization sits with us as the truth, we investigate our human nature to find where we, being human, have experienced this same situation from the place of the other person. Since we are all receiving our nature from the same place, it is safe to assume that we will find understanding we have given to ourselves for when we have been there and done that.

There is a story of a Rav who stopped seeing people until he could find the place within himself, even if just a small taste, to relate to the sin confessed to him by one man. Until he could find it, he did not feel qualified to hear from anyone, for he had not reached the place of emptying himself necessary to help. Once he did, he resumed.

This quality is called shifless. It is realizing that Hashem is doing everything. It is facing our blocks regarding the place Hashem has put us in this world, a soul in a body that is in constant contact with both Hashem’s love and the projections of zuhama that are attractive to our natural self-interested tendencies.

When we are experiencing an implosion and we have the emunah that this is the design of man, placing us in the grip of the projections of zuhama, we are then able to ask ourselves not what shall we do about this but rather, how may I convert this kedusha into healing and blessing and teshuva? If we do this within our own personal middos, we are doing it for the soul as it exists in ourselves, our families, and klal yisrael. THIS is what Hashem wants from us in the moment, to submit to the real task of re-garmenting kedusha into compassionate revelation. When we then step into the matter, His Light shines into the world.

May we see the truth of this and find this paradigm shift attractive and empowering.