May the learning on this post and for the forty days be dedicated for a refuah shelama for Michal Lieba bas Rivka Devorah
Rosh Chodesh Nisan is forty days from today. Rosh Chodesh Nisan is parallel to Rosh Chodesh Tishrei. We know very well that forty days before Rosh Hashana is the month of elul where we do a deep internal introspection, with the King in the field, preparing for the day of judgment. Nisan, however, is the time of our redemption. We hope that, just as we were redeemed from Egypt that we will be redeemed from galus.
What are we doing for the preparations? We are cleaning our houses, and spiritually cleaning to find where our sense of self may have become too enlarged. We are reducing our sense of self to the level of matzah. Where have we become overly self-focused? How can we bring Hashem into the picture more deeply within our hearts?
There is a natural glue we have within our makeup that bends our life force towards ourselves and our goals. We have impurities, such as unhealthy thinking or imbalanced reactions. If we find these impurities and take responsibility for them, we have the real free will to recognize that the glue to our self-concern is powerfully diverting our life force in a direction that is hurting ourselves or others. With recognition that the glue is filled only by the power of Hashem, we have inward recognition of Hashem as the only Power and the emunah to ask Him to please glue us instead to awareness of His Love and Mercy. We often blast right past this point to find ourselves stewing in judgment or negativity. It is possible to back up and see where the lack started – that enduring sense of something missing – and see that what is gluing us there, the glue itself, is Hashem’s power hidden, diverting us from awareness of Him in favor of our self-concern. Memorize this!! We are empowered to make effort to recognize Hashem and release something trapped in falsehood to something revealed as good in our hearts.
Love Hashem in our heart. In the mind, feel Hashem as all good and all loving surrounding us. Now that we have love in our heart and surrounding us, we begin to notice, name and describe the actual experience that feels so distressing, realizing that what we are experiencing is our own soul invested in thoughts that formed due to being glued to self-concern without enough understanding or awareness of Hashem’s love and compassion or the way Hashem has designed us.
Hashem wants a being that can recognize Him and ask for its needs so that He may bestow upon us the good He desires to give. To receive this good, it is up to us to make ourselves into a strong receptacle to be a channel through which the good may flow. The work is to recognize Hashem in that glue that attaches us to self-interest and to ask instead to be attached to awareness of Hashem, letting go of all our experiential emotions that block us from feeling Hashem’s total love. Once re-balanced in this way, we look again at our circumstance and can act, only now we will be a channel of blessings, with Hashem’s help.
We may find ourselves there again and again! It does not mean our efforts were in vain. It means Hashem wants us to do it again!! Our effort is releasing and has impact. Hashem wants our hearts.
May we all move ourselves at least one small drop to more awareness of Hashem in our hearts and may our effort at this time tip the scales so that this year is the time of our redemption from galus.
There is a program that began today on the Redemption Project offering media clips to help us learn more about how to do this. Meditations are given too. There are paths for all levels. Please visit the site (under construction) and join or if any difficulty joining there, join here
Before Adom ate from the tree of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, he did not know that he was naked. After the eating, there came into Adom an awareness of self and then he knew. This knowing of the self is something we are glued to, it is our natural condition. However, is it true or is it a veil that permits the world to exist?
In the zuhama that was formed from its root in tohu in the highest world of atzilut, is this powerful glue. There is No Other Power, however. Hashem hides His Infinity in the root elements of nature and fills all the worlds. Hashem hides behind the zuhama, to which we are attached naturally by our neurological design. And,h hem declares it very good!
Hashem does not force Himself upon us. Our nature has to agree.with real free will, we may submit our natural reactions in favor of awareness of Hashem. On Rosh Hashana, we declare Hashem Melech. Awareness. We are paupers, recognizing ein od milvado.
When we experience natural negative reactivity, and we have the emunah and bitachon to say this is Hashem, a spark of the infinity of Hashem that is hidden in the darkness is freed to join with our soul, completing us, healing us. We have awareness of Hashem and we do not fear, because we know that He is all loving and only does good.
do we all have times when our grouchies arise and we feel overtaken? This is Hashem – I want to remove the veil of self that is blocking me from feeling Hashem’s constant presence as only love because I want to reveal His Love.
If there is strong inner movement, hold tight to His Throne of Honor, for only Hashem has value and eternal existence. Awarenes of Hashem’s love quites the dry hot fire of our imagination,and as we cool off, the affronts or fears we have become less stormy, just as a hurricane slows down when it is over cooler land.
The parsha shows us what a lack of awareness of Hashem’s total love and constant presence can stir.
May we see our attraction to the concerns for the self as opportunities to say this powerful reaction I am having is sourced in Hashem. It is light hidden by the veil of having eaten from the tree of knowledge of good ad evil. i want and choose the tree of life. Please help me feel this light as Your Compassion so that I may reveal compassion and positively impact nature, both my own and beyond.
We have real free will. We need emunah. Our personal sacrificing of natural self reactions is our elevation offering. We can erode the impact of the eating and may Hashem help us reveal Him so that He has a home in this world through our hearts.
What are we all experiencing that we have in common blocking us from the feeling of Hashem’s constant bestowal of good upon us?
It takes its form in our unique lives….but universally, it starts from that enduring feeling of a lack of something we cannot articulate….THAT LACK itself is the veil behind which Hashem hides, the glue that we feel to searching for the answer to that question – and the glue itself is filled only by Hashem, invested in the natural force and the spiritual being He creates to rule over nature. That lack is the result of eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, what blo ds us to awareness of Hashem. Our effort to efface it, regardless of results, is our declaration of faith and trust. And it gives us awareness of Hashem after we no longer have free will. This saves us from harsh judgment.
Imagine if we had the depth of awareness to catch that feeling of lack with complete trust that it is Hashem Who is hidden in our nature as well as in the glue that binds us to nature! Imagine if we had the emunah and trust to recognize Him Knowing He is sending light and our inability to recognize Him is causing us to be attracted to explanations that are coming from nature unrectified. Imagine if we could instantly love Hashem and feel empowered to tell Hashem ein od milvado, we are emptying our hearts of all natural reactions out of love for You and a yearning to draw all of this light that is hidden into the hollowness we are opening by our yearning and emunah and trust in You. By so emptying, we ask that all of the light fill the hollow with awareness of You that feels like Your Compassion without any veils or confusion blocking it.
The darkness is something we all know. We walk together there in an instant, with anxiety, anger and more, as we blast past this initial inception of the feeling of lack without even noticing it and we fly into imagination, judgment, blame, shame and pain.
With emunah and bitachon that are strong, and seeing that we are all suffering from the natural forces that are intertwined in our nature, we CAN daven and empty and yearn and….receive.
Hashem desires a being that can recognize Him, describe the nature and submit it.
So now what does this tell us? How often are we pained by something someone says or does that throws us into this place? What if, instead of judging, blaming and shaming, we understood this instant lack, anger, lash out process, sad mad bad, fight or flight response and instead of judging, take our hurt reaction, if any, and instead listen deeply to the other and attempt to give them reassurance, love, explanation, a listening ear. And if they continue to lash us, what do we do? We can take everything within us from our own nature that corresponds in that moment and say ze Hashem. We can tell Hashem that we know He fills all the worlds and everything including all these reactions. We can tell Hashem that we are aware and because we are aware, we are emptying our reactions into His love, hollowing out not only our subjectivity but also the natural forces that bind us to these reactions, the very forces of nature, so that His Infinity hidden within these veils becomes revealed and incorporated into our spiritual being and housed in our hearts.
Instead of snipping a retort back, instead of rejecting the other, instead of calling them abusive, or other labels…THAT is the opportunity to say ze Hashem. love Hashem. Breathe. Empty all of our reactions into the truth of His Love. And realize that by affecting nature, we are helping all of us be able to access His Love. We together can weaken the forces of darkness by infusing more and more of Hashem’s revealed love into them when we submit our natural reactions for this purpose.
May we understand deeply that we are all on one team to rectify nature by doing so. But it must be our free willed choice. We easily choose it when we realize that it is our mission and our eternal identity. We easily choose it when we realize the happiness of the soul when awareness of Hashem’s Infinite light drips into our spirituality.
Overlook. Forgive. Send love and light. Be understanding. Be less reactive. Be wise. Be your complete self.
Hashem has given us the mission to change reality. This is faith.
But we may not break apart reality. Faith is purging, making an empty space in our consciousness. Even if I don’t do anything, the world is good. Things are good.
The ability to cleanse ourselves, to create a void inside that is willing to accept the world as it is, this is faith. Overcoming nature is like creating a world, like Hashem did. We learn how to create worlds. Our world is our inner world. Every life is a world. And there are many things that need us to overcome nature.
There has to be an ability to start fresh, to cleanse of all the plans and ways that I thought I would achieve my goal.
For a bracha to dwell in a person, we have to make room for it. We have to make room for it. Otherwise there is no vessel for it. Then we may act. The first reaction is the world is good. This leads us to a calm sea. This is the initial sense of faith, empty of all the troubles and storms to be able to begin to relax, knowing this will work out. I don’t know how.
We don’t have to be so attached to what we have until now as an inner world. Even if there is only Hashem in the world, that is good enough. To “throw the world we have learned away” that is the empty space that can now contain something. And then, whatever we build will be very good, from the ground up. The pieces that we want to hold onto keep us afraid from working freely. The ability to purge is to be able to start, to be empowered but not in ego. We have to be a purged vessel – even if I am not here, it will be fine. This is a leap of faith that everything is fine.
Avraham’s belief in Hashem was so strong that even the previous promises Hashem had given him he was willing to forgo. It is all good for me.
This high level is the first state of mind, to clear ourselves of all our plans we thought we would do to achieve, and start anew. There is a void. But we know it will work out. We don’t know how to get there, but that willingness to void our ideas and inclinations is a necessary step to truly empower someone. That is called purging.
It is not empty though. It means we are clinging to our Source. This is key to comprehend. We want to connect to the absolute Good. When I clean myself out what is left is a quiet contentment that Hashem is good and therefore it is all good, even if it doesn’t happen the way I planned.
The first lesson in bringing Moshiach is we have to believe. Ani Maamim.
We learn from clinging to a tzaddik whose love and fear is a level higher than ours how to love and fear Hashem.
Hashem wants us to have awe in Him. We receive from the tzaddik his awe, so that we know what to acquire, to mimic.
Sometimes we are struggling with something, where we know what the way of light is but something holds us back…and not only does it hold us back, but something bursts forth from our mouth that we totally knew we should not say but “just could not contain ourselves?”
There is great benefit while we are alive in making an effort to see that Hashem’s Power is the only Power, and to see where the soul that He has given us has become connected to thoughts and patterns that have placed veils in front of our eyes. Without realizing it, we think we are the veils! When faced with the same struggle, we become confused regarding who the “real self” is, and feel it necessary to give voice and expression to the messages of our soul that are clinging to false beliefs that have formed in our natural way of developing. This is true for all of us, for we are all children before adults, all immature in our thinking before we advance. Ultimately, the goal is to move upward to the level of spiritual maturity that Hashem envisions for us. To do this, we have the gift of teshuva.
What happens when we realize that our soul is invested in something blinding us from awareness of Hashem’s love in that moment? We have the opportunity to move all of the positive Divine energy held captive in our aveiras, mistaken patterns, and character faults from clinging to the veil to clinging to awareness of Hashem and His Love for us.
When we make the effort while alive to remember that there is only Hashem and that every circumstance, emotion, thought, and trigger is Sourced only in His Will, we bring awareness that it is for our ultimate best…how is it good? Hashem wants us to bring awareness into the very place where we are clinging to a misconception WHILE WE ARE ALIVE. Thus, He uses din, judgment, to help us, to show us where we are blind to His Love, so that we can take the effortful yet simple step of saying Hashem I want to not want this. I recognize You, You the only Power, and instead of experiencing You from this place of pain because of my clinging to a veil something false, I ask that I feel Your love and mercy in this very place in my heart. Please, may the power You invest in the force of the veil that pulls me instead may that very same power be the force with which I connect to awareness of You in my heart.
By so doing, we are no longer associated with our misdoings from the past. We do not see them as us! Instead, we see ourselves as beings devoted to Hashem’s Will and to reflecting Him in this world.
This builds our eternity. This effort stands with us on the day of judgment. This effort helps us turn to Hashem and cling now and forever. May we truly understand and begin the wonderful journey of bringing awareness of Hashem into our very hearts.
The Arizal on parsha Tetzaveh (see Apples from the Orchard section above) explains how the sefirot were one dimensional points, derived from the tohu in the world of Atzilut.The sefirot are incomplete unless they can interrelate and interact. Doing so is the work of tikun.
We come into the world with an immature mentality, able to see only our own perspective, how things impinge on us and what we perceive to be our best interest.
The Arizal explains how the sefirot of netzach and hod have their own content and extend outward and this is why chesed must be paramount in our minds before we actually act. For example, if there could be a generic template for most causes of friction – would it be perhaps:
I am experiencing an enduring sense of lack of something I want or need and I feel angry, scared or insulted and want to say or do something to protect or defend myself
In netzach is an imbalance, a corruption, something gluing us to believing that there is an enduring lack.
In hod is an imbalance, a corruption, something gluing us to believing that we have the strength and interpretation to take what we feel is lacking back with our own hand.
These two imbalances are the taivas and the gaivas, the glue which came from the tohu when we ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The good news is that there is No Other Power! And this is how we write our own story for all eternity, by realizing the opportunity we have to recognize Hashem, Who has hidden Himself in this way, so as to give mankind, the feminine, an opportunity to have free will and exist and truly partner with Him by merely recognizing, noticing and naming the emotions and physical distress while loving Him and grabbing onto the Throne of His Honor, the only Honor there is, so that we may peel back the confusion and make our will His and reveal Him.
May we come to see how to do this, how to comprehend the creation that we are and how we indeed, by regulating the forces of nature within us, make it possible for Hashem to have a home in this world where He is revealed, may it be NOW.
Because our intellect develop within our physicality, as it needs to because the body is designed to stay alive, to survive, our natural reactions to events in our lives is intermingled with the focus on our survival as being in our own hands. The truth is that our survival depends on Hashem, despite how it appears. While we may eat healthfully, take precautions in every way, and live according to Torah, we know that our existence is temporary and that the time of our demise comes when Hashem deems it in the manner that is decreed for us. No one gets out alive. The reason that I am starting with this very stark truth is not to disempower us, but rather to empower us to live not only now, but to utilize the time we have a body so that we live for all eternity with the awareness that while we have bodies, we made an effort to bring awareness of Him into those very natural reactions to the events in our live
Years ago someone told me that my anxieties and fears could heal. I trusted that they were optional, that I could truly bring awareness of Hashem so deeply into my being that I would be able to field the triggering perceptions in a way that prevents shaking and reactivity. And I began to work.
Being able to regulate our natural reactions is the subject of every branch of Torah true Judaism. Here is a document, the best of the best, that shares the focus of the top Rabbis from all branches of Judaism.
What I am sharing here is not something esoteric, intellectual or out of reach. It is the universal mission of every Jewish person. That mission is to recognize that Hashem is all there is, that He has created a being, namely mankind, who is capable of recognizing His Power and Goodness and having a prayerful relationship with Him so that He can bestow good upon us. That good is the inner experience of our hearts implementing His Will. All we need is to clarify our will, to lovingly and gently and sincerely will to rise above our natural reactions to do His Will. Again His Will is that we recognize Him and ask to feel His Good in the very place of our reactivity. We trust in this higher functioning and hold onto His Throne of Honor in lieu of getting caught in the thoughts themselves.
Important to understand is that we cannot even grasp onto one second – the moment a second comes it is in the past. Hashem rules time. The best we are able to do is receive time with love for Hashem and a desire to fulfill His Will.
What does this mean? Let’s say I have a natural reaction of taking insult at something someone says. When I understand that all there is in the world is Hashem Who loves us, how do I serve Him from a place of feeling blamed or shamed? This is compounded for people who have had difficult upbringings or painful traumas.
To understand, we must first understand the limbic system, our natural reactions. Assuming we are familiar with this part of our natural makeup – sad, mad, bad – that our bodies when experiencing such a lack have a survival instinct to defend itself, how do we field our emotions back to Hashem Echad and inner serenity?
The simple answer is to see that our soul that is constricted into our body is limited in its interpretations because we are three worlds away from awareness of Hashem. Nevertheless, the powerful albeit negative natural reactions we are experiencing touch the root element of the world, and are filled by Hashem’s infinite light. Our constricted body can become a strong vessel to hold onto the honor of that infinite light together in our hearts, and thereby make our will His Will, and walk with that, in harmony, in peace. The echo chamber of our natural reactions is well-known to us. What is not well known to us is that these are the momoents where we hve real free will to really will to be like Hashem. These are the moments where we have the ability to write our story for all eternity, that we have the awareness of Hashem Echad while alive. We are never able to be Hashem. But the will and sincerity to bring awareness of Hashem into our being is sufficient to inoculate us from the bread of shame for all eternity. As creations, we ask for His Infinity to merge with our love for Him in our hearts. As a giver, The Creator gives to us abundantly. We are then able to revlect His Goodness into the world, aligned with Hi Will and Oneness, with a body to bring speech and deeds that fulfill Torah and chesed.
May we deeply comprehend how a sincere will to reveal Hashem’s Kavod brings us to purify our will and thereby positively impact the manner in which Hashem maintains the world every moment. We run to Him with our discord with thanks for the opportunity to excrete the confusion into His Love, trusting that the Infinity of His Presence in the physical world will mix together with the soul constricted into our body to form an inner being that serves Him with simcha no matter how powerfully the wind, water, fire and downward earthly pulls are subjectively experienced. Why? We can regulate our emotions by using free will, by purifying our will, to bring awareness of His Honor into our speech and deeds. We have the potential to do this. The results are well worth it, not only for the sake of removing negativity from interfering in our lives, but for returning something to Him that produces a positive influence upon the spiritual realms that then helps to spiritualize the physical realms. Hashem hides His Infinity within water and fire, two opposites, male and female, chochma and bina, and He gives us a ruach, a soul, that can acquire the moisture and the warmth merely through the power of free will, and bring these opposites into harmony within the world. We write our eternal story.