To everyone with a Jewish mom
No matter where you are
Please understand that we are one
Forever, near or far.
Maybe something inside you aches
Maybe there is shame
Perhaps something within you shakes
Were you told you are to blame?
The important thing there is to know
Is that the fault lies not with you
But rather with the part of us
That believes things that are untrue.
And every person alive is born
Into a natural flow
Of thoughts from within
That we toil with as if it is so.
The good news is that we are not
The messages we believe
The hurtful painful terrible rot
That we run away and want to leave.
The bad news is that struggle we must
To make ourselves more
A heightened awareness of Who to trust
Builds eternity galore.
The struggle is not bad news you see
In fact it is our role
To create for ourselves an identity
As an eternal soul.
It is scary to think that what I trust
May not be enough
Much of what I believe seems a must,
Success in the world can be rough!
How can I let go of power
Or money for that matter
To think that a prayerful shower
Will produce a life of flowers?
My heart simply does not feel
That prayer is the way
To care for my family head to heel
I must toil every day.
It’s true that we must toil to thrive
But success is not up to us
And that is the point we need for life
To build a relationship with the Boss.
In fact He gives us real free will
And keeps a silent tone
He wants us to have the thrill
Of choosing to not live alone.
But silent He is not, if we talk to Him.
He is, in truth, very near
And when we open our hearts with tears,
His love dissolves our fear.
For we are one with Him you see
And His Love for us is true
It is we who turn away so free
And then we wonder why we are blue.
So wonder enough to consider this so.
You may always go back to the thought
Where you are right now, in a natural flow.
Or, perhaps you will find an elevated route.
Believe me He is real
He wants you to feel
His love is so near
You are very dear
But He desires
Our hearts on fire,
Not forced by fear
Not threatened by His Ire.
We find what is true
By calling home when blue,
Search within our inner world
And find faith and trust unfurled.
Knowing that the only Being that has life is Hashem intrinsically means that as long as I am alive, Hashem is loving me and involved with me. When circumstances, moods or events that generate sadness offer an alternative perspective, it is 100 percent guaranteed that the thoughts and feelings we have of anger, fear or sadness include influence from the yetzer hara that is created in order to give us real free will.
The natural messages are our first responders. If we do not have the learning or the interest to pursue the learning about the Oneness of Hashem and His Love for us, we use our free will within the natural messages alone, which really limits us regarding solutions and a pathway to happiness.
Without Hashem in the picture, we view our feelings and urges as though these responses are what matters and are showing us who we are and what we need to respond to in order to properly “defend” ourselves or receive “respect.” We may feel like victims of our urges, seeing our thoughts and feelings directed towards resolution of our reactions and urges.
With Hashem in the picture, we are able to view our feelings and urges as something to describe to Hashem and tell Him that they are blocking us from feeling His constant love and mercy for us. We stand firm in the true belief that Hashem is One and all loving and only does good, and that He is sending these reactions and urges to us in order to give us opportunity to be a bridge between heaven and earth across which coarse material of earth wind water and fire may be exposed to the love for Hashem and the awe we have for Hashem in our hearts. By so uplifting these elements with fervent prayer that the compassion concealed within our powerful reactions and urges be re-absorbed into our love and awe, we participate in the purpose for our existence, which is to partner with Hashem in the perfection of the world. Hashem gives us the role of helping to remove the final layer of coarseness from the natural elements. He gives us a holiness, called a tzelem elokim, with which His Power to go above nature can be emulated through the use of free will. We go beyond the reason and understanding of the natural emotions, to love and awe of Hashem and willing that all of the components be reduced to their pure sanctity and absorbed within us. It can be thought of like a spiritual photosynthesis. And remembering to put all of our life challenges into the vessel of a magnetic field we can create between our mind and heart using the six constant mitzvahs is the very best use of our free will. We have real free will to do this. We are built to do this.
May despair, frustration, anger, fear, pain, uncontrolled urges and more soon be distilled to their sanctifying drop of compassion that animates them and may the dross that falls away dissolve from the elements of the world so that Hashem may be revealed.
Because we are prone to negative thoughts that enter our mind, there is something we can hold onto to guard ourselves from despair. Each person has real free will. However, we may not realize the role that subconscious tendencies, which we all have in common, could have upon us instead of luring us into the dark.
The strength of the forces within our subconscious can be released from the negativity itself to become part of a mature intellect that guards us from despair!!
There is only one real inadequacy that we have. The only true inadequacy is that no matter what kindness we do, no matter how much charity, no matter how much we grow and work on our characteristics, we can never be Hashem Himself.
We are not in control.
We have no independent power.
Our existence depends on Hashem alone and He is the only Being whose existence is eternal, unending, and necessary. We are alive because Hashem gives us a life-giving force. We do not have life independently from Hashem. No one dies one second before Hashem decrees it.
What a relief!!! But if we are not in control, have no independent power, and are a mere mortal whose existence in this world is not essential, how do we inoculate ourselves from despair? The answer lies in using real free will in trying moments to go beyond our despair and beseech Hashem to help by freeing us from the negativity and giving us the hidden compassion, the root of sanctity from Him, with which every creation – every emotion, every thought, object, vegetable, animal, or person has. Ein od milvado!
What these parameters show us is that our ego is NOT for how we tend to use it. It simply and truly is not about us as we see our timeline and circumstances! It is about constructing from our existence an eternal identity as someone who recognizes Hashem and yearns to be a transparent reflection of His compassion, unblocking the shadows of falseness we naturally experience so that His Love and Mercy may be seen in this world.
The forces that we feel that we are prone to because we have an ego are very powerful and emotional.
Someone says something. We react and say something back. Now they escalate. Tempers rise. Words are exchanged. The entire segment is a natural back and forth of impulses and forces that are telling us messages we are prone to about honor, respect, value, inclusion, security and the like. Broken down to its component parts, it is sad, mad, bad – I react with a lacking sadness that generates a frustration and anger, and I respond with hurt words, judgments, and attacks. Has either one seen themselves or the other as an emanation from Hashem reflecting His compassion into the world? The blindness leaves us with reactivity.
Take a breath and consider – how quickly did we invest words and emotions and thoughts into a momentary brush that stirred within us forces of nature? And, if we are not in control, have no independent power, and our existence is not essential, is there something else we are intended to do with the forces stirring within us that might be a better choice?
The answer to this question is the beginning of building a mature intelligence about existence and our role in this world as a bridge between heaven and earth.
Are we interested in sophisticated techniques such as money and power of securing the goals of immature intelligence?
Or, are we ready consider that there is a mature intelligence we are meant to develop once we see the futility of securing the universal human aspirations of happiness and joy and peace from the best ideas within immature intelligence?
Are we ready to live more joyous lives in concert with the Creator?
Do we realize that a “yes” to the above means we are interested in using our real free will to in a small microscopic way utilize the tzelem elokim and the real free will that Hashem gives us to emulate Him, to do a G-d-like act and rise above nature in order to be compassionate like He is? The tzelem elokim is a divinely rooted being that is far more powerful than our ego response, but it is up to us to use free will in its service.
We can build a penthouse to our mind, a place of emunah, where we may live with Hashem and from where we may view our lives through the opportunity to make this G-d-like effort.
We can turn our eyes to Hashem and generate love for Him with awe in the design and tell Him that it is our will to return all the coarse material in the forces flowing through us to Him.
We ask that He strip away the dross and restore the pure compassion animating the forces to us in a revealed form, a form where we feel His love and mercy so that we may reveal His love and mercy.
How far way do we feel from this effort? What judgments, scorns, fears, angers, objections and more come to mind? Does it sound like wishful thinking?
If there are any, please take a moment to see if those forces are coming from having had a sad mad bad reaction to what was written above? Does it negate a belief that is working well? If so, take a moment and suspend judgment long enough to consider…am I dismissing something that might actually be more valuable than the sophisticated approach I have developed to deal with these forces? What do I have to lose by considering it? I could always return to my way of dealing with it.
And here lies where we become personally connected, because we often have developed our identities based on our beliefs and patterns of handling life. This is where ideologies can clash.
No one is interested in forcing one ideology onto another, and certainly not to anyone’s detriment. We have real free will. The question is, do we wish to expand our understanding to a truer place, a more joyous, more trustworthy place? Is there an absolute truth?
Everyone is unique. What is being discussed here is that falseness is not unique, and our souls that are made in Hashem’s image are prone to the messages of falseness without our realizing it because it is built into the subconscious mind. The challenge is to expose areas of falseness and to lessen their influence on our choices, not to thrust an ideology against anyone’s will upon them.
What we deem as common sense, our survival instincts, and more may contain something that could use an upgrade.
Inadequacy – we cannot be Hashem. Feeling inadequate in this way is the worst feeling, and it is what we want to avoid for all eternity by making G-d-like choices while alive. In all other areas, we may aspire and ask for Hashem’s help.
Individual will – we are free to choose as we please but not free to thrust our will upon others through hurtful judgments or actions. This includes anything that generates a feeling of inadequacy in another, since feeling inadequate is the root of personal pain.
Hashem’s will – to have a meaningful relationship with His creation, mankind, a being that can recognize and appreciate what Hashem has created in order to give us free will and the opportunity to live for eternity without feeling inadequate in relation to Him because we exercised real free will to rise above our nature and positively impact the world by reflecting His Compassion into our thoughts speech and deeds.
May we see the possibilities and ask Hashem to help us, that we may not know how, but that we are on board with truth enough to begin refining out our subconscious false beliefs.
It is easier to learn all of Torah by heart than it is to correct one character trait.
We see a threat. We forget all the good we have. We lash out. Sad. Mad. Bad. That is basic neurology and we can verify this by watching babies struggling over a toy and having the urge to hit.
When we deviate from our view of how it should be, which is our comfort zone, we complain and may even lash out and do damage. What we are seeing in such a case is the part of our soul that is prone to the survival solutions offered by nature. There is a way to guard our soul so that its goodness can be retained and survival maintained at the same time. It is an upright path to consider because it brings inner joy and eternal closeness with the Source of Compassion.
If we don’t work on our character improvement, we do not change. Gratitude for being alive and for the opportunity to realize that Hashem is in everything is the way to start working on improving our vision of the world. With eyes that see Hashem in everything, we begin to discern the purpose for which Hashem creates mankind…to be a bridge between heaven and earth across which coarse material may be filtered out and then across which Hashem’s compassion may shine into the world.
We need to pray for our growth and learning. We need to review our deeds. This is how we build emunah. We want to change our bad habits, not strengthen them with sophistication of Torah knowledge.
Crying means that we are asleep to the blessings in our lives and brings stern judgment. Because we have free will, Hashem hides more when we choose to believe our own hand can change things.
When we think we know better than Hashem and what He is doing, not only do we feel more upset but it also increases our experience of inadequacy, because we really are not in control. Acting on inadequacy of not being in control brings unhappiness and misses the real opportunity of pushing beyond reason and understanding to make a Gd like effort -with love for Hashem and awe in Hashem – to ask Hashem to remove the coarse veils over His Compassion so that we may feel it and reveal it. That act inoculates us from feeling inadequate for all eternity. This is the purpose for our lifetime, a universal purpose for every living person.
By acknowledging Hashem and realizing that everything is a blessing, we change our view of our lives. In so doing, we see ourselves as creations that He makes, we realize to whom we may turn. We are grateful for our lives, for the opportunity to recognize Hashem in everything.
Everything Hashem does is for the good. When we see that within our challenges is a compassion that may be revealed from the coarseness, we are able to understand how this is so and Hashem helps us. What is the compassion in our horrible challenges? This is the important core idea. All there is in the world is Hashem and He is the only Power. There is no place for that powerful challenge to be sourced other than Hashem. It has a powerful and even mortal impact upon us. However its inner part of the inner part is the essence of the world, Hashem’s compassion. It is coming in a broken vessel. A stern and harsh challenge. However, when we have emunah, we realize our soul is capable of asking Hashem to please give us the compassion in a pure form, that we love Him and understand the design. The dynamic kinesthetic element is the heartfelt emitting of our emunah and our personal prayer. As soon as we do this, we are assuming the role Hashem has created us for, to realize Hashem is the Creator and that we are creations who have free will in order to be able to participate in removing the coarse material so that He may be revealed. We are in truth, and that is the goal of every moment. We are given a lifetime and free will in order to experience a way to go beyond nature and be a giver like Hashem, giving compassion, walking in truth.
We cannot judge ourselves based on our identity in the way that we wish to be perceived. Instead, understand that our true identity is the light we emit when we thank Hashem for everything and recognize His compassion and power and we beseech Hashem to give us the compassion so that we may feel it so that we may reveal it. In so doing, we remove what is blocking us, our false beliefs, our subjective weaknesses that have attracted where we are prone to error to make mistakes and cause damage. In many cases, the challenge is our own soul that has repeatedly, from being prone to a mistake, become captivated in a thought pattern that we are battling. We may literally be battling with the power of our own soul enlivening the challenge. This is how teshuva helps. We restore our own soul to its true compassionate state.
As we grow in understanding this process and we see that we are a divinely rooted being greater than our first understanding that the body and soul are intertwined with the consciousness of the natural reactions alone, we grow in inner simcha. We have a new perspective on what Hashem wants from us in the moment. We realize we are a bridge across which Hashem sends us coarse material to transfer and to reveal compassion. That is our greater and primary functioning.
May no one be given a challenge that is hurtful or painful or mortal. However, and may no one’s emunah be tested, every moment of life is an opportunity to emit light and create our eternal identity as having remembered Hashem while we have free will.
The beautiful truth about our urges is that when we view them from a place of emunah, we are being given access to a strength that can be transformed into a blessing.
The operative phrase is – when we view them from a place of emunah. In our mind, know there is Hashem, there is no other Power, and He is one. In our heart, we love You Hashem and we understand the design, that we are to perform this spiritual photosynthesis of removing coarse material so that You may be revealed. I wish to guard my soul from negativity, to feel Hashem with me, to live as the tzelem elokim in harmony with Your compassion.
Look at the difference between:
“I just want to stay in bed, I am feeling so lazy,” and at the same time feeling irresponsible.
“I just want to stay in bed, I am feeling so lazy, Hashem please take the dose of misguided compassion in the strong feelings of irresponsibility and give it to me as felt compassion and a blessing to help me arise and serve You.”
“I judge so and so as having…… and I am reacting to that ……….. and I feel badly about myself or the other person and having a lashing out thought that……..”
“I judge so and so as having…..and I am reacting to that…….and I ask that the strength of the negative feelings about myself or the other person be turned into a pure compassion that sends a healing to the other as well as to myself. Please Hashem take the compassion from the raw elements of my reaction and distill it so that I may send blessings and light and receive healing for the part of me that is prone to connect to negativity. I just want to be close to You.”
“I feel so tired, I don’t have energy, and I don’t want to do this important task that needs to be done today.”
“I feel so tired and unmotivated and it is sapping me from having energy. Hashem please take the strength of the tiredness (self-directed compassion) and give me the compassion animating the tiredness so that I have the energy to get this task done.”
If we realize that through our urges we are being sent compassion, would we make the extra effort needed to extract that compassion and refine it for good? We can go beyond reason and understanding and ask Hashem for this, when we have emunah!
The drives and urges we have often seem important to listen to. We feel them. And we give in, thinking we are “taking care of ourselves, and this is who we are and what we need.” If we rise upward in our thinking to our emunah, and we look again at the urges, these are gold nuggets of compassion that can be refined into pure blessings. It all depends on our belief about who we are – are we the body that feels it must tread carefully and consider as important our feedback system? Or do we realize that the body is a wick that can produce beautiful light when we keep Hashem in the picture? We are souls with a body. Our soul is an amazing divinely rooted creation that is at all time connected to Hashem and ready and willing to do His Will. But our beliefs can block its voice, shutting it out, forcing it to serve the body.
Developing emunah takes hisbodidus, prayer, cheshbon hanefesh and learning. Yet we can add a penthouse in our mind that can benefit our body as well as bring light to our lives and the world.
We have real free will. Find out who we really are – from our own unique toiling – and we will find out who mankind was designed to be.
We are one.
Our uniqueness does not come from the veils – the raw material – we feel that block our soul.
Our uniqueness comes from our effort to transform the use of the veils and bodily nature – strengthening them and giving them eternal value by making them transparent and aligned with Hashem – and emit light.
It is up to us.
Go below ego to emes.
Go beyond reason and understanding to shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echads
Go past the constriction from which we retreat like a hot stove top, intimidated by its messages. Do this with emunah that, like bumpy waves for a water skier, there is a place of peace and warmth waiting for us to open the door.
The urge to turn and run (like the sign entering the enchanted forest in the Wizard of Oz that says I’d go back if I were you…) is a bodily reaction that is listening to nature, which may not be the true reality. Do a litmus test…is there a real survival issue or just some big waves? If there is no survival issue and the urge continues, find the false message that is generating the urge. These two facts point to the source generating the message to turn and run as the yetzer hara.
In today’s day, who would think that we would have to challenge such natural thoughts and urges? It seems to require an examination within the subconscious where the cards are held too close to our chest to peak into them.
Be empowered by knowing that we only need to will to go beyond reason and understanding to pierce the heavens with our yearning for help in opening our hearts to receive Hashem’s revealed compassion in the place of darkness.
What it takes is a sincere heart, a heart that truly trusts that Hashem is One and that there is No Other Power. No matter how it seems, it is coming from Him, designed for us, to use our free will, to choose to love Him and have awe in the design, so that we may be like Hashem in going above nature. We go above nature when we WILL to go beyond reason and understanding and ask Hashem to restore all the strength as revealed compassion so that we may reveal it.
If we do this even once, we break the false belief that our bodily urges tell us – fight or flight. We can have an objective revelation of Hashem’s love in the very same place as that strong and painful hurt response. The power that is propelling the pain, without the dross, is compassion. Hashem can separate the dross and unify all the sanctity and restore it to our hearts in a way that we feel it. And as a result, our ego will fade in its demands, calling to us without compelling us. We grow in real free will. We become a mikvah for negativity to come to be healed and the resultant compassion housed in our hearts. Hashem, we want YOU, we are connected to YOU, we want to remove everything that is blocking YOU from being revealed, we are willing to do this spiritual work over and over again, improving the elements that emit through our actions. We live in our emunah. We have bodies and lives. Please may we see each other in this light and realize we are one soul and thereby not collapse under the forces that naturally divide and destroy and from the shock of the long galus.