Teshuva and forgiveness. Creating an arousal from below. There is No Glory other than Hashem!! He is King


We start selichos today  In so doing we call upon Hashem’s 13 Attributes of Mercy.  Hashem glorifies us with a soul that is made in His Image.  We are asking Him for forgiveness.  Let us, as part of emulating Him, consider that as we do teshuva, consider the tremendous impact our forgiveness can have.

In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. – Words of Anne Frank relevant for today

Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.

People will always follow a good example; be the one to set a good example, then it won’t be long before the others follow..


I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains… My advice is : “Go outside, to the fields, enjoy nature and the sunshine, go out and try to recapture happiness in yourself and in God. Think of all the beauty that’s still left in and around you and be happy!”


“In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death. I see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness, I hear the ever approaching thunder, which will destroy us too, I can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again.”


The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As long as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles. Wednesday, 23 February 1944


  • How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before beginning to improve the world.
    • As quoted in God’s To-do List: 103 Ways to be an Angel and Do God’s Work on Earth (2007) by Ron Wolfson, Introduction, p. 17

The Diary (1942 – 1944)

Composed from her 13th birthday on 12 June 1942, until 1 August 1944, just prior to her family’s capture.


I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too, I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that this cruelty too shall end, and that peace & tranquility will return once again.



I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to people, even those I’ve never met. I want to go on living even after my death! And that’s why I’m grateful to God for having given me this gift, which I can use to develop and to express all that’s inside me!

  • For someone like me, it is a very strange habit to write in a diary. Not only that I have never written before, but it strikes me that later neither I, nor anyone else, will care for the outpouring of a thirteen year old schoolgirl.
  • Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!
  • A “food cycle” is a period in which we have only one particular dish or type of vegetable to eat. For a long time we ate nothing but endive. Endive with sand, endive without sand, endive with mashed potatoes, endive-and-mashed-potato casserole…
  • Forgive me, Kitty, they don’t call me a bundle of contradictions for nothing!
  • God never deserted our people. Right through the ages there were Jews. Through the ages they suffered, but it also made us strong.

I don’t believe that the big men, the politicians and the capitalists alone are guilty of the war. Oh, no, the little man is just as keen, otherwise the people of the world would have risen in revolt long ago! There is an urge and rage in people to destroy, to kill, to murder, and until all mankind, without exception, undergoes a great change, wars will be waged, everything that has been built up, cultivated and grown, will be destroyed and disfigured, after which mankind will have to begin all over again. May 3, 1944

  • I believe that in the course of the next century [as dated from June 13, 1944] the notion that it’s a woman’s duty to have children will change and make way for the respect and admiration of all women, who bear their burdens without complaint or a lot of pompous words!
  • I don’t want to have lived in vain like most people. I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to people, even those I’ve never met. I want to go on living even after my death! And that’s why I’m grateful to God for having given me this gift, which I can use to develop and to express all that’s inside me!
  • I have often been downcast, but never in despair; I regard our hiding as a dangerous adventure, romantic and interesting at the same time. In my diary I treat all the privations as amusing. I have made up my mind now to lead a different life from other girls and, later on, different from ordinary housewives. My start has been so very full of interest, and that is the sole reason why I have to laugh at the humorous side of the most dangerous moments.
  • I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too, I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that this cruelty too shall end, that peace and tranquility will return once more. (Saturday 15th of July, 1944)
  • I soothe my conscience now with the thought that it is better for hard words to be on paper than that Mummy should carry them in her heart.
  • If I read a book that impresses me, I have to take myself firmly by the hand, before I mix with other people; otherwise they would think my mind rather queer.
  • Is discord going to show itself while we are still fighting, is the Jew once again worth less than another? Oh, it is sad, very sad, that once more, for the umpteenth time, the old truth is confirmed: “What one Christian does is his own responsibility, what one Jew does is thrown back at all Jews.”
  • It’s difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It’s a wonder I haven’t abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart. I simply can’t build my hopes on a foundation of confusion, misery, and death. I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too, I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that this cruelty too shall end, and that peace & tranquility will return once again.
    • 15 July 1944; Variant translations:
    • It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.
    • I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.
    • I simply can’t build my hopes on a foundation of confusion, misery, and death…and yet…I think…this cruelty will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again.
  • Laziness may appear attractive but work gives satisfaction.
  • However, during the third class he’d finally had enough. “Anne Frank, as punishment for talking in class, write an essay entitled, Quack, Quack, Quack, Said Mistress Chatterback.”
    • Writing a story about a teacher who is scolding her for being talkative in class. Variant translations :

Quack, Quack, Quack, Said Miss Quackenbush.

Quack, Quack, Quack, Said Miss Natterbeak.

  • Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.
  • People can tell you to keep your mouth shut, but it doesn’t stop you having your own opinions. Even if people are still very young, they shouldn’t be prevented from saying what they think.
  • People will always follow a good example; be the one to set a good example, then it won’t be long before the others follow… How lovely to think that no one need wait a moment, we can start now, start slowly changing the world! How lovely that everyone, great and small, can make their contribution toward introducing justice straightaway… And you can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness!
  • The only way to truly know a person is to argue with them. For when they argue in full swing, then they reveal their true character.
  • We all live with the objective of being happy, our lives are all different and yet the same.
  • Who would ever think that so much went on in the soul of a young girl?
  • I’ve found that there is always some beauty left — in nature, sunshine, freedom, in yourself; these can help you. Look at these things, then find yourself again, and God, and then you regain your balance.
    And whoever is happy will make others happy too. He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery!

    • Variant translation: Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.
  • I trust to luck and do nothing but work, hoping that all will end well.

Toolbox, with chart including correspondences to four cups of wine, submission separation sweetening, Tomer Devorah and more

Click here to print the chart below: toolbox with correspondences

the chart is intended to give us a rock solid Torah basis to help counter the doubts the yetzer hara wants to draw us off with.  In order to be able to reflect Hashem’s 13 attributes into  the world and grow and strengthen ourselves as tzelem elokim, we need to be able to make it over the rocky terrain that is inevitable in struggling with life, by design.  that struggle , our effort to triumph torah prayer and emulating hashem over the natural urges, is the functioning that nourishes the universe and liberates the Shechina from the galus He agrees to be in here in worldly matters in order to give us real free choice.  thus making sure we have built our intellect and our vessel with Torah understanding helps us have a way to catch the light coming from both a positive or negative direction.  We will discuss the chart more tomorrow at www.arousalfrombelow.com





Four cups of wine Correspond in seder Meaning of the cup of wine Submission separation sweetening Sefirot Powers Level of soul Six constant mitzvahs Hashem’s Name Hashem’s Attributes of Mercy Ten commandments Toolbox
  1. “I will take you out…”
  1. Salvation from harsh labor—this began as soon as the plagues were introduced.
submission Keser/Chochma Love Chaya Know there is Hashem yud tolerating insults I am Hashem, Who Took you out; experience negative reaction
  1. “I will save you…”
read story of exodus from haggada
  1. Salvation from servitude; or the day the Jews left Egypt geographically and arrived at Ramses.
separation Bina Awe Neshama No Other Power /Hashem Echad k overlooking faults There is no other power, no idolatry; Do not take Hashem’s Name in vain Cry out to Hashem to cling to Torah, prayer and emulating Him, and glue imagination to 13 attributes
  1. “I will redeem you…”
grace after meals
  1. The splitting of the sea, after which the Jews felt completely redeemed, without fear of the Egyptians recapturing them.
Expand through loving hashem to do acts that reflect his Chesed and stop out of awe of Hashem what emotions are blocking us from doing so, then expand into a plan of action endurance to reflect Hashem’s light and stop every habit that we have that would put the crown on our head instead; experience the calmness and clarity of being in line and bonded to Hashem’s attributes ( Yesod) will taanug emunah ruach love of Hashem/awe of Hashem vav bearing the burden of confusion of mind and forgiving Remember sabbath;Honor your parents,do not kill;do not commit adultery; do not steal; do not bear false witness Hashem is the Source of all good and vitality; use free will to use faithfulness (emunah) to reorganize passion to torah, prayer and emulating Him
  1. “I will take you as a nation…”
  1. Becoming a nation at Sinai.
sweetening Malchus bitul/shifless nefesh Guard the soul from straying k casting sins into the sea do not covet respond with calmness and clarity reflecting Hashem’s light into the world


Real free will – what does it mean in terms of who we are or can be?

When we are growing up, our lives as dependents mean that we are under the authority of our parents, our Rebbeim, our teachers and more.. Through these relationships, we learn a great deal about boundaries, acceptable and ideal conduct. In a very real way, because we are truly dependent upon these figures for our maintenance and development, how we look in their eyes matters to us and we form ourselves to conform to their expectations and values. The goal is for the role models and figures in our lives to help us internalize into the personality and value system ways of interacting with the world that reflect into the world an image that can lead to a happy life.


Thus forms something very valuable – our intellect and our ego. These are necessary parts of our existence. Torah comes to show us, though, that as crucial as these are, the overall purpose and goal of being in this world is to serve Hashem and provide a dwelling place in our hearts for Hashem so that He can be seen in time and space. Here we see something very important.


Our lives as we live them on a moment to moment basis are 100 percent in time and space. However, our soul as it exists on a moment to moment basis is also in a higher world connected to Hashem’s name, rooted in the upper yud, the world of Atzilus where the soul of Nishmas Am Yisrael was formed before the world ever existed. What, then, is the proportionality of our existence? What percentage of our identity does intellect and ego compose and what percentage of our identity does tzelem elokim rooted in atzilut compose?



As we experience it, we are pretty much only in touch with our thoughts and feelings in this world. Without Torah, we would probably say that the proportionality is 99% intellect/ego oriented and somewhere there is a 1% that hopefully will manage to get its needs met so we can go to heaven after 120 years. Torah teaches us something much different though.


The whole purpose of being alive is to break our nature. If we feel 99% attached to an identity of our nature, how are we going to break our nature? It feels too hard, too much like we would hurt ourselves in even trying. And without Torah, our tendency would be that the voice of the inner critic, the messages we internalized when dependent upon others that may have associated with feelings of being embarrassed or not good enough or not lovable enough or whatever stormy emotions we reacted with because of the imperfections of our role models and teachers, would now continue to try to shape us up, to teach us, to get us to improve. If we had healthy shaping, that might help a great deal. If we had unhealthy shaping, we might really become self-abusive. But regardless, there is an entirely different perspective that Torah suggests for us, and that is to see our naturally developed self not as our identity but as the place that our behira point is set.

sun above thunderclouds

We have real free will. We have an amazing gift of being made in the image of Hashem. Hashem glorifies us with a tzelem elokim that has the capacity to bring healing to every part of our thoughts and emotions. It is designed to bring us what we need to triumph over our natural urges and rectify our hearts in order that Hashem have a dwelling place within us.

The tool with which we do the work of free will is intellect and imagination. When we perceive things, our intellect begins scanning to discern what is going on and asking where the imagination should attach in order to bring into speech and deed a response. What the intellect chooses, then, brings it into the mind and then through the heart and into the world. Our free will point is that choice of what the intellect will select – will it be something connected to Torah, praying fervently to Hashem or emulating Hashem’s attributes , thereby assuring that our imagination is being filled with absolute truth, or will it be something connected to lower urges, invariably resulting in falsehoods that cannot avoid some sort of output of damage, either to ourselves, the world, or others.

pirates-chest-crane-redemption-game-smart-industries grabberThe_Claw_Candy_Grabber_Arcade_Machine


To see everything we relate to as “me” as a smaller proportion to a larger “me” is something Torah teaches us. To see that we are beings that create positive or negative influence based on those choices is something else that Torah teaches us.


In earlier times, people learned that using rivers and lakes for water and for relieving themselves led to disease. Perhaps that analogy can help us understand better what happens when our intellect grasps onto a thought that is not absolute truth and brings it into our deeds. What we say and do create spiritual entities, either positive or negative. Hashem sustains the negative beings patiently bearing their discomfort awaiting our teshuva, which then removes that spiritual being or, if we do teshuva with love, turns it into a positive being. The point is that what we say and do leave more than an imprint in the minds of those we affect. What we say and do creates beings that we are responsible for and that Hashem may use in His conduct of maintaining the world. In His Kindness, Hashem reminds us through bringing to our attention in our reactions areas where He suggests we bring rectifications to our natural urges. Where our natural urges reside, His Attributes of Mercy are blocked from entering. He desires our hearts. Thus when we experience a stormy day or emotion, it is fair to ask ourselves where have we identified with the natural responses and how might we make our sense of autonomy more porous in order to permit our tzelem elokim that got trapped there in its search for happiness to return its search for happiness to the absolute source of finding happiness, which is in learning Torah, praying fervently to Hashem for what we want and need, and emulating His attributes of mercy. Notice that blame and shame of the natural urges is what is natural and, if we are very damaged or have not developed the Torah understandings in a way that we can grasp onto them in the moment, automatic. That does not change that we have real free will and that there IS a behira point, a free will point, that with reflection and speaking it out to Hashem in verbal introspection, can come into focus.


Hashem helps us with this, but it might not be right away that we have the breakthroughs that ultimately give us a real shift, a new natural of reflecting His Attributes in the world. Nevertheless, each time we make an effort and ask Him to help us, we form a spiritual being that is there with us to help us the next time that behira point comes up and eventually we are able to make great progress, taking what might seem like a ball of knots and one at a time, unknotting our identity from the externally formed but internally experienced definitions of who we are. At some point, a ball of knots becomes a little looser, and then the ball expands and we become closer and closer to straightening out the threads of thoughts for our life into something that can lead in a direct path towards connection and devekus to Hashem.

knotted string

May our effort to do so with love in our hearts show Hashem that we love Him and recognize our role as Nishmas Am Yisrael and desire greatly to cleave to Torah and His Attributes so as to reflect into the world His Light. And may Hashem create an arousal from above that will dispel more darkness and bring us to redemption.

Rabbi Yaakov Zalman Labinsky – Elul and Ani Ledodi vDodi Li – it is all about love, how to bring it into our marriages

Rough unedited notes:

When we talk about elul there is one essential word, love is in the air. We are closing up new year, the plane is getting ready to land, the runway of its destination, we are closing up one year, to reflect back on 12 months, and everything we have done and haven’t done, and everythuung we are aspiring and perspiring to, to get a bigger perspective. It is the closing point of the whole year.


Our eyes are looking forward to 5775 new challenges and opportunities . it is a timely way to bridge our reality, in closing and beginning.


With that koach of transition and bridging realities, it is love and fear that is the bridge. Ani ledodi is an expression of love. We have love all year. But love in here is an extra infusion of divine love in the air right now, and we can tap in deeply conceptually and practically and direct it back to HKB. Any time you are transitioning from good to better and you break out of your complacency, it involves risk taking, uncertainties, courage and hulity, to go to a bolder place and Hashem does his part


As lofty as we think we are, we strive. The fuel is love and fear. With love you can do more, grow higher and for HKB in this world. Wherever your feeling of ove is that is the fuel power. Ani ledodi is dare to love me greater, expand to draw closer and perceive me more and feel my presence in Your life. How can we systematically expand our capacity for being loving and being loved.


We all know we need to be loved and valued. In pirke avos, the sixth mishna says we love and be loved, we love others first. When we initiate that love, we have to do it in a mutual sharing more dynamic way. The more we grow in that capacity, it is an amazing place of pleasure and joy. Fear is the foundation but love is the house.


I an the beloved, latzmo   chaverio is not the starting point even though we are instructed to love our feelow and ani hashem.. so do we start with the other or ourself. Let’s make it right to the point. Ideally we want to start with ourselves. I have to love first and then I can be loved back. But a relationship to oneself, in trust is abstract. It is hard to relate to oneself as relating to others. When we are by ourselves we are in a relationship with ourselves, bonding with our soul . the more natural realm of connecting to komocha, by interpersonal, you can use that relatiionshp to become divine and reflect back into latzma.


In the pupil is an actual mirror image of you in their eyes. In the intimate part of looking into each other’s soul you can see in an inner way your quality, to love yourself. In the most purest way, the latzmo is first. Extend out to your spouse and then to HKB. That is awaking from below.   From above it is from HKB to self and up.


If you are tangible, you may need chomocha first. If intangible, latzmo first.


We will start in the purest way, if you want love and respect from others you have to deeply love and give respect first.   I am my beloved to the shechina,. Hashem is constant and with us all around. To what extent do we perceive. The rochel and leahs he is with us all the time. To what extent is our soul open to receiving, conceiving and perceiving something else   the more we want to beomce divine and taste our divinity, the more we will return and deeply return and to reveal the shechina and attach to this world and back to HKB. If we toil enough we will come to see it is always as strong as the weakest link. Ultimately in truth when you join to the shechina you are part of it and there is no I. I am not standing on my own. The elokus is hashem in me that He lets me use. When I join to my beloved it is really all Him, . my spouse too, we are also Hashem, we are a divine union a presence of HKB in this world. We see love within truth is the basis for our own drive. The deeper to develop love the more we strive to grow and capacity we have to do teshuva. The more we can make more space for Hashem in this world nd in your life and marriage.


There are different ways to define love. The one we can use in the most prolific way. Love is based on the virtues of a person. It is the core spiritual emotion when they take time to identify, acknowelge and communicate the virtues of another. It involves the capacity to give, to look at them, to study them, to break them down as a scientist who understands what they are seeing, and how to play it in the greater way, to understand the multilayered nature of another. We start with self, but if it is too hard, start with spouse and fold back into self. See a virtue or a midda, a virtue in its pure form is a value, with a divine origin, being goodly or gdly Hashem’s true priority in this world   the more we see the virtue in ourselves we develop love for ourselves so we don’t underestimate ourselves. You may have a dominant virtue, like color of the eyes. The only part of the eye that varies is the iris, it has one of six colors like the 6cm, a dominant color. We see ourselves as dynamic, even though we have overt traits. We love that part of ourselves, loving HKB, as a means to love the gdly part of us back to Him. A virtue doesn’t lie. It doesn’t manipulate, it has no secondary agenda. It doesn’t have ego based needs at based. The yetzer hara wants to look good in others eyes, appear good rather than find the intrinsic good. It is easier, to manipulate the outside world. If we get the outside world to buy in and give us approval, we don’t have to do the hard work of delving into our virtues for kavod shemayim. The yetzer hara wants the short path of least resistance. Manipulate the externals. It is much easier. Bu tif I identify a virtue in myself, it is not that I did a good thing, a good midda, for a virtue to be virtue it has to have regularity. You cant wrap a momentary blast from a long time ago. That is counterfeit. It is not a moment of divine glory and rest there for the rest of our lives. We continually chose to hone and develop them. That is the image part


Each one of us is made up of emes sheker, we use free will to refine out the higher part. To do something not for the sake of heaven we can come to do it for the sake of heaven. Hashem built into us a self serving starting point. Even if our love for ourselves is mostly external. There is nothing shameful about that or for the spouse. Love is the emotion to idenity the love and virtues of others, the only way to get to lishma, kavod shemayim, is through the shelo lishma. If you think there is a helicopter up, the pinnacle, no. you will crash all the way down. Start at the bottom and climb up rung by rung. Start with self oriented. Rabbi dessler qualifies this chazal, the only way to get self serving interest leads to doing something altruistically is if you have the intention at the beginning of the endeavor. If you do something for them because of what they do for you, external, start there but it isn’t the whole picture. If you keep refining your motivation. Even though the majority of ten karat gold, over half the elements of gold are other impurities, but has it gets refined it goes up. You remove the self serving, self referencing, and as you move out through borer you get left behind more lishma, divine oriented action. Your virtues. It is an endless process.


That becomes the most important thing in how to bridge this gap.. we are created with an ego to rework and refine and shift perspective from external to internal and more about Hashem. Each time we do that you get a little more focused and refined with right motivations and actions. It takes a lifetime to refine it. We come to love ourselves less than we do for others, love ourselves for the virtues we have and who we are, and we love ourselves not just for what we do or who we are, we love ourselves because we are a spark of the divine because there is no you, you are a part of HKB. If you need to start with others first, you need both approaches. You need yourself, and others, and makom, others to see where you are holding in your own love and how to extend it out to others.


Our spouses are a spark of the divine themselves. Study them with a sharp eye, objectivity and truth, the consistency of their patterns, their behaviors, the longevity of what see. They have virtues, it might look goodly, but that is cover for being Gdly in disguise, it is the hidden way they are expressing it.


Don’t just say I love you. The nonverbal must be reinforced with speech, in general and specific. The more details, not to little profound and deep, just the right measure that you will hear and they will feel loved and want to love back and see the virtue in themselves and connect to your own virtue. The love is awoken in them, either from us to spouses or to HKB our virtues run very deep..   whatever the virtue we perceive it is based on action. But if we delve in, it is eternal. There is no end of limit to develop love for oneself and HKB that creates capacity to grow, heal, do teshuva and right intentions to purify intentions and we are the ones that cap the degree of ….there is a 20 foot ceiling there is no limit to how much we can love and be loved by others. That is how the shechina joins above. From there the world becomes a gdly world. That is how we get out of geula, exile to redemption. It is there we have greatest meaning and pleasure. If we don’t we diminish hashem’s love for humanity and creation. What He has endowed us with and the profoundity of love in its pure form can conquer anything, the most overwhelming suffering, inconsolable, your love consquered everything and is meant to be out in this world


Elul love is in the air, to extend the profoundity for our ability …emanating and receiving, in loving or being loved, we explore it, we expose the counterfeit parts and stretch with pure will to extend out, we can generate a new relationship. That means hashem wants us to refine and get more real with it in ratzon dayos and middos, perceiving it correcting and internalizing it, to stribve to be closer to hKB and see a transformation. We are capable of it.


At this time we are trying to perceive things differenty, we have to want to see them in a gdly way and their potential. Secondly, shift our perspective as well as the potential that is there. There is a sense of freshness and renewal, we have a fresh eye. When you are stuck in something, step back, turn it over to HKB, I cant do anymore, I am blind, only YOU can allow me to see, come back with a fresh perspective. That is what we want to understand in elul. We want to come back with fresh eyes, ignore all perceptions, don’t go to interprentations and old patterns. Have fresh eyes, tap into that in elul and with really fresh eyes, look at their divinity they have developed and impose it to their scenario. Acceptance, is part. Active acceptance is for what it is now but if I give proper divine love and value I can know it will change . absolutely. That is active acceptance. That is what fresh eyes will do. We are in elul, two weeks away. Connect to the renewal. The abiity to begin again now, a fresh renewal, another way to perceive them. As you feel fresher and better, you will see them in a better and higher. Leah is diamond in the dung. Focus on the diamond inside. Active acceptance but extract in imagination what that diamond could look like. Give it an image, a shape, a color, hold a place for potential divinity for that it is there and it can come out in actuality, we help nurture and foster it out. If they exist they are in divine image and they have a whole array of divine attributes. It doesn’t matter, it is still there. On the news there are famiies that treasure hunt in the ocean, as a family. The midda I appreciated about them is they are unified that there is something there even though you can’t see it, to measure something below the surface and the riches are incredible. They found a treasure two hundred years old. There are treasures below the surface and we can find it.


Toil for that hidden treasure. You know He created the world, develop the map and sonar to find the vibrations and excavate, no matter how thick the leah or deep. Yaakov created that, we have to plug into it. HKB put a hidden treasure in husband’s leah. The deeper something is buried the greater the treasure. Someone found three cases of napolian champagne it was a few million dollars of champagne. The nimshal is that hashem put incredible treasures but it can be dug up. It is not inaccessible. Vision, architectural plan, technology, patience to dig it out, protect what is found. Hashem creates it with torah to excavate our spouses through sonar mapping, reveal the hidden territories and nurture with invaluable qualities. Patience is the shouldering of the burden until they can carry it themselves. That is patience. You want it now, the way you think it should be. Who are you to create these expectations. Just like hashem carries us, we are carrying others. We carry the burden of others, feel their pain. The word is the same as marriage, as if we are bound up with them. We are married to each other, intimately bound up with each other, we are married to HKB.


If you cant be marred to spouse correctly, now can you carry their burden. Because you connect to the divine attribute Hahsem is working through you and that achieves the outcomes. We have to trust there is a hidden treasure there and have the emunah to reveal HKB attribute to heal it. You have to know knowledge with faith ad trust that hashem put divine treasure in spouse.  It is hashem’s love through us. Align your attributes at the level back to Hashem so Hashem can work through you back to your spouse.   At that moment, there is no power. If you think Hashem cant heal your spouse that is apikorses. It is not impossible. Hashem designs every soul. No one has clarity on anyone else’s soul. We perceive little bits. Hashem sees all and we excavate, through proper patience, and He tainas on us. We stop way to early. We have to believe in the power of love and emes. Even where hopeless and desperate, in hashem’s eyes everything is possible and doable.


We don’t want to be that divine, we don’t want to have to be that responsible. Nothing is impossible. It radically changes our hashkafa all of the time.


We show credence, the midda is how it expresses themselves in an action oriented way. You need right perspective that spouse is most important person or we cant develop love for self. Otherwise we see what did he do for me. The spouse is the other half of me. Then we don’t love them that way because we don’t love ourselves that way. Internalize it in a midda.


Q do you have a source on the eye color

RL arizal, chassidus there is a lot in that, each part of the eye corresponds to shem havaya


Q practically, if I am trying to love myself and hearing a critical voice

RL write it down. Pick one midda like critical, objectively. Pick a midda, talk about how yoou act on it and see it objectively like a scientist. If someone did this, would they be a chessedic person? Ask others. Then five to ten times a day of doing it cfreats a midda of chesed. Now evaluate it. How consistent or good or intentionality, or is self serving, or is what you want to give. It is a virtue. Then you want to objectify it even more, notice when you are doing chesed. Am I doing it because I love them or so that they will love me. Do I want to grant acceptance or seek approval. Develop instruments to assess or ask someone who knows you to evaluate. I want truth. Please tell me without flattery. I countered what they said to see what is real and false and they said it like it was, including where I was not holding. Give me examples and they did, they were true friends. It iwas a great way to heal. If you have one or two people in your life, someone who loves and sees you, ask them to give you objective proof.



Look at middos of Hashem how He runs the world. Kindnesses and mercies, gave us way more in abundance. Even din is merc within judgment.


Core leahs are difficult painful troubled and cursed really possess the spiritual correction. Dovid hanelech praised hashem for that too. Everyting is good. We want to stand on our own that we don’t need anybody but we need Hashem.


Our love is the heart of Klal Yisrael. That is how big our love is. They need all our love and we need theirs. It is not self serving. It is because we want to deepy bring hashem’s glory into the world. We are vehicles and conduits. Everything can be healed, uplifted, no matter what because HKB is above everything and he can reveal that space in this world. Inspiring way to look at elul


All you need is love, based on Hashem’s essence . tap into divine love correctly we have the ability to bring shemayim into the world. We are ego based and self oriented. We want to diminish and express love for hashem and others. Yes we can do it all year round but there is a special divine merit to do it in greater proportionality. Even if yu are doing it for self oriented experiences, do it as a midda, gradually purify your intentions and actions. Love is a choice. Being in a relationsip is a choice. Returning to hashem is a choice. Bringing kavod shemayim is a choice. Over coming nature is a choice. But we have to keep expandeing . anything is possible. Set eyes high and grow close to HKB humanity, fellow Jew and ourselves and our next year is being judged by that.


We go through examples and how to develop in self and spouse and have greater capacity. We can do things that are unimaginable. Give it a shot or opporutinty