The ego of a person is the image that we hold of ourselves based on our development in time and space.
When the image we hold of ourselves is not reflected back to us by others, the natural reaction is to feel insulted or disrespected. This lack is where the yetzer hara can easily drag us to the pursuit of honor which could mean taking actions that are very destructive and hurtful, in words or deeds or both.
Building emunah is to rescue ourselves from the intertwined natural experience of ego bruising with honor. It is crucial because conducting ourselves for our own honor is in contrast to the truth, that all glory is Hashem’s. That said, it is by design and how Hashem gives us real free will – how will we use our life force, to assert our glory or His? Torah teaches us that our true esteem is based on understanding our role in redirecting this energy to demonstrate at all times our commitment to reflect Hashem’s 13 attributes of mercy into the world, that being the basis for joining with His constant light. Hashem is One. There is no other. The pain of ego bruising is a part of us that is attracted to the temptation to think otherwise because we have to refine our characteristics (the sefiros) to unblock draws towards self so well that we can distinguish what is going on and redirect and open screens so that the pure love and healing and blessings coming to the world through His sefiros, the 13 attributes, comes through unblocked by our subjective experience.
The reality of our physical makeup as a soul in a body with an ego that gets bruised are the setting alone, and without the simple understanding of Hashem’s existence and unity, we cannot help but confuse honor with ego reaction. This is the Amalek within that we need to dissolve and obliterate. Therefore Hashem gives us a Torah and specifically tells us the mitzvah of destroying this natural bonding of desire and passion that combine into a sense of honor that is cold to caring about the pain of the Shechina trapped in it.
Here is how to use those moments to build our eternal identity based on Torah and refine ourselves so as to conduct ourselves as being made in the image of Hashem’s 13 attributes of mercy (Hashem does not have an ego and ego reactions therefore are irrelevant to any goal to emulate Him).
- The natural self including the ego need appreciation, love and value in order to avoid feeling bruised. This is normal but should be viewed only as a kindness to give to help everyone’s day run smoothly, without added emotional challenges.
- When our ego is bruised either for an objectively real or subjectively real event, having the clear understanding of Hashem’s existence is the place to go in our mind and doing so immediately tells hashem that we recognize and accept the task He desires for us to do in this moment.
- We can build our eternal identity and sense of real esteem through an inner dialogue.
- Yes I understand there is no appreciation or value being given here. However this has come about reveals that the Shechina is trapped in all of us.
- Reassure ourselves by saying, receiving love and appreciation is an ego desire but does not form our real identity, which is made in the image of Hashem’s 13 attributes of mercy.
- With all the emotional charge that is being experienced inside and in whomever performed the triggering event, what we are seeing is shechina that is trapped in the darkness and grossness of natural world. Inside everything is pure light and with my fervent prayer Hashem Echad I ask that Hashem please use all of the energy only for healing and blessings and merits because in so doing I am yearning only for the revelation of Hashem’s glory in the world. Hashem creates the world in order to eventually reveal His Glory. All Glory is Hashem’s.
Once we have done this effort, whatever action we take will hopefully reflect something into the world through which Hashem will choose to bring healing, blessings, merit and ultimately the revelation of His Glory in the world, may it be today.