Category Archives: GdConsciousness

There is only One yet it feels like two. Please help me unify with You.

Short version of pictorial guided meditation to bring Hashem into the picture and reveal compassion

audio only version of short version.  Please be sure to notice and name the emotional storms, observing them without fully thinking them and getting lost in them

Hashem, please help me grow in my ability to discern day from night.

Hashem You made one soul – Adom.  I am part of Your creation.

Hashem You have given me awareness, with free will and the creative power of speech. 


When I feel Your Compassion, I have expanded understanding from which to act.

Help me bring Hashem back into the picture, to restore a sense of Hashem as One.

I know You only doing what is for the very best.

I feel vulnerable, and I do not want the yetzer hara   to have access to my soul. 

It is giving me untrue survival messages and whispers false messages.

 (notice and name… be specific)

I feel empowered to ask for more free will to overcome the blockages causing an emotional storm because I wish to do Your Will and go beyond the natural faulty reasoning within me.

(notice and name… be specific)

My interest is in eternal life, not in the survival of negativity 

(notice and name… be specific)

Help me! 

Please may the love and awe for Hashem that I am generating in my heart reach You. 

Please may I ask that You GRIND THE FASLEHOOD and COARSENESS and thereby I may feel and REVEAL HASHEM’S COMPASSION

This is my opportunity to initiate love and awe out of a yearning to refine coarse material

I embrace the opportunity, excited to do Hashem’s Will,

I yearn to be a conduit, a bridge between worlds

This is my chance to initiate a G-d-Like effort to hopefully redeem the compassion from its powerful natural appearance.

Please help me use free will and speech to emulate You, drawing the good from the dross.

Hashem it is my will to return all the spiritual material to Hashem. 

Please may I have back the lost compassion  with olam haba consciousness restored.

Hashem, the compassion that is Your Effluence is mixed up within coarseness in my heart. 

I am describing it to You because the compassion is lost and I am asking You to please find all of it and return this lost compassion to me with olam haba consciousness. 

 I love You and understand the design.  Please may this causative effort positively affect all the spiritual material within me .

Please grant success to this prayerful request, to my  love for Hashem and awe of the design. 

I wish for these mitzvahs to grind the falsehoods like a  pepper-grinder

I trust in You. I trust in Your Ever-Present Compassion

Hashem please restore all the spiritual energy to its true form, compassion. 

Hashem please may I feel Your compassion so that I may reveal Your Compassion.


All I want is You. With all my heart, all my soul, and all my might.

Please help me go beyond reason and understanding so that I may  return all the spiritual material within me to You in teshuva for tikkun, repair. 

My awareness of Hashem as all good is increasing, I am feeling a shift towards calm.  THANK YOU

May this growth be a merit for all klal Yisrael.

Help me to find a way to reveal compassion.

Please may my efforts be considered a healing.

Please help me take my next step in serving You through speech and deed.

Pictorial meditation tool

What we need to understand in order to strengthen our will for the truth, which is compassion.

The topic for today is strengthening will for the truth, which is compassion.

We have at times circumstances, difficult challenges. Something that happens that crushes our heart.  Our emotions  go into turmoil.  We feel our mind racing.  Our blood is boiling.  Our heads feel light. Our mouth begins to want to speak words that we might regret.

We may, indeed, need to say something.

Take a moment though to go beyond what is swirling to touch the real truth, which is compassion.

How is this compassion?

There is no thought, no emotion, no inanimate object, no plant, no animal, no person that does not have as its inner soul compassion.  The reason is that the place of the world is Hashem, Whose Compassion fills every utterance, in which He and His Compassion are hidden.

Even more so, the very powerful emotions and thoughts that we experience are most likely our very own soul that we bonded together with a false thought, a bad habit, or which got bonded together with a hurtful memory or trauma. Thus, the soul of what is hurting us is powered by our own soul and choices.

Let’s take a closer look still to the soul – our soul.  There has only ever been one soul created.  Every person who ever lived or who is alive or who ever will live is a blossom on that one soul.  Each of us, with our timeline, our circumstances, our bodies, our experiences – all of which are under the direct supervision of Hashem – has awareness and real free will and the creative power of speech.  With these gifts of awareness, free will and speech, our soul has the power to shine through whatever coarse material Hashem is giving us to refine.  We have the opportunity to draw the compassion from the coarse material by using our free will to speak to Hashem, describing where the matter is mixed, and asking for all of the spiritual positive energy to be restored to its ability to reveal compassion.  We want to be free of the falsehoods that conceal it.  We want the compassion to be itself and not animating what we might have previously and unintentionally or naturally assigned it to by our aveiras, natural urges, bad habits, coping mechanisms, defensiveness, adaptation to trauma or previous poor choices.

At all times, Hashem is with us, He loves us, and He only sends good.  It is up to us to embrace and remember that He only is sending compassion for us to benefit from.  He gives us opportunity to dissolve the coarse material and grab the compassion from there as well. In this way, we have the opportunity of a lifetime to copy what Hashem did in creating the world, sorting the good from the coarse material.  He has left a level of coarseness for us to remove so that WE may have the joy of choosing to be like Him.

“It’s happening again!  Why does everyone treat me like dirt?”  that might be one sign that we are being given a huge load of compassion to redeem.

“I don’t feel that person loves me.  They are not doing x y or z.”  That may be another sign that we are being given an opportunity to redeem compassion and grow in awareness of Hashems lovingkindness.

There is an urge in us that is false.  That false urge, when our backs are to the wall, is to think that we can take something back – a love lost, an image despoiled.  We cannot.  We have no power whatsoever to impact the world at large unless Hashem grants permission.  And yet we try, we take the very compassion of life that Hashem gives us and try to use natural means to grab back what we feel is being taken away.  Acting on such a reaction does not grow us in awareness of Hashem nor does it add any merit to us for perfecting the world.

When we have will for the truth, which is compassion, it means that our will is to be part of the compassion Hashem sends as blessing to the world at all times, to be a part of Him, in the relationship that He Designs for us.  When we go beyond the turmoil of our emotions to tell Hashem that we love Him and understand the design and that we are swirling and know that in all that we feel is His Compassion mixed in with dross, we then ask that He please give all of the positive spiritual creative energy to us in its rectified form so that we feel His love and mercy directly.  We want to reveal compassion.  We want to be a stronger vessel or being a conduit of compassion.

What happens next is that the love and awe that we feel bring a willful drop of olam haba consciousness into the mix and Hashem adds to it and somehow, it affects all of the spiritual energy in the turmoil.  Our mind might race…but but… but we do it again.  There is no room for doubts.  Everything is filled only with Hashem’s simple compassion.  There is no other power. 

Do we still need to say something?  Most likely,  what was dissolved had no basis in fact and there is no need to say anything.  And if we do need to say something, surely it will be toned down and appropriate and solely for the benefit of the other person, said with love and caring in a way that can be heard and felt as love, not criticism or stern judgment.

May we be empowered in the moment, excited, to bring to Hashem what we think and feel so that we may act with ein od milvado consciousness and be part of the blessings in the world. And may we soon see a new light in the world.

Why we want to make every effort to build strong bitachon, a trust we desire that is nearest to our hearts.

Why we want to make every effort to build strong bitachon, a trust we desire that is nearest to our hearts.

When we use free will to speak to Hashem wanting to be close to Him, we are emulating the utterances of Hashem in building the world…we are doing the final borer of separating from a mixture of tov and ra His Compassion. Through our sincere words, He can be revealed because we nullify material and spiritual reality of chitzonios in favor of His Will, with emunah and bitachon.

The inner truth of everything is His Compassion.

When we are in darkness, and we embrace the opportunity to emulate Hashem by recognizing the inner tov to all and asking for its truth which is compassion to be seen, we are making a causative effort that emulates Hashem. The details of the matter might compel us to want to take what we feel is being lost.

By submitting, we are recognizing Hashem as all good. In this way we redeem the true compassion from its negative coarseness, releasing the holy sparks to return to pure compassion and revealing Hashem. We cannot take anything without Hashem’s help and using His Life force without first redeeming all the spiritual material does not accomplish what Hashem wants from us in the moment. HASHEM WANTS TO GIVE US THE ULTIMATE GOOD OF ETERNAL LIFE WITHOUT THE FEELING OF BEING A TAKER.

For making a causative effort with free will and speech, emulating Hashem, we are inoculated from the bread of shame because we selected the compassion from the coarse material through will.

THEN, because we made the causative effort,  we are given the opportunity to breathe with Hashem’s blessings, asking to direct the newly redeemed compassion towards the will we have for a blessing.

Pictorial meditation tool

Pictorial meditation tool

Refuah shelama Rivka Bracha bat Sara

For interesting and relevant Torah commentary from Ohr HaChaim on Bereshis see bottom of this article.

Focus on Hashem The Creator. Hashem is One. 

He does only good, what is for our ultimate good.

That good is to be free of the bread of shame for all eternity. 
Hashem, please help me grow in my ability to discern day from night.
We accomplish that good by making a causative effort ( loving Hashem, having awe of Hashem, with free will to ask Hashem to please help us go beyond reason and understanding and cling to Hashem is One Who only does good.)
Thank you Hashem for life and for this opportunity to draw Your compassion into the coarse material in my heart that is blocking me from seeing or feeling Your Compassion..
Hashem made one soul – Adom.  We are Your creation.

Everyone is or has been a blossom on that soul You created.
Being alive means we have the opportunity to choose to reveal Hashem in this world rather than our natural reactions.

We are awareness with free will and the creative power of speech.  We are aware that we are aware. We have real free will.  We are given the gift of creative speech, that we may infuse in words the breath from our life and form a spiritual being that impacts the worlds.

We have a body and circumstances in a world.

With awareness and free will and speech, we make a causative effort to remove the coarseness He leaves for us to ask Him to remove (the tohu) so that His creative energy that is its soul is restored to revealing His Compassion. 

We get the credit for taking responsibility to notice, admit, regret and to choose to ask.
The gift of life is the opportunity to use divinely given life force, free will and speech to positively impact the elements of the world so His Compassion may be revealed.
When we are in devekus, we are connected to Him and understand and feel His Compassion
When we feel His Compassion, we have expanded understanding from which to act.
Yet sometimes circumstances happen and we let go for one moment, being drawn by our perceptions into a physical reaction and into the material and physical implications of what happened.   Our mortality and natural reason and understanding, which are filled with mistaken or false understandings, cause us pain. The primary false understanding is that we have lost the feeling of the inner awareness that Hashem is One and only does good, what is best for us..
We think we know better than Hashem

(We feel sad, we feel frustrated, we have an urge to lash out in self defense – sad, mad bad.  Fight or flight.)  .

What happens then is very important to understand.

Through our emotions and thoughts, we are thrown into material and physical experience, with contact and access to all the elements, earth, wind, water and fire, solid, liquid, gas and radioactive. 

Our memory, habits, coping mechanisms, learned beliefs and more come into play through our limbic system and natural survival instincts. Often we have invested our choices in patterns that are ego based or that have an untruth to them.  We may rely on them to our detriment. 

What we feel is our own soul invested and trapped in something false. Even if we need to take a corrective action, our first step is to bring Hashem back into the picture, to restore a sense of Hashem as One and as only doing what is for the very best.
Instead of feeling that everything Hashem does is for our good, for example, we may feel  like victims.
Because we have holiness by virtue of being enlivened by a soul, the forces of darkness ( the Soton is in charge of nature)  that can only get their nurture increased from people step right in, ready to “take advantage” of our letting go of Hashem for one split second. What we stand ready to discover is where have we been investing our thoughts in falsehoods that have been supplying the Soton with our life force. Are we ready to stop nurturing destruction, to recognize that it is not our true essence and ask Hashem to please help us bring His Compasion into the darkness we have thought is us?

The meeting of our holy soul with physicality gives an opposing force, the Soton, a playing field to contend for our free willed choice.

Where shall we invest (or more likely re-invest) our thinking – in familiar patterns of thoughts that feel and fuel its powers or in thoughts that draw natural powers upward to Hashem so that He may be revealed?
Knowing that we feel vulnerable, the yetzer hara wants to continue to have access to our soul. 
The yetzer hara whispers something that for whatever reasons are stored in our memory banks due to ego and nature and personality and habits. 

We grip onto the familiar instead of reaching back to Hashem…the familiar tells us lashon hara, motzei shem ra, rechilus,, sheker – all of which we have listened to before and trapped our own compassion within.

These messages feel real to us because of our involvement with the material and physical reality. 

And because we are fallen in physicality, we listen its reason and understanding .

This is the place we want more empowerment to apply our free will.
This is what we look for in elul.  This is what we want redemption from – to redeem our soul from the trap of these falsehoods and inadvertent aveiras.  Listening to the falsehoods keeps us two steps away from Hashem, a reaction and now thinking its thought.
It is telling us what we need to survive in time and space. It is telling us limiting beliefs about ourselves or others or life or Hashem.

Here is a tool to identify the source of our message.

Ask, whose survival is it interested in? 
The survival of the yetzer hara? 
 Or my soul’s eternal survival, and its increase in G-d-Awareness?
Hashem fills every thought. 
If our own soul is habitually trapped in something false, the power of our own trapped soul is the pain  animating our challenge.

I wish to use my life to create the eternal survival of my soul – is what it is telling me going to help me grow awareness of Hashem for eternal life?  What is the lie, the false belief that helps me see clearly the opportunity to remove a block from my heart set by unrefined beliefs?

Once we spot where we are, we can begin the work to return to Hashem and grow that awareness of Hashem with the very material that is trying to draw on our soul! 

WE CAN GRIND THE COARSENESS AND REVEAL HASHEM’S COMPASSION (the true condition of the spiritual energy in our emotions and thoughts) rather than the natural reactions we are feeling in our heart (animating falsehoods).

Here is where we are empowered to approach the swirling emotions and thoughts in a way that reflects Hashem is One. 
It is not about the subjectivity except to the extent our unique understanding puts us in a position to positively impact the universal spiritual materials of solid, liquid, gas and radioactive elements (earth wind water and fire) in the moment. 
We are empowered through free will to remove the obstructions/coarseness that conceal Hashem in this world simply through our causative effort to recognize Hashem is One and to love Him. and understand the design and yearn to reveal Him. 
We are now empowered to approach the emotional confusion within our heart through a paradigm of Hashem is One and only does good. 

This is my opportunity to refine coarse material (the natural presenting thought based on material and physical reality that needs to be nullified)  in my heart due to nature, specifically my unique nature.

I feel empowered to embrace the opportunity, excited to do Hashem’s Will, our primary mission, of being a conduit, a bridge between worlds, so that He may be revealed.
What is in our heart – do we feel Hashem’s love and mercy, the effluence within the soul?

Or is our heart feeling something else, ready to say or so something that might be damaging to ourselves or someone else? Are we feeling aware of Hashem’s love and mercy?
What is blocking our feeling beloved? 

It is no longer about the circumstances but about clarifying spiritual material from a concealing veil so that it may be revealed.  This is our chance to use causative effort – to be G-d-Like in redeeming the compassion from its powerful natural appearance.
What are the thoughts that are behind what is blocking us from feeling Hashem’s compassion?

These thoughts are “trapping” the compassion that is the effluence of everything, trapping the compassion in a coarse form. 

We have OPPORTUNITY to use free will and speech in a way that emulates the Creator!  We are EMPOWERED through free will and the creative power of prayerful speech in reques to Hashem.  Hashem we wish to return all the material to Hashem and receive the lost compassion back with olam haba consciousness.
Concentrate our heart on loving Hashem and having awe in Hashem. 
Keep looking at Hashem is One, that everything Hashem does is for our good. 
The good right now is the opportunity to be like Hashem by making a causative effort that returns spiritual matter to Him.  Let go of the outcome, let go of the circumstances.  Trust Hashem.

We are only inadequate in not being able to ever be the Creator. 
However, we are all enough to emulate Him! 
We have access to initiate a causative force, a nuclear power within us, through free willed choice to do the mitzvahs of love and awe of Hashem in the moment of challenge! 
We bring olam haba consciousness into our hearts! 
It affects all that we are experiencing in a redemptive and beneficial way.

Awareness is what we are in essence. Free Will. Speech.
These are tools we have while having a body and contact with material and physical reality. With this, we can make a causative effort that emulates Hashem.
This causative effort inoculates us from the bread of shame because we will have awareness that we used causative effort and were like Hashem in our own unique universe.

Hashem, the compassion that is Your Effluence is mixed up within coarseness in my heart.  I am describing it to You because the compassion is lost and I am asking You to please find all of it and return this lost compassion to me with olam haba consciousness.  I love You and understand the design.  Please may this causative effort positively affect all the spiritual material within me . ffort positively affect all the spiritual material within me .
For each coarse thought, continue making the causative effort of love for Hashem and awe of the design.  These mitzvahs are our pepper-grinder, separating out the compassion that is trapped in the dross of corrupted habits, judgments and thoughts as well as from the natural urges that led that compassion to become trapped in the first place. 

With our eye on Hashem is One and Only does good, as each thought comes up, concentrate on love and awe of Hashem in our hearts to redeem the compassion trapped in the distressing thought.  Trust this. 
Ask Hashem to please restore all the spiritual energy to its true form, compassion.  Ask that we feel His compassion so that we may reveal His Compassion.
By loving Hashem and having awe in Hashem, we are asking that the compassion animating the negativity itself let go of the falsehood and become part of our soul – part of the fruit – with all its strength and nourishment. We ask for the dross to dissolve by virtue of being deprived of our investment of our soul in its thoughts.
Each thought that comes up is another coarse piece in our heart. 
Continue the process observing rather than thinking each thought.

There may be many blockages, much coarse material.
This is especially so in those who suffered trauma or had complicated environments early in life. However, the compassion trapped in the coarse material is redeemable!
Love Hashem and have awe in the design. We are here to break through the false covering, the coarseness, so as to have the privilege of having made a causative effort for Hashem to be revealed in the world by our effort.
We have real free will to choose to go beyond reason and understanding and bring our heart to concentrate with love for Hashem and awe in the design in order to return all the spiritual material within us to Him in teshuva.  By so choosing, we make a causative effort to rectify the eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
When we use free will in this manner, our awareness of Hashem increases.
The growth in our awareness of Hashem is for all eternity.
And while we are alive, the awareness of Hashem’s love and mercy reaches our heart and we are able to reveal compassion.
This is healing for us and for the world.
When we feel Hashem’s love and mercy in our hearts, it is revealed through our speech and deeds.
Peppercorns and orange rinds – Awareness is what is eternally ours
Rabbi Moshe Weinberger – Taking Responsibility without feeling bad about ourselves – fix it
Rabbi Moshe Weinberger – Chalban – Hakitzu V’Raninu – Hear in a deep way, have a heart that is true

Interesting and relevant Torah commentary from Bereshis from Ohr haChaim

Page 18

20: The entire paragraph dealing with the creation of the human species alludes to the fact that man was the principal objective of the entire universe.  The word bereshis then means that when Hashem started to create man, He began with is divine qualities, his Heavenly source Hashomayim as well as with his physical source Haaretz.

Our sages understand Psalms 50:4: yikra al hashomayim mal., as a reference to man’s spirit, whereas they understand the subsequent words val Haaretz in the same verse s a reference to the earth that man’s body s made of.  The message of the verse is that by means of man’s deeds it is possible for him to transform the material he is made of to such a high spiritual level that it will be considered as an idealized form, a symbol rather than mere matter.

We have a tradition that bodies of truly righteous people do not turn into dust upon their deaths since the materials their bodies are made of have already been refined to such an extent that they have become spiritualized (based on Rabbi Yitzchak Arama who explained in chapter 32 why the term maisah is not used or the Torah in relation to Jacob.). This us why our sages say that the righteous are called chaim, alive, even when they have departed this earth.  This is so because even their physical parts have become spiritualized, maintaining contact with eternal life.  The wicked, on the other hand are considered as already dead even while they are still alive within their bodies.  Even the spiritual part of their beings is reduced to being merely physical, i.e. mortal, inert.  Both of these possibilities are alluded to in the very first words of the Torah when the Torah speaks of G’d having created es hashomayim ves Haaretz.  The Torah means that man has the choice of belonging to either part of the universe.


…there I still spiritual darkness in the world. The function of the light I to assist man in his struggle against the forces of the yetzer hara Soton.  It I designed to establish lines of demarcation, to enable one to recognize when one is being seduced, to identify what precisely is sinful and wicked.  This is why the Torah continues (1,4) that G’d made a division between the light (the soul) and darkness (the forces of evil). This is what Solomon meant when he stated (Kohelet 10,2): The heart of a wise man is on his right…the site illuminated by the light of the soul, whereas, the heart of the fool is on the left, the site of the evil urge. “G’d called the light day whereas He called the darkness night; this is why David prayed that G’d should save him rom the terror of the nights, i.e. the evil urge.

  1. 21

…When we examine the reason for the creation of the entire universe we must conclude that our art of the universe is its very core.  Israel are G’d’s people and His inheritance. (deut 32,9)…

  1. 22

The Jewish people are [that is the observance of Torah is] the key to the continued existence not only of earth but of the heavens as well.  Students of kabbalah are well acquainted with this interdependence between heaven and earth.  Once we appreciate this concept we can understand the Tohu Vavohu as an allusion to the periods when Israel are in exile, and when due to that fact they prevent G’d from occupying His residence on earth.

…the times…are not the cause of all this [deterioration in our own spiritual standards] for G’d has said yehi ohr, let there be light  The author of Tikkuney haZohar has pointed out that the numerical value of the word raz, secret, is the same as the numerical value of the word ohr, light.  The light referred to in our verse is the light of redemption.  G’d decreed that this light shall remain hidden until it will be revealed by the Moshiach . In the interval until then it will remain hidden like a treasure. Concerning the time when this light will be revealed G’d has said “I have revealed it to My heart but My heart has not revealed it to My mouth.”

  1. 23

…It is also well known that the ability of the kelipa to remain alive is totally dependent on its ability to be nurtured by a holy source.  The moment such a holy source dries up, the kelipa has nothing to sustain it and to keep it alive. Therefore when G’d separates the light, i.e. holiness, and evil remains totally isolated it will have no source whence to sustain itself and will disintegrate of its own accord…the only thing that will be left at that tie will be the light which is good.

  1. 30

Every single drop of rain that descends from above is met by two drops of subterreanean water which rise towards it. The whole process of water contributing to growth is equated with the mating of living creatures.  This teaches that when the waters from above the earth or the waters from below the earth act alone, they are unable to achieve their role of promoting growth.  This is what the sages meant when they said that there are two kind of water, the male and the female.  When the Torah describes how the waters became more and more turbulent during the deluge, it appears they became stronger a soon as the male waters from above joined the female waters below.

  1. 61

The author of Tikkuney HaZohar section 59: the author states that the serpent violated the commandment not to testify falsely by saying that G;d had forbidden all the fruit of all the trees in the garden.  It is characteristic of Satan to plant lies in the minds of people, thus creating false images and beliefs in their hearts. Sometimes Satan convinces man that the sin he is panning is inevitable so that he night as well not feel badly about committing it. This is the slyest way of all to seduce people into committing a sin.