We are more than our bodies and persona. Far more.
However we do not naturally discern this depth.
The key to finding our depth is to accept as true something Torah teaches us that we experience as positive but that is blinding us.
Torah teaches us that when we ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, we internalized something external to our essence that confuses us.
We experience our persona, our natural development in time and space, intertwined with this confusion as if it is the guidance we need to rely on. What Torah tells us is the mixture of good and evil integrated within us, we find to be our natural intellect and trustworthy gut reactions, and we build our mental and physical existence based on its leadership. This is what is blinding us, blinding us so much that we don’t challenge its messages and seek our happiness from the best we can do in such confusion.
By being so blinded, we miss the purpose for which we are created, which is to have a relationship with Hashem and use real free will to unify His Name by asking Him to help us free our soul from clinging to natural urges and impulses, thereby correcting our characteristics. Our effort to ask Hashem to please help us re-organize the spiritual energy within our natural impulses so that we can feel His Compassion (and not the pain that results from His Compassion being hidden by our nature) is the relationship Hashem desires to have with us…Hashem desires to have a creation able to recognize and appreciate Hashem and His love for us and His giving essence, a creation that can receive the good He gives with awareness and for the purpose of reflecting His Compassion into the world.
All there is in the world is Hashem, the only Being alive, Who gives life force to us so that we may utilize His Compassion to build an eternity of knowing that we remembered, while in a body that conceals the truth, Hashem Who took us out of Egypt to be Hashem to us. He gives us real free will to choose to reorganize the shadows and doubts and compelling emotions that divert life force to our subjective pursuit of gratification. We are given real free will to ask Hashem to please help us, that we want the compassion hidden in our nature (to which we are bonded and which to us appears as what we want and are lacking) to be restored to its pure compassion in a revealed way that we may feel so that we may absorb it into our hearts and sincerely reflect His Compassion into the world. In other words, we get ourselves out of the way so that we do not derail the life force He sends through us from coming into the world.
The look and feel of what we experience naturally and trust is filled with emotion, movement, the pursuit of desires, and physical structures we instinctively protect. Our intellect and imagination work together and we take action.
The look and feel of unifying our life force before acting is filled with emunah, bitachon and effortful pleading with Hashem. We recognize the initial look and feel and tell Hashem we want to not want to act on that. INSTEAD we desire to reflect Him into the world, so please help us empty the urges and impulses of what we are experiencing and to please reorganize the compassion so that His love is felt and revealed and added to our yetzer tov to help us prevail over the natural look and feel.
Our natural look and feel is like a train running on the track, heading to its destination. Do we want to go there when we could go deeper and higher?
Our deeper avoda feels like a clinging to absolute truth without knowing how it will work out in our circumstances. We let go of circumstances knowingly because we have zero control over the circumstances that present and zero control over the outcomes of our actions. This is where our emunah that Hashem loves us and is One and our bitachon that Hashem is kind and giving help.
Our emunah and bitachon help us feel love for Hashem, no matter what, and it is our love for Hashem that provides the warmth into which the life force hidden in our urges and impulses begins its flow back to Hashem where it is then returned to being a revealed compassion.
The use of real free will and love for Hashem to nullify the urges and impulses within the natural experience is up to us. The emptying of our emotions into the Infinity of Hashem’s surrounding love shows our sincerity and trust and belief that we are far greater than our natural experience. Within our natural reactions is concealed our true inner being, a nefesh elokis connected to the tree of life without confusion and without being bonded to what blocks Hashem’s love from being felt.
Real free will and love unify our life force and strengthen the yetzer tov. Stabilizing our yetzer tov in our hearts with an environment of love for Hashem to receive every moment of life is the goal.