Author Archives: shulikleinman

Correlating Derech Hashem to the use of free will, love and awe of Hashem, and healing shame

The Ramchal teaches in Derech Hashem that Hashem desires to give us only good, and that He creates this world in order to do so.  Hashem designs this world and mankind in order to have a being that can be aware of Him and have a relationship with Him and derive pleasure from that relationship.

The Way of G-d

Part 1: The Fundamental Principles of Reality

Chapter 2:2 The Purpose of Creation

1:2:2

We come upon a most astounding fact of Divine intent and human purpose here. Ramchal declares that it was G-d’s intent that the recipients of His goodness — that we — be personally responsible for His benevolence rather than just passive recipients of it!

That’s to say, we’re to earn it rather than inherit it or “get it in the mail” so to speak — to be proactive in our growth and ascent, initiators of our own spiritual well-being, and we’re to use our freely made decisions to do good things in order to earn G-d’s favor 1. Otherwise, Ramchal adds, G-d’s goodness would be flawed on some level, when we learned that G-d wanted to grant us perfect goodness 2.

He then goes on to point out that by indeed making use of our free will and playing an active role in our own growth, we thus achieve something of G-d’s perfection, and become closer to Him accordingly.

That is, we ourselves thus become free agents like Him. Now, there’s a whole order of difference between our free will and His, to be sure. Ours had to be implanted in us by G-d, while His is inherent. And we’re only free to make ethical and mitzvah-based choices (i.e., we can’t decide to fly for example, or disappear, etc.) which does indeed have a profound effect upon the course of things here and beyond, but it nonetheless doesn’t compare to G-d’s absolute freedom of choice.

Nonetheless the fact that only we humans and G-d are free agents — while angels, animals, vegetables, minerals, etc. are not — points to a unique kinship between G-d and ourselves. And it enables us to be holy and righteous, and to derive credit for having made the right choices.

G-d thus created a system of achieving either perfection or settling for flaws (by doing right or wrong things) 3; a being who’d be able to choose either option (i.e., ourselves); and a system to achieve perfection or accrue flaws (i.e., the mitzvah system thanks to which we achieve a degree of perfection by following through on the positive mitzvot or we accrue flaws by engaging in prohibitions). And He thus granted us the means to be free agents and thus emulate Him to a degree, and to attach onto His presence and fully enjoy His benevolence.

Notes:

1 See Ramchal’s Da’at Tevunot 18, Klallei Pitchei Chochma v’Da’at 1, Kinat Hashem Tziva’ot, Klach Pitchei Chochma 4, and Adir Bamarom p. 393. Also see Emunot v’De’ot (introduction to Ch. 3); Zohar 2, 163b; Pardes 2:5:3, and Ari’s Likutei Torah, Ha’azinu, p. 28.

Our free will is to be discussed again in 1:2:4 and in some depth is the 3rd chapter of this section.

2 See 1:2:1 for G-d’s utter and perfect benevolence.

But, why would G-d’s benevolence be less-than-perfect if we weren’t free agents? While Ramchal doesn’t explain it here, he does in some of the other works cited in note 1. He says that if we were granted out-and-out charity we’d experience what’s termed “the bread of shame” (based on the statement in T.J. Orlah 1:3 that “One who eats something that isn’t his own i.e. that he himself didn’t earn is ashamed to look in his benefactor’s face”; also see Tosephot on Kiddushin 36b, Ritvah on Rosh Hashanah 9b, and R’ Yoseph Karo’s Magid Maisharim, Breishit, 14 Tevet).

The point is that we’re to proudly and justifiably earn our reward rather than receive it shamefacedly as charity. Otherwise G-d’s generosity would be malevolent to a degree rather than wholly benevolent.

Ramchal defines “shame” in Adir Bamarom p. 252 as the experience of perceiving something as either being above oneself or beneath him: see his remarks there.

3 This begins to explain why there’s wrong and injustice in the world. The subject of wrong comes up in very many places in Ramchal’s writings including but certainly not limited to Klach Pitchei Chochma 30, 33, 37, 44, 45, 47, 53, 63, 83, and 108; Da’at Tevunot 96-133; and below in 1:2:5, 1:3:6, 1:5:7-9, 3:2:8, 4:1:3, 4:4:1,9, and 4:9:1.

Hashem creates us and the world in order to give us the ability to receive unflawed pleasure, the pleasure of being with Hashem without feeling Hashem is above us.  How does Hashem do this?  By giving us a microdot of free will that enables us to create by choosing our own identity – as made in His Image over our natural egoistic self-conscious orientation in a material and physical world.

Our egoistic identity is an outcome of developing within the material and physical world according to the natural laws and our experiences.  Being mortal, our survival becomes associated with money, protection, safety, and more.  We develop beliefs about these.  Some of these beliefs, however, are embedded in our survival instincts and are false.  Here is how that might happen:

Once a response becomes built into our survival mechanism, it is obviously going to contain a hurtful defensive action.  If the fear of acting that out is great, the hurtful action is internalized.  We might beat ourselves up for our mistakes, for example.

Remember, shame is a natural consequence of realizing Hashem is greater than we are.  Being a created being means that we are built with shame when faced with Hashem’s greatness EXCEPT Hashem did not want that!  So He gives us a way to inoculate ourselves from it – life!!

Hashem gives us the experience of life with a “starter” identity called an ego that feels like it is the real us.  He does this so that we have real free will to recognize that all there is in the world is Hashem and what He has done for us, that all we have to do is recognize Him and ask and He will give us the feeling of connection with Him, the greatest pleasure a person can experience.  What does it cost us?  It costs us “our first born child,” namely our belief system from the material and physical world.  How do we do it?  We ask Hashem to please help us feel His love and mercy instead of what we naturally feel that is blocking the truth.  How do we ask?  We ask from a place of love for Hashem and awe in the design of how He has created the world and man (emunah).  Without actually opening our hearts with sincere love for Hashem and awe in the design, the part of our soul that is made in Hashem’s image and that wants only to connect to Him is not included in our request.  We want to ask from our tzelem elokim and from our natural pained experiential self. This is how we nullify the material and physical world (see Daas Tevunas by the Ramchal, https://torah.org/series/ramchal/). And when we do, when we open the love for Hashem and the awe for Hashem that is inherited from the akeida, from the sacrifice of Yitzchok by Avraham, emunah we receive as part of our tzelem elokim, that pinhole opening draws Hashem’s love and mercy into our hearts and together, the spark of our soul that became trapped in our survival instincts is able to flow back into its real expression of compassion, without the damaging false beliefs in which it was blocked from expressing its compassion, hijacked instead to animate the false belief.  This is a way to circumcise our heart.


We are given free will (see Ramchal above) so that when we make the choice to connect to Hashem and ask to feel His love and mercy so that we may reveal His Love and mercy, actualizing our tzelem elokim as our identity, we are on a microcosmic scale reducing the reality of Hashem being above us.  And for that effort of acting to be like Hashem, shame itself is no longer necessary when we are in His Presence, because we will have taken real action, made the effort with free willed choice, to be like Him.  And this is how this world is a corridor to the next, how we make use of this lifetime to create an eternal identity for ourselves. We can make for ourselves a heart of flesh.

Thus it is incumbent upon us to try.  We are in charge of effort.  Success is up to Hashem.  As long as we try, we are inoculating ourselves by nullifying the material and physical world and how it appears in favor of the abstract spiritual world.  We are then enabled to draw His Compassion into this world and make our hearts and this world a place where He is revealed, through our speech and deeds.

I hope this is helpful.  I hope this sinks in.  I hope it helps us build emunah and gives us the impetus to cry out to Hashem and ask. Here is a document called the Best of the Best, a compilation of the most esteemed Rabbis from all the various Torah true communities over time.. litvish, sephardi, chassidic, kabbalistic, mussar, and more.  The reason I share it is because the universal topic across ALL groups IS this topic of revealing tzelem elokim over the natural self.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QosdWeSpPZvGO4HjckYEwn9jUlCsa9z8QRaBexRyGis/edit

Here is the link to the translations of the derech of Rabbi Asher Freund.  Listening to these will concretize the ideas above, including how to do it.

The Derech of Emunah -Rabbi Asher Freund readings UPDATED
Resolving Shame

May our work in upcoming Elul help us dissolve sinas chinam once and for all

The insight into sinas chinam that might help so much is if we could grasp that our hurt feelings are stemming from our interpretations of what happened and that our interpretations are based on our (often false) beliefs, not on the other person’s beliefs, even if those were the very same words said with the very same intention in the other person!  Noticing our faults triggers a feeling of inadequacy that is accompanied by shame.  And that is the fallen shame for which Hashem is sending the matter, so that we may struggle to regain a proper relationship with Him and a proper use of the sense of being a created being made in His Image.

Although we are inclined to find in another’s words grounds to be hurt, and indeed words may have been exchanged that are not misinterpreted, it hurts to the degree of our interpretation and strength of our beliefs.  To one person, the same words might roll off their back.  Did anyone ever tell you to let it roll?  Why is that possible for some and not for others?  Is there something wrong with us?

It is not that anything is wrong with us.  We are all made in the image of Hashem. That is the essential truth.  However, we believe lashon hara about that pure part of us due to influences when we were vulnerable and dependent and our brains were forming.  Those beliefs, that got imbued in our survival instincts because we were scared of rejection or being abandoned (as young children naturally have these fears), over time became our self-image.  We don’t even know what the originating flaw was that caused us to develop such hurtful inner images of ourselves.  And because it feels so dangerous, we hesitate to investigate, to look inside, out of fear of what we will find….that imaginary demon we came to believe we are, due to the impressions about ourselves that the anger and frustration of certain role models may have generated.  And what is worse, we don’t remember, nor do we believe anything except that they loved us and we love them.  It is all in the unconscious and subconscious and we feel ill equipped to strip away layers that we believe are just us, plain and simple – flawed, imperfect – accept me as I am, don’t try to change me or fix me.  The only problem is that we probably spend a great deal of time feeling sad or hurt, or even shaking inside, and possibly saying or doing things we really don’t want to do, meaning that we hurt others in retaliation in self-defense to restore our sense of safety. 

When we feel judged and demonized, our instinct is to return fire with fire.  We then judge and demonize.  And who prevails?  The battle is over when one of the parties trumps the other with a more damaging demonization that they can blame them for.  The other party stops. However, the war is lost because of the deep hurts we inflict and the loss of love and trust between people.

What if we could come to a point of consciousness that would give us a moment to reflect that the judgment and demonization that we believe is being made of us is not really coming from the belief of the other person even if they said the actual words!!!!  The pain we are feeling is coming from within us alone.  Thus, if we can rectify the pain we experience within, even if the other person judges and demonizes us with those very same words, what impact will it have on us?  NONE. Why?  Because we will have a tool to be in touch with the real truth, and that truth is that we are made in Hashem’s image and that He loves us in a way that can never be broken.  We are Divine beings in bodies that are flawed.  Nothing diminishes the divine spark within us, a piece of infinity Itself.  Shaking off the coverings over that truth can take a lifetime.

We are approaching Elul.  I hope these words inspire and empower anyone reading it to truly search for the truth inside and shed the misconceptions and false beliefs that parade as our ego and identity.  May we breach the walls of the shell covering and concealing the pure light we are enabled to bring to this world.

Motivation to use and context for dynamic prayer, hisbodidus, when “in action” with downward pulls
Correlating Derech Hashem to the use of free will, love and awe of Hashem, and healing shame

The Nature of Truth: Correspondence and Coherence theories and Torah

“If something is true, that means it reflects Hashem,  that it is something from the world of Atzilut.  The beauty of a true word from a speaking being, man, who parallels Hashem, Who creates with speech.”

“To be true, it must fit with all other statements in the belief system, 100%.  All the statements have to be true. If one statement does not fit, it becomes false.  Torah is emes. “

Truth of Yaakov (tiferes) and foundation (yesod) represent these two forms of truth.

Motivation to use and context for dynamic prayer, hisbodidus, when “in action” with downward pulls

  1. Step back from reactive thought and see the thought.
  2. From a place of emunah cry out that I am disconnected and wish to reconnect.
  3. Tell Hashem how my survival instinct is trembling and to help me calm it down by remembering that its reactivity is happening because I am having a hidden thought that I am inadequate and therefore should be ashamed by my flaws.
  4.  Confess my flaw and thank Hashem for the opportunity to bring the positive spiritual energy trapped by my aveiras and past mistakes of believing this lashon hara about the part of my soul that is pure from this darkness so that I may once again feel Hashem’s love and mercy(the true innermost characteristic of everything) and reveal His Compassion in the very place where my survival instinct is reactive.
  5.  Ask Hashem that the positive spiritual energy within the downward pulls that He Designs that has drawn me because of my flaws over and over to subconsciously react within this pattern also be unified back to Him and be the glue to which instead I cling for life to Hashem.  Declare intention – I don’t want to express darkness and confusion.  I choose to express Your Love and Mercy but I need Your Help.
  6.  Make actual causative effort – Feel love for Hashem and awe in the design and “run” all the positive spiritual energy animating the reactivity within me to Hashem by asking out loud to feel His love and mercy. Tell Hashem that I do not want to express how I feel from these reactions, which is a consequence of my flaws believing lures from the yetzer hara and listening to natural judgments and demonizations about myself or others. Tell Hashem I want to express His Love and Mercy and to please help me remove the confusion of mind that is attracting me to falsehood and deception.  Tell Hashem that I am asking for my flaws to be healed and that my soul be guarded from the pulls of the negativity, and that the strength of the negativity itself become available to me to cling to Hashem as a channel within my physical reality to feel and reveal His Love and Mercy.
  7. Breathe in and out until calmness and clarity shift in, asking Hashem that all the positive spiritual energy flow back to my heart as compassion that I may reveal in my speech and deeds so that He may be revealed in this world. ( feel everything that comes up while feeling love and awe. Breathing love and awe while describing infuses love and awe into the “material” of the originating thought).
  8. Thank Hashem for giving me real free will and speech to form an identity for myself for all eternity as made in His Image.  In the microdot of consciousness that is my unique universe, I have real free will to create who I am as being made in Your Image over my natural responses and that is what I choose.
  9. Thank Hashem for the gift of being like Him in being able to create this image, for being given this creative power, so that this choice to be like Him innoculates me from the bread of shame for all eternity.
  10. Thank Hashem for the experience of inadequacy and shame in the deceptive place of ego and being flawed so that I could choose to be like Him in my personal microdot of consciousness that us my unique universe and life.
  11. Realize that these steps help remove the zuhama from having eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  May this realization empower us to face our personal pain with understanding and love for Hashem and awe in how He has created the world for our benefit.
  12. Ask that the tree of life, of being one with Hashem’s lovingkindness, be felt in my survival instincts, weakening the grip of the yetzer hara by unifying Hashem’s Name, ein od milvado.
  13. ASK THAT THIS TESHUVA be a merit for klal yisrael so that we are meritorious for redemption b’ahava.
The dynamic prayer, updated. It is up to US. Please help us. All we want is You

Rabbi Tzadok Cable – Understanding being made in His Image and how our prayer is truly powerful

These important new chaburas are highly recommended, especially to prepare for the High Holidays.  Rav Cable, www.thebinahtree.com, articulates  Torah concepts regarding living as tzelem elokim and avodas Hashem in a clear and empowering way.  Listening quiets and expands us.

We are made in His Image and can reveal Him in this world.  It is up to us. We can bring the return of everything to it proper order.

My takeaways from these classes:
The absolute essence of everything is compassion.
We are not obligated to the level of chassidus that Tomer Devorah tells us BUT when we experience the strong emotions within human nature, even though we are not obligated, instead of reacting in a normal way (that is not an aveira), we have free will to have compassion upon the Shechina that is trapped within our natural reaction and INSTEAD, out of love for Hashem, choose to do more as explained by Torah is within our reach – we can choose to be like Hashem and emulate Hashem.
That choice, to be compassionate as Hashem is compassionate, is what Rabbi Kessin says is our opportunity to be causative like Hashem in creating – and that act of being like Hashem, choosing in a causative way through free will and prayerful speech –  inoculates us from having to experience the bread of shame for all eternity. The use of free will to cry out and ask Hashem to help us conduct ourselves in His Image and not according to our natural blocks is an effort that in that moment is like Hashem.  We create our personal eternal identity.  We define ourselves within our unique personal infinite universe. And thus, we have a real opportunity to be like G-d within our microcosmically small consciousness and personal universe, which saves us from feeling ashamed that we are a created being.  We will have had the experience of being a creator of our identity.  And that is the whole point.  To do so, we are rising above what blocks us, correcting our middos, aligning our identity to tzelem elokim.  This is our entire purpose.
To make this effort takes love for Hashem.  Whether we realize it or not, if we have internalized the desire to make this effort, it is because the Torah regarding this matter that we have learned has become integrated in our hearts due to our having chosen to perform the mitzvahs of loving Hashem and recognizing the design of the world over a period of time, and that love and awe have affected our knowledge. Our imagination is connected to Torah and Hashem.  Love and awe have “sunk in”.  Thus, although integrated which means that it is in our expanded consciousness, making the effort includes the reality of our performing the mitzvah of loving Hashem, ,with all our hearts, with all our soul, and with all our might.  It is these mitzvahs that continue to provide the vessel through which we are able to reveal more and more of Hashem’s compassion.
Love increases the hormone oxitopol, which turns off our stress hormone.
When we cry out and cling to shivisi Hashem lneged tamid (see Lights of Emunah series) , Shema or another pasuk, we are exercising compassion and not survival instincts.
We are Divine beings with the opportunity of a lifetime (pun intended) to articulate from a place of love where we desire to feel Hashem’s love and mercy, so that we may reveal love and mercy.  
We choose for our personal infinite unique universe to be like Hashem.  The strength from our natural reactions can turn around and become the strength that draws Hashem’s compassion into our hearts, speech and deeds.
And that then generates light into the elements as well as creates an eternal identity for us. 
The roots of a person are in the soul that is made in Hashem’s image.  The imagination of a person is naturally drawn to the wisdom based within the confusion that resulted from having eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. What is that confusion?  That confusion is that we are able to do something on our own.  The only thing we have real free will to choose on our own is whether or not we have awe in the design of the world and act accordingly. When we will anything, it is carried out by virtue of Hashem’s strength, not ours.  But when we love Hashem and will to follow the design and purpose according to Torah, we are using that real free will – a causative effort – to define ourselves as a being in His Image that is loyal to that image and desirous of devoting all our hearts, all our soul and all our might to revealing His Compassion. 
The question is what blocks us?  These blocks come up over and over again.  Our role is one of run and return, processing our free will each opportunity.  It is the process that brings light to the world.  What goes wrong is that the downward pulls bring stormy feelings that generate false impressions about us, about Hashem, about life, and about the world. The more we are able to remember that all emotional blocks are feelings of inadequacy about our flaws, the more we embrace the real opportunity to “turn the tables” on the strength of those emotions so that the strength becomes the energy with which we cling loyally to Hashem and our choosing to emulate Him.  Doing so brings healing into our hearts and that opens a flow of truth and beauty to flow through our speech and deeds.

 

 

Rabbi Asher Freund – redeeming ourselves from our nature

In this week’s translation from the derech of Rabbi Asher Freund, Rabbi Freund discusses the difference between waiting for Moshiach and working on our characteristics and redeeming ourselves from our nature.

 

for more from Rabbi Asher Freund, please listen here:

The Derech of Emunah -Rabbi Asher Freund readings UPDATED

The dynamic prayer, updated. It is up to US. Please help us. All we want is You

I continue to update this hisbodidus prayer, so please check back here to see updates.  Here is the most updated so far.  Feedback appreciated with gratitude so that it may be as understandable and effective as possible.

Please join our emunah sharing, either on zoom or whatsapp

whatsapp https://chat.whatsapp.com/5wDhuh65NfY7mdm6oWHLZZ

zoom sundays 3 pm or tues 8 pm eastern https://zoom.us/j/2029420686

Helpful materials:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QosdWeSpPZvGO4HjckYEwn9jUlCsa9z8QRaBexRyGis/edit?usp=sharing

Shares the Torah from the most famous Rabbis across the orthodox spectrum , litvish, sephardi, chassudic, kabbalistic, etc.. Regardless of what group, notice that the topic is the same revealing tzelem ekokim over the natural

http://beyondanydoubts.com/2016/05/05/the-derech-of-rabbi-usher-freund-readings/
Here are audio translations from derech of Rabbi Asher Freund upon whose tefila my examples and the hisbodidus prayer below are based…Rabbi Freund explains how to ask Hashem to help.

Emunah is key to have before we ask in our prayer…

For the explanation, please see the link to the original blog post at the bottom of this article

Dynamic Prayer

Abstracting the essence intuition

Seeing the world through a mystical energetic prism

We are completely dependent on God’s kindness, which is what fills everything in this world including our painful experiences and feelings.   Nothing is beyond where His love and mercy may reach.  Our belief in His Lovingkindness in everything and our total dependence on the Creator and no other is exactly what God is waiting for to finally bring us home.

When feeling a painful, hurt response, stop, get quiet and try these steps while breathing deeply throughout.

“Hashem is right here, right now with me. Thank you Hashem for the opportunity to cry out to You and make an effort to ask that my prayer bring Your lovingkindness into this very place within me where I feel …….”.(If the feeling is not understood clearly, try talking to it lovingly and with awe “neshamala, I see you are covered over and blocked.  What is blocking you from feeling Hashem’s love and mercy?” Talk to it and then when the feelings covering the neshama are being expressed [and it will sound in the first person,” I feel this and that”, because the neshama is trapped in and animating the blocks.  The goal is for the neshama, the positive spiritual vitalizing energy, along with the positive vitalizing spark of whatever is trapping it, to be drawn back to its Source], continue from a place of emunah and trust in Hashem. “I want to serve Hashem.  I am embracing with gratitude the opportunity to be like You, Hashem, and seek to reveal Your Lovingkindness and Mercy.”

Now continue, by going back to speaking from  the place of entrapment of the neshama. It is going to talk in the first person because the ego “steals” our identity away from tzelem elokim. “I am feeling ………………………….. and I do not feel at all Your love and mercy, I am praying to You out of love for You and because I understand the design of how You have created us. Please help!  I know that everything in this world comes from You and You create only good, although You hide.i feel so stuck.”

Now speak  from the feelings of love and awe in my heart, from a place of emunah,  and tell Hashem, “I do not want my soul to be trapped there and I know that You Hashem do not want that either. I love You Hashem and have awe in the design and I choose to draw love and awe into the place of pain where it feels like…………  I understand that I have real free will and this is an opportunity to ask that Your lovingkindness redeem my soul from the grips of nature. By my initiating the feelings of love and awe in Hashem, I ask that Your lovingkindness and mercy draw out my neshama from its entrapment and thereby quiet and heal  the urge that is entrapping spiritual vitality from my soul. Comfort me! Please help me. I want that all the positive spiritual energy within me feel and reveal as One with You Your lovingkindness and mercy.”

With full concentration on Hashem is One, feeling the symphony of emotions and all the different parts to it,  say “I trust and believe that everything is filled with Your compassion, even if hidden. Despite that I feel …………. I recognize that whatever vitality I feel has a positive spiritual energy and that is the focus of my prayer, my love for Hashem, and my awe in Hashem’s design, and therefore I cry out.  Please may the positive spiritual vitality from my soul and from whatever is entrapping my soul be unified with You, Who is One, and may my clinging to You and asking to feel and reveal Your lovingkindness, including from this place in my natural makeup, be granted success, that instead of confusion and pain, I am able to express love and mercy and make a kiddush Hashem.  My desire is to be like You Hashem, a flow of Your Absolute Oneness, and may I be strengthened in revealing Your love and mercy with all of the positive spiritual vitality being sent to me from You through this experience.”

“With the love of Hashem and with awe that Hashem gives me real free will to choose these mitzvahs and to open a pinhole in my heart, I ask that the spiritual vitality of my soul that is suffering be redeemed from its confines and that I feel Your love and mercy so that I may reveal Your love and mercy, acting like Hashem, and being close to You in this way.  Please help me. Please unify all the positive spiritual energy from what traps it so that I feel Your Love and Mercy in order to reveal it.” Continue breathing until some shift is felt, a sense of inner peace. (Insights may come later, such as re-experiencing the originating causes from early life regarding the pattern. Breathing these out, exhaling as these come up, is a release, hopefully a healing.)

(if feeling resistance, cynicism, a lack of emunah – even though I don’t fully understand and am vulnerable to this doubting, I understand the design that this doubting also contains a spiritual vitalizing energy from my soul and I ask that Hashem please take that especially strong vitality and help me use it to cling with emunah to Hashem rather than to the force it is clinging to that is causing a forgetting of Your Oneness.)

“I regret my past failures at bringing Hashem into this place of pain.  I ask that my teshuva be accepted and that my effort to bring Hashem’s lovingkindness into the matter be a merit for klal Yisrael that we may all be forgiven for similar errors, and that Hashem, forgiving us, please redeem us.”

________________

http://beyondanydoubts.com/2018/08/09/updated-steps-to-ask-for-forgivenessas-of-yom-kippur-koton-for-elul

___________________

Motivation to use and context for dynamic prayer, hisbodidus, when “in action” with downward pulls

I found an explanation from the Arizal in Parshas Ekev to understand why speak back and forth, from within the pain as well as from our emunah.  Here is the passage:

“These three are the mental states that enter zeir anpin from chochmah bina and daat, and zeir anpin imparts some of their energy to malchut….”

We have described the union of zeir anpin and nukva to be necessary in order to preserve the balance of consciousness between absrract inspiration and active inspiration, betweeen the desire to leave the world and become absorbed in Divine consciousness and the desire to make the world into a fitting setting for Divine consciousness to flourish.  These are the male and female aspects of consciousness (of both men and women)m resoectively.  The male must couple with the emaline in order to be properly oriented toward the purpose of life, while hte female must couple with the male in order to preseve her perspetive and not all prey to the forces of non-divine consciousness (evil)….

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From Rabbi Nachman Torah 48

torah 48

ליקוטי תפילות לתורה מח (להתפלל בכל הכח)

אות תרטו “שׁוֹמֵעַ תְפִילָּה עָדֶיךָ כָּל בָּשָׂר יָבוֹאוּ הַאֲזִינָה יְהוָה תְּפִלָּתִי וְהַקְשִׁיבָה בְּקוֹל תַּחֲנוּנוֹתָי שְׁמַע יְהוָה קוֹל תַּחֲנוּנַי בְּשַׁוְּעִי אֵלֶיךָ בְּנָשְׂאִי יָדַי אֶל דְּבִיר קָדְשֶׁךָ” צוּר עוֹלָמִים, יוֹצֵר הַכּל, עָזְרֵנוּ וְהוֹשִׁיעֵנוּ בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים וּבַחֲסָדֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים, שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה תָמִיד לְהִתְפַּלֵּל לְפָנֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת בְּכָל כּחֵנוּ כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב. “כָּל עַצְמוֹתַי תּאמַרְנָה יְהוָה מִי כָמוֹךָ” וְנִזְכֶּה לְהַכְנִיס כָּל הַכּחוֹת שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּנוּ בַּעֲצָמוֹת וְגִידִים וּבָשָׂר וְכָל שְׁאָר הַכּחוֹת שֶׁבְּגוּפִי וְנַפְשִׁי כֻּלָּם אֶזְכֶּה בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ לְהַכְנִיסָם בְּתוֹךְ דִּבּוּרֵי הַתְפִילָּה, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהוֹצִיא כָּל דִּבּוּר וְדִבּוּר שֶׁל הַתְפִילָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה בְּכחַ גָּדוֹל בֶּאֱמֶת לַאֲמִתּוֹ, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהַרְגִּישׁ הַדִּבּוּר בְּכָל עַצְמוֹתַי וְאֵבָרַי חוּס וְחָנֵּנִי וְרַחֵם עָלַי וְהוֹשִׁיעֵנִי וְזַכֵּנִי לִתְפִילָּה בְּכחַ וּבְכַוָּנָה גְדוֹלָה בֶּאֱמֶת, כִּי אַתָּה אֱל�הִים אֱמֶת וּדְבָרְךָ אֱמֶת וְקַיָּם לָעַד, וְאַתָּה חָפֵץ בָּאֱמֶת,

May I merit to pray before you always truthfully with all of my strength as it says “all of my bones will say Hashem who is like you”. And may I merit to put all of the strength in my bones, tendons, flesh, and all of my bodily energies, and my soul. All of these with your compassion may I merit to infuse into the words of my prayers until I can feel it for myself that these energies are in the words themselves. Bring my salvation and merit that I may pray to you with all my strength and kavanah in truth for YOU are Elokim Emes and your words are truth and permanent forever and you desire truth.

וְאַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ כַּמָּה אֲנִי רָחוֹק מִדִּבּוּר אֶחָד שֶׁל הַתְפִילָּה וְל�א דַי שֶׁאֵינִי יָכוֹל לְהִתְפַּלֵּל בְּכחַ וּבְכַוָּנָה בֶּאֱמֶת, כָּרָאוּי אַף גַּם בַּעֲווֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים אֲנִי רָחוֹק מִתְפִילָּה בְּתַכְלִית הָרִחוּק “דַּלּוּ עֵינַי לַמָּרוֹם” רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, “שִׁטַּחְתִּי אֵלֶיךָ כַפָּי אֵלֶיךָ יְהוָה נַפְשִׁי אֶשָּׂא”, וְאֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ בְּאֵיזֶה דֶּרֶךְ בְּאֵיזֶה אפֶן, בְּאֵיזֶה תַחְבּוּלָה, לְבַקֵּשׁ וּלְרַצּוֹת וּלְפַיֵּס אוֹתְךָ וְאֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ כְּלָל לָשִׁית עֵצוֹת בְּנַפְשִׁי, בְּאֵיזֶה אפֶן אֶזְכֶּה לְחַפֵּשׂ וְלִמְצא הַטּוֹב הַכָּבוּשׁ בִּי, וְאֵיךְ לִמְצא הַטּוֹב שֶׁנִּסְתַּלֵּק מִמֶּנִּי בַּעֲווֹנוֹתַי הָעֲצוּמִים וְהָרַבִּים וְהַגְּדוֹלִים מְאד בְּמַהוּת וְכַמּוּת וְאֵיכוּת וּבִפְרָט מַה שֶּׁפָּגַמְתִּי בִּפְגַם הַדִּבּוּר הַרְבֵּה מְאד, כִּי ל�א שָׁמַרְתִּי פִתְחֵי פִי וְדִבַּרְתִּי כַמָּה וְכַמָּה דִּבּוּרִים פְּגוּמִים מִיּוֹם הֱיוֹתִי עַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה, עַד אֵין שִׁעוּר וְעֵרֶךְ וּמִסְפָּר, דְּבָרִים בְּטֵלִים וּלְשׁוֹן הָרָע וּרְכִילוּת וְלֵיצָנוּת וּשְׁקָרִים וְנִבּוּל פֶּה, וּשְׁאָר דְּבָרִים פְּגוּמִים הַרְבֵּה מְאד וְגַם אֲפִלּוּ כָל הַדִּבּוּרִים דִּקְדֻשָּׁה שֶׁלִּי כֻּלָּם פְּגוּמִים מְאד מְאד, עַד אֲשֶׁר חִשַּׁבְתִּי דְרָכָי אֲשֶׁר מֵעוֹלָם ל�א יָצָא מִפִּי עֲדַיִן דִּבּוּר שָׁלֵם בְּלִי שׁוּם פְּגָם וּמַחֲמַת זֶה הִתְגַּבְּרוּ עָלֵינוּ מְאד רִיב לְשׁוֹנוֹת, אֲשֶׁר רַבִּים קָמִים עָלֵינוּ, רַבִּים מְאד “יִתְיַצְּבוּ מַלְכֵי אֶרֶץ וְרוֹזְנִים נוֹסְדוּ יָחַד עַל יְהוָה וְעַל מְשִׁיחוֹ שַׁתּוּ בַשָּׁמַיִם פִּיהֶם וּלְשׁוֹנָם תִּהֲלַךְ בָּאָרֶץ” יֵצֵא עָתָק מִפִּיהֶם וְדוֹבְרִים סָרָה עַל יְהוָה וְעַל צַדִּיקִים אֲמִתִּיִּים, וְעַל כְּלָלִיּוּת יִשְׂרָאֵל עַמְּךָ הַקָּדוֹשׁ אֲשֶׁר בָּהֶם בָּחָרְתָּ אות תרטז מָרֵיהּ דְּעַלְמָא כּלָּא “שְׁלַח יָדֶיךָ מִמָּרוֹם, פְּצֵנִי וְהַצִּילֵנִי מִמַּיִם רַבִּים מִיַּד בְּנֵי נֵכָר, אֲשֶׁר פִּיהֶם דִּבֶּר שָׁוְא וִימִינָם יְמִין שָׁקֶר” אוֹי לְנַפְשִׁי כִּי אָנכִי גָּרַמְתִּי כָּל זֶה בַּעֲווֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים וְהֶאֱרַכְתִּי אֶת הַגָּלוּת,

And not only am I unable to pray to you yet in truth but due to my various mistakes and sins I am very far away to the point where “my poor eyes seek you from above and I raise my hands to you above”. And more specifically I have damaged the power of speech by speaking many damaging words from the beginning of my life until now. And especially that I have spoken lashon hora, rechilus, mockery, lies, deceit, cursing and swearing, etc. As a result of this I have caused strife and quarrel. As you know this leads to our enemies having the power to obscure your truth in the world and to mock the Jewish people, their leadership, and the process of redemption and mashiyach as it says regarding the outside world “that their mouths speak emptiness and their right hand is deceitful.

וּפָגַמְתִּי בְּסֻכַּת דָּוִד הַנּפֶלֶת וְל�א דַי שֶׁלּ�א הִשְׁתַּדַּלְתִּי לְהָקִים סֻכַּת דָּוִד אַף גַּם בַּעֲווֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים הוֹסַפְתִּי לְהַפִּילָה יוֹתֵר וְהִגְבַּרְתִּי סֻכַּת נוֹצְרִים לְשׁוֹנוֹת הָעֲכּוּ”ם, עַד אֲשֶׁר בַּעֲווֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים הַשְּׁכִינָה וּכְנֶסֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל הֵם בְּגָלוּת גָּדוֹל, וְהִיא רִיב בְּגָלוּתָהּ עַל בְּנָהָא אֲשֶׁר גָּלוּ מִשֻּׁלְחַן אֲבִיהֶם וּמֵאַרְצָם יָצָאוּ.

Through my misuse of the power of speech I have damaged the Sukkas David [Beis Hamikdash] not only have I not built it and established it but through my mistakes and sins I have made its fall even greater and strengthened the Sukkah of Notzrim built by the speech of the nations of the world. So much that the Shechinah is in a deep Galus.

אות תריז רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם רְאֵה בְצָרוֹתֵינוּ הַמְרֻבּוֹת מְאד, וְהַכְּבֵדוֹת מְאד, הָאֲרֻכּוֹת מְאד וּבְכָל יוֹם וָיוֹם אָנוּ צוֹעֲקִים וּמִתְחַנְּנִים לִפְנֵי כִסֵּא כְבוֹדֶךָ, שֶׁתַּחֲזִירֵנוּ בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ, וַעֲדַיִן ל�א שַׁבְנוּ מִטָּעוּתֵנוּ וּשְׁטוּתֵנוּ מָלֵא רַחֲמִים עֲזר וְהוֹשִׁיעַ וְרַחֵם וְהַצֵּל, חוּס וַחֲמל חוּס וַחֲמל עַל מֻטְבָּע בִּיוֵן מְצוּלוֹת תַּאֲוֹת הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה עַל מְגרָשׁ מֵאֶרֶץ הַחַיִּים כָּמוֹנִי עַל פָּגוּם כָּמוֹנִי, עַל לֵב “עִקֵּשׁ וּפְתַלְתּל” כָּמנִי הֲרֵי אֲנִי לְפָנֶיךָ כְּלִי מָלֵא בוּשָׁה וּכְלִמָּה יְהִי רָצוֹן מִלְּפָנֶיךָ יְהוָה אֱל�הֵינוּ וֵאל�הֵי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ שֶׁלּ�א אֶחֱטָא עוֹד עָזְרֵנִי עָזְרֵנִי הוֹשִׁיעֵנִי הוֹשִׁיעֵנִי חָנֵּנִי וַהֲקִימֵנִי חָנֵּנִי וַהֲקִימֵנִי, “מַצִּיל עָנִי מֵחָזָק מִמֶּנּוּ וְעָנִי וְאֶבְיוֹן מִגּוֹזְלוֹ” הַצִּילֵנִי וּמַלְּטֵנִי וּפְדֵנִי “יְהוָה עָשְׁקָה לִי עָרְבֵנִי” אות תריח אָבִי שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם רַחֵם עָלַי אָבִי שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם חֲמל עָלַי אָבִי שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם הֱיֵה בְעֶזְרִי וְחַזְּקֵנִי וְאַמְּצֵנִי וַעֲשֵׂה אֶת אֲשֶׁר בְּחֻקֶּיךָ אֵלֵךְ וְאֶת מִשְׁפָּטֶיךָ אֶשְׁמר, שֶׁלּ�א אוֹבַד אֶת עוֹלָמִי בְּחִנָּם חַס וְשָׁלוֹם כִּי כָל יָמֵינוּ הֵם הֶבֶל וָרִיק, כַּחֲלוֹם יָעוּף וּכְצֵל עוֹבֵר, וּכְעָנָן כָּלָה, וּכְרוּחַ נוֹשָׁבֶת, וּכְאָבָק פּוֹרֵחַ אוֹי אוֹי אוֹי, אוֹי וַאֲבוֹי, אֲהָהּ אֲדוֹנִי, אֲהָהּ אָבִי, רַחֲמָן אֲמִתִּי רַחֵם עָלַי, חַסְדָּן אֲמִתִּי, עַשֵׂה עִמִּי חֶסֶד חִנָּם, וְתֵן לִי חֲנִינָה וְל�א אוֹבַד גּוֹאֵל חָזָק לְמַעַנְךָ גְּאָלֵנִי חָנֵּנִי בִּקְדֻשַּׁת יִשְׂרָאֵל בְּמַתְּנַת חִנָּם וְנִדְבַת חֶסֶד, כִּי אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁאֵין לִי שׁוּם תִּקְוָה כִּי אִם לִצְעק אֵלֶיךָ וְלִזְעק לַחֲנִינוֹתֶיךָ קָרוֹב לְכָל קוֹרְאָיו עֲנֵנִי מָרוֹם לְעוֹלָם יְהוָה עָזְרֵנִי קָדוֹשׁ עַל כָּל הַקְּדֻשּׁוֹת בִּקְדֻשָּׁתְךָ קַדְּשֵׁנִי יְהוָה אֱל�הִים אֱמֶת זַכֵּנִי לִקְדֻשָּׁתְךָ בֶּאֱמֶת הָקֵם סֻכָּתְךָ הַנּוֹפֶלֶת נְפִילָה אַחַר נְפִילָה בְּלִי שִׁעוּר וָעֵרֶךְ וּמִסְפָּר, עַד אֲשֶׁר אֵין מִי שֶׁיּוּכַל לַהֲקִימָהּ כִּי אִם אַתָּה לְבַד בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים וּבַחֲסָדֶיךָ הַגְּנוּזִים הָקִימָה מְהֵרָה תְקוּמָה אַחַר תְּקוּמָה, מִבִּירָא עֲמִיקְתָּא לְאִגְּרָא רָמָא אות תריט מָלֵא רַחֲמִים מַרְבֶּה לְהֵטִיב, הֲפךְ אֶת לְבָבִי מֵרַע לְטוֹב הַט לִבִּי אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת כִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב עָזְרֵנִי שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְקַדֵּשׁ עַצְמִי בְּכָל מִינֵי קְדֻשּׁוֹת וּבִפְרָט בִּקְדֻשַּׁת בְּרִית הַלָּשׁוֹן וּבְרִית הַמָּעוֹר עָזְרֵנִי שֶׁלּ�א יֵצֵא שׁוּם דְּבַר שֶׁקֶר מִפִּי לְעוֹלָם, וְל�א שׁוּם דִּבּוּר פָּגוּם וְאֶזְכֶּה לִשְׁמר פִּתְחֵי פִי וְזַכֵּנִי לְהִתְפַּלֵּל תְּפִלָּתִי לְפָנֶיךָ בְּכָל כּחִי וּבְכַוָּנָה גְדוֹלָה בֶּאֱמֶת לַאֲמִתּוֹ וְאֶהְיֶה נִכְלָל בְּךָ בִּשְׁעַת תְּפִלָּתִי, עַד שֶׁכָּל דִּבְרֵי תְפִלָּתִי יִהְיוּ דִבְרֵי יְהוָה בְּעַצְמָן וְיִתְעוֹרְרוּ עַל יְדֵי תְפִלָּתִי כ”ח [כָּף חֵית] אָתְוָן דְּמַעֲשֵׂה בְרֵאשִׁית, שֶׁהֵם עֲשָׂרָה מַאֲמָרוֹת שֶׁבָּהֶם נִבְרָא הָעוֹלָם וְעַל יְדֵי זֶה תַמְשִׁיךְ חַסְדְּךָ הַגָּדוֹל עָלֵינוּ, וְתִפְרס עָלֵינוּ סֻכַּת שְׁלוֹמֶךָ, וּתְחַבֵּק אוֹתָנוּ בִּימִינֶךָ, וְנִזְכֶּה לְהִסְתּוֹפֵף בְּצִלְּךָ הַקָּדוֹשׁ וְתָגֵן בַּעֲדֵנוּ וְתַצִּילֵנוּ מִכָּל אוֹיְבֵנוּ וְשׂוֹנְאֵינוּ וְרוֹדְפֵינוּ בְּגַשְׁמִיּוּת וּבְרוּחָנִיּוּת וּבְצֵל כְּנָפֶיךָ תַּסְתִּירֵנוּ וִיקֻיַּם בָּנוּ מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב. “שְׂמאלוֹ תַּחַת לְראשִׁי וִימִינוֹ תְּחַבְּקֵנִי”

So please help me to merit to pray with all of my energy and with true kavanah so I may be connected and included with you during prayer. May the 28 letters used in the 10 utterances of creation be aroused through the strength of the words and letters of my prayer. Through this may your life giving force of chessed be drawn down into the world. And through this may you spread the Sukkah of your protection over us like a loving hug and may we merit to feel the warmth of your love and thus protect us from all of our enemies and all the evil forces who are represented in the Sukkas Notzrim the shadow of the forces of evil. Protect us physically and spiritually from all the negative influences like the spirit of the verse “His left hand is under my head and His right hand hugs me”

אות תרכ וְתַעַזְרֵנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ וּבַחֲסָדֶיךָ הָרַבִּים שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לְקַיֵּם מִצְוַת סֻכָּה בִּזְמַנָּהּ כָּרָאוּי עִם כָּל פְּרָטֶיהָ וְדִקְדּוּקֶיהָ וְכַוָּנוֹתֶיהָ וְתַרְיַ”ג מִצְוֹת הַתְּלוּיִם בָּהּ, וּבְלֵב טוֹב וּבְשִׂמְחָה גְדוֹלָה וְתַכְנִיעַ וְתַשְׁפִּיל וּתְמַגֵּר וְתַעֲקר וּתְבַטֵּל סֻכַּת נוֹצְרִים סֻכַּת עַכּוּ”ם “אֲשֶׁר פִּיהֶם דִּבֶּר שָׁוְא וִימִינָם יְמִין שָׁקֶר” וּתְבַטֵּל הַשֶּׁקֶר מִן הָעוֹלָם, וְתַגְבִּיר הָאֱמֶת בָּעוֹלָם, וְתָקִים אֶת סֻכַּת דָּוִד הַנּפָלֶת וִיקֻיַּם מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב. “שְׂפַת אֱמֶת תִּכּוֹן לָעַד, וְעַד אַרְגִּיעָה לְשׁוֹן שָׁקֶר” וְתַסְתִּיר וְתַצְפִּין אוֹתָנוּ בְּסֻכָּתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה, וּתְסוֹכֵךְ עָלֵינוּ בְּצִלְּךָ הַקָּדוֹשׁ, וְתַצִּילֵנִי מֵרִיב לְשׁוֹנוֹת שֶׁלּ�א יִהְיֶה לָהֶם שׁוּם כּחַ עָלֵינוּ כְּלָל וְתַעֲקר הַשֶּׁקֶר מִן הָעוֹלָם, וּתְגַלֶּה הָאֱמֶת בָּעוֹלָם וּתְזַכֵּנִי מְהֵרָה לָבוֹא לְאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל לָאָרֶץ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה חִישׁ קַל מְהֵרָה. אות תרכא וְזַכֵּנוּ בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים לְבָנִים חַיִּים וְקַיָּמִים לַעֲבוֹדָתְךָ וּלְיִרְאָתְךָ וּלְתוֹרָתֶךָ (כשרוצה להתפלל על מי שיש לו צער גידול בנים ר”ל יזכירו כאן ויאמר וּבִּפְרָט לפב”פ וכו’) חוּס וַחֲמל וְרַחֵם וְתֵן לְבָנֵינוּ וְלִבְנוֹתֵינוּ וּלְכָל יוֹצְאֵי חֲלָצֵינוּ חַיִּים טוֹבִים וַאֲרוּכִים (וּבִפְרָט לְהַיֶּלֶד פב”פ וכו’ וּלְהַיַּלְדָּה פב”פ וכו’) רַחֵם עֲלֵיהֶם וְעָלֵינוּ בִּזְכוּת אֲבוֹתָם, וְתֵן לָהֶם חַיִּים טוֹבִים וַאֲרֻכִּים, וְתַאֲרִיךְ יְמֵיהֶם וּשְׁנוֹתָם יֶהֱמוּ נָא וְיִכְמְרוּ נָא רַחֲמֶיךָ עֲלֵיהֶם וְעָלֵינוּ, וְתֹאמַר דַּי לְצָרוֹתָם “הֵיטִיבָה יְהוָה לַטּוֹבִים וְלִישָׁרִים בְּלִבּוֹתָם” יְהִי שָׁלוֹם בְּחֵילָם שַׁלְוָה בְּאַרְמְנוֹתָם “אֵין פֶּרֶץ וְאֵין יוֹצֵאת וְאֵין צְוָחָה” בִּרְחוֹבוֹתָם, לָעַד וּלְדוֹרוֹת, וּלְדוֹרוֹת דּוֹרוֹתָם רֵאשִׁיתָם מִצְעָר, יִשְׂגֶּה מְאד אַחֲרִיתָם כַּאֲשֶׁר הַשָּׁמַיִם הַחֲדָשִׁים וְהָאָרֶץ הַחֲדָשָׁה, כֵּן יַעֲמד זַרְעָם וּשְׁמוֹתָם וְתַצִּיל אוֹתָם וְכָל יַלְדֵי עַמְּךָ בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל מֵעַיִן הָרָע וּמִפֶּגַע רָע וּמִכָּל מִינֵי נֶגַע וּמַחֲלָה וְתִשְׁלַח לָהֶם רְפוּאָה שְׁלֵמָה מִן הַשָּׁמַיִם לְכָל רְמַ”ח אֵבָרֵיהֶם וּשְׁסָ”ה גִידֵיהֶם וְיִזְכּוּ לִהְיוֹת חַיִּים בְּרִיאִים וְקַיָּמִים יְבַלּוּ יְמֵיהֶם בַּטּוֹב וּשְׁנוֹתֵיהֶם בַּנְּעִימִים וְנִזְכֶּה שֶׁיֵּצְאוּ מֵהֶם דּוֹרוֹת הַרְבֵּה וְדוֹרֵי דוֹרוֹת עַד סוֹף כָּל הַדּוֹרוֹת רַחֵם עֲלֵיהֶם וְעָלֵינוּ לְמַעַן שְׁמֶךָ, וּתְגַדְּלֵם לְתוֹרָה וּלְחֻפָּה וּלְמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים, לְארֶךְ יָמִים וְשָׁנִים “עוֹד יְנוּבוּן בְּשֵׂיבָה דְּשֵׁנִים וְרַעֲנַנִּים יִהְיוּ”.

Hashem nullify the sheker from the world and strengthen the truth and through this build the fallen Sukkah of David. Protect us from quarrel and machlokes and through this speedily bring us to the land of Israel where your truth is revealed. And may we merit with mercy children who live truthfully for your service, for your Yirah, and for your Torah.

אות תרכב מָלֵא רַחֲמִים צְרָכֵינוּ מְרֻבִּים וְדַעְתֵּנוּ קְצָרָה לְבָאֵר וּלְפָרֵשׁ אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ אֶת כָּל מַחְסוֹרֵינוּ מַלֵּא מִשְׁאֲלוֹתֵינוּ לְטוֹבָה בְּרַחֲמִים לְמַעַנְךָ וְל�א לְמַעֲנֵנוּ חוּס וַחֲמל עָלַי וְזַכֵּנִי לָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת וּבְלֵב שָׁלֵם, וְלַעֲשׂוֹת רְצוֹנְךָ בֶּאֱמֶת כָּל יְמֵי חַיַּי, וְל�א אָשׁוּב עוֹד לְכִסְלָה “אִם אָוֶן פָּעַלְתִּי ל�א אוֹסִיף” רַחֵם עָלַי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים וְזַכֵּנִי לִהְיוֹת כִּרְצוֹנְךָ בֶּאֱמֶת מֵעַתָּה וְעַד עוֹלָם וּתְגַלֶּה הָאֱמֶת בָּעוֹלָם, וְיָשׁוּבוּ כָל בָּאֵי עוֹלָם אֵלֶיךָ לְעָבְדְּךָ בֶּאֱמֶת בְּיִרְאָה וְאַהֲבָה וִיקֻיַּם מְהֵרָה מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב. “כִּי אָז אֶהְפּךְ אֶל כָּל הָעַמִּים שָׂפָה בְרוּרָה לִקְרא כֻלָּם בְּשֵׁם יְהוָה לְעָבְדוֹ שְׁכֶם אֶחָד אֱמֶת מֵאֶרֶץ תִּצְמָח וְצֶדֶק מִשָּׁמַיִם נִשְׁקָף גַם יְהוָה יִתֵּן הַטּוֹב וְאַרְצֵנוּ תִתֵּן יְבוּלָהּ חֶסֶד וֶאֱמֶת נִפְגָּשׁוּ צֶדֶק וְשָׁלוֹם נָשָׁקוּ” וּבְרַחֲמֶיךָ וַחֲסָדֶיךָ הַגְּדוֹלִים תְּפַיֵּס וּתְרַצֶּה אֶת שְׁכִינַת עֻזֶּךָ וּכְנֶסֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁתָּשִׁיב פָּנֶיהָ אֵלֶיךָ וְיִהְיֶה נַעֲשֶׂה יִחוּד קֻדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא וּשְׁכִינְתֵּיהּ, פָּנִים בְּפָנִים וְאַל תַּסְתֵּר פָּנֶיךָ מֵאִתָּנוּ עוֹד וְתִשְׁלַח לָנוּ צַדִּיקִים וְרַבָּנִים אֲמִתִּיִּים שֶׁיּוֹרוּ לָנוּ אֶת הַדֶּרֶךְ הַטּוֹב וְהַיָּשָׁר אֶת הַדֶּרֶךְ אֲשֶׁר נֵלֵךְ בָּהּ וְאֶת הַמַּעֲשֶׂה אֲשֶׁר נַעֲשֶׂה וְתַצִּיל אוֹתָנוּ מֵהַמַּנְהִיג וְרַבִּי שֶׁל שֶׁקֶר קָרְבֵנוּ לִישׁוּעָתֶךָ, עָזְרֵנוּ בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ, הַחֲיֵנוּ בְּאוֹר פָּנֶיךָ שַׂבְּעֵנוּ מִטּוּבֶךָ וַחֲסָדֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים, גְּמל עָלֵינוּ חֲסָדִים טוֹבִים, “חַסְדֵי דָוִד הַנֶּאֱמָנִים” וּמֵאוֹצַר מַתְּנַת חִנָּם חָנֵּנוּ וְקַיֵּם לָנוּ מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב. “וָאָשִׂים דְּבָרַי בְּפִיךָ וּבְצֵל יָדִי כִּסִּיתִיךָ לִנְטעַ שָׁמַיִם וְלִיסוֹד אָרֶץ וְלֵאמר לְצִיּוֹן עַמִּי אָתָּה” חָנֵּנוּ וַעֲנֵנוּ וּשְׁמַע תְּפִלָּתֵנוּ בְּרַחֲמִים כִּי אַתָּה שׁוֹמֵעַ תְּפִלַּת כָּל פֶּה “יִהְיוּ לְרָצוֹן אִמְרֵי פִי וְהֶגְיוֹן לִבִּי לְפָנֶיךָ

Resolving Shame

A Tu B’Av message – All we want is You Hashem! Please help us!

Emunah Zoom

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A closer look at our point of feeling disconnected and a way to ask to reconnect

A Tu B’Av message – All we want is You Hashem! Please help us!

 

It is up to us. All We Want is You, Hashem.  Please Help Us!

(A dynamic prayer is at the bottom of this article, which introduces the various Torah concepts to help us pray meaningfully with full hearts)

What does it mean to unify our soul and to cling to Hashem?

What if the only real task we have in this world is to protect and guard our soul from being drawn down by the downward pulls of the world? And what if doing so means that we are making an effort to be like Hashem in lieu of our natural responses?

What if the design of the way a child is born and matures guarantees that a part of our soul is involved with the downward pulls and that the task of guarding our soul requires that our first step is to ask Hashem to rescue our soul from the downward pulls and then to help us guard it?

 

Do we see the elevated consciousness and the total emunah and bitachon involved?

What if the part we ask Hashem to rescue from the downward pulls is, in fact, the very strength we need to guard our soul from the downward pulls as well as the strength through which our tzelem elokim – our compassion that reflects Hashem’s compassion – becomes enabled to be expressed in the material and physical world, with help from Hashem?

If we understood that Hashem has designed the world so that we have a real opportunity to make a free willed choice to be like Him over our natural urges, nullifying the material and physical world in favor of the abstract spiritual reality, would this change the way we approach every moment?

When we feel angry, afraid, challenged, insecure, searching for validation or honor, feeling judgmental with an urge to say or do something retaliatory, would this change our perspective on what the real task is?

Are we interested in pursuing a path to peace of mind that is a byproduct of our effort alone?

What gives us the greatest pleasure?

How are these questions relevant to unifying our soul and clinging to Hashem and being like Hashem?

 

The greatest pleasure is to feel the pleasure of being in relationship with Hashem not only as a receiver of His Good, but more importantly as being enabled to exert an effort as part of that absolute Oneness of His Compassion that has potential to affect the Creation

Torah teaches us that the greatest pleasure possible for a man is the soul’s pleasure of connection to Hashem.  We may not feel the pleasure of a connection to Hashem – the pleasure of a mitzvah – directly; however, Torah teaches us that there is, indeed, with every mitzvah a pleasure involved for the soul.  Surely we can understand this in terms of the hereafter. The Torah principle is that the reward for a mitzvah is the mitzvah itself. The reward for making a connection to Hashem is the connection itself.

Do we have the emunah and bitachon in “Hashem is One” to comprehend how the connection itself is a reward? We consider a reward to be something pleasant.  That pleasure is not a handout. It is the actual reality of the universe. However, if we do not make an effort, it WILL feel like a handout, and there will be a sense of being separate in that we are taking from the Giver.

The absolute essence of the universe is Hashem’s compassion.  Nothing can exist except by virtue of His Creating it. Everything Hashem creates is filled with His compassion, although it may be covered over and not appear that way since Hashem hides in this world in order to give us free will and the opportunity to make an effort to bring the Divine characteristic of lovingkindness to fill the voids experienced in the world.

 

Hashem desires a dwelling place in our hearts so that He may be revealed in this world through our speech and deeds

Hashem hides so that in our effort to reveal Him, that effort we make alleviates the reality of us being created beings and not essentially Hashem (although made in His Image).  By choosing to make an effort to reveal Him, we use a causative force called free will, ratzon. Because we are given the ability to cause a revelation, because making a causative creative effort is being like Hashem, that act of choosing inoculates us from feeling a lack as a creation when we see Hashem’s Oneness and ourselves a creation connected to that absolute compassion.  We act and earn something by willing a causative act that reveals Him.

When we use our free will to comprehend deeply that in every moment, Hashem gives us the opportunity to be creative in perfecting our characteristics – taking them from the natural condition to a level of being able to reveal Hashem’s attributes of mercy as we are potentially enabled to do because we are made in His Image – we are, in fact, being like Hashem within the microdot of our consciousness – our lifetime, our unique universe.

In our unique universe, when we use free will and ask Hashem to please help us rise above our nature so that we may act from our tzelem elokim instead of what is natural*(please see footnote below), this use of free will and speech impacts  our unique universe – we create our eternal identity just by trying to be like Hashem. And in the material and physical reality, our action that we have made the effort to take, based on being made in His Image, somehow brings an influence into the world which Hashem may or may not use, as He sees fit.

We have REAL free will to choose to emulate Hashem

Think about it.  What bodily functions do we actually have complete and total control over?   Rabbi Kessin teaches that even lifting our hand is an outcome of will. We will to lift our hand or type or do anything and an angel then makes it happen.  It seems to us as though it is our effort to lift our hand that makes it move, but in reality it is our will to lift our hand that is granted a “yes” that makes it move.

We are created.  There is a Creator.  The Creator runs the world completely, totally, to every detail, to every thought, to every emotion.  We have perceptions and experiences of those perceptions. And it is in the interpretations and the will that we form from those interpretations that we can express our love for Hashem and our desire for the relationship that He Designs us for.  How? By using our will to reveal His Oneness.

If our will is focused on something other than the will of Hashem and His Purpose in the design of the world, all too often we may unintentionally either do something damaging or we may miss an opportunity to make a connection to Hashem that helps us build our eternal identity and experience peace of mind in this world.  Unless we learn Torah, our natural condition is that our soul follows the suggestions of our instincts and drives, which are under the domain of the Soton. With understanding that Hashem is One, while we feel a mixture of emotions, asking Hashem to help us emulate His lovingkindness reveals our love relationship with Hashem and our trust that our survival is in His Hands alone.

Run and return – a dynamic process

Understanding the purpose of shame

By making the effort to use our will asking to be able to rise above nature in order to  act like Hashem, we innocuate ourselves from eternal shame

Is it possible to stay conscious of Hashem to seek to make connection and soul correction?  We are in a fallen world and we wax and wane in consciousness. Our effort to make the connection and to accomplish a soul correction is a ratzo v’shov, a run and return.  However, we can learn a process and familiarize ourselves with it so that when we are in a challenge, we have more consciousness – more integrated understanding of Torah and Hashem’s attributes of mercy – to guide us before we speak or act.  It is the process itself of running and returning that produces a positive influence. This is the purpose for which we are created, to do the work of using will to ask Hashem to do the fixing of the eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and then, once we have a process for clarifying our mind and heart – unifying our heart and mind and somehow repairing the eating of the tree of the knowledge of  good and evil – to then make Hashem’s will our will – to truly bow our natural drives stemming from being a creation and not Hashem Himself. Only Hashem can turn tuma into tahor, damage into holiness. But we can use free will to ask and to describe where the purification is needed and where we need His Compassion to walk past our natural drives.

Let’s look more at the amazing gift of real, causative free will and choosing to do Hashem’s will.

In Rabbi Kessin’s Derech Hashem shiur on free will and the bread of shame, he describes the basic source of our emotional distress.  To summarize it, he says that our feelings of inadequacy come along with a feeling of shame. The feeling of shame is something that the angels also feel.  He said that being a created being means inherently that we are not Hashem and that awareness, that consciousness, feels like inadequacy. Shame is built into being a creation that has consciousness and awareness that it is a creation and must be given to by the Creator, unable to truly fulfill its own needs in totality.  The purpose of shame is so that we are conscious and aware of Hashem and involve ourselves in relationship with Him as a created being, motivating us to choose to act like Hashem not only to alleviate the feelings of deficiency but to actually create eternal identity free of the feeling of shame inherent in being a created being.

Thus, when we are not aware of the purpose of shame, which is given to us by Hashem so that we may use the amazing gift of free will to participate in perfecting our characteristics, the shame can become hijacked by the false beliefs inherent in the material and physical world.  With a real free will that is causative of influence in this world, we are given a Divine capability to create our own image. In being given the use of a creative force with real free will, we can choose to ask Hashem to help us emulate Hashem. In so doing, we eradicate the experience of shame by properly using the causative free will that Hashem has given us to ask Hashem to please redeem our soul from the confines of the negative experience of shame we may be otherwise feeling due to being perceived by others as inadequate in their eyes and the corresponding feelings of shame that then shut us down.  The effort of trying to be close to Hashem brings an inner shift, a movement within, that we call peace of mind. The effort comes from our ability to be like Hashem and to choose to “let Hashem in” – into the darkness, into the matter, to bring Hashem into the picture. The effort “circumcises our hearts” from the natural reactions so that our soul that feels shame that is trapped in that dark place can re-join the true reality, that of being made in His Image and capable of emulating His Compassion. It is this part of us from the natural that gets released that, because it also contains a drop of the animal soul that held it for so long, can become the chariot through which our hearts bring compassion into the world in speech and deed.

Once experienced, we begin to see more and more opportunities within our negative whirlwind emotional reactions.  We begin to understand more and more about what we are here to fix. We begin to understand more and more about what we are here to reveal – our inner essence that is made in His Image.

What control do we really think we have in any other area?  If we only have control over one thing and that is to make the effort to be close to Hashem and to connect to Hashem, to be conscious of Hashem, what holds us back from doing it?

Why ask Hashem to help us reveal Him when we are blocked in the moment?

Happiness seems to come from so many other places.  Our will to take these steps comes from a deep love for Hashem, which is gratitude as well as realization that His Plan for us is, in fact, what we want – an eternity without shame!  The more we integrate these ideas in our heart, the more we feel compassion in the moment that we may reveal.

The more we integrate these ideas in our heart, the more we can walk past the downward pulls of the material and physical world.  OUr primary purpose is to use our free will to ask Hashem to help us nullify the impact on our imagination that the lures of the material and physical world whisper in favor of the clarity and consciousness of what Torah tells us regarding the choice to yearn for the simple happiness and inner peace and clarity of revealing Hashem’s compassion in this world – that the effort produces happiness for all eternity..

From where does the strength to reveal Hashem in our speech and deeds come?  When we are in such turmoil, we are empowered through prayer and through the mitzvahs of love and awe of Hashem to  turn that around

The more we integrate these ideas in our heart, the more we realize that our initial natural reactions, when they bow to Hashem, have the heartfelt strength we need to protect our souls from the downward pulls all together.

The more we integrate these ideas, the more we realize that we may be creations but Hashem, in His Love for us, allows us to be creators within our own internal emotional universe.

What shall we choose for the atmosphere in our inner world?  Our natural set of emotions that are pulled and pushed by the material world or our emunah and will to feel and reveal compassion, to make a kiddush Hashem?

It is up to us.

It is up to us to make the effort.

It is up to us to make the effort to ask Hashem to help us emulate Him over our natural impulses.

It is up to us to ask Hashem to please help us make kiddush Hashem because we recognize we are creations and He is the Creator and we wish for Him to be revealed in this world through our speech and deeds, and if that is not His Will, at least may His Compassion be experienced in our inner world as inner peace for trying.

We can have inner peace because we ask Him to help us reveal His Compassion.  At a minimum, we trust that He answers corresponding to our efforts with an experience of His Compassion in the form of inner peace.

Eventually, with Hashem ‘s help, our hearts will feel it.

Eventually.  With Hashem’s help.

But we have to ask. And try. And investigate our false beliefs. And try again, with love for Hashem and awe in how He has designed the world.

Tu B’Av,the 15th of Av, is a day of love between Hashem and Am Yisrael.  Hashem, feel our love for You. We understand the design. We are IN!  Please help us reveal You in this world. All we want is to see a revelation of Hashem in this world.  That is our will.

Nachamu!!Nachamu!! Comfort us by saying yes to our plea to draw Your lovingkindness into the darkness. Please help us do Your Will.  All we want is YOU.

*footnote added

What happens when we ask Hashem to help us?

In order to ask Hashem to help us, first it is important to describe the natural reactions that are blocking us from feeling Hashem’s constant love and mercy.  The reason is that our natural reactions are being animated by a positive spiritual energy from our soul that is enlivening them.

It could be understood as the yetzer hara nourishing itself from our soul.

When Adom ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, Hashem changed the flow of compassion to Adom from being independent to being in competition with the forces of nature, the Soton.

The holiness of our soul, when we choose to follow Hashem’s will, is connected to Hashem and He bestows more compassion upon us.

However, when we follow nature, our soul falls into the grips and feeds the Soton, literally “wasting” its spiritual powers to the forces of darkness that do not have any eternity.  

Thus, to begin the request for Hashem’s help, it is important that we have a grasp of the landscape where our spiritual energy has been entrapped and following mundane goals and possibly with damaging outcomes.  This describing of our inventory of negativity is self-knowledge that helps us to realize the emotions and feelings that are our patterns. It is an investigation into the confusion within just as we examine ourselves in elul.

The more sincerely we understand where our imagination has strayed from truth, the more we truly see our error as false and not our essence that is made in Hashem’s Image.

Describing in detail the set of negative emotions and familiar patterns that often entrap us before we ask for Hashem’s help is a way of bringing the entire pattern or chain to teshuva, to return the spiritual energy animating the feelings and thoughts back to connection with Hashem.  Remember that the source of emotional upset is feeling inadequate and the corresponding shame. It is the shame that generates the charge against ourselves and others, survival instincts designed to preserve our self-image within a material and physical world.

How can we sincerely yearn to feel Hashem’s compassion when we are in survival mode and our urge is to do something damaging?

What do we wish to feel instead? In order to wish to feel compassion, it is important to cling to Torah.  The wisdom of the Torah helps us to rescue ourselves from actions that are based on imagination built on the wisdom of our survival instincts.  Rather, when we have trust in Hashem and Torah learning, our hearts are able to bow long enough to remember that our survival is entirely in Hashem’s Hand and that we do not do one thing except to make the effort to use our free will. How shall we choose?

Because the inner characteristic of Hashem is compassion, when we are conscious of Hashem, it follows that what we are hoping for is to reveal the tzelem elokim within that is made in the image of Hashem, Who is compassion, a loving and merciful King Who only does good.  The more emunah we have in Hashem and the more integrated knowledge of Hashem in our hearts, the more sincerely we desire to reveal tzelem elokim over our natural reactions. Much is in the way blocking this, however. We have the will, but how exactly do we use the will to make a difference when we feel so upset?

What dynamic process is there for us to turn to in order to unblock what conceals Hashem’s love and mercy?

How does Hashem create the world?

He Who is compassion utters words. His compassion becomes the soul of the material item that appears due to His utterances.  An object, thought or emotion appears that conceals the spiritual energy animating it…Hashem’s compassion.

Hashem speaks and fills, while hiding His Presence, everything in the world.  We can ask of Hashem to help us when He feels hidden. With love of Hashem and awe in the design in our heart, when we open our mouth in prayer and ask for His help, that intention has an effect. The effect reflects our sincere desire to cling to Him so that we may reveal compassion.  In the place within our makeup where Hashem’s Presence is hidden, when we open our hearts with love and awe just a pinhole, there is a release of the positive spiritual energy trapped in the dark. When that happens, our soul is unified AND its true essence of compassion is able to shine through, with help from Hashem added in.

Let’s take a closer look.

When we experience a negative feeling, thought or emotion, Hashem is hidden within it.  We are not experiencing Hashem as compassion in that moment, however, right?

But we want to. That is the goal of emunah and consciousness and effort, to sincerely want that relationship with Hashem. Thus emunah and consciousness of Hashem and Torah learning combined with our understanding and imagination to build or re-build ourselves are the ingredients and the intention for the effort.

Hashem gives us the creative power of speech, another ingredient.  And He gives us the mitzvahs of loving Hashem and having awe of Hashem, an innate although hidden ability within us that we inherit from the Avos.  We know with 100 percent certainty that the ability to love Hashem and have awe in Him and the design is there because Torah tells us that we are made in His Image, something of the spark of His Divine creative energy that is our life. Our emunah needs to be strong in seeing ourselves as a beam of light placed inside an instinctive-oriented coating placed inside a body.

Think for a moment…when WE love Hashem and have awe in Hashem, which are mitzvahs, does it not make sense that these are expressions of the same love and mercy from HASHEM that we are longing to feel?  They exist within our hearts as part of our tzelem elokim. They are mitzvahs that open the channel of connection. We are awakening our tzelem elokim through these mitzvahs, and that opens a channel that can bring a corresponding compassion to help us heal and reveal His compassion.

When we open these channels through performing the commandments of love and awe of Hashem, and we actually sincerely feel the love and the awe in the design, we have prepared ourselves to do something very creative. In that moment, we are ready to infuse lovingkindness into something we are going to speak out – namely the way we are naturally feeling. We have opened a pinhole to our heart. We begin the process of infusing love and compassion into something that hurts.

What happens next is how we are actually, on our small scale, given an opportunity to be G-d-like. And THAT effort is our innoculation against shame

We describe what we are feeling that is blocking us from feeling Hashem’s love and mercy and we are telling Hashem that we are blocked but do not want to be blocked.  WE WANT COMFORT from Hashem. Have mercy on us!

And why do we want this comfort?  We want to reveal Hashem’s love and mercy.  To really be able to act upon that, we want to feel His love and mercy in our hearts.

Thus, by opening the channels through loving Hashem and having awe in the design, we become conscious of Hashem is One and ourselves as creations that are part of that Oneness who are given real free will to infuse love of Hashem and awe of Hashem into the very place from which we find ourselves in pain or fear or anger.

Our intention is to infuse love and compassion where we otherwise feel anxious, angry, insulted, jealous, desirous, and other negative reactions. We want to conquer the “land.”  We want to have our essence enter the material and physical part of us.

How does this infusion take place?

The positive spiritual energy that is contained in all creations, including those emotions, is awaiting a reunion with its true desire, to reveal compassion.

The love and awe that we feel in our hearts is a magnet to which that positive spiritual energy is drawn out.

Our soul is unified with Hashem’s love and mercy because we made the effort to feel love for Hashem and recognize the design, out of consciousness of Hashem and awareness of the relationship that Torah teaches us is our purpose in being alive.

Imagine, the covering that is giving us a negative experience and blocking Hashem’s love and mercy is described to Hashem while feeling love and awe in the design.  We are asking that the positive spiritual energy in the pain join with the feeling of love and awe with which we choose to pray, and held together in our hearts, the spiritual energies merge. In merging, our soul is unified to tzelem elokim and and re-fills that part of our mind which previously interpreted the matter in a way that was painful. Hashem’s compassion, being hidden and animating something false, caused us pain – a feeling of shame – we had believed we were inadequate. A spark of energy from nature accompanies the merger and gives us entry for our nature to be changed. Our nature is more willing to bow to do Hashem’s will.

That former strong negative perception and understanding, through our effort to ask Hashem to help us cling to Hashem’s Oneness with love and awe, is infused and re-formed by our effort. Our true and sincere love for Hashem and our understanding and trust in the Torah that gives us awe in the design becomes a stronger platform for our imagination.  Instead of judgment and demonization, we have expanded our interpretation to an opportunity to create an eternal identity for ourselves as made in Hashem’s image, and our heart goes along because Hashem helps us unblock it just for that free willed choice,and our heart is re-strengthened, a heart of flesh.

How does this infusion happen?  It happens through Hashem’s compassion, simply through our choice, to use free will to make the effort to ask Hashem to please help us. When we choose to be compassionate and fulfill the purpose for which Hashem has made the world, He responds in kind and shows us compassion.

It is our choice to make the effort.  When we do, our very neurology that was a moment before blocking us from feeling Hashem’s love and mercy is now getting “cpr” from our love for Hashem and our awe in the design.  Once we make this choice, Hashem responds in kind and helps us clean off the dross to the degree of what we have asked sincerely, the dross that is our self-knowledge, the dross that was blocking us from feeling His Love and Mercy.  This gives us a sense of inner peace. We are constantly taking off layer by layer the dross, for our entire lives. It is an infinite path and the topic of our investigation in elul, to find our next step.

The actual circumstances that triggered our negativity are up to Hashem alone.  There are no guarantees. We can, though, count on a moment or more of clarity, of inner peace,  and of seeing growth in dealing with our life circumstances.

When we make His Will our will, He makes our will His Will, and no matter what, the outcome is accepted as the most just, loving and merciful outcome  because our soul is unified with His Absolute Oneness.

Integrated understanding of Hashem means that the wisdom of the Torah combined with our imagination helps us to cling to Hashem’s love and mercy in our hearts.  Our effort is to choose abstract spiritual reality over the natural reactions stemming from material and physical reality. To do so, we nullify the appearance of a world that seems independent from Hashem in favor of the truth that Hashem fills all the world and that the place of the world is Hashem.  We nullify our sense of being autonomous independent beings in favor of being creations making an effort to take our next step toward our unique mission to reveal Hashem through our speech and deeds. In so doing, we have the opportunity to be a creator of our eternal identity within our unique personal universes.

The dynamic process of asking Hashem to help us involves consciousness of Hashem and that very consciousness comes from learning Torah.  The more Torah and understanding that the Torah tells us about Hashem, the more we will see Hashem in our lives, thank Him and develop a relationship with Him. The relationship is that Hashem is the groom, Torah is the ring and mankind is the bride.  We are betrothed to Hashem through Torah. The more Torah, the more chochma we have that our imagination can build on to help us in the moment regain our footing so that we may pull ourselves up from where we fall and return to connection and our holy missions.

When we feel over and over again the inner peace of doing Hashem’s will, it builds within us more and more love for Hashem that we feel in our hearts.  Whether this love is understood as consciousness of Hashem or as relationship with Hashem, somehow we begin to discern the messages that come from our higher soul, our soul made in Hashem’s image, and distinguish them from the look and feel of the messages that come from our natural drives and urges.

Integrated understanding of Torah is called daas.  It is consciousness of Hashem. Yet that consciousness has an inner soul of compassion through which we have a relationship with Hashem – we open the doorway with love for Hashem and awe of the design and Hashem, and He responds with compassion that helps us somehow understand what Hashem wants us to do in the moment, giving us an insight into how to reveal Him over our natural drives and urges.

May we develop a dynamic process to reinstate tzelem elokim into our active daily choices over our natural responses.  It is more than just breaking a habit. It is healing the shame and feelings of inadequacy that have happened because we have forgotten we are beams of light, Divinely created neshamas, sent here to forge a pathway for Hashem’s compassion to be revealed.  May this article be enough to begin the work that Hashem should accept our teshuva and dedication to this goal and redeem us with the light of Moshiach to teach us.

 

Dynamic Prayer

When feeling a painful, hurt response, try these steps while breathing deeply throughout.

“Hashem is right here, right now with me. Thank you Hashem for the opportunity to cry out to You and make an effort to ask that my prayer bring Your lovingkindness into this very place within me where I feel …….”.(If the feeling is not understood clearly, try talking to it lovingly and with awe “neshamala, I see you are covered over and blocked.  What is blocking you from feeling Hashem’s love and mercy?” Talk to it and then when the feelings covering the neshama are being expressed [and it will sound in the first person,” I feel this and that”, because the neshama is trapped in and animating the blocks. The goal is for the neshama, the positive spiritual vitalizing energy, along with the positive vitalizing spark of whatever is trapping it, to be drawn back to its Source], continue below. “ I am embracing with gratitude the opportunity to be like You, Hashem, and seek to reveal Your Lovingkindness and Mercy.”

 

Now continue to speak from the place of entrapment of the neshama, that is going to talk in the first person. “I am feeling ………………………….. and I do not feel at all Your love and mercy, I am praying to You out of love for You and because I understand the design of how You have created us. Please help!  I know that everything in this world comes from You and You create only good, although You hide.”

 

Now speak  from the feelings of love and awe in my heart and  tell Hashem, “I do not want my soul to be trapped there and I know that You Hashem do not want that either. I love You Hashem and have awe in the design and I choose to draw love and awe into the place of pain where it feels like…………  I understand that I have real free will and this is an opportunity to ask that Your lovingkindness redeem my soul from the grips of nature. By my initiating the feelings of love and awe in Hashem, I ask that Your lovingkindness and mercy draw out my neshama from its entrapment and thereby quiet and heal  the urge that is entrapping spiritual vitality from my soul. Comfort me! Please help me.”

 

 

 

With concentration on Hashem is One, say “I trust and believe that everything is filled with Your compassion, even if hidden. Despite that I feel …………. I recognize that whatever vitality I feel has a positive spiritual energy and that is the focus of my prayer, my love for Hashem, and my awe in Hashem’s design.  Please may the positive spiritual vitality from my soul and from whatever is entrapping my soul be unified with You and cling to and feel and reveal Your lovingkindness, including from this place in my natural makeup. My desire is to be like You Hashem and be strengthened in revealing Your love and mercy with all of the positive spiritual vitality being sent to me from You through this  experience.”

“With the love of Hashem and with awe that Hashem gives me real free will to choose these mitzvahs and to open a pinhole in my heart, I ask that the spiritual vitality of my soul that is suffering be redeemed from its confines and that I feel Your love and mercy so that I may reveal Your love and mercy, acting like Hashem, and being close to You in this way.  Please help me.”  Continue breathing until some shift is felt, a sense of inner peace.

(if feeling resistance, cynicism, a lack of emunah – even though I don’t fully understand and am vulnerable to this doubting, I understand the design that this doubting also contains a spiritual vitalizing energy from my soul and I ask that Hashem please take that especially strong vitality and help me use it to cling with emunah to Hashem rather than to the force it is clinging to that is causing a forgetting of Your Oneness.)

“I regret my past failures at bringing Hashem into this place of pain.  I ask that my teshuva be accepted and that my effort to bring Hashem’s lovingkindness into the matter be a merit for klal Yisrael that we may all be forgiven for similar errors, and that Hashem, forgiving us, please redeem us.”

 

 

 

Emunah Zoom

 Addendum

From blog post Chaya Hinda Allen

Shabbos Nachamu