Rabbi Moshe Genuth – The paradox of bringing something Infinite into this work through the effort to nullify the ego

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Additional clips from this shiur below….trust in Hashem and Shechina have the same gematria…yeish bitachon and shechina

If we nullify our ego what does it mean to have a relationship with ourselves?

What if having a relationship with ourselves has nothing to do with ego but everything to do with the life force concealed within our natural reactions that is seeking to come into this world through a mitzvah, a prayer, an act of chesed, or by learning Torah?

What if we got to know the external concealments well enough so that we recognize our patterns? Would that be enough or do we need something more, that something more being love and awe for Hashem and emunah? And if it is that we would need something more, namely love and awe for Hashem and emunah, how do we acquire these emotions and this power of faith when we seemingly are so otherwise identifying ourselves with externalities that are experienced internally? Do we see the confusion of mind that has resulted from the eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? Are we interested in breaking free from the magnetic pull of nature and ego and of feeling ourselves?

A relationship with ourselves means that we have a relationship with Hashem, that we know He is doing everything and that He loves us and that He is sustaining us as well as everything in the world and orchestrating our life’s experiences. Embedded in that we see our relationship with Hashem – He is doing everything, He loves us, He is the only Being that is alive, He is the Source of our life, He is concealed so that we may have real free will. And this gives us a frame of reference for relationships with other people, for they are more clearly framed within our relationship with Hashem.

Facing the dark places we all go to means that comprehend how Hashem has designed our bodies and our souls. Feeling empowered instead of despairing when we are in the dark means that we see the opportunity to weave life force stuck concealed in the darkness into a mitzvah and thereby give it a revealed expression.

During elul I worked very hard to see that much of the emotional pain I experience naturally is due to impressions made upon my young mind when I was forming. These impressions echo and project and realizing it is not enough to make it stop. Davening, beseeching Hashem and crying give us connection with Hashem through our true essence and slowly we are able to push to an external internality the echoing. Why is that important? Hashem is concealed there but He agrees to be imprisoned there, awaiting us, the chooser, to open the door and re-garment that concealed light as a mitzvah, a chesed, a prayer, or focus on learning Torah. Although He can do miracles….that is go above nature…He agrees to be bound by nature so that there is a world and so that we have real free will. The good news that all we have to do is will to go above our natural reactions, recognizing that these are there only to be nullified, and move forward with mitzvahs so that we may weave out of our lives an eternal life.

Each time we rise above our nature, we redeem something of our own soul AND a drop of kedusha given to nature to which we otherwise would remain attracted and bonded. By re-channeling, we also bring a portion of something from nature itself – earth, wind, water, and fire – to rectification. And from that, new light that had been concealed can flow into the world.

May we realize that by forgiving everyone, including ourselves, we bring something from within us into the world along with something from nature into the world, and that positive influence is available for Hashem to use to forgive us and to give us a sweet new year, may it be a year of redemption and salvation where we are all able to experience a light that helps us build a relationship with ourselves that is spiritually strong and a mishkan for Hashem.

Devorah Yaffa Singer- Yom kippur meditation from Rav Svirsky on removing excessive guilt

Working through a vulnerable share

I woke up with an uncertainty that began to blossom into a blast from the recent past that was really an echo from long ago. With emunah in Hashem, and comprehension that we are here to run and return, to send to and fro across Jacob’s ladder, I realized that compassion on the shechina in exile had to include forgiveness of the parties from the echo of long ago, when I was just too little to know how to respond. Each piece had to be re-experienced from an adult perspective, with ahavas yisrael and the understanding of what natural thinking is for the parties involved, without blaming, but also from love, to actually release the shechina that continues to be in exile from their lacks.

And there is grief for what I was not taught that everyone seems to have as a communication tool to help work things out.

And acceptance.

Then prayer that this shechina in exile and naturally dominating my nerve center should please serve instead to experientially convey Torah and Hashem’s will along with pervasive joy so that I may be the medium across which His Will and light reach into this world.

May the forgiveness for each party then and now expand and heal the initial ideas formed into a knot in my neurology. May the channel become straight – unblocked and uncomplicated -lines of simcha, superhighways, to convey love and light.


I took the light from where it is concealed in the knot and intended for it to become enfolded into the mitzvah of davening, may this new vessel cause the echo messages to dissolve and appear unfamiliar as I re-garment the life force into prayer.


The spiritual essence of the Jewish people is shema yisrael, shviti, ein od, and the Torah that tells us His Will. When we find knots within us that are opposite or an offense to our essence, be inspired with emunah to face and find the knot, knowing that opening that knot is salvation and blessing and healing, not the despair it presents as.


Let us lead ourselves with clinging to Him and thus be that channel for Him to flow into the world..may we move into a vision of our spiritual essence with a higher order of understanding – that we are esoteric beings with a body temporarily so that we may do this and weave for that esoteric soul an eternal garment out of the thread of our lifetime.

May our effort to do so be pleasing to Hashem, a merit, a healing, a cancellation of gezeira and a satisfaction of din for the soul as it exists in myself, my family and klal yisrael, and may the awareness of Hashem help us shower more and more compassion upon the bonds we have with what feels solid and neurologically painful in our lives. May we be zocheh to experience the simcha of dissolving those bonds and to realize experientially with the feeling of closeness and joy that we are empowered to do so and that doing His Will, drawing His Will into our hearts, speech and deeds, is the true pleasure for which we are designed.

Forgiveness, compassion, and teshuva….reflections on Shabbos Shuva

We will stand on Yom Kippur joyously receiving forgiveness for our sins that we atone for by fasting and davening sincerely from the heart. We are asking for Hashem to have compassion upon our soul and to forgive us and give us a good year,

Likewise, when we have a pained thought or a negative reaction, we have compassion upon the Shechina that agrees to be in exile in that thought, awaiting our recognition of Him and our use of real free will to go above our natural reactions. What may hold back our sincerity though is that we are not able to forgive the cause of that painful experience.

The good news is that the painful experience was sent by Hashem so that we could find in our limbic system the originating thought that is merely echoing upon the current circumstance. Long ago, Hashem designed our lives and our pure soul became ensnared according to His Design within a thought pattern, a coping mechanism, a trauma, a false belief or other formative impression SOLELY so that WE may have real free will to return our soul to Him. It might take us many years, decades or even a lifetime to untie the knot made so young. Key is to know that it IS a knot, and that there IS pure soul that is compassionate agreeing to be “alive” within this place. It is for us to notice our patterns and to have the emunah to face the challenge. And to know that opening the knot is JOYOUS and REDEMPTIVE and to not avoid it in favor our the cheap thrills of natural egoistic “victories.”

Here are some readings from Rabbi Elimelech Biderman’s Torah Wellsprings Yom Kippur as well as from the Alter Rebbe’s Iggeres HaTeshuva to fortify us in this work.

Excerpts from Torah Wellsprings
Iggeres HaTeshuva Alter Rebbe Ch 5 and 6 Hashem will return those who return

Drushim of Yom Kippur Maimer – the Shabbos of Shabbosos given over by Rabbi Moshe Genuth ch 1

Drushim yom kippur chapter 1 Shabbos of shabbosims

The highest of shabboses.  The holiest of the holy.  You shall mortify (with awe, subdue the body or its needs or desires) the body (fast your souls) in the 9th in the evening, from evening to evening, you shall stop from work and refrain from eating.

The Alter Rebbe asks why on the 9 when Yom Kippur is the 10th.  Why doesn’t it say the ninth?

This shows up in Vayikra. In this one it refers to the day as male.  The other hower, the one in achrei amot, hashem teaches aaron how to come into the holy of holies. When it talks about the holidays it says on the ninth of the 7th month, Yom Kippur, it says this holiest of days in a masculine way.  It is called by the feminine. 

He and Hoo. 

Hoo is masculine, it is in a masculine form.  But in achrei it is he lochem, in a feminine form.

Shabbat shabbaton is feminine in this chapter but in achrei mot it says hu lachem.  In the nine day, not the ninth of the month, from evening to evening halt work and food.

The main difference is not male and female. In achrei mot this is a law forever. But in emor it ends with the time the ninth day.

We are elevating to a status where we do not need to eat. It is a day of intense joy. 

What is important about this is that it says the seventh month, the tenth day. 

The main question is why does the passuk end differently in both places why one masculine one feminine and why do they end differently.

In emor, chapter 17 it would have been more appropriate to say it is an everlasting law. In achrei mot it is talking about the order of the service and that is only relevant when there is beis hamikdosh. Otherwise it is not relevant because you can’t do it. But an eternal law is whether or not there is a beis hamikdosh.

In emor he is talking about the order of the festivals and that is eternal whether or not there is a temple we cant do anything but we still have the holidays so there it should have said eternal low, in in achrei mot where it is describing the temple service.

So what is aaron doing in the holy of holies once a year.

He is atoning, cleansing it from the impurities of the Jewish people, that somehow we caused impurities in the temple itself, that our actions desecrated the temple.  We make mistakes, a korbon can become tame and yom kippur from the standpoint of the temple is resetting the temple, cleansing it of the impurities, and that is what the service is about.  Still we have a kapara hakodesh, from the inner point of view what does it mean to cleanse the holy.  When we say kapara there is some kind of chait, a transgression involved.  When there is something impure it is a chait.

There is atonement.  What is that about.  A direct student of Yisrael Srug, another student of the Arizal, who wrote this book . what does he say there?  Why does it say that he atones for the holy or he cleanses the holy.  Really he is talking about aaron who is supposed to do this.  It is referring to Hashem that He is the holy we are cleansing, not the tabernacle. 

It says that Hashem is willing to dwell in us, amongst us, even though we sin, we are impure.  He ware cleansing His presence, the Shechina.

In the same way, aaron is doing it for the tabernacle but the real work is cleansing the shechina.  When Hashem committed to being in this world He commits to being in the laws of this world and a prisoner cannot free Himself from incarceration so He needs the kohen gadol to do it for Him.  His Presence is for the kohen to cleanse it.  To cleanse the holiness of the holy.  He changes the wording from achrei mot.

These are the questions.  To understand the changes in the wording, we have to start – what is the purpose of mitzvahs. Why do we have commandments?

We know that the purpose of the soul is to do the commandments today, as it says in the Zohar, and Avraham came with his days.  What we call time is meaningless if it is not a garment for the soul. How do we wear each day?  Through the commandments, that are described as garments.  The real maning of time is the commandments we do that form the day.  Time is like a thread.  One dimensional.  We only see it moving in one direction.  We are getting a thread of lifetime at the speed of time. What are we going to do with it, be carried by it, time is passing, or we take the thread and we weave it into a garment, a three dimensional garment when we wear it.  We are pulling this thread back and forth through the commandments and creating a fabric.

Time is at first one dimensional and through our actions we can make it two dimensional and then three dimensional when we wear it.

Why three dimensions of space and only one of time?  If you have three dimensions of space, why is time not the same, why can’t we wear time, be contained in time.  How can we be contained in time?  The only way we can come into it is to create a garment we can put on .  we change the fabric of what time means to us. Otherwise life is just a passing through and we come out with a long string but nothing to wear.

Hashem has created space in three dimensions so we have a place to function but time is up to us. Hashem created in order to do….He created time in such a way that through our actions we can manipulate it so we can wear it and it can be used.

Really this fabric is made out of 613 commandments, each one a pattern in the fabric.  A person has to perform each one.  If I am in a time period where there is no beis hamikdosh it is okay because I was also in a time period where there was a beis hamikdosh.

When you learn chassidus and you have to try to understand what they are saying, we see images…where do you get the idea of time forming into a fabric.  What does it mean that you wear time?  The picture that kabala and chassidus has of the soul is that each one of us has to perform 613 commandments.  There used to be no way to do Mesiras nefesh however it has become much more normal today.  Expulsion holocaust, etc.

What does a neshama do…it has to be here and here and here,   we think time is sequential, like a thread.  But gilgul means it is like we are wrapped up in all the different periods we were in.  deeper inside there is a garment around me that I am wrapped in, and my mitzvahs in that time period created that garment, I or the kohen gadol.  I am coexisting in all those places at the same time if I continue to coexist, if I don’t create the garment I have to come back until I do create one to wrap myself in.

The thread is one dimensional. It becomes a garment when we do mitzvahs and we take it with us wherever we go.  That is a man of all ages, of all the ages with me.  Why do I learn gemara?  They were setting up the basic fabric from which all the garments are made, from how we make the garments for all ages.

It says that Hashem is willing to dwell in us, amongst us, even though we sin, we are impure. He ware cleansing His presence, the Shechina.
In the same way, aaron is doing it for the tabernacle but the real work is cleansing the shechina. When Hashem committed to being in this world He commits to being in the laws of this world and a prisoner cannot free Himself from incarceration so He needs the kohen gadol to do it for Him. His Presence is for the kohen to cleanse it. To cleanse the holiness of the holy. He changes the wording from achrei mot.


So really it is up to us to recognize Him, feel compassion on the Shechina in exile in our painful messages and then will to go above our natural will in run and return, to the place of bitul, and then invest it all in commandments


He says it straight out here

If anyone is seething right now

Send the person heartfelt gemar vchasima tova. Put the shechina of your life force into the mitzvahs ahavas yisrael and not hating in our heart
Bring that shechina into the world as a mitzvah, ahavas yisrael

Drushim Yom Kippur Maimer weaving time into garments commandments Rabbi Moshe Genuth

Our soul is spent moving us through this world.  We are here to weave it into a garment, which is another word for commandment. In this way, our soul given for our lifetime connects.

Time is easy to transfer.  Will we do a mitzvah or not?  I am giving my time to someone.  That is a spiritual quality.  Many people give a year of their life to someone. 

An example from Chazal – you have a goal of weaving time into a garment.  Time is related to malchus.  We know that from a juxtaposition of Hashem Melech , Hashem malach, Hashem Imlach liolam voed.  That third one is for the time of Moshiach.  Hashem Melech and malach are from tehillim.  Time is living in malchus, the world of action,  You are given time in order to act, to do things.  We are on a global challenge – can we turn time into a garment. Light has to become a garment, a revelation of Hashem.

Everyone has the goal of taking time and turning it into something that can be handled like space.  But we are not masters of time like the baal shem tov.  Time for him was something he could manipulate like space.  For us space contains objects. For him he could move time objects around too.  When time becomes three dimensional you can work with it. When it is one dimensional there is not much we can do with it.

For this reason, to create the full garment, we have to perform all the commandments even if they are not related to us.  We are existing in many time frames at that same time, all wrapped up in us.  Part of me is stuck inside Yaakov.  When he goes to do birkas kohanim, something from my time went to him, woven into the big garment we are all weaving together.  

If you are missing one mitzvah, you are missing a part of the garment.  What are the garments?  What does it mean the neshama is pure and then created.?

The source of the neshama from where it is chiseled from, like from a quarry, it is like a stone.  Stones are a stand in for letters and the neshama is made out of letters.  The neshama remains letters.  The neshama per se is letters. If we are not learning the letters of the Torah our neshama is not developing.  The reason the mitzvahs were given is to purify the creations.  Like if there is gold that we want to purify.  In metallurgy we purify.

The neshama, and I am filled with other letters, and we have to take out what is clouding what my neshama is really connected to.

The neshama remains made out of letters out of stone.  That is why the image of the luchos is that they are stone. Sapphire, that shines like the neshama itself. The source of the neshama is brilliant letters and just as the Torah is made of letters so to the penimius of the neshama. The external part can be made out of all sorts of other letters. 

Jews are not very good at throwing stones, at fighting.  It is not our profession, it is esav’s profession.  We learn for a living.  That is why Yiddishkeit is going to flourish because the world has to advance enough to become interested in intellectual knowledge over material wealth. Only when there is material wealth can we see we need intellectual knowledge that is filled from words.

The way that they saw the brick under hashem ‘s feet at har sinai…also talking about letters..and when it was taken out of the source it was pure divinity.  When it came down, it comes into a physical body and connected to physicality.

First It enters world of creation, the world of thought and receives the quality of being a yeish.  Before that it was totally nullified.  It had no being,  being is a state of being, a yeish.  Once you get there you don’t remembver what it was like to not be.

We cannot grasp ayin once it comes into the world of creation from atzilus to beriah.

The neshama extends from atzilus into beria.  Light extends, it does not leave its source and there it does not have a separate being.

Then it continues to descend,  Hashem creates and forms it with malachim.  Yetzer tov and yetzer ra, the emotional world of the neshama.  Then it has a part of it that is not real.  When we reach upwards, this world can become bittul.  Once we have a yeishm it is very hard to bitul.  But if you connect to atzilus, the source, then it is hard to act in this world. The baal shem tov could go back and forth between them. Even though he was clinging to the source he could pay attention to what a regular person was telling him and understand what the person’s troubles were, he could empathize.  He didn’t do them at the same time, he ran and retuned between them

This is the extension of the neshama throughout the worlds.  A thought and a feleing of being , then emotions which are angels yetzira, and finally it comes down and is blown into our nostrils.  What does that mean? Into asiya, in a physical body. Thought is not a body but it is limited.  You cant think illogically or that is not thought.  In beria where there is thought there ahs to be logic.  Emotions are not physical but they affect the physical because we act according to how we feel and they are not rational but they have a mechanism.  In the source there is a lot of freedom, Hashem can do what He wants.

We can have as much freedom as we want as long as it is all pure, doing His Will.

Vulnerable share – examples of reinvesting soul trapped in both lack and ego pain

Kindly take the time to listen to this share…it is not typed out because it is recorded from the heart….the purpose of the share is to increase awareness that everything we are experiencing is an echo from when we first attached to this world and is intended by Hashem for us to realize it is He in exile within our subconscious asking us to choose to return the holy spark to Him using our real free will.

It takes emunah to do this, to drag ourselves from the fiery coals of our natural thinking and pain and self-image curtains. Yet the end result is that place in our mind no longer is a home for the trigger as a painful event, but rather as an awareness that helps us bring Torah and chesed and radical acceptance and trust in Hashem into our hearts, our thoughts, our speech and our deeds.

May the light we serve as a channel back to Him bring a new light, a light of healing, salvation and redemption for all. And when He returns the captives to Zion, may the joy of our effort be eternal bliss.

addendum – Rabbi Moshe Genuth on Shabbos of Shabboses Yom Kippur – Hashem needs the Kohen Gadol to release Him from where He agrees to be “imprisoned” in this world!!!!

Time forms into a fabric through the design of the world…we are wearing time!! We perform mitzvahs. Gilgul means we are wrapped up in the different periods we have been in. Deeper inside there is a garment around me from a different time. what created that garment is the mitzvahs that I did or from the Kohen Gadol. I co-exist in all these places at the same time. I have to create the garment for this or I keep coming back. When we do a mitzvah with it, we take the garment with us wherever we go.






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Drushim yom kippur chapter 1 Shabbos of shabbosims
 
The highest of shabboses.  The holiest of the holy.  You shall mortify (with awe, subdue the body or its needs or desires) the body (fast your souls) in the 9th in the evening, from evening to evening, you shall stop from work and refrain from eating.
The Alter Rebbe asks why on the 9 when Yom Kippur is the 10th.  Why doesn’t it say the ninth?
This shows up in Vayikra. In this one it refers to the day as male.  The other hower, the one in achrei amot, hashem teaches aaron how to come into the holy of holies. When it talks about the holidays it says on the ninth of the 7th month, Yom Kippur, it says this holiest of days in a masculine way.  It is called by the feminine. 
 
He and Hoo. 
Hoo is masculine, it is in a masculine form.  But in achrei it is he lochem, in a feminine form.
 
Shabbat shabbaton is feminine in this chapter but in achrei mot it says hu lachem.  In the nine day, not the ninth of the month, from evening to evening halt work and food.
The main difference is not male and female. In achrei mot this is a law forever. But in emor it ends with the time the ninth day.
We are elevating to a status where we do not need to eat. It is a day of intense joy. 
What is important about this is that it says the seventh month, the tenth day. 
The main question is why does the passuk end differently in both places why one masculine one feminine and why do they end differently.
 
In emor, chapter 17 it would have been more appropriate to say it is an everlasting law. In achrei mot it is talking about the order of the service and that is only relevant when there is beis hamikdosh. Otherwise it is not relevant because you can’t do it. But an eternal law is whether or not there is a beis hamikdosh.
 
In emor he is talking about the order of the festivals and that is eternal whether or not there is a temple we cant do anything but we still have the holidays so there it should have said eternal low, in in achrei mot where it is describing the temple service.
So what is aaron doing in the holy of holies once a year.
 
He is atoning, cleansing it from the impurities of the Jewish people, that somehow we caused impurities in the temple itself, that our actions desecrated the temple.  We make mistakes, a korbon can become tame and yom kippur from the standpoint of the temple is resetting the temple, cleansing it of the impurities, and that is what the service is about.  Still we have a kapara hakodesh, from the inner point of view what does it mean to cleanse the holy.  When we say kapara there is some kind of chait, a transgression involved.  When there is something impure it is a chait.
 
There is atonement.  What is that about.  A direct student of Yisrael Srug, another student of the Arizal, who wrote this book . what does he say there?  Why does it say that he atones for the holy or he cleanses the holy.  Really he is talking about aaron who is supposed to do this.  It is referring to Hashem that He is the holy we are cleansing, not the tabernacle. 
It says that Hashem is willing to dwell in us, amongst us, even though we sin, we are impure.  He ware cleansing His presence, the Shechina.
In the same way, aaron is doing it for the tabernacle but the real work is cleansing the shechina.  When Hashem committed to being in this world He commits to being in the laws of this world and a prisoner cannot free Himself from incarceration so He needs the kohen gadol to do it for Him.  His Presence is for the kohen to cleanse it.  To cleanse the holiness of the holy.  He changes the wording from achrei mot.
 
These are the questions.  To understand the changes in the wording, we have to start – what is the purpose of mitzvahs. Why do we have commandments?
 
We know that the purpose of the soul is to do the commandments today, as it says in the Zohar, and Avraham came with his days.  What we call time is meaningless if it is not a garment for the soul. How do we wear each day?  Through the commandments, that are described as garments.  The real maning of time is the commandments we do that form the day.  Time is like a thread.  One dimensional.  We only see it moving in one direction.  We are getting a thread of lifetime at the speed of time. What are we going to do with it, be carried by it, time is passing, or we take the thread and we weave it into a garment, a three dimensional garment when we wear it.  We are pulling this thread back and forth through the commandments and creating a fabric.
 
Time is at first one dimensional and through our actions we can make it two dimensional and then three dimensional when we wear it.
 
Why three dimensions of space and only one of time?  If you have three dimensions of space, why is time not the same, why can’t we wear time, be contained in time.  How can we be contained in time?  The only way we can come into it is to create a garment we can put on .  we change the fabric of what time means to us. Otherwise life is just a passing through and we come out with a long string but nothing to wear.
 
Hashem has created space in three dimensions so we have a place to function but time is up to us. Hashem created in order to do….He created time in such a way that through our actions we can manipulate it so we can wear it and it can be used.
 
Really this fabric is made out of 613 commandments, each one a pattern in the fabric.  A person has to perform each one.  If I am in a time period where there is no beis hamikdosh it is okay because I was also in a time period where there was a beis hamikdosh.
 
When you learn chassidus and you have to try to understand what they are saying, we see images…where do you get the idea of time forming into a fabric.  What does it mean that you wear time?  The picture that kabala and chassidus has of the soul is that each one of us has to perform 613 commandments.  There used to be no way to do Mesiras nefesh however it has become much more normal today.  Expulsion holocaust, etc.
What does a neshama do…it has to be here and here and here,   we think time is sequential, like a thread.  But gilgul means it is like we are wrapped up in all the different periods we were in.  deeper inside there is a garment around me that I am wrapped in, and my mitzvahs in that time period created that garment, I or the kohen gadol.  I am coexisting in all those places at the same time if I continue to coexist, if I don’t create the garment I have to come back until I do create one to wrap myself in.
The thread is one dimensional. It becomes a garment when we do mitzvahs and we take it with us wherever we go.  That is a man of all ages, of all the ages with me.  Why do I learn gemara?  They were setting up the basic fabric from which all the garments are made, from how we make the garments for all ages.

addendum from Miriam Yerushalmi

SPOTLIGHT ON TANYA
col 4, Chap 20 pages 372-379

Note:
Ever sometimes feel that you can’t keep up with another person. They seem so spiritual, so much more refined – so much more connected. So much more PERIOD. What you are about to learn can really help you better tolerate yourself. We learn in Tanya that some souls are randomly chosen (almost like a lottery) and by the “kiss” of Gd enter this world with a high pristine soul that they were gifted with. Now we can finally understand why such there are such differences between people -even between two siblings that are raised by same parents.

Here is an example to help better understand how different souls come into the world- Just like the gestation period of a baby in their mother’s stomach and environmental factors can affect the health of the new born child, so too, souls go through a “gestation” period as they descend the four worlds and enter this world .

Instruction:

NEVER EVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANOTHER AND FEEL BAD!

BUT……If you happen to catch yourself comparing yourself -get inspired by them and use the experiences as a motivational factor to help you reach new heights ONLY!!!!!!

You are trying to Reach New Heights and that is what counts!

We leaned earlier in this chapter of Tanya that there are external Kelim of the Sefirot which is what allows for created entities and varying forms of Yesh – including the body of angels.

“And His (Gd’s) angel He charges with the deficiency.” (Iyov 4:18). As we see in this phrase that there is an implication of the nearness of Angels to Gd, yet even these angels are deficient in that they are a Yesh and not Divinity.

Why? Because angels are not fully in a state of nullification because they are created in a manner of something (Yesh) from nothing (Ayin).

By contrast, the soul’s of angels and the soul’s of humans emerge by the more ethereal manner of union of the Sefirot (whence spiritual entities emanate such as the soul’s of angels) called is called Zivug Neshikin – “the union of kissing.” It’s as if the kiss protects these souls so as they descend through the world’s they are unaffected and stay at their pristine lofty level.

Another form of union of the higher worlds (I.e-6 middos with Aztilut that creates the soul’s of humans and souls) called Zivug Gufani – “a physical union” (relative to the other union). From this union derives the birth of souls that become enclothed in actual physical bodies.

Because there is restricted diffusion of the Kav (which like a pipeline) and thus lacks the Infinite degree of flow of the Ein Sof illumination -which in effect causes and makes possibly for the created entity of the Kelim of the Sefirot to exist in a mode of limitation.
This level of contraction (Tzimtzum) is more then a mere diminution or diminishment of the intensity of Divine illumination: it actually involves the removal of the light altogether.

What has been said above refers to souls of Atzilut as they still are in within Atzilut before they are vested in a body. While in that lofty world they share the characteristics of Divinity, and are not detached entities. Even after their descent into the lowly world, like the souls of the early righteous ones (Tzadikim) did not undergo a change: they did not become sundurred from Gdliness. Their essence did not change to become entities distinct from Divinity: They remain on the same level as they had been while still in the higher world of Atzilut. The angels and souls of that world are not, however actual Divinity, and as such are not able to create substantiality ex nihilo. (The ability to create ex nihilo is exclusive to Gd).

So since the Infinite Gd is the only one who creates then why do the Kelim exist? In essence the Kelim “enable” the Ein Sof (Gd) to create a finite existence (Yesh) -since Gd is Infinite, and the beings that result from it would also be limitless – if not for the Kelim. In order that this existence (Yesh), created by the infinite power of Gd, should have a limit and measure, the infinite Gd needs to be vested in the vessel because vessels are limited.

Again Side note:
Ever sometimes feel that you can’t keep up with another person. They seem so spiritual, so much more refined – so much more connected. So much more PERIOD. Learning the above can really help you better tolerate yourself. Now you know that some souls are randomly chosen (almost like a lottery) and by the “kiss” of Gd enter this word with the high pristine soul that they were gifted with. Now we can finally understand why such there are such differences between people -even between two siblings that are raised by same parents.

Try best to internalize these facts!
AND
Remember the Instruction:

NEVER EVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANOTHER AND FEEL BAD!

BUT……If you happen to catch yourself comparing yourself -get inspired by them and use the experiences as a motivational factor to help you reach new heights ONLY!!!!!!

You are trying to Reach New Heights and that is what counts!

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The seething waters – fear of vulnerability and not being able to attach to love and value

Rabbi Asher Freund teaches that our soul is battered between lack and self-image concerns unless we recognize Hashem and nullify our feeling ourselves as separate. By nullifying our sense of self, we are able to be in that esoteric place of consciousness where we may serve Hashem as He intends. We have real free will. We have emunah. We have speech. And with these, we may run and return, such that there is a flow between heaven and earth, like Jacob’s ladder.

The seething waters are the way we feel when we are bouncing between what it feels we are lacking and what that will mean for us practically – how we will look, how that will feel, and all our interpretations regarding that.

But let’s open that up even more. For this is the tohu and vohu into which our consciousness is placed by Hashem in order to draw the holy sparks back to Him, so it is worthwhile to see how it all unfolds.

Our soul just wants to be with Hashem. That is total joy, to bask in the light and love that is ever-present.

Our soul comes to a world through parents, human parents. We must attach to them for life. And they give to us great love and benefit. However, they are human and not Hashem and therefore, the soul, although alive and fulfilling the mitzvah of honoring our parents, is not fully in the place it knows is the true joy – devekus with Hashem. As a result, there is much room for imagination to put up curtains that separate us even more from Hashem, as our soul bounces back and forth between lack and self-image trying to find the happiness in this world that the soul longs for.

Everyone has attachment issues because of this. Those who had good homes are still longing for attachment to Hashem in their souls although it may not be as urgently felt as those who had to attach within more complicated homes.

We are here to attach to Hashem in this world and thereby be attached to Him for all eternity based on that effort.

What does that mean, attach to Hashem? Hashem is not physical. How do we attach?

We cling to Him with our mind and our hearts and wrap our arms and legs around Him touching with every part of our being, like a little child wrapped around her father’s neck, her legs around His waist, her head on His shoulder. Hugging. Heart to heart. He is what our soul is longing for.

When we attach to receive love from our parents, there are obviously going to be gaps. We attach by following their rules and living according to their ways. There is no guarantee that this will be fulfilling for us. Rather we may even carry resentments because of the manner in which our obedience is elicited. However, when we sincerely attach to Hashem, and we do His Will, there is nothing but simcha. If there is no simcha, it only means that there is a part of our soul that is still trapped in an attachment to a thought or a pattern from our attaching to our homes first. It is for us to find that place, with full trust in Hashem, and to tell Him that we sincerely want that part of our soul to be attached to Him and doing His Will.

When we do Hashem’s will, with all our hearts, with all our souls, and with all our might, there is true simcha. That is emunah.

And Hashem gives us real free will. The deeper the pain, the more of our soul is available to be willed back to a place of connection where it may come into the world through His Will – learning Torah, praying and giving blessings, doing acts of chesed, and performing mitzvahs with awareness of being His keyboard for bringing Infinite Light into the world.

He opens His Hand and satisfies every living thing – He gives us His Will to do and this is what heals us from the seething waters. We literally are pulled out of the tohu and vohu and are part of Him.

Being willing to even see how Hashem has designed this world is the beginning of freedom from what grips us. The beginning of wisdom is awe of Hashem. He is sustaining us and filling us just to give us consciousness with which to recognize Him and serve as a medium for His Light to come into the world. Our resistance is merely our soul trapped in the seething waters due to attachment early in life to beliefs that were necessary in order to develop. Our salvation is our emunah and the use of the real free will He gives us to now wrap ourselves around the truth, His Love, and do His Will, knowing that being with Him is the healing and the way we develop our consciousness so as for our existence to become a complete and pure emanation of Him.

Instead of loving our egos, let us love our souls enough to love Hashem and see redemption

We all hope for redemption. No worries, no sickness, no war…everyone will see Hashem’s compassion everywhere.

Do we really believe that we could be happy there? What is going to happen to our current pursuits and comfortable mode of being regarding our egos and our source of happiness?

What is going to help us be truly happy there is letting go of our cynicism and doubts and ego pursuits now while we have real free will. The time to assure that we will truly enjoy the time to come is NOW when we can choose the outlook of true reality by overcoming our nature.

Why stay in an illusion that is going to go away?

Shift our thinking and bring the new day!!

If you doubt it, what do you have to gain?

The opportunity to powerfully trade in pain?

Is that the pursuit for which we are brought from on high?

Instead, reveal what is truly good in His eye!!!

Unmet childhood needs draw us towards physical world with a stronger, harder to break bond BUT….

I believe I heard from more than one place that if Hashem throws us into a dark deep pit He does so only because He has designed our specific soul with the strength and ability to rise back to Him.

Practically speaking, this means that if we as children went through difficult times, meaning that our home of origin was complicated regarding getting normal attachment and other needs met healthfully, it is because He has given our soul plenty of built in compassion so that when we are adults we are able to bring a great flow of light from that darkness back to Him.

The thing is, it can sometimes be so very painful that we don’t realize what it is for, nor do we have the emunah or education to know how to heal.

Even so, the suffering of such a person is meaningful, for Hashem has made a foolproof system for bringing the Shechina in exile in that person’s subconscious back to Him. We may do it through emunah, ratzon, davening and clinging to Him, or we may do it through suffering.

What does the pro-active approach look like, one may ask? It also sounds like suffering, to face our challenges, to have to steel ourselves to the natural draw towards the painful memory in favor of turning towards mitzvahs, praying learning torah and chesed.

And it is, indeed, a kind of suffering. Either way, there is mesiras nefesh. So what is the difference? Why not just leave it up to Hashem to take what He wants from us and then bring us up to the level He creates our potential to be?

Rabbi Asher Freund tells us what Rosh Hashana is really about. He says that after we leave this world, we want to go to the light, to Hashem. But all of the challenging physical pulls that we bond with come to us and tell us that we created them and we have to go with them. And we go with them, those familiar, icky dark spidery tentacles recapture our pure soul instead of us proceeding to the light. When we make an effort while alive to walk past those pulls, then we are able to walk towards the light after 120 years and not go with them.

What does that effort look like? What does it mean to face our challenges? The best news is that it means seeing the true reality that in facing the challenge we are on a quick path to simcha and love and healing. However, we only know that experientially after the first time the chaos turns into calm and simcha. Before that, it just feels alive, terrifying, overwhelming and unapproachable.

What if there is just one thought that is really animating that whole challenge that is keeping us in the dark? What if we could find that one thought and tell Hashem that we want only the life force within it and not the message because we want to express that life force according to His Will and not express the pain? Would we have the emunah to hold steady and keep breathing through, like labor pains, the waves and nested loopings of lack and what that means until we realize we are indeed facing our Creator Who is here with us in this very thought? Can we realize that He is awaiting OUR recognition and compassion so that He may draw that concealed light back to Him and heal us?

The consciousness that we need is that our identity is neither our body that He gives us nor our soul that He gives us – we are what we choose with that consciousness that a soul in a body produces. We have an esoteric reality that is eternal and a body that is temporary. Our effort in this world to express Hashem’s compassion and do His Will IS how we form our uniqueness for ourselves.

So there is mesiras nefesh and there is mesiras nefesh by effortful choice.

What happens when we find a diamond mine of light? It means that we find that memory and the thought that formed at that time. For example, let’s say we consistently push back. While we may follow the rules, inside of us, we are somehow pushing back, trying to take something for our “identity”, something to gratify ourselves or resist being hurt. Perhaps that stems from having been raised with too much strictness, or even shame. Likewise, let’s say we did not receive enough positive feedback or shaping. Perhaps as we grow up we find ourselves drawn to anyone who is kind to us, which makes us vulnerable to being duped and taken advantage of. If these or other possibilities come to mind, what happens? We can relive over and over these types of feelings as they are projected and played out in many different settings, and feeling beaten and defeated. Or we can tell Hashem in hisbodedus that we recognize that we are having an encounter with Hashem and that we do not want to draw Hashem’s life force into this darkness anymore.

It takes experiential understanding that what feels chaotic and alive within us can become calm and joyous when we face it directly with a plan. The plan is the topic of many articles on this blog – strengthen emunah, shower what feels alive in the message with compassion and tell Hashem we want that life force to come into the world through a deed that is His Will, such as learning Torah, giving a blessing or saying a prayer, a chesed, or a mitzvah. We are not stopped from doing good in the world when we feel as we do, and when we realize it is up to us to choose to place the life force into a new expression – an expression of His Will – then the former painful expression falls to the side and dissolves. Then that place in our mind that previously was a trigger point becomes a place where we are able to hear loving encouraging and inspiring thoughts that fill us with simcha to carry out.

That place in our brain where our unmet needs have echoed for so many years can become a place where our love and awe for Hashem are felt the most, and we are truly free and whole.

What do we have to lose? Only the false belief that we are victims, trapped forever in a brain that is damaged. Hashem is doing everything but He waits for us to initiate – recognize Him in the center, realize we are empowered to be a channel, shower compassion upon the Shechina in exile and tell Him we intend to bring it into the world through a mitzvah or put it into a blessing. Keep repeating until we are blessed to find that root where all the thoughts stem from. When Hashem chooses to release the bond between the life force He gives us and that painful place, we will have a deja vu of the originating event. Thank Hashem for releasing it and then run to do a mitzvah and bring that part of our soul into our hearts with simcha.