A comprehensive website about emunah and core Torah concepts, with analysis and explanation of the writer’s personal growth experiences in Avodas Hashem and understanding of our relationship with HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
The Seder – We
imprint this in our psyche and it releases our enslavement to the world.
The matza brings mochim to Am Yisrael.
The bread of emunah. We
are elevating ourselves in a supernatural sense to a deep awareness and
connection to Hashem. To have that
connection we need to become consciously aware, and that consciousness is
called mochim, either constricted or expanded.
When we are in constricted consciousness, we see the world
in an external sense, that the world seems real and that it has power and it emotionally
When we have pain and suffering that is constricted
The world is not an independent reality. Hashem is projecting it. That is expanded consciousness.
The Shechina is the malchut, the mother of creation and it
is powering all of us and everything in existence and she is receiving it to
convert it into objects. Malchut has
nothing of itself. She receives it to
convert it and give life to the world
The father is zeir anpin or za. For za to be mashpia, the light into the malchut,
that we can perceive the infinite light of Hashem.
The metaphysical manifestation of consciousness is projected
through the matza and the wine.
The mochim of abba comes from matza – perceiving reality
from Hashem’s perspective. Hashem is all
that exists. This is the sovev, the transcendant
part of the matza.
There is only Hashem. Ein od milvado.
Only the sovev, the Infinite light of Hashem.
Al achilat channels binah
Focus when saying Hashem on shem
samach gimel sag
The world is an illusion. From Hashem’s perspective we are like a ray
of light still in the sun, we are bitul in the ohr of Hashem. This truth
comes into our psyche. This keeps us grounded in the world to do what Hashem
has asked us to do to bring in the light. To build a dweling place within the
illusion. This removes the stranglehold of the illusion over me. The ultimate imprisonment is when I am
enslaved to the illusion. The mitzrayim is that I think there is a world and
I am giving it energy.
The first sandwich Channels chasadim
of daas to affect our emotions with love. Connect the mind to experience love
Second sandwich channels gevura of daas
Hashem’s love is Infinite. Hashem
wants to love you an Infinite amount, but we could not take it.
Hashem must hold back His Love so that
we develop and exist, to have our own experience.
Hashem wants the world to exist so that is the dynamic of
memale, of binah, of the flow between these.
Hashem has created this illusion and we have to take it seriously and
not just fall into the binah. Yet Hashem wants the world and therefore we have
the four cups of wine.
When we perceive reality from our perspective that is called
mochim consciousness of Ima bina and is the four cups of wine. This is the self perspective. The yesh. Something. I am aware I exist and
Hashem is behind the scenes. This is the memale. We see the world but we have to reinforce our
mind that the world is not an independent entity, that there is a life force
that is willing the world into existence. The world is the body of Hashem. His Will is the cause and life force. The
Infinite light. That is an indirect perception
of becoming aware of Hashem.
Chochma of Ima
Hashem is soul of the world.
Binah of Ima
I am a unique expression of Hashem
Chasadim of daas
Hashem always loves me, which awakens
love within me
Gevuras of the daas
Hashem always love me and I need to be
strong, and I will always love Hashem.
I do not want to lose that connection. Positive
expression of fear of losing connection. Yira. I don’t want to do anything that will
We are afraid to forget Hashem. We want to stay in that constant state of
connection, even though my nefesh behemit might want something else.
Geula is about bringing the light down into this world.
We imprint this in our psyche and it releases our
enslavement to the world.
I have an ache, an emotion, a circumstance that is painful, a lack…it feels huge and pervasive and there is much negativity towards myself or another.
I recognize that the amazing power within this experience is the Shechina in exile. The kedusha Hashem gives to the Soton to conceal Himself within nature must be Hashem for only Hashem can conceal Himself. The Soton gained access to the physicality of mankind when we ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Our awareness of the body and the urges and impulses of the animalistic instinct are vulnerable to the pollution that denies or diminishes Hashem’s total love. The way the Soton interacts with mankind is through the pollution that the Soton can reach through the natural urges and impulses, and that generate the darkness, masking Hashem and focusing us on an illusion of yeishus as the center of the focus.
Hashem I have the emunah to know that in this very moment all there is in existence is You Who is Love and Compassion. And I love you and I know I am safe even though i feel like I am breaking, falling apart, getting crushed. The power of this experience is the Shechina in exile and the impact of this experience is due to the direct control that the Soton has over the urges and impulses to trigger thoughts and emotions of yeshus. Into the safety and love of Your Truth, I wish to bring the power within it, for the purpose of distilling the Shechina in exile from the yeshus. The yeshus feels like I am being dragged over fiery coals and my urges and impulses want to respond but I do not want to respond. I do not want to want what the yeshus wants, specifically…..Instead I recognize Hashem’s power and ask that the Shechina in exile there please instead guard my soul.
These fiery coals are but the shechina in exile that I am grateful to You for giving the soul as it exists in my unique body the opportunity to channel from the zuhama in the world of formation to revealed kedusha in this world. I want to not want what the natural urges want. I want to submit everything to form a channel of mind and heart over which You Hashem may bring the fallen kedusha back to You. Please help me.
I am experiencing the power within the urges and impulses and I recognize my Creator, concealed. Bring each urge and impulse into the safe and loving place of Hashem’s love. This takes emunah.
Please may the kedusha in exile in the painful messages and circumstances attached to that power be distilled from this matter because I recognize my Creator. Instead, please may that kedusha guard my soul from the matter, may the kedusha be a merit for the soul as it exists in me, my family and klal yisrael. Please may the revealed kedusha cancel all gezeras against the soul as it exists in me my family and klal yisrael. Please may it satisfy all din for the soul as it exists in myself my family and klal yisrael. Please may it bring healing…etc.
Allow each urge and impulse and thought to float in so that the live distills the shechina in exile from the presenting matter and is absorbed into the love. The mind and heart are the channel when we totally submit kniwing He does everything.
Any yeshus at all blocks that Hashem is everything and is doing everything. Even though it is normal, our normal is contained within the zuhama to give us free will to deplete the Soton of the kedusha given to him. Let us remember to eliminate the Amalek within.
What are we? We are a mind and a heart that can be a channel across which Hashem may choose to transfer fallen kedusha from the kelipas formed from the zuhama to revealed kedusha. Our effort is to nullify all yeshus out of love for Him and awareness of His Oneness and Love. Everything else, Hashem does. He wants our hearts.
Making an effort to redeem the fallen sparks when in a challenge – seeing the power in it that is blocking awareness of Hashem’s love – and knowing we are having a chance to deplete what is blocking that love of its kedusha empowers us to love Hashem with gratitude for life and opportunity to have G-d-consciousness rather than self-referencing consciousness.
The thought that feels real is “alive” and tempting because it is rooted in Hashem albeit the kedusha, the holy spark, is concealed. That is the key. Recognize the Creator. Be G-d-conscious. No matter the vessel, if it has vitality, it is Hashem’s kedusha alone because there is No Other Power. Ask for that vitality to be redeemed from the negative thoughts clinging onto it. Ask Hashem instead for what feels powerful and alive and real to be a blessing. Ask that our emunah htat all there is in the world is Hashem Who is all good and loving be the strong vessel to help us hold steady through the fiery coals of the thoughts and emotions hurled by what clings to that kedusha. Ask that our mind and heart be utilized as Hashem as a channel across which the kedusha He distills from what latches on may return to Him and then be channeled through our speech and deeds into the world as revealed love. Empty everything – thoughts, urges, impulses, resistance, emotions – into His Love, holding focus on the power enlivening each and asking to be the channel through which Hashem brings that power to revealed light
And regardless of the circumstantial outcome, we used time to good advantage. G-d-conscious, not self-referencing conscious.
Here is an example…
A child didn’t arrive home The alarm started to go off Somethings wrong! All the various things that come up for people with Attachment Issues Fears, general panic, worry…
I can regulate this emotion because
I know this is coming from my attachment issues
It doesn’t change that the movement starts
however Ive improved of what i do with it
I’ve learned to recognize
that the strength of what I’m feeling
is a result of the attachment issues
and is not necessarily or actually happening
and to view it as an opportunity
to see the power in it
and that that kedusha
is the Shechina in exile
and the hashkacha pratis of my life
that i can’t do anything about the circumstances
but that i CAN bring that kedusha
from what is latching on to it
from being latched on to
by all of these negative worries and thinking
to a place where it can reveal kedusha
reveal compassion and love
without accusing blaming and shaming
without getting into a bad mood
without getting it to be overblown
THINK ITS ALL GOOD AND I LOVE H’.
Really everything is fine.
It is only able to be concealed
because H’ has given kedusha to the satan
who blows a zuhama/confusion
because we ate from the Eitz HaDaas.
That is what I am experiencing.
The only thing I have real control over
is my opportunity to have my mind and heart to serve
as a channel for that Shechina in exile
to fall back to H’
and that is what i plan to do.
That is how I plan to regulate this entire matter
In order to do that i have to EMPTY EVERY THOUGHT / FEELING / URGE
into the safety and constant love of H-shem’s presence.
FOCUS on the power of what I’m feeling
RECOGNIZE that even though its concealed
Its the same substance
as the love that is surrounding
and that Im feeling in my heart
Its power is same substance
and that the feeling of YESHUS is!
It is very powerful
“Why are they doing this to me?
Why is this happening to me?
What is this doing to my life?
All of those self concerns
are also filled with the same substance
which is concealed within this appearance that its ME
And I have to be totally willing
to recognize that H’ is doing everything
and what’s getting in the way
of me feeling the love is the fact
that this has something to do with ME
which is not true
It has only to do with my opportunity
to become a channel
for my mind and heart to become a channel
over which I can ask H’ to help me please choose
to see HIS power in all of it
For my mind and heart to be the channel
over which the Shechina in exile can travel back
to reunify with its source
so everything gets emptied
and there’s a stillness
a simple sense of body
a focus on the power itself
with a feeling of love
and any thought that comes up
to focus on the power of that thought only
Describe it and
Ask H’ for whatever is empowering it
To please come into the love
that the whatever thoughts / urges / impulses / emotions
that have latched on to it
that they should be left behind
Do that until you can breath again
and now the feeling is regulated
and now you find out
that the child had to make an important stop
and everything is ok BH
and none of the imagining, worries, awfulizing, conjuring, figuring out things out
All of that was just the zuhama being exposed
But the difference between this example
and what it would have been before
was that instead of me feeling silly about me having those thoughts again and beating myself up about it
Instead, I took it as an opportunity to be a channel
and returned Kedusha
from the Shechina in exile
within the hashgacha pratis
back into a revealed light
asking H’ that please now
instead of having these thoughts urges and emotions
latching on to it
this kedusha should help to guard me from having those things latch on again
and should please associate with H’s
constant LOVE, PROTECTION, & GUIDANCE
And that whatever Light I revealed
should be a merit for the souls
that exist in my self, my family and klal Yisroel
should cancel any gazairas against these souls
should be a satisfactional din against the soul
as it exists in myself, my family and klal Yisrael
Can express our wish
to where the kedusha should be used
Refua sheleima, shidduchim…
We are not doing it
H’ then does it
but the EFFORT that we make to do this
is what heals
as we show H’ that we love him
We recognize Him as the creator
that we WANT TO NOT WANT
WHERE THE CONFUSION OF MIND TAKES US
That we want instead to reveal Him
and that we are asking for His help
but thats all we can do
He does everything else
The blessing of grandchildren are many. Beyond calculatable.
Insights abound that may have escaped us as exhausted, overwhelmed parents.
Have you noticed that the youngest of babies has awareness of what is going on? It may not come out until they are a little older and modeling what is imprinted from what they have seen and experienced. But one thing comes out right away, and that is that a baby sees and wants. If one child has a bottle or a candy, everyone does, even the infant. There is an awareness there that is active and focused on self-referencing, understanding with complete intelligence in the regard to lack.
The reason this insight can be so helpful is because as we get older, we often spend our time dealing with filling the apparent lacks from the physical world, as we did when we were babies and young children and even as young adults. At some point, once we see that as we grow older the physical world is not supplying the satisfaction for our areas of lack, the opportunity of life either becomes more apparent or we suffer. Either way, Hashem’s Will that we serve as a channel over which the Shechina in exile in the hashgacha pratis of our lives is able to dissolve from physicality and be expressed in the world as His Pure Compassion. Really the choice is up to us.
Here is a six minute clip from Rabbi Kessin’s video on Passover and what Hashem wants from us at the end of time that explains the four levels of zuhama through which the Soton has a relationship with mankind.
And here is the reassurance that our suffering has meaning, that from our suffering we also may serve as that channel to cleanse the world of what blocks awareness of Hashem as all Loving.
These two clips help us comprehend something crucial. When we find ourselves in a place of judgment that is causing us to feel harshly towards ourselves or blaming or shaming others, inadvertently we have blasted past the opportunity for a soul correction. A soul correction means that we have the opportunity of life to transfer holy sparks from the zuhama that is the Soton’s connection to mankind back to the realm of holiness and revealed light.
Anything that denies or diminishes Hashem as One and Only and all loving is a block. Only Hashem can conceal Himself, which He does by giving some kedusha to the Soton so that we have real free will. When we ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the Soton now had dominion over our physical being, blocking the awareness of Hashem and His Love that Adom knew. Although it sounds judgmental, Torah tells us that anything that blocks awareness of Hashem’s love is “evil” meaning exactly that it denies or diminishes the emes. Take away the judgmentalism of it and just realize and reflect that we are given life with a mind and a heart to serve as a channel across which the fallen sparks of kedusha that Hashem gave into the hand of the Soton may be returned to the side of kedusha, either through our pro-active effort or, chas v’shalom, through suffering and our eventual mortal demise.
Rabbi Asher Freund teaches us about nullification. It is a total emptying of the thoughts and emotions that, in fact, really are stemming from our natural impulses, which are under the domain of the Soton and are an experience of the zuhama the Soton blows through us. Rabbi Moshe Weinberger teaches that the Torah tells us about manna between the Red Sea and Har Sinai specifically to teach us that in order to receive Torah, we must “excrete” the zuhama.
Rabbi Asher Freund teaches us that excreting the zuhama is an experience no less painful than being drawn over fiery coals, for it hurts our image and our sense of knowing ourselves. The good news is that none of what we think is “us” is the essential self! That is the entire point!!! We do not know our essence, our absolute essence, until we comprehend what an infant teaches us! All of our understanding about our image and persona is a development within the zuhama, and feels real due to neurology and Hashem’s design. And yet, it is NOT the essential self! Instead, it is given to us to extract the sparks of kedusha in order to build an eternal identity and attach ourselves to Hashem with real free willed choice. When we choose to associate all of the power within the impulses and urges we have with Hashem rather than with everything we know and feel and trust based on the natural course under the domain of the Soton and his zuhama projected into us, we serve as a channel for the transfer of the holy sparks and for this, we are given credit.
Rabbi Kessin explains that Hashem has made a foolproof system for us. Should we opt out of the use of free will to go over the fiery coals and submit a rectified ego in favor of our essential self, the avenue of suffering serves to cleanse. He explains the Egyptian exile as having served in this fashion. It is must listen to before Passover.
Has your grandchild ever had a sharpness to their intellect where they were able to beat you at a game? Are we able to see that the power of the Soton running our natural lives is full of kedusha concealed in our physical existence? Is our overblown understanding of our image as something we are blocking the awareness that Hashem Alone is all that exists and that He Alone fills everything? Are we willing to live in our emunah and shift our sense of who we are to an abstraction – that we are a channel over which spiritual matter flows IF we submit our illusion and “get over ourselves?” Are we willing to consider the spiritual reality that the exodus from egypt and the giving of the Torah tell us year after year? And if so, what does that translate to in terms of the use of the gifts and talents Hashem has given to us?
Jear Rabbi Avraham Schorr in Inyei Geula for ideas
Rabbi Akiva Tatz has started Hilchos Teshuva through JewishWorkshops (email@example.com). In last week’s shiur, Rabbi Tatz gives a detailed explanation of how using our free will to do teshuva from love is worth the inner effort. Rabbi Tatz explains that Hashem brings us to rectification either through our inner effort or through suffering, but He desires us to do it through our effort from a place of love for Hashem. Obviously, a child that does teshuva from an inward place is no longer in need of punishment to affect the child’s conduct.
Let’s integrate a few thoughts.
All there is in the world is Hashem. He is the Only Being that is alive Who gives us the experience of life through placing a spiritual being in a mortal body that He Alone sustains.
Hashem gives us consciousness so that we may have awareness of Him so that we may ask of Him and He may bestow good upon us.
Hashem gives to us many talents and powers, including speech, free will, and emunah. He desires that we use real free will to follow the morality of the Torah and thereby bring His Goodness into the world in a way that reveals His Goodness.
He has given us awareness and these powers so that we may be aware of Him, be grateful for the experience of life so that we may come in contact with the four elements of the earth, water, fire and wind. In so doing, we have the opportunity to use real free will to bow to Him with whatever enlivens our urges and impulses. There is Only Hashem. We will for the Shechina in exile in the urges and impulses stirred by the hashgacha pratis to please be released from what conceals His Good. We ask that our hearts and mind be a channel to bring forward His Good into speech and deeds that fulfill Torah and mitzvahs and His Compassion, that His Concealed Goodness sprout forth visibly. We are capable of making these moral choices despite that it might feel like we are passing over hot fiery coals. The reason we are capable is that it is a moral choice that we will, that we speak out as our choice, and a prayer that we ask Hashem to please release what vitalizes our blocks from the block so that we may indeed bring the concealed good into the world. Hear Rabbi Mendel Kessin describe our blocks in terms of the zuhama, what was injected into Adom when he ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Our contact with these four elements comes from our natural body, our animalistic soul that experiences the consciousness inherent in inanimate, vegetable and animal life when we consume these or have thoughts and emotions. Remember, the vitality of all comes from only One Source, the Source of Life, the Creator and No Other. Recognize Hashem by recognizing there is His Power and Consciousness in the vitality. We thank Him for the opportunity of life to have consciousness that recognizes His Power and we ask that because we love Him, that the Shechina in exile in the matter be redeemed.
Anything that has vitality is filled with the universal one Consciousness that we experience although it is on the level of the form it takes. Thus, when we ingest food, the vitality we receive is coming from a place that has no moral choice into our being. We are capable of moral choices, to follow the Torah and to emulate His Compassion.-Often, because we are not aware that our consciousness is in order to become more and more G-d-conscious and grateful for the opportunity to do a G-d-like act and will to go above our animal nature, our talents and life force often turn towards taking and self-consciousness. Innocently, in “I want to do it myself,” we inadvertently make ourselves the power and deny or diminish Hashem chas v’shalom.
When we divert the gifts given to us away from G-d-Consciousness, we often also break something in the world for which we eventually have to do teshuva from a place of love. Why? If we were not focused on the morality of the Torah, then something else comes into the world that breaks us and the spiritual structures.The root causes of our errors in G-d-Consciousness are jealousy, anger, or taiva. Jealousy is the core, the feeling of lacking something. It stems from the awareness that we are NOT the Creator and want to be as great and simply cannot. Thus we attempt to try to fill that gap by taking from the physical world or using our gifts and talents to feel good through the use of power over others. If only we understood properly the good He desires to bestow! We would instantly submit to His Will.When we realize this is all futility, and we choose to do teshuva, we actually are then acting as much as Hashem allows us to act like Hashem. Only Hashem is able to go above nature. But we can sincerely will to go above our natural urges and instincts and ask Hashem to please help us clean off the channel of life force that is our spiritual being in a body because the animal soul is willing to submit its will for the purpose of His Will. We want to make the moral choice! We are not inanimate, vegetation, or animals! Hashem sustains all, whether or not moral choices are made or capable of being made. BUT WE HAVE REAL FREE WILL IN ORDER TO CHOOSE TO BE MORAL. We can will through submission and proper use of our talents that His Good become revealed through our choice to uphold the morality of the Torah, and we get credit in the form of eternal life for this inner effort. Let us undertake a willingness to remove the garments our soul that confuse and block us with painful judgments about ourselves or others. Let us see that the Source of the powerful experience is Hashem. Let us see it as the Shechina in exile in the hashgaha pratis of our lives He gives us so that we are able to recognize Him, ask, and receive the ability to reveal that goodness. We are empowered with speech, emunah, and real free will to ask Hashem for the privilege of bringing the good concealed in the fiery challenge into the world in a revealed form, infused from the inner effort of our awareness of Him, our gratitude for being alive in order to be aware of Him and to love Him.
Our choice to see we are here for this purpose is our choice to attach to Him for all eternity.
In Miriam Yerushalmi’s book on prayer and meditation, she describes the vessel of our lower will in a way that helps us understand our pain. The pain we feel is concealed light. What is happening is that our lower natural thinking is unable to hold all of the light. For example, if we have a crystal glass and we are sipping wine, the glass is well suited for it. But if we take that crystal glass and attempt to capture water from Niagra falls, very likely the crystal glass will shatter from the pressure of the water. This is our subjective, self-oriented natural existence.
Powerful light is flowing to our brains at every moment. If we are experiencing pain, it is because the vessel it is being received into needs to expand or change.
Let’s be specific. Hashem sends us a challenge and it triggers pain within us. We feel all of our alarms going off. We feel fiery anger or fear and immediately we are ready to place blame or shame on the source for being triggered. We may have to first contemplate deeply and analyze who is responsible, do some footwork to find the culprit. But once we find the person, it is all judgment and painful interactions to restore what we feel we rightfully lost. Sound familiar?
This description is the natural way that we are bound to the animal soul. We are glued to these responses neurologically because we ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil that made our awareness of ourselves the primary awareness and awareness of Hashem very submerged.
The name of the glue that keeps our neurology focused on ourselves is the zuhama injected by the snake that formed two kelipos, gaiva and taiva. These shells are filled with very high light. However the vessel of our natural neurology is unable to contain that high light in a revealed way without expanding to bring more awareness of Hashem into the picture ina way that our natural existence will submit to.
So here is an incentive to submit.
What if we knew with 100 Percent certainty that the strength of that zuhama that binds us to gaiva and taiva could be formed into a channel that would bring us great simcha? Would we be open to exploring that option?
There was a great man, Rabbi Asher Freund. He passed away in 2004. One of his followers came to him and Rabbi Freund asked him how he is. The man answered Baruch Hashem Hashem is helping me. Rav Freund looked at the man and said, Hashem is not helping me. The man, aghast, could not believe Rav Asher would say Hashem is not helping him. So he asked, Rav Freund, Hashem is not helping the Rav? Rabbi Freund answered. No. Hashem is not helping me. He is doing everything.
This is the proof. We believe that when we have a challenge, it is up to us to take some action to correct the matter. The action we need to take is to direct the strength of that false belief from everything we are experiencing and ask Hashem to please use that same glue to help us to reveal His Torah and to do mitzvahs and acts of kindness. Hashem please help us guard our soul from such negativity as to think we do anything! Once we start flowing all of the Shechina in exile in the hashgacha pratis of our lives into a request to be able to flow Torah, avoda and gemilas chesed into the world, Hashem answers. We are able to have an expanded vessel, no longer bounded by the daas of the kelipa but one that has expanded to awareness of Hashem and an increase in gratitude for our lives for having the opportunity to redeem the Shechina in exile from the animalistic urges and reactions.
As a person grows in this endeavor, the challenges that present themselves provide concealed light that easily flows through this new vessel and we are zocheh to experience that flow and to place a blessing and intention upon it from our truest selves, our spiritual consciousness, that spiritualizes physicality. Hashem uses our submission and allows us now to be the vessel through which a flow of His Goodness comes into the world. We are not doing it. He is doing it because we submit, we did teshuva, and we brought that Shechiina in exile in teshuva back to its Source to through our free willed choice and request. It is ours to enjoy in this lifetime and forever.
So please, if these words touch you, please consider a new plan of action when trembling with alerts, enraged, frightened, coiled and ready to strike. Redeem the shechina in exile from what glues us to these neurological responses by saying I am aware that this strength is You Hashem, there is No Other Power and I love You and I wish for this strength to please glue me to being a vessel to reveal Your Torah and kindness. Please help me.
Please take these words to heart. Please understand how a spiritual being in a body with an animalistic instinct is capable of willing for this to take place. Please understand that this is the integrated expression of the first three commandments. I am Hashem Who took you out of Egypt to be unto you a G-d. There is no other G-d do not worship idols. Do not desecrate my Name .
All there is in the world is Hashem. He is One and we are part of that. If we believe the doubts that the daas of the kelipa that comes from zuhama – the yetzer hara and Amalek – we think because of self-referencing that we are 1 and that, heaven forbid, means Hashem is zero. There is NO OTHER POWER. Find Him in that power!!!!! And release it with awareness and love and awe. Ask Hashem to please re-invest ithrough our intention to do the mitzvah of guarding our soul from negativity. Hashem does the rest.
Awe and gratitude and trembling result from a peek into the Divine space Hashem creates for us to live.
We have a spiritual being formed from Hashem’s intentions for this world to be a world of tikun. That spiritual being is placed in a body with an animalistic instinct and soul. That body and animalistic soul are natural and are sustained by Hashem’s Infinite love.
Included in that Infinite love is the light of tohu that fell into the world when the vessel of Adom HaRishon did not expand to withstand the urge he experienced when he violated the commandment to not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Had free will been used at that time to keep that commandment, the Tree of Life would have been established. Instead, we have become more and more focused on living according to what we perceive as bringing us happiness and gratification from the external world. When our animalistic soul feels a lack, we want to take something to restore its happiness, something from the external world. Waking up to the futility of this as the cause of addictions, what do we do instead?
The light of awareness of Hashem that Adom broke fell into this world as holy sparks. These holy sparks fill what sustains every inanimate object, vegetation, animals, and mankind. Hashem sustains everything, conscious of Him or not, whether it has or exercises real free will or not.
The goal of being conscious with a mortal lifetime is to bring the spiritual being Hashem gives us for tikun to enjoy eternal life in the presence of Hashem. How do we do that?
We do that by extracting the Shechina in exile within the food we eat, by keeping mitzvahs, and by rectifying our animalistic will so that it submits with real free will to have the Shechina in exile within it moved to Daas Torah activities, thereby earning eternal life and closeness with Hashem now and for all eternity.
That said, it is urgent that we find this place that we are being held back within us.
What feels to us as a natural reaction to disappointments and losses has vitality. And when we suffer at the seeming hand of another, we feel the other is responsible and we allay blame and we in our minds shame them by thinking “we would not do such a thing.” Such a natural reaction, however, IS coming from daas kelipa, is damaging to us, and keeps the Shechiina in exile and leads to pain and destruction either in our own health or in the hurt we bring to others. Just expressing the judgment to another party is triggering, for that sets off their daas kelipa with judgments of self and others.
What could be more natural than to tell everyone that what they have done has triggered us and that we find it offensive and want them to apologize! Torah tells us to rebuke each other as well! However, we are also taught not to offend another in the process of the rebuke. So how do we do this?
Our first step must be to comprehend that our reaction itself has the Shechina in exile and that until we bring it from the daas of the kelipa to daas Torah we have no idea what to do that will bring a positive influence forward. So we set aside the circumstances, not out of paralysis or fear or weakness, but out of recognizing the opportunity for our spiritual being to perform its mission of tikun and redeem the Shechina in exile from the response that we are experiencing.
We have an opportunity to bring something from the Infinite, in the surrounding light that Hashem has just placed our spiritual being in contact with because we are in a body and we have had a natural animalistic reaction.
Opportunity. Eternal life. Lower vessel vitality. Real free will. Yearning to bring it to the higher vessel, Torah avoda gemilas chesed – Daas Torah.
The natural animalistic part of us can come to recognize that opportunity and is willing to open to the shift. It is a matter of focus, of consciousness raising. Of emunah in Hashem. And trust in Hashem.
We are not required to experience or re-experience the traumas that may have caused the Shechina in exile to be so strongly embedded in our animalistic neurological reactions without a way of doing so that will guard and protect us from that pain. By viewing the opportunity with a yearning to bring the Shechina in exile from the daas of the kelipa to a more mature daas, daas of Torah, we provide safety and love for the animalistic soul within us. Our purpose is to empty and purge the vessel of the animalistic soul of the Shechina in exile that is vitalizing its painful reactions so that instead the body is able to reveal that very same light as a flow of blessing, healing, cancellation of gezeiras, satisfaction of din, and mitzvahs and chesed.
Hashem loves us constantly. When we have a reaction that feels like it has a life of its own, that is because it is vitalized by the Shechina in exile that does have consciousness and life because Hashem IS life itself. Every object, vegetable, animal and person is connected only to His Life. This is how we know we are constantly loved and lovable. This is what gives us courage to activate our spiritual being to do the tikun, to use real free will, to love Hashem, know He is One, and to yearn for the Shechina in exile in each of the painful thoughts or emotions that surface to please be the soul of a blessing or flow of mitzvahs that we intend to bring to the world instead of the natural reactivity we feel.
Thus, “how could she do that?” becomes, “there is Shechina in exile in my animalistic urges that is being triggered and it is fiery. Fire. I have opportunity to be aware. This is Hashem. There is no other Power. I love You Hashem and realize with awe the opportunity You are giving me. I wish that the vitality I am feeling that wants to take the pleasure of looking down on her is NOT what I really want, only what I want due to the daas of the kelipa. But I need Your help. I want to go above this want. I want to not want the daas of the kelipa because I know all there is in the world is You and I wish for the shechina in exile in this to come through my heart as revealed light. I choose to do the mitzvah of giving the benefit of the doubt, of seeing her good qualities, and of realizing that this is being given to me as a soul correction so that I may gain credit and merit for redeeming the Shechina in exile from the fiery reaction that I am experiencing. Please help me. It is my will to do Your Will, to do mitzvahs, chesed, and keep the Torah.”
Please ponder and consider this deeply. It is a layer below where our natural lives are. Many of us walk around triggered, stewing, seething silently, crying inside. We are good people. We need to comprehend more deeply the purpose of a soul coming into contact with an animalistic soul. May we grow in this understanding and may it bring us simcha and the ability to field the triggered reactions of others and ourselves with empowerment. May our efforts to do this tikun empty and purge the Shechina in exile in the daas kelipa and the yetzer hara permanently so that the forces of darkness are depleted and Hashem ‘s unified light may shine into the world through our keeping Torah and mitzvahs and emulating His Compassion.
“The world rests upon three things, Torah, avodah, and gemilut hasadim (chesed/kindness.)” Likewise there are three things that take us out of the world – jealousy, lustful desires, and craving for honor. Thirdly, we learn from the Shema that all there is in the world is Hashem, Who is the One and Only, Ein Od Milvado.
One might argue that if Hashem fills all the worlds, all thoughts and all emotions, how might something He fills, such as jealousy, lustful desires, or craving for honor take us out of the world when there is He Alone?
Let’s give this some thought.
Hashem desires a being that can recognize Him, that can pray and ask of Him, upon whom He can bestow the good. The good, we are taught, is to live eternally as a soul without the bread of shame, without the feeling of inadequacy at not being able to be Hashem Himself. Every creation is an emanation of Hashem. Obviously an emanation cannot be the Creator of itself. How is it possible to live for eternity without feeling “inadequate” at not being able to be the Creator, Who is all powerful? And why would Hashem, by placing the Shechina in exile within the experiences we naturally and neurologcially feel, deem this to be very good?
While alive, when we recognize Hashem’s power within the darkness of our challenging emotions, something important happens for our soul. From the vitality powering the inner chaos, we acquire something to inoculate us from this bread of shame.
In that moment, we are aware that the only Power is Hashem, in the form of the Shechina in exile, the forces that animate nature and empower the kelipot. Hashem agrees to animate a distasteful experience ONLY to give us the use of real free will. When we overcome the self-referencing understanding of our natural being in order to be aware of Him, we merit something towards this inoculation against the bread of shame. We empty our intellect of the falsehoods that keep the Shechina in exile animating our personal chaos. Somehow, an eternal life is secured through our willingness to recognize Hashem as the Shechina in exile within every challenging thought, emotion, and natural will of human nature.
In the moment we do so, we are willing to go above our nature, something only Hashem can do. Only Hashem is capable of going above nature, but we are given real free will to WILL to go above our nature and that makes all the difference. In that moment, by willing to go above our natural reactions, we make a G-dlike choice for our personal universe. Through awareness and gratitude, the Shechina in exile that empowers the kelipot becomes less and less, and our will to be aware and grateful gives us the “credit” for having returned it to its Source. The very same light is held in our hearts to flow as blessings.
Jealousy. Craving for honor. Lustful desires. These are experiences of something that our natural consciousness feels is lacking and wants. It is the Shechina in exile within hashgacha pratis. Hashem is doing everything. He desires that we recognize Him and ask in prayer, that we will to bring His Compassion through to our hearts.
Let’s scrutinize it more. That feeling of jealousy. How could it be so strong? Craving for honor, for recognition, for positive image…how could it be such a powerful motivator? Lustful desires – where do urges and impulses come from?
Hashem fills all worlds, all thoughts and all emotions. The Shechina agrees to be in exile within human nature in order that we recognize Him as the Only Power AND through recognition, thank Him for our lives and for the real free will to go above our nature. We ask Him to please, by virtue of our awareness and gratitude, to strengthen our emunah to be the vessel through which that very light may enter our hearts. We ask that our hearts, speech and deeds become a channel for His Compassion to flow into the world.
Specifically, how do we do this?
From our hearts, we open the channel. We fulfill the commandment to love Hashem. How is it possible for Hashem to command us to love Him? Only because He Himself gives us the ability to love, for it is His Quality that He embeds within us. Thus, it is reasonable for Hashem to instruct us to love Him, especially since this commandment and the commandment to have awe in Hashem are the two “wings” whereby the Shechina in exile is able to be distilled from our self-referencing and returned to its pure state of compassion. The darkness dissolves. And we merit inoculation from the bread of shame for all eternity. And, while we are alive, we are utilizing our free will to extract from the natural flow of life eternal life and meaning.
To review, when we experience these negative powerful natural experiences, we recognize Him as the Only Power and with love for Him, begin to pray to Him that all of what we are experiencing should please come into the world as blessings, healing, cancellation of gezerias, removal of harsh judgments and a revelation of His Will. We ask that our teshuva, our will to return the Shechina in exile to its pure state, be a merit for all Klal Yisrael.
Specifically, in the vastness of the chaotic darkness we may be experiencing, focus on the Shechina in exile within the impulses and urges. THERE IS NO OTHER POWER. Every thought that surfaces while in that place of awareness brings to mind the ways we may have overlooked this truth in the past. The thoughts and experiences we feel while focusing on the truth are coming to be healed – for the Shechina in exile to be redeemed. This is the work we may do in the moment, what Hashem wills for us to do. He alone is in charge of the circumstances that we have zero control over.
The amazing task we have is to deplete the daas of the kelipa of the Shechina in exile as it exists within our hashgacha pratis and neurological responses by remembering Hashem’s love for us, loving Him, praying, and asking to redirect the light into blessings that reveal Him. We will. Hashem does everything. And there is a gift of healing He bestows.
We are our effort to do this is service of Hashem. We will that we be the beings that flow His Compassion into the world. To do so, we must unblock our self-referencing. We are here to spiritualize our consciousness and body. When we are in unspiritualized consciousness, we are losing precious moments where we might be gaining merits of flowing compassion, Torah and prayer into the world. More so, the Shechina in exile within us is drained into the darkness, animating it further with more and more layers of concealment THAT WE ADD. These are called aveiras.
Practically speaking, when we follow the best advice of the natural world to try to be powerful or reach a goal, it is crucial that first we spiritualize our consciousness. Otherwise, we may inadvertently think that our judgment and subsequent actions are the purpose of the challenge. We would be following the “daas of the kelipa,” the integrated understanding of the natural world as we know it. Our bodies coil to strike out with words or deeds that are filled with or cause pain, separation, and concealment of His Love.
The purpose of every challenge is to recognize the Creator, pray to Him, and ask that the Shechina in exile within the challenge come through our emunah into our spiritual being in order that we be the channel that brings the Shechina from its exile in darkness into time and space as revealed compassion.
After we take the time to spiritualize consciousness, we may then evaluate the steps to take. Chances are, we will be far more aware of the G-dliness of all those involved, far more aware of how each one is struggling with the same types of unspiritualized consciousness that is affecting their emotions, and far more patient as we see the unique opportunity to recognize Hashem, pray, and ask for the hidden light to come through us as revealed compassion.
Where we otherwise might want to complain and argue, blame or shame, attack or criticize, get even or defend our honor, we can instead recognize Hashem, spiritualize consciousness and regulate our emotions in accordance with Hashem’s will. Hashem’s will is to have a creation that recognizes Him, prays to Him, upon Whom He can bestow the good, which is eternal life without the bread of shame.
We are our effort to do this. Hashem runs our organs. He runs every circumstance. The only thing we have is real free will. We are our effort to grow in using it, to build our emunah, and to experience inner joy and simcha, in this world and the next.
So next time our integrated understanding of the world and human nature whisper to us judgments and actions, stop. Realize that we have missed the place where Hashem is awaiting us to spiritualize our consciousness and redeem the Shechina from exile. Fixing our will so that we make His Will ours is the goal. When we properly use free will, we no longer have free will. Instead, we have spiritual consciousness, healing, simcha and merit for eternal life free of the bread of shame.
When we find ourselves in judgmentalism that is emotional, that means we have found daas kelipa, the wisdom of our natural physical being. It means we flew past our behira point – our free will point – to be aware of Hashem and grateful for the opportunity of life. The opportunity of life is to remove tuma (uplift the holy sparks embedded in self-consciousness) in order that our hearts hold a unified light to shine His Compassion.
The effort is in will, to will to go above daas kelipa reactions because of awareness and gratitude. The vessel is our emunah, for only by our faith do we hold by walking towards awareness and gratitude rather than succumbing to every natural reaction that we experience.
Then our heart opens with love for Hashem. Hashem embeds in our soul the ability to love – His Innermost characteristic. We will to go above our natural reactions because we will to associate everything within us with His Will, His Wisdom, His Love, and His Torah. Pervasive darkness or powerful negativity may feel overwhelming. However, we ask Him to help us to place the darkness within a capsule of love, opening the love He embeds in our soul from within our heart to yearn to feel His Love.
Chochma and Torah are keneged water, nurture, love. Hashem has a fool-proof way to bring us to purity. Our free will to go above our nature opens the waters of Torah and love that then create a boundary for the otherwise unbounded overwhelming natural reactions. We have thus immersed our judgmental experience into a mikvah – water and love.
The Shechina in exile within the challenge is then able to float from the darkness into our hearts for expression as compassion. Without vitality from Hashem, the darkness dissipates.
What stops us is our doubts, our fears about letting go of the wisdom of our natural existence. Torah teaches us that this belief in our own autonomy has flaws. Torah teaches us that we cannot become our true selves until we bitul the daas of the kelipa, the best of our natural wisdom. As long as we find solutions in the daas of the kelipa, we are missing a crucial step that makes all the difference. That crucial step is emunah to hold steady to bring us to awareness of Hashem and gratitude, and bitachon to hold us steady through the uncertainties that our natural thinking wants to pull us back with. How do we hold steady? We trust that even though it is uncertain, Hashem is the One and Only and it is all good, no matter our natural reactions.
This is very hard for us, indeed. Try to see the vitality of each step of our natural process. See truly and deeply that we are given the free will to redeem the holy sparks from every thought that seems compelling. Try it and see that when we do so, we become whole, calmer, warmer, lighter, more insightful compassionate beings, closer to Hashem’s attributes of mercy, with a simcha and a fullness in our hearts that gives us real confidence. The Shechina in exile within those challenges brings a light we have no other way of gaining access to. And after 120 years, when our soul faces the Throne of Honor and wishes to move toward it, we will not recognize those dark compelling downward pulls that want to pull us to the darkness. We will do as we did in life, and go towards awareness and gratitude and light.
We are walking in Divine space. Hashem is doing everything. He wants us to spiritualize the world by spiritualizing our emotions. We have real free will to do so. We have the creative power of speech to do hisbodidus and to pray and to ask for Help. And we have the heart to hold the gifts He gives and to be a flow of blessings into the world of the light and love He is sending every moment, albeit it comes in a hidden way, awaiting our effort to bring it from an inner world to this world through our effort, through our emunah, through our bitachon, and through our speech and deeds.