How we can really feel loved is by loving Hashem

There is a story about the child of a big rav who would travel to speak on Shabbosims The man said that although his famous father was not often there he knew his father loved him because in the mornings, when the father awakened the child, he had warmed the boy’s clothes on the heater and dressed him under the covers so that he was warm and not cold in his pajamas.  That was how he knew his father loved him.  His father took care of him and cared to the level of his bodily needs.

The condition of being a soul in a body is that Hashem is taking care of our needs but we think it is by our own hand because Hashem is so deeply hidden from us by our intellect having developed before we could understand Hashem is doing everything. Yet Hashem warmed our clothes for us, so to speak, by giving us the Torah.  When we follow the Torah and “put on ” its garments, taking off our “pajamas,” we feel the warmth of His Presence and the healing in our hearts.

How do we take off the pajamas?  The pajamas are our reptilian brain, our limbic system reactions, our intellect that developed in time and space without awareness that Hashem is doing everything and that instead “computes” and interprets on a faulty basis – our interpretations and feelings.  What warms the mitzvahs for us is when we can sense within those emotions how they parallel water wind fire and earth, the four foundations, the elements of creation. Torah tells us that Hashem is concealed in nature and when we take the time in hisbodedus to describe our reactions and we trace it to water/lusts/urges/desires, or fire/destruction/strength/anger/fear or wind/honor/speech/compassion/ruach hakodesh or earth/sadness/solid/laziness, we begin to see that we are, indeed, a part of Hashem  and in pajamas rather than in the royal garb befitting a life force hewn from Hashem’s throne.   

Once we come to see that the life force is trapped in pajamas – comfortable and familiar messages that are untznius and flimsy – we can see that our life force is only on the level of nature.

  Water, fire, wind.  If we desire love, trust that He loves us and begin to give love.  This drawns upon us His Love, which heals our hearts of the emptiness, the darkness of the movements and currents of our lives. And if we were traumatized and have fallen fear, we dig to the strong messages and judgments to find hidden within them our life force trapped in messages of survival and of feeling ourselves but in an illusion of being in control. A person is angry or hates because that gives the feeling of control whereas rejection (lack of water), sadness (downward pulls of earthiness), or pain (ego image regarding a lack) do not.

Torah comes to teach us that Hashem is the soul of the water wind fire and earthly elements, even as they are attached to our pajama messages, our flimsy childish interpretations that formed in our brain at early ages upon which we build our lives and our pursuits.  When we shower compassion on the life force trapped there, knowing He designs us to be a channel across which that life force can become revealed and re-garmented in Torah avoda chesed and mitzvahs, we ask for that strength to go to our emunah for the purpose of so re-garmenting. 

In order for us to withstand the bumpy experiences that refusing to listen to pajama messages entails imagine we are uprooting cedar trees or vegetation that has grown over many years  We need an elephant to pull it out!  Hashem is the one who does the heavy lifting.  We have the intention, the emunah, the love for Hashem and the awe in how He has designed us and we cry out in hisbodidus that we do not wish to fall.  We cling to Hashem is doing everything and that we know He loves us and we love Him and therefore shower this urge or impulse or thought’s soul with compassion because He is the one we love and we want to be the worthy vessel across which that life force may come into this world in royal garments, garments of Torah, avoda, chesed and mitzvahs.

Included in what will present itself is “Is Hashem amongst us?” the voice of doubt trying to push us into pajama messages but Hashem told us about that in Torah as well as showed us about that at Purim time.   Spot it and shower the soul within that with compassion too and bring that forth to strengthen emunah and do mitzvahs.

Hashem may I have water, fire, and wind to flow into the world according to Your Good Will and not according to pajama messages?  Hashem designs us for this very reason SO WE CAN BE CERTAIN HE WILL SAY YES.  Turn to mitzvahs and learning Torah.  Hashem is very big.  Whatever happens will be the very best outcome, and because we did the avoda that He instructs us, there is a simcha shel mitzvahs that results.

That simcha shel mitzvahs is addictive and there is no greater pleasure.  It is something that we would not give up for anything, although we do when we fall because we were not conscious that what we are doing will cost us that devekus. We begin to see how all we want is Hashem. 

When we experience simcha shel mitzvahs and we see that Hashem is also in charge of our circumstances and we notice changes in our circumstances, we know He loves us in a way that keeps us in devekus clinging to Him, for we are dependent upon Him for everything at all times.

Knowing this pathway is the greatest healing for any trauma or challenge.  We literally are able to redeem our life force from the grips of that darkness and turn it into simcha shel mitzvahs and devekus, the pleasure for which we are created.

Obviously this is not a secular therapeutic technique.  It takes a strengthening of emunah and the experiential growth of bitachon.  Nevertheless, this pathway is there and is available to everyone, no matter what, for He is our Father.  Let us comprehend this deeply and may the love for Hashem and the awe for the design arouse within us the fortitude to deepen our understanding of nullifying the sense of self in favor of being a worthy vessel through which Hashem’s light may be revealed through our redeeming it from water fire wind and earth that is attached to pajama messages and intentionally moving forward with Torah avoda chesed and mitzvahs as its new garment, royal clothes for the King’s Infinite light.  And may our effort to do so bring a redemptive light to the world and be a merit for klal yisrael and a salvation for mankind.

Kindly consider an act of ahavas yisrael,  Should you have the means and find this cause meritorious, we are raising funds for a young woman who is recovering from a stroke and needs intensive physical therapy over the next year.  http://eemunah.com/donate.

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