Practically make ourselves conscious of being a part of the flow of light – through hisbodedus

When I am so busy with carpool,, little kids, cooking and parnassa how do I practically make myself conscious of being a part of the flow of light?

We learn about the chariot and it sounds so esoteric and spiritual and above us. And the technical details may well be.

However, its relevance to us is crucial to know and compassionate of Torah to tell us so that the reason and purpose of our lives may be approached. Whom amongst us does not hit turbulent emotions and find themselves in painful judgments of ourselves or others? Whom amongst us acts upon these to our own or to another’s damage, which eventually we realize and regret? What if we could come to trust that the only purpose for all of our challenges is to re-direct Hashem’s Infinite Light concealed by our nature, returning the power of the fallen sparks to its Source? Would we not feel excited and privileged to be given the opportunity? Do we see the amazing reframe when we expand our understanding of the reason and purpose for which we are here? Skeptical? Take a look at this Torah Wellsprings from Rabbi Biderman on Parshas Toldos that shows the struggle between Esav and Yaakov..

It is within reach, and it is not too hard to begin to take a closer look at our values and beliefs because all the heavy lifting of fallen fears and powers is done by Hashem. Listen here to Rav Dror on “Still Confused About Inner Truth? and to Rav Dror on Who is Hashem- Real Answers

We are here to exercise will, awe of Hashem, love for Hashem, and nullification of anything that pulls us to thinking we have any kind of independent separate existence or power. The flow of chesed that emanates from Hashem is constant and provides a Source of Infinite Light for us to bring into this world through mitzvahs. Our challenges – all of them – are an influence from Elokim, Hashem’s concealed Infinite Light, that He is offering to us as our opportunity to bring from concealment into this world by asking Him for mercy as we move forward with mitzvahs.

To understand what it means to be a vessel receiving a divine flow of mercy and how to experience that in every moment of our lives, the practice of hisbodedus, personal prayer in Hashem’s presence, is the tool. Hisbodedus is how we begin to distinguish within our self-consciousness an inner voice to listen to and the external inwardly experienced messages we are intended to re-invest into mitzvahs.

How do we find the time?

Imagine if 30 minutes talking to Hashem about your day could transform your entire day into mitzvahs… matter what…worth looking into?

From the Bilvavi article Bilvavi-Clarifying the Purpose of Life
Link to pdf

“If one would know it properly (the Hebrew word for knowledge is yediah, which means connection), and would be attached to the information, his whole way of life would necessarily change. If a person would apply the entire weight of his spiritual energy toward this fact, and he had a live, burning commitment to the truth, he would take a paper and pen and record for himself the purpose of his life. He would place this paper in his pocket and take it out every quarter of an hour or so, in order to constantly remind himself about it, so that this fact will not be forgotten by him and he will live by it.”

What, in truth, is the purpose of a man in his world? The words of the Mesillas Yesharim (Ch. 1) are known. He wrote, “The truth is that the only true perfection is deveikus to Hashem. This is what David Hamelech declared: “As for me, closeness to Hashem is my good…” (Tehillim 73:28). “

By taking time in hisbodedus, we begin to understand the forces within us and we begin to identify the inner struggle that is the point of being in this world. Without finding this inner struggle, we continue from childhood throughout life believing the messages that are “advising” us regarding feeling ourselves and acting for our own self-interest. For spiritual maturity to take place, inquiry into olam haba and the purpose of our lives in olam haze must begin.

Wondering how to begin on a loving and gentle opening of our eyes in Hashem’s presence?

Devorah Yaffa Singer offers an amazing series called Lights of Emunah – it is sourced in Torah and taught with excitement. It is 32 classes and each month includes an hour of 1 on 1 discussion with her. For more information, contact her at or at this link

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