When it comes to personal journies, there are no two identical paths. Below is an outline to relate with regarding where your journey is. From the place of your journey, hopefully the resources on identityfor2020.com will provide something of interest.
There are inanimate objects, vegetables, animals, human (speaking being), and a Yid
The place where nullification takes place is the nefesh behema so that we can bring out the inner being, the nefesh elokis, the soul that is made in Hashem’s Image.
With real free will, and the power of speech, our intellect born from the nefesh behema within a person can submit itself from awe and love for Hashem in order to expand its understanding to include greater awareness of Hashem, His love for us, and that He is doing everything. The power within us to do this is in the keter, which is composed of emunah, taanug, and ratzon. Faith, pleasure, and will.
If a human goes with the natural intellect, an intellect that is an outgrowth of the nefesh behema, the animal soul, our understanding is limited to perceptions based on the attachment to people and physicality. Even with a sense of Hashem, what is in the basic brain does not naturally perceive Hashem as the true simcha of this world.
An integrated understanding of Hashem and Torah is one where our intellect expands and focuses on serving Hashem as its primary relationship from love for Hashem and out of awe, experientially understanding that Hashem is doing everything and that He loves us unconditionally. In the manner that we acquire this experiential understanding comes along a circumcision of our heart whereby our love for Hashem is more and more naturally experienced. Feeling connected in a simcha-dik way with Hashem leads to our sincerity in learning Torah, doing mitzvahs, giving tzedakah and doing chesed, and praying from the heart. When we act from such a place, we are serving as one with Hashem, as a kli rishon for doing His Will. This is the level each of us can strive for, to have real daas.
The journey is about having the self-control in the moment to insert something between our first reaction and our action. In order to regulate our downward pulls, the key focus is to put Hashem in the center, recognizing that He is the only force, the only power, and the cause behind all causes.
With that key focus, the next step is to trust that the messages that are upsetting us are divisible from the force of the message. We can and must recognize that the force within the message is no other than Hashem, concealed, trapped in our natural message and animating it – our own life force, the soul He gives to us, that has been wired to a message that is an outgrowth of the animal soul. Hashem agrees as Elokim to abide by the laws of nature, and thus, in order for the message and the force in the message to separate, we activate will and generate compassion upon the Shechina in exile in that dark message. We tell Hashem that we do not want to put our life force, that He is bestowing upon us, into such darkness because we know that He is doing everything and that He is all loving and only compassionate.
At that point, we confess in hisbodidus how it feels to us, how we are experiencing it as a creation of a body that has both a nefesh behema and a nefesh elokis. We acknowledge that we are helpless and dependent upon Him but tell Him that we want to move forward to place all of the life force within us into learning Torah, doing chesed, doing mitzvahs, and praying.
Hashem creates the world to bestow good upon His Creations and He then activates the nefesh elokis within us to draw the part of our soul trapped in the painful message from that message. As we move towards doing the mitzvah, with the intent of re-garmenting our soul with that mitzvah, Hashem separates the Shechina in exile in the message and allocates it and the Infinite Light that fills it into the mitzvah.
He then gives us credit for bringing that new light into the world, even though He did it. Because we willed it, showered the Shechina in exile with compassionate recognition of Elokim and because we acted with sincere desire to bring that Infinite Light into the world through a mitzvah, He heals our mind-heart and He removes the spiritual damages we may have generated, although a Yom Kippur may be necessary.
In order to develop our levels of understanding of our soul and how it can be in exile animating a negative thought pattern, a study of the four foundations of the middos as well as a study of how breathing helps us sense our soul helps us work with our deceptive beliefs and find our true essencde, the nefesh elokis treasured within us that is made in Hashem’s Image and that at its tip is already in a state of constant pleasurable relationship Hashem through emunah. The Bilvavi, Orit Riter, and Rabbi Ginsburg have classes about breathing and sensing our soul more deeply. By experiencing the nefesh elokis at the level where it has clarity and simcha in Hashem, we bring those feelings more and more into our consciousness so as to be available to us more and more in the moment.
The messages that are animated by our soul naturally often date back to our earliest years, when we develop attachment to people and the world. Although these attachments are crucial to the environment of our mind and emotions for a lifetime, Hashem has designed it such that these attachments are formed before a concept of Hashem is even possible – ages 0 to 2.
This is the design of Hashem. He designs our nefesh elokis to draw back the soul that He knows is going to get trapped in natural thinking and animalistic instincts. He is willing to suffer in those dark places in order to give us real free will. In so doing, He can give us the experience of being with Him in the greatest way possible, without the bread of shame, for all eternity, for it will appear to us as though by willing it, we “did it.” He gives us the credit even though He is doing everything.
Thus it is up to us to recognize our blemishes. These blemishes are given to the nefesh behema – sparks from the world of tohu (Elokim) – so that our subconscious “female” understanding immediately couples with these seemingly powerful messages. We are given real free will to use emunah, will and speech to unify our soul from this natural bond and have the intention and make an effort through prayer to bond instead with awareness of Hashem’s Torah and love for us.
Should we recognize our blemishes but mistakenly think that they cannot be changed or that they represent who we really are, our soul is invested more and more into the darkness, chas v’shalom. At some point, so much is invested that we try to make the darkness seem like it is light, through finding ways of taking what we need from the natural presenting world.
The Vilna Gaon tells us that we are only in this world to work on our middos, to rectify the four foundations from being bonded with the natural so as to be a being that transforms its middos into a kli that reveals Hashem’s light and Torah.
Life has an expiration date. Yet it is meant to be a loving and joyful journey. The more emunah and bitachon we have that no matter what Hashem is with us and is doing everything, the more we will be able to utilize breathing to separate out the part of our soul that initially may be drawn towards the contradiction of that and return it into a mitzvah.
And may the light we are able to usher into the world bring a new light and peace for all.
For resources to learn to help with each step of the way, please visit http://identityfor2020.com