As Yom Kippur rapidly approaches, I am filled with great hope for 5780. The reason is because I am hearing from many speakers of many varieties essential consciousness and the value of pursuing it.
Inner consciousness, daas, is integrated understanding of the Torah. What I have learned this year is that our feelings for our lives are coming from our experiences with the physical world. Although there is great joy and comfort from this beautiful world, Hashem did not create us solely for the enjoyment of this world because He also wants us to enjoy our eternity. Thus, life challenges abound so that we may be mesiras nefesh what feels to us like our lives in favor of digging our will into an internal place where our hearts and His Compassion merge.
It may feel like we are giving up everything we know. But that is only because we have yet to experientially know something – a great pleasure- that can only be attained through emunah and nullification. That great pleasure is the joy of being one with Hashem in doing His Will. To the part of us that rather eat sleep vacation and the like, this may sound very distant. The reason it is distant is because the topic of development of inner consciousness is not directly taught.
However, the reason for my hopefulness is that I am hearing people trying to teach this. And not just as a nicety to help us balance our existence within physical reality, but rather as the core of our existence, the reason we are alive. Our pursuit of inner consciousness and making connection with Hashem then is what brings about our physical comforts as well, for when we make His Will ours, He makes our needs and wants His Will and delivers them to us in amazing ways.
Remember, Hashem is doing everything. There is No Other Power. What we experience as ourselves are the tough skin we developed because our minds developed in a physical world before it had any comprehension of what a soul is or who Hashem is, when we were 0 to 2 years old. Did you know that most of the personality is formed by the age of 2? Isn’t that a tip off to how Hashem has designed the world? He desires us to first become attached to nature so that our lofty soul connected to Him has an attachment to this world, its feet on the earth, so that the nefesh elokis is a ladder across which the holy sparks may flow from our physicality and then become revealed compassion through our actions, speech and thoughts.
In the moment when we fall, that is the moment for emunah.
In the moment when we need that emunah, we are in the dark, helpless and not in control with waves of emotions from our subconsious surfacing. Confess our arrogance in continuing to believe what we learned when young about cause and effect being in our hands. Admit that Hashem Alone is the primary cause and ask Him for forgiveness. Tell Him we do not want our hateful and powerful survival instincts to be the motivation for our actions. In the moment when those waves are attempting to draw our thinking, we run to Hashem with confidence, with total trust that our life force merely is in need of connecting back to Him. We got momentarily disconnected by the natural laws that appear to rin the world but that only conceal His Omnipotence. Shall we pursue solutions of disconnection or shall we drop that approach in favor of Torah – do a mitzvah, learn Torah, pray, do a chesed? The moment we use real free will and have compassion upon our soul, the life force that is constantly connected to Hashem, that is by virtue of being in a body with a limbic system also connected to nature, we are available to Hashem as that channel through which He may draw BACK TO Him Infinite light feom the challenge and return it as revealed light dispelling the darknl nTural message. The very emotions surfacing from our subconscious are the fuel for igniting (from our real free will to rise above our natural reactions out of love for Hashem) a process that Hashem then does by flowing Infinite light from those subconscious messages into the performance of mitzvahs.
And thus, after hearing for myself so much Torah during elul and the 10 days, I am heartened because I SEE THAT EVERYONE IS SAYING THE SAME THING. Now the topic is how to learn about inner consciousness and how to bring it into our homes and to our children so that we may all cling to Him with joy and live as He designs us to live, in a Utopia, with His Light revealed.
It is up to US. We are the channel. Let us find the tools to grow into the inner penimius of Torah.