Vulnerable share – examples of reinvesting soul trapped in both lack and ego pain

Kindly take the time to listen to this share…it is not typed out because it is recorded from the heart….the purpose of the share is to increase awareness that everything we are experiencing is an echo from when we first attached to this world and is intended by Hashem for us to realize it is He in exile within our subconscious asking us to choose to return the holy spark to Him using our real free will.

It takes emunah to do this, to drag ourselves from the fiery coals of our natural thinking and pain and self-image curtains. Yet the end result is that place in our mind no longer is a home for the trigger as a painful event, but rather as an awareness that helps us bring Torah and chesed and radical acceptance and trust in Hashem into our hearts, our thoughts, our speech and our deeds.

May the light we serve as a channel back to Him bring a new light, a light of healing, salvation and redemption for all. And when He returns the captives to Zion, may the joy of our effort be eternal bliss.

addendum – Rabbi Moshe Genuth on Shabbos of Shabboses Yom Kippur – Hashem needs the Kohen Gadol to release Him from where He agrees to be “imprisoned” in this world!!!!

Time forms into a fabric through the design of the world…we are wearing time!! We perform mitzvahs. Gilgul means we are wrapped up in the different periods we have been in. Deeper inside there is a garment around me from a different time. what created that garment is the mitzvahs that I did or from the Kohen Gadol. I co-exist in all these places at the same time. I have to create the garment for this or I keep coming back. When we do a mitzvah with it, we take the garment with us wherever we go.






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Drushim yom kippur chapter 1 Shabbos of shabbosims
 
The highest of shabboses.  The holiest of the holy.  You shall mortify (with awe, subdue the body or its needs or desires) the body (fast your souls) in the 9th in the evening, from evening to evening, you shall stop from work and refrain from eating.
The Alter Rebbe asks why on the 9 when Yom Kippur is the 10th.  Why doesn’t it say the ninth?
This shows up in Vayikra. In this one it refers to the day as male.  The other hower, the one in achrei amot, hashem teaches aaron how to come into the holy of holies. When it talks about the holidays it says on the ninth of the 7th month, Yom Kippur, it says this holiest of days in a masculine way.  It is called by the feminine. 
 
He and Hoo. 
Hoo is masculine, it is in a masculine form.  But in achrei it is he lochem, in a feminine form.
 
Shabbat shabbaton is feminine in this chapter but in achrei mot it says hu lachem.  In the nine day, not the ninth of the month, from evening to evening halt work and food.
The main difference is not male and female. In achrei mot this is a law forever. But in emor it ends with the time the ninth day.
We are elevating to a status where we do not need to eat. It is a day of intense joy. 
What is important about this is that it says the seventh month, the tenth day. 
The main question is why does the passuk end differently in both places why one masculine one feminine and why do they end differently.
 
In emor, chapter 17 it would have been more appropriate to say it is an everlasting law. In achrei mot it is talking about the order of the service and that is only relevant when there is beis hamikdosh. Otherwise it is not relevant because you can’t do it. But an eternal law is whether or not there is a beis hamikdosh.
 
In emor he is talking about the order of the festivals and that is eternal whether or not there is a temple we cant do anything but we still have the holidays so there it should have said eternal low, in in achrei mot where it is describing the temple service.
So what is aaron doing in the holy of holies once a year.
 
He is atoning, cleansing it from the impurities of the Jewish people, that somehow we caused impurities in the temple itself, that our actions desecrated the temple.  We make mistakes, a korbon can become tame and yom kippur from the standpoint of the temple is resetting the temple, cleansing it of the impurities, and that is what the service is about.  Still we have a kapara hakodesh, from the inner point of view what does it mean to cleanse the holy.  When we say kapara there is some kind of chait, a transgression involved.  When there is something impure it is a chait.
 
There is atonement.  What is that about.  A direct student of Yisrael Srug, another student of the Arizal, who wrote this book . what does he say there?  Why does it say that he atones for the holy or he cleanses the holy.  Really he is talking about aaron who is supposed to do this.  It is referring to Hashem that He is the holy we are cleansing, not the tabernacle. 
It says that Hashem is willing to dwell in us, amongst us, even though we sin, we are impure.  He ware cleansing His presence, the Shechina.
In the same way, aaron is doing it for the tabernacle but the real work is cleansing the shechina.  When Hashem committed to being in this world He commits to being in the laws of this world and a prisoner cannot free Himself from incarceration so He needs the kohen gadol to do it for Him.  His Presence is for the kohen to cleanse it.  To cleanse the holiness of the holy.  He changes the wording from achrei mot.
 
These are the questions.  To understand the changes in the wording, we have to start – what is the purpose of mitzvahs. Why do we have commandments?
 
We know that the purpose of the soul is to do the commandments today, as it says in the Zohar, and Avraham came with his days.  What we call time is meaningless if it is not a garment for the soul. How do we wear each day?  Through the commandments, that are described as garments.  The real maning of time is the commandments we do that form the day.  Time is like a thread.  One dimensional.  We only see it moving in one direction.  We are getting a thread of lifetime at the speed of time. What are we going to do with it, be carried by it, time is passing, or we take the thread and we weave it into a garment, a three dimensional garment when we wear it.  We are pulling this thread back and forth through the commandments and creating a fabric.
 
Time is at first one dimensional and through our actions we can make it two dimensional and then three dimensional when we wear it.
 
Why three dimensions of space and only one of time?  If you have three dimensions of space, why is time not the same, why can’t we wear time, be contained in time.  How can we be contained in time?  The only way we can come into it is to create a garment we can put on .  we change the fabric of what time means to us. Otherwise life is just a passing through and we come out with a long string but nothing to wear.
 
Hashem has created space in three dimensions so we have a place to function but time is up to us. Hashem created in order to do….He created time in such a way that through our actions we can manipulate it so we can wear it and it can be used.
 
Really this fabric is made out of 613 commandments, each one a pattern in the fabric.  A person has to perform each one.  If I am in a time period where there is no beis hamikdosh it is okay because I was also in a time period where there was a beis hamikdosh.
 
When you learn chassidus and you have to try to understand what they are saying, we see images…where do you get the idea of time forming into a fabric.  What does it mean that you wear time?  The picture that kabala and chassidus has of the soul is that each one of us has to perform 613 commandments.  There used to be no way to do Mesiras nefesh however it has become much more normal today.  Expulsion holocaust, etc.
What does a neshama do…it has to be here and here and here,   we think time is sequential, like a thread.  But gilgul means it is like we are wrapped up in all the different periods we were in.  deeper inside there is a garment around me that I am wrapped in, and my mitzvahs in that time period created that garment, I or the kohen gadol.  I am coexisting in all those places at the same time if I continue to coexist, if I don’t create the garment I have to come back until I do create one to wrap myself in.
The thread is one dimensional. It becomes a garment when we do mitzvahs and we take it with us wherever we go.  That is a man of all ages, of all the ages with me.  Why do I learn gemara?  They were setting up the basic fabric from which all the garments are made, from how we make the garments for all ages.

addendum from Miriam Yerushalmi

SPOTLIGHT ON TANYA
col 4, Chap 20 pages 372-379

Note:
Ever sometimes feel that you can’t keep up with another person. They seem so spiritual, so much more refined – so much more connected. So much more PERIOD. What you are about to learn can really help you better tolerate yourself. We learn in Tanya that some souls are randomly chosen (almost like a lottery) and by the “kiss” of Gd enter this world with a high pristine soul that they were gifted with. Now we can finally understand why such there are such differences between people -even between two siblings that are raised by same parents.

Here is an example to help better understand how different souls come into the world- Just like the gestation period of a baby in their mother’s stomach and environmental factors can affect the health of the new born child, so too, souls go through a “gestation” period as they descend the four worlds and enter this world .

Instruction:

NEVER EVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANOTHER AND FEEL BAD!

BUT……If you happen to catch yourself comparing yourself -get inspired by them and use the experiences as a motivational factor to help you reach new heights ONLY!!!!!!

You are trying to Reach New Heights and that is what counts!

We leaned earlier in this chapter of Tanya that there are external Kelim of the Sefirot which is what allows for created entities and varying forms of Yesh – including the body of angels.

“And His (Gd’s) angel He charges with the deficiency.” (Iyov 4:18). As we see in this phrase that there is an implication of the nearness of Angels to Gd, yet even these angels are deficient in that they are a Yesh and not Divinity.

Why? Because angels are not fully in a state of nullification because they are created in a manner of something (Yesh) from nothing (Ayin).

By contrast, the soul’s of angels and the soul’s of humans emerge by the more ethereal manner of union of the Sefirot (whence spiritual entities emanate such as the soul’s of angels) called is called Zivug Neshikin – “the union of kissing.” It’s as if the kiss protects these souls so as they descend through the world’s they are unaffected and stay at their pristine lofty level.

Another form of union of the higher worlds (I.e-6 middos with Aztilut that creates the soul’s of humans and souls) called Zivug Gufani – “a physical union” (relative to the other union). From this union derives the birth of souls that become enclothed in actual physical bodies.

Because there is restricted diffusion of the Kav (which like a pipeline) and thus lacks the Infinite degree of flow of the Ein Sof illumination -which in effect causes and makes possibly for the created entity of the Kelim of the Sefirot to exist in a mode of limitation.
This level of contraction (Tzimtzum) is more then a mere diminution or diminishment of the intensity of Divine illumination: it actually involves the removal of the light altogether.

What has been said above refers to souls of Atzilut as they still are in within Atzilut before they are vested in a body. While in that lofty world they share the characteristics of Divinity, and are not detached entities. Even after their descent into the lowly world, like the souls of the early righteous ones (Tzadikim) did not undergo a change: they did not become sundurred from Gdliness. Their essence did not change to become entities distinct from Divinity: They remain on the same level as they had been while still in the higher world of Atzilut. The angels and souls of that world are not, however actual Divinity, and as such are not able to create substantiality ex nihilo. (The ability to create ex nihilo is exclusive to Gd).

So since the Infinite Gd is the only one who creates then why do the Kelim exist? In essence the Kelim “enable” the Ein Sof (Gd) to create a finite existence (Yesh) -since Gd is Infinite, and the beings that result from it would also be limitless – if not for the Kelim. In order that this existence (Yesh), created by the infinite power of Gd, should have a limit and measure, the infinite Gd needs to be vested in the vessel because vessels are limited.

Again Side note:
Ever sometimes feel that you can’t keep up with another person. They seem so spiritual, so much more refined – so much more connected. So much more PERIOD. Learning the above can really help you better tolerate yourself. Now you know that some souls are randomly chosen (almost like a lottery) and by the “kiss” of Gd enter this word with the high pristine soul that they were gifted with. Now we can finally understand why such there are such differences between people -even between two siblings that are raised by same parents.

Try best to internalize these facts!
AND
Remember the Instruction:

NEVER EVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANOTHER AND FEEL BAD!

BUT……If you happen to catch yourself comparing yourself -get inspired by them and use the experiences as a motivational factor to help you reach new heights ONLY!!!!!!

You are trying to Reach New Heights and that is what counts!

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