Teshuva from Love – The crossroads where we do the work of submission – feeling ourselves or be in devekus with Hashem

Please review the blog post regarding Teshuva from Love before reading on for the foundations to this post.

The Baal Shem Tov teaches us that every Jew can have devekus with Hashem. Rabbi Asher Freund teaches that it is the inherent right of every Jew, regardless of their groupings, to realize what we are (a creation of Hashem made with lack in order to become a channel for His Infinite LIght concealed within our experience of being lacking) and to talk in personal hisbodidus to Hashem in order to begin the work of rising from our subconscious blocks that naturally lead us to feeling our own lives instead of being sensitive to Hashem Who is doing everything and to whom we are completely attached. King David in sefer tehillim offer us words through which we may beseech Hashem to help us offer what fills the deep inner thoughts in our subconscious to flow back to its Source, Hashem so that we may reveal His Infinite Light as compassion instead of the darkness its concealment tempts us. This focus is the topic of the tanya, written by Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, the Alter Rebbe. The Tanya is the basis of all chassidis, yet is also read amongst non_chassidim. The topic of submission is the right of every Jew to understand about our lifetime and the tremendous opportunity of delighting in Hashem that is available to us for our simple recognition of Hashem doing everything yet our having the real free will to bring Infinite Light into the world by doing mitzvahs, acts of kindness, praying, and learning Torah, for the Torah and Hashem are One.

The innermost part of our thinking, in our subconscious, is filled with a kedusha that is given into the hands of the Soton. The reason is that it is filled with an Infinite light that cannot come into this world without nullifying the appearance of a world. Thus Hashem infuses it into nature, concealing Himself, and gives a nefesh elokis to mankind designed by Hashem to extract that Infinite Light from its concealment when we submit and make blessings, learn Torah, do mitzvahs, and acts of kindness. This is our purpose for being in this world. The Vilna Gaon said that we are here to correct our character traits. Correcting our character traits MEANS to shift our focus from feeling ourselves to devekus. The Chazon Ish explains that there is only one good midda and one bad midda. The one bad midda is to go in the natural way and the one good midda is to bring out Hashem’s Will and ethics.

Thus we see from both Chassidus as well as Litvish sources the very same focus. In fact, every branch of Judaism’s best teachers teachings focus on this topic. Please see here the best of the best– a draft compilation of the teachings made by Rabbi Tzadok Cable of the top Rebbeim across the board. May this be helpful to anyone on a spiritual journey in realizing the true battle within us and may it strengthen us to do hisbodidus and see where we are receiving Infinite Light and unintentionally squirreling it into feeling ourselves, causing inadvertent pain and suffering. The pain and suffering are the result of a corrupted will, the consequence of eating from the etz hadaas. The Torah teaches us all of this is the design so that we have real free will and the power of speech to do ratzo v’shov and activate Hashem’s plan of bringing the holy sparks into the world. He is doing everything. It is for our awe and submission that we are here.

Hashem is not going to do teshuva for us because that is not how His Light comes into the world. If we do this, we bring the Moshiach before the appointed time and live in the utopia. If we fail, Hashem brings the geula but we miss that time of utopia and go straight to world to come
It is up to us.

May we be inspired instead to submit our false belief that we are in control or that our image is what matters in favor of returning the Infinite Light to the truth of Hashem is One, with love and awe in our hearts. And may we be given the moments of delighting in Hashem as we re-invest the light in mitzvahs that bring it to its revelation in this world.

Reprints of whatsapp chat explanations:

“We can learn to read our amygdela reactions differently by doing this work so that our judgments are not charged negatively and so that the Infinte light thereni flows….so no beating yourself up for being in that place..teshuva from love means we recognize there is infinite light we are being given to repackage into a mitzvah. The amygdela is our base brain. when we feel a lack or sadness, we automatically feel angry or fearful and our body reacts with a destructive act in self defense. Just watch babies and toddlers to understand….sad, mad, bad. The judgments we experience, says the Arizal, come from this intellect, however, if we try to act, we have gone too far. Instead, we turn our eyes upwards in prayer and name and describe what we see and what our natural reaction is. Then focus on the force, not the message, the force. The reason is that the message, if negative, is always false. the judgment may be true, but the negative message is false because Hashem is all loving and everything He does is good. It feels like fiery coals because oir intellect develops from the animal soil boind to the zuhamatic peojections.Thus is the proof that the message is from the Soton in charge of nature and the force is the Infinite light of the zuhama given to it with which we are tested, so that we have real free will, to inoculate ourselves through free will against the bread of shame by recognizing our Creator while we are in such a state. We are NOT blinded by the Soton. We are willing to open our subconscious and face the lack and the confusion and love Hashem and move to infuse the force iwthout that message into His Will. In so doing, that base brain becomes more and more connected to Hashem and to our heart and becomes a channel free of the negativity all together.”

“The Baal Shem Tov teaches us that if we are seeing something in another person, it is because WE have that trait. Everyone is a mirror TO US to show us what we need to fix. Thus, by realizing we want validation, the negative message of lack and the force of that reaction can now be separated – the force of wanting validation changes to Infinite LIght that can come into the world by ahavas yisrael, loving another as we love ourselves. It has only to do with bringing that light in through a Torah mitzvah. That is what Hashem wants for that Infinite light, and it doesn’t matter whether we are giving or getting that validation because we are all one. One soul. The delight in Hashem that we experience is far greater than the momentary ego pleasure. Push away the negative message BUT KEEP THE EGGS FOR OURSELVES – meaning the koach can now be the soul of a Torah, mitzvah, prayer or kindness and comes into the world through us so that the world isnot nullified. This concept should not be foreign to us…it is what we are doing when we make a bracha on food only we have the feeling first and then do the work!! But we are elevating the sparks nonetheless”

“Our will is split in two…our natural will and our will to cling to Hashem, to go above nature. When we know that Hashem is all loving, doing everything and that there is at this very moment a part of our soul that has simple faith and is experiencing the pleasure of devekus because it is above natural will, and we trust that as true, then we can be sincere in saying that it is our will to go above our nature and this is the run part of run and return. When we are sincere and trust this is true, Hashem activates our nefesh elokis so that the simple faith and pleasure banish the negative message from our hearts. what I am coming to see is that the ego is not even the “true” us – it is the zuhamatic image of us we believe is us that gives our thinking and thereby our soul into the hands of the yetzer hara. We have a truer self, a self that delights In Hashem at all times, but it is bound and gagged until we use real free will to will to go above the natural will and return to Him, ratzo vshov.”

“May I ask everyone to add a prayer when they do this that the light be for a merit, a healing, a blessing, a cancellation of gezeira, a satisfaction of din for the soul as it exists in ourselves, our families, klal yisrael and the world? In this way we are also davening for the generation.”

Sharing some steps I use in case it is helpful to anyone who may be new to hisbodudus:

Start with thank yous

Then tell Him out loud what your day is shaping up to be

Then tell Him what is in your heart about what could come up and what you are feeling

Describe any sad, angry, frightened, or destructive or painful messages that seem gripping – the despair and the ego issue, that is the cycle to spot, that is our “riptide” to darkness.

Recognize in His Presence that the force is Elokim and that you do not want the Shechina to be in such a low place. Compassion on the Shechina in exile IS what breaks us out of the riptide because we are associating with His Midda of compassion, emulating Him.

Tell Him why it is so gripping, describe every message from this place of wanting to have compassion on the force in it, rather than just thinking its thoughts and getting pulled into the dark.

Then with each, see it not as one but as a message externally with a force, a soul, that is shechina in exile. Note any lifelong patterns regarding that message, including what age it started. Confirm for yourself internally that your soul got trapped there for how many years and that now you wish for that life force to be expressed as compassion, not as animating this pattern.

Strengthen yourself with emunah and love for Hashem by remembering simple faith and pleasure, the part of our soul that is at all times connected in devekus, until you can sincerely say it is your will to go above this natural will so that the force can instead flow into a mitzvah

Admit to Him that we are totally helpless and not in control but that we want to move forward and do the mitzvah of…..the reason to name the mitzvah is because Torah, avoda, chesed ARE the will of Hashem and His Shechina is intended to be the soul of His Will, not gripping us through the inverted way Infinite light has to come into the world so that the world is not nullified. Thank Hashem for life.

Concentrate love for Hashem on the force in the message, thereby having the heart and mind draw it to Him in intention

Wait patiently for a shift

Thank Hashem and give blessings to anyone who may need it. Here is where to add and may this teshuva be a merit, a blessing, a refuah, a cancellation of gezeira ajd a satisfaction of din for the soul as it exists in myself, my family, klal yisrael and mankind

Trust that the negative message has been dissolved and move forward with the mitzvah, even if you dont know what will be with the triggering circumstance, with complete trust that whatever happens is the very best that could, that we are completely in His Loving arms”

“As we try to disarm the yetzer hara from entangling us, we accept that we are totally reliant on Hashem because it is He that is in control over everything. It is not that we are inferior by feeling lowly, but in fact, from this place of understanding our dependence on Hashem who is the master of everything, we thus are more able to see our true Gadlus. Nor does this humble awareness stop us from moving forward in our bringing goodness…Torah, Mitzvahs, and chesed..into the world. When we view everyone in the same way..whether or not they are in devekus with Hashem or falling into the arms of the yetzer hara… it is there that we can stay even closer to Hashem, Who purposely creates us with this lack, so we may recognize He is doing everything. Therefore, when we realize that it He that is doing it all we can crush the thoughts that we are more or less of than others. Our life force is here on this earth to recognize Him and bring that essence of goodness into the world no matter what service of Hashem we are engaged in. – from Miriam Yerushalmi”

“the purpose of the group…to provide a place of vulnerable sharing so that we are not afraid to see this place of helplessness and no control that we far prefer to run away from or blame others or shame oursleves or others with negative messages. Instead, we see that there is the beginning of real light coming into the world when we focus on the force itself and have the will to bring it into the world as mitzvahs.”

“TORAH helps us reject what is external but internal and instead experience the lack, have compassion on the shechina in exile that desires a relationship, and completing our avoda with a mitzvah, that connects us to the Infinite light in truth. Our effort to love Hashem and show compassion to fulfoll His Will that we have a relationship with Him and see He is doing everything is submission. What stands in our way is pride.”

The challenge is whether we go with pride or devekus. completion is only when we cling to Him.

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