The place where we despair in helplessness can be a place from where we bring willfully emunah, prayer and gratitude for life to move forward to do His Will and shine light

When Miriam passed away, the wellspring that had been providing water the entire time in the desert turned back into a regular desert stone. Rabbi Asher Freund teaches us that the well was there on the merit of Miriam and that the reason He took away the well was so that the people should miss her that they should realize she was a tzaddekis.

Chukas-the-death-of-Miriam-a-tzaddekes-and-the-loss-of-the-well-is-designed-to-bring-us-to-recognize-the-well-was-a-miracle-and-do-teshuva
Why was Miriam’s death in the same parsha as para aduma? It teaches us that just as korbonos atone, so does the death of tzaddikim. Rashi says that everyone should know what a huge tzaddekes she was and feel sorry that she left and miss her.

There was no water after she died for the community. The water was in her merit for all those years. A new generation grew up and did not understand the value of the wellspring of water given in her merit. The oldest of the generation remembered it had been a dry stone and one day it gave forth water at the words of Moshe and Aharon. But the generation that had not seen that stone at the beginning, that they were just used to drinking from that stone and did not realize the miracle of its existence, it seemed a natural spring. Miriam died and the well dried up.

Then everyone saw and recognized that it was not a natural spring but a simple plain stone. In Miriam’s zechus Hashem had created a never ending flow of water for the people. Now that the flow had ended, the people had to raise up their eyes and ask Moshe to daven for them so that the water would give its waters.

This death of Miriam atones for the people and aroused the entire people to recognize. Just because we are used to something does not mean it is natural. They were forced to lift their eyes and daven. The natural and supernatural are both from heaven and it depends on the merit. When the merit ran out, we have to daven and do teshuva to re-establish the merits.
Even though everything is a free gift, it is on the merit of the Avos. Everything we live with is because of the Avos and Imaos, their original zechus.

Just as the para aduma is an atonement, so too the death of tzaddikim. The atonement of a sacrifice is something our intellect does not grasp. It makes impure those pure and purifies the impure. This is the law of the Torah. We keep para aduma with simple faith. They both arouse us to emunah and teshuva and both of them arouse us to a function of Hashem’s hashkafa. It brings us to teshuva – that is the most essential aspect, the desire to return.

By recognizing once again that Hashem is doing everything, the people have a desire to return to a higher level of awareness of Him and to serve Him. The people come closer in order to re-establish a connection with Him and to bring Him back into the void left by her passing.

This awareness is one that can help us transverse ourselves when we fall into self-awareness so that we may return quickly to awareness of Hashem is One, that He is here with us doing everything.

In placing a soul into a body that is naturally attuned with an intellect born from the natural cause and effect and systems of the physical world, there is an inherent lack of awareness that Hashem is doing everything. From His Place of concealment, Hashem is all there is. He fills all and He surrounds all. Yet He creates a man in a place where He cannot be seen, a place of tohu and vohu, of lack, of constricted consciousness. Our natural thinking is developed so that we neurologically cannot find Hashem as we would find natural laws, such as electromagnetism, gravity and the like. Torah is needed to tell us to look further inside, to find the emunah and ahavas Hashem He has given to each of us in our nefesh elokis that He designs as a heritage from the akeidas Yitzach.

Hashem has created a world with lacks on purpose. He is perfect but He creates a world with lack and it appears as though He needs something from us so that we have the ability to recognize that lack, recognize that He is missing, that He is doing everything, and from that place tear open the firmament that conceals Him through emunah and ahavas Hashem. He creates in us this feeling of loss and emptiness that can sweep us into darkness and despair, without realizing that He is with us.

Where is He in those moments? He is the force within that emotion or thought. Everything in this world has a vessel and a soul. The vessel is the thought or emotion. The soul is the Shechina in exile, placing Himself in concealment so that we experience a lack and giving us the opportunity to recognize our Creator.

Our crying out from that place in recognition that the Shechina is in exile in that place and our having compassion upon the Shechina in exile that wants to come into this world as pure compassion IS the effort we make that rips open the firmament concealing Him. When we realize the lack, the place He has designed specifically for our nefesh elokis to then be able to effect a repair that He does, He activates us as that channel that draws down into foundational elements His Infinite Light from the vessel (whirlwind of thinking that bounces us between the despair and the self-consciousness of our thinking we are in control) that was concealing Him.

Simply by submitting to the design and moving ourselves to recognize Him and love Him and daven to Him that we submit our helplessness and will to be such a channel, His Infinite Light comes into this world.

the derech is nullification and emunah with the strength to serve and move forward
the derech but not by force – those who have suffered understand the derech more easily.

May this long galus help us latch even more strongly onto the derech HaEmes.
Nullify the self and pierce the curtain that separates us from Him and bring closer the time of redemption

May we take to heart from the tragic loss of Rabbi Bauman something we can do to draw closer to Hashem. May we feel the void that has been set before us and may we each feel through ourselves a way to free the Shechina in exile within our patterns.

Regarding the tragedy that befell Rabbi Bauman, may we feel the void created in our hearts from this tragedy and strengthen ourselves in emunah and love for Hashem despite what seems like chaos.

May we see and trust that Hashem is everywhere, doing everything.
May we recognize within ourselves some place where we can draw  awareness of Hashem more deeply into our hearts.

May our cries and yearning for a revealed world bring mercy from Hashem so that we may, indeed, be channels through which Torah, mitzvahs, and acts of chesed continue to shine light into the world and make kiddush Hashem, and may each effort be a merit for the soul of Rabbi Bauman.

May his tragic loss help us strengthen ourselves in emunah and ahavas Hashem to move forward with vigor to live Hashem’s Will.

Here is a song give us chizuk in understanding that our nefesh elokis is whole forever despite our individual struggles and lacks – may the song give us heart to strengthen ourselves in emunah and love for Hashem, with awe, that He is doing everything

Every breath is a struggle and the only focus for this child

For this child
A soul so pure
With just being here
As your avoda to do.

You are an angel
Sent to show us all
That Hashem Alone
Is the only Cause.

Your beauty and light
Shine to our lives
Through your mom’s bright
Sharing and cries.

Our mortal lives
Are not our souls
Eternity comes
From choosing our roles.

That is, within
Our circumstance
We get to choose
To cry or dance.

Your silent song
Is heard by us
Your spirit dancing
With every breath.

May knowing how
You touch our souls
Bring meaning to yours
And pleasure, to feel whole.

For whole you are
Forever it is so
No matter what
Our lifetime shows.

Our avos and our imas
Had lives we learn
Full of meaning and struggles
For which eternity they earned.

What matters most
Is to receive each day
Knowing we are
The star of a play

The main character is
the Redeemer, you see,
And we each have a spark to emit for Him to be.

The spark you contribute
From the stage you are on,
Is part of where
We are, we are all one.

So thank you dear child
For being you
And helping all of us
Emit our sparks too.

Cause from the stage you are on,
Is part of where
We are all one.

The main character is
the Redeemer, you see,
And we each have a spark to emit for Him to be.

The spark you contribute
From the stage you are on,
Is part of where
We are all one.

So thank you dear child

Thank you dear child

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