From shame to eternal life and freedom from bread of shame – why humiliation is so good for us

gaiva and yeush

The place where we attain freedom from bread of shame for all eternity is a place within us that is painful to feel, a place full of shame, a place where we see our lowliness, our lacks, and a place where we feel the impact of being seen for those lacks, and how we feel having such an exposed image. Probably everyone would want to avoid such exposure, bury it, deny it, blame others, accuse others for being so hurtful and more.

If we believe that we are, indeed, that lacking, flawed, embarrassing being that others see, the pain is tremendous and we tell ourselves horrible messages like, I am bad, I am no good and more. We feel shame. Or we live in denial and with a heart of stone.

And let’s say the lacks or our sins that others see are true. How much more so is our shame or our instinct to deny?

The pain we feel is excruciating and often it comes out as rage, fear, sadness and more.

What if we comprehend what Rav Asher and Rabbi Kessin are telling us AND we have the emunah to accept that we are NOT our flaws and our reactions to our ego image?

What if, instead, we see how that emotional pain and shame has tremendous light within it, animating messages on a plane of physicality?

How could we be true to Torah in that moment?

Rav Asher explains above. He teaches that in that moment, we may extract ourselves from the fiery coals of our emotions by having compassion upon the Shechina that has allowed itself to be drawn into that darkness in order to give us real free will.

How much courage do we need to see that despite the circumstances, regardless of how we appear in the eyes of others, even of our loved ones, that being mocked and shamed and spoken poorly of is being sent from Hashem to free us from believing and living within the despair-gaiva spiral?

There is a huge discharge when an atom is split. We have real free will to love Hashem in these shame-filled and painful moments. We may use our will to tell Hashem that it is our will to have compassion upon the Shechina in exile, that we do not want to draw the Shechina into this low and dark place. We then admit our lacks and how it feels to have them exposed. We regret our mistakes and aveiras, with a yearning instead for a pure compassion to be what we implement instead. This is our prayer. With it, we purge by describing, with love in our hearts for Hashem into His Love, all of the shame and the mistakes,the anger, the fear, and whatever else needs confessing and excreting. We cry out that naturally, by our nature, we are bonded with these sufferings and rewards, but that we do not want to want these sufferings and rewards. Instead, we want to implement Hashem’s picture. We ask that He please give us the compassion without the natural thinking to which we are bonded, which is giving us such a fiery, painful experience.

We do this with full knowledge that we are merely attempting to redeem the Shechina that is caked over our natural limbic system with coping mechanisms and habits that are an outgrowth of natural thinking based on cause and effect and education. We cannot do this by ourselves. We are not in charge of nature! However, we have the power of speech, which is formative of spiritual beings that lead us in the path that we will to go. Each word forms assistance for us to help us make better choices.

When our sincerity in effort is accepted, we experience a shift inside. Something else begins to come to our attention, and that is our nefesh elokis, the part of us that is made in Hashem’s image, the light within us that is our eternal soul that is here to shine through our garments of speech and deeds. When we make the effort here, in this world, to go towards awareness of Hashem’s light and to implement His Picture, we are making the choice with our free will that inoculates us from the bread of shame for all eternity.

Listen to a description of what we hope to do through our elul preparations for Rosh Hashana, in developing our spiritual business plan on freeing ourselves from our faulty ways, from Rav Asher.

When we make the effort to go towards the light in this world, we will not be drawn to the darkness when we have the opportunity to go to the light after leaving this world.

We are very quick to accuse, blame, shame and disgrace those who trigger our feelings of shame. It is a natural survival reaction. Yet we may be missing the greatest opportunity of being alive – to discharge the Shechina in exile within our most painful subconscious messages in favor of healing compassion to our hearts.

Sara Yehudit Shneider explains why it is necessary to undergo such a huge purging – why can’t we just receive the compassion, the light to implement His Picture? We need to create a vessel to be able to pull down new light that is configured to fill that space.


Thus we see how being willing to comprehend and implement Hashem’s picture places us in a posture to encounter the pain of shame and lack and all the impact that has on our natural thinking and image IS our opportunity to choose to go towards the light so that we indeed experience life and eternal life as part of the Creator’s compassion. Ein od milvado.

May our emunah and bitachon to do this be strong so that we are not upset with those who throw us into the dark. May we thank Hashem for showing us where the Shechina is in exile within our personal universe. May we comprehend that even if the one triggering us did so from an aveira, it is only because there is a part of our soul we are meant to acquire from the matter and that in having emunah and bitachon, the light that comes in will bring healing for all, eventually.

May our effort to do this work – of extracting ourselves from yeush and gaiva by having compassion upon the Shechina in exile and running to purge back to Him with love all that animates the thoughts and emotions we are experiencing – be a merit, a healing, a refuah, a blessing, a cancellation of gezeira and a satisfaction of din for the soul as it exists in ourselves, our families, klal yisrael and mankind.

Here is a final clip from Rav Asher where he explains that the greatness of mankind is that we are able to do good in the world. The humility of mankind is to know that it is only because Hashem’s goodness fills and surrounds us that this good is possible. And the crucial health of all is to not ever feel inferior, because we are truly a part of Hashem, each and every one of us, despite the challenges we face.


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