Hashem is doing everything. Someone said it well…that we want to live in Hashem’s picture. At least, our simple faith find living in Hashem’s picture to be the ideal simcha.
When we ate from the etz hadaas, the forces of nature that speak to the animal soul became internalized within our wanting to implement Hashem’s picture….so much so that we suffer confusion and fall into the hands of cheap but intense pleasures that attract our animal soul away from living Hashem’s picture to a picture that seems to offer a greater and more immediate pleasure. And we deceive ourselves, unwilling to withstand the force of the animal soul whose drive for pleasure is more immediate.
It is compassionate for us to understand this.
Our nefesh elokis that is our breath that is our life force and talents and emunah, comes into contact with Elokim, a hidden surrounding light that is far higher. It is Hashem’s picture that this high surrounding light that sustains our bodies and the world be brought into our hearts and into our speech and deeds in a rectified form, meaning in a way that the compassionate Infinite light hidden in Elokim can become revealed in this world without nullifying the world. It is necessary for this light to become confused within us so that we have free will. As painful as this is, there is meaning to our struggles.
Just like a warm front meets a cold front and produces thunder and lightening, so too do we find our existence – our thinking and emotions often feel like boom crash, thunder and lightening. We come to the point of view that something so strong as how we feel is who we are. This needs more inspection
Thunder and lightening are discharges. The air is what is still there after the boom and the crash. Yet when we hear thunder and lightening, we are afraid of trees falling, getting struck by the lightening, flooding and more. In a similar vein, when our nefesh elokis and Elokim come into contact in a moment of circumstance, we have reactions, thoughts and feelings. There is force there. Tremendous light is coming together and our meager mind is attempting to hold it.
Just like a toddler that puts everything into its mouth to explore it, we try to put all that light into the intellect that has a bias towards the pleasures of the animal soul from which the intellect develops in time and space. Thus, we believe that our judgments, our reactions and emotions and thoughts are who we are, and we believe messages about our survival that are in reality full of deceptions due to the eating of the etz hadaas and the confusion within our drive to implement what we know.
Yet this place of boom crash is the exact spot that Hashem puts us for the express opportunity He gives us to live in His picture, IF we are willing to expand and abstract our minds to include awareness of Hashem and that He is doing everything so that we may provide a pathway for Infinite Light to come into the world through mitzvahs, Torah learning, and chesed.
The message of boom crash and the force of the message are not one and the same thing. Our offering is the false belief that the boom crash is the ikar, the main thing that is important and in need of action.
Through recognizing our Creator and the use of real free will, we are able to ask Him to please absorb back the force in the boom crash messages (feeling mocked, shamed, feeling afraid, angry, sad…) First we find the message that is whispering to us and causing the emotion. Then realize it is force trapped there, a force that is pure compassion that is naturally bonded with that message. Recognize that force, pure compassion, as Elokim, Hashem’s Infinite light in exile in a falsehood. We are not able ourselves to move that compassion from that place. However, with love in our heart and with will, we ask Hashem to please absorb back that compassion and bring it to our heart without that message so that we may utilize the force in a way that brings Torah, prayer, mitzvahs and chesed into the world. In so doing, we re-garment from an unrectified state to a rectified state the light and repair the four foundations of earth wind water and air as they exist in our very beings.
Hashem then fulfills His picture of us as a pathway for the Infinite light to come into the world. We are able to do much good in this world with His Goodness. Yet, if we forget that boom crash is but a discharge, we become confused about who is doing the good.
Over the last fifty years, the me generation has strengthened us in consciousness and sensitivity to feeling ourselves. While this may help us be more compassionate to others by understanding deeply how we are made, if we slip into forgetting Who is doing everything, we may have many more boom crash moments.
Feeling the pain and suffering of others helps us to provide support and comfort when their noise is loud. So many tragedies, losses, illnesses, suffering and despair are in the world. How can we bring all of that force into the world so that its compassion and not the boom crash is revealed?
Recognize our Creator. He is doing everything. We want everything we feel to be absorbed into the simple pleasure of realizing He is One and we are a part of His Picture. So much is in the way. Moving ourselves towards emunah in times of pain and anger and despair brings us into His Picture, and that ultimately, just like with Job, brings a way out of the boom crash over time.
Our constant offering is our shift from the discharge of boom crash thinking to the force being unified with love and awe to He is One, nurturing awareness of His Picture and implementing our drive to be in His Picture.
May our effort to do so be a merit, a healing, a teshuva, a blessing, a cancellation of gezeiras, and a satisfaction of din for the soul as it exists in ourselves, our families, klal yisrael and mankind, so that His Picture may be revealed to all.