Parshas Balak from Rabbi Asher Freund

Parshas Balak – Pride is our downfall
Parshas Balak – Rav Asher Freund
“The pride of the person will lower him”
Ultimately Bilaam was a great person
he was blessed with elevated prophetic powers
he wanted to curse H’s people
He calls H’ “H’ Elokai”
He had a personal relationship with H’

how did he go from such greatness to such lowness?
Why would he try to do what H’ hated.
His pride was his downfall.
He said, “The thing that H’ will put into my mount, I will say…”
was an expression of anochius / gaiva
Bilaam identified so much with his “I” / ego / anochius
His real intension was “I will speak”
next to the the awareness it was with the permission of H’
with great cynicism he states “How can I cause something H’ has cursed?”
His gaiva goes out of all boundries
He pretends as if he’s actually on the highest level of H’
Even when he lowers himself (one-eyed person) reveals his limitations
he returns to his prideful declarations
the one who knows the opinion of the One above Daas Elyon
The Tdadik Rav Shalom Ber of Lubavitch writes
someone who learns Torah and davens with pure intention
He knows and is attached
Until he comes to a level where his soul rules his body
if he would then fall into gaiva
it would bring him down and lower him
until it would destroy and lose every good aspect he has acquired to this point
a person can rise himself up
ONLY when lowers him self and he mevatel’s himself
and then H’ will lift him up and raise himand the Shechina will dwell within him
all of the learning and mitzvahs a person does, if its done with gaiva
he will fall
the only way to maintain the work we have done is when a person lowers him self – mevatel to H’, to Talmudei chachamim, Daas Torah
we need to mevatel our self (as opposed to Bilaam who thought he was big)
H’ speaking through you
meaning you are making your self
an empty vessel who is nothing
just receiving the light of HKB”H

As I listened to the message above, I felt it coincided with the place within me that makes a judgment and then takes the matter into my own hand. Over the years, I have spent great effort to not rush to action. This blog has been about my journey and this year, specifically, about my goal of regulating my emotions based on Torah and back to avodas Hashem. For this reason, as I listened, I realized once again how natural this thinking is. What, then, is something that can begin to balance such a natural ingrained thought pattern?

This week, Rabbi Genuth spoke more about the surrounding light, all that Hashem is doing “behind the scenes” so that I may receive one second of life. I began to take this very seriously.. What had to happen for me to have this cup of coffee in my hand? All the work for the beans, all the handling, the marketing, the people, the maintenance of those people – Hashem delivered to me a delicious cup of coffee.

What about that salmon in the oven? The ocean, the smaller fish the salmon ate, the fisherman, the boat, the storage, the marketing, the people involved….all so that I can take it out of the oven and make a blessing.

I am beginning to realize that as huge as it is to have a nefesh elokis and a body, there is a far greater spiritual involvement that is coming to me, for which I have immense gratitude.

Before I rush to judgment or pride myself for even being able to type one word, I am realizing how much gratitude is appropriate and that, indeed, He is doing everything.

Thank you Hashem and may my effort to bring all that flows through me to mitzvahs be a teshuva, a merit, a healing, a cancellation of gezeira, a satisfaction of din and a blessing for the soul as it exists within myself, my family, klal yisrael and mankind, and may we awaken to see Your Light and Goodness in every moment and only do what is good according to Torah.

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