More on run and return

If a person has employment as a scuba diver to collect shells for sale, every morning, the person awakens, dons the proper gear and enters the waters. The reality of the gear do not confuse the scuba diver, who understands what the gear is for, to protect the body and stay alive so that the person can collect the shells.

Who is the person? Is the person the gear?

Likewise, we awaken every day, not with gear, but with thoughts and emotions. It is our “employment” to bring the sparks of tohu – the broken shards of Infinite Light – through our hearts to return to the Source of Compassion. Where are these sparks to be found? These sparks are what animates our thoughts and emotions.

We have a natural set of messages in which these sparks are found. These natural messages are generated from the zuhama, the projection of tohu that was injected within us when we ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The sparks are the kedusha Hashem surrounds all of nature – the surrounding light that sustains all, regardless of whether what is sustained recognizes its Creator.

Hashem gives us real free will. When we experience a thought or emotion naturally, we are free to believe the message the spark comes with naturally. OR, we can take a moment and recognize the Creator!

Hashem creates us to have a relationship with Him. Recognizing our Creator is the beginning of our awareness of the relationship. Talking to Hashem is an active step that shows we have emunah and that we trust in Him as the Creator.

When we are in a painful emotional moment, and we are struck with ill judgments and hurtful messages, we are in thoughts and emotions that are rich with sparks for us to collect and bring back to their Source.

Recognize that the Creator has allowed Himself to be in such a constricted place in order for us to have this relationship with Him of bringing the sparks back to their original state of compassion.

As soon as we recognize our Creator, Elokim, and actively open our hearts in prayer describing what this feels like and telling Him that we want to not want the natural messages, that we just want to bring His Compassion into the world through Torah and mitzvahs, the “soul” of the painful thoughts and emotions leaves behind the messages and we break out of the natural thinking.

What we have done by having compassion on the Shechina that agrees to be in exile in nature, Elokim, in order to give us real free will is that we have emulated Hashem’s compassion. What this emulation of His compassion does is enhance our awareness of Him, of Torah, and it engenders our love and awe for Hashem as well as for His Will in creating us and the world.

Our drive to implement a compassionate act or mitzvah has become more natural, more a part of our heart, and we become a channel for that compassion to enter the world.

The spark that was covered with a painful message is now a spark that is enlivening a mitzvah or a chesed, due to our use of real free will and our love and awe of Hashem. When we recognize that Hashem is doing everything, that active recognition “runs” the spark to His Compassion and nurtures our awareness of Hashem in our lives. Our drive to implement this greater awareness of Hashem and His Love reaches through our hearts and actions into the places His Love in this world needs to reach -into the darkness, bringing light.

It is okay to know that our hearts will heal.

But in truth, being with Hashem in bringing His Compassion into this world is delighting in Hashem as He intends. Acts of kindness are our opportunity to recognize and feel how we are a part of His Compassion.

Hashem is doing everything and yet He gives us the real free will to recognize that or not. The benefit to recognizing it means that we are bringing sparks from the thoughts and emotions that are natural from that exile back to a place where that compassion may be brought into this world through Torah and mitzvahs.

Run and return.

It is up to us.

Ratz vShav רץ ושב

  1. FEEL THE FIRE. The human condition that we find ourselves in over and over again, of feeling our anochius strongly and being reactive, is the place Hashem sends us so that we have the opportunity to use real free will. We know it as our reptilian brain, our amygdyla. That neuropathway is capable of becoming cleaned off of anochius reactions so that it experiences the nefesh elokis as natural and the body responds.
  2. RECOGNIZE THE NEGATIVITY. When we are in such a state of reactivity, we find ourselves in judgments and hurtful messages that are destructive or self destructive. This is an experience of Elokim, Hashem is concealed.
  3. RUN. Instead of enclothing such reactions and bringing them into speech and deeds, we run instead to Shivisi Hashem lneged tamid AND my sin “my tendency towards feeling my anochi” is before me always. Teshuva is needed. It is important to see how the nefesh behema is interested in its pleasures and cannot fathom the pleasure that might somehow come to it from Hashem.
  4. CONNECT TO HKB”H. By having compassion on the Shechina in exile, by going to shifless, lowliness, malchus, we re-establish connection to H-shem is One and all loving by being compassionate on the kedusha in the reaction.
  5. ASK FOR THE SHIFT TO COMPASSION.Now we can shift our weight from the anochi reaction to our effort to go above our natural urges and impulses, We confess our natural state. We tell Hashem that we want to go above that natural will because we want to enclothe the kedusha in Torah mitzvahs and compassion. We ask for that gift, that shift of light, to be given to us. and we wait.
  6. ACTUALIZE RACHAMIM. Once we feel the shift, we may now act, respond with rachamim. Those mitzvahs, learning, acts of compassion, have the kedusha from the place where they came to us. Our anochi, and it is re-garmented.

From Rabbi Labinsky

Tzur me Ra > Ase Tov
Adapted from Chabura with Rabbi Yaakov Labinsky

Nefesh behamis > Nefesh Elokis
when they’re in conflict
Wheres the tension point?
Feel the tension point
Recognize the growth point
Engage in Tzur me ra

Then
Bakesh Shalom

Tzur me ra > Ase Tov
Recognize the Rachamim
from your Keter

The expeience comes together
without boundries
all all times
There’s no experience
that doesn’t have it

Shalom is hiskallelus
the bracha is sheleimus

Tzur me ra
Feel the tension
see the nefesh Elokis
Perceive conflict
and the positive connection of conflict

Conflict
is the fertile place
that your divine identity
is being born!!!!!

If there’s no hisorerus
theres no return

Rav Dessler:
Ask “What should i want”?
then wage the war
and make the choice
that choice is the hisorerus

What do you do with the new capacity?
Begin to unify/ Hiskarevus
“My soul is bound with HKB”H
I am not separate anymore.

Be silent.
Hear your own voice
The thankfulness
Your soul is connecting with HKB”H

Shleimus
Everything kiskallel
with each other
The ultimate clarity
all the brachos are culminating there

EVERYTHING IS RATZ V SHAV
Ultimate closeness
Is the key to understanding

The midrange
Of Ratz VShav
is “Shevisi…”
Histavus/ equanimity
It’s all H’
TIFERES / Harmony
Holding both at once

Always look
for the middle ground
Accept the highs & lows

Being in the middle
Hitbodedus / Hitbonenus

Observe the shift
with amazement
Feel the gratitude to HKB”H
For the Aliya

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