Imagine yourself being lifted by a cloud the cloud uplifts you.
You begin to feel yourself moving upward. As you ascend, you begin to feel yourself feeling lighter and lighter.
A wave of relaxation penetrates your very being This cloud is going to take you to a place where you have been before. As you journey through the heavens above you sense excitement in the air. You hear a voice and it is telling you to prepare yourself for the giving of the Torah.
These are the last minutes before the work of preparation ends. Take the time as you come in, closer to your destination, to do a cheshbon hanefesh so that you reach that ultimate spiritual state to receive the Torah. The cheshbon hanefesh is not daunting. It is really an accounting of your soul to help purify it, to get ready to receive the Torah.
You see Har Sinai at a distance, and your excitement grows. You see the thunder and the lightning. and you hear the sound of the shofar. You sense the total peace and perfection of the world. You see the engravings on the stones. Cheirut are the letters you see. Cheirut meaning freedom but also engraved and you remember how free the Torah can make you feel when it is engraved in your mind and in your heart.
Everything right now is at a standstill. And you begin to hear the first commandment.
Anochi Hashem Elokecha!
Then the second commandment.
Lo echam elokim hachairim.
I am the Lord your G-d.
You shall not have another G-d.
You feel the power of Hashem’s voice penetrating you. You have now the time to meditate on Hashem is One, there is No Other G-d besides Him.
You begin to understand that the Torah is a gift given to you by Hashem and it is the most precious gift you can ever get.
Watch the Torah descend into your own hands. You have the whole Torah. Feel that oneness with the Torah as you feel one with Hashem, as you grasp the Torah you are grasping Hashem. Right now, you are re-establishing that connection. Take the time and think of any mitzvah, one you want to add to your life, one you want to blee neder do with extra glorification, with hidder. Make a commitment to take the time in your day to study the halachas of mitzvahs. the laws of the mitzvahs so you can comprehend the Torah more fully.
As you do you see a light shining down upon you. This light begins to surround you.
This is the Ohr Makif. And then sense that as it begins to enter your very soul, you feel a calmness.
You sense now the indwelling of this light and you feel it nourishing your soul. The highest and the best quality food for the soul. this is the ohr penimi the inner light Feel this ohr penimi, this internal light giving you that extra strength to fight against all the ruach shtuss, all the spirit of folly. This extra strength helps you also combat the yetzer hara. This light of Torah helps you withstand the tests of the moment. It helps you have greater power to follow the righteous ways of your G-dly soul.
Now see yourself so easily occupying yourself with the study of Torah. When you study Torah, you can call out to your Father. Father Father come near to me. The Father of Heaven and you feel closer and as you feel this closeness, it arouses in you a greater inspiration to continuously connect to Hashem with Torah
Now this connection is at an even deeper level. It is so powerful. It enables you to focus. To focus your attention on getting the strength from Hashem to help refine your nefesh habehemis, which this is the reason you are here on earth, your animal soul’s refinement.
Ponder the nature of your soul in order to know what area requires your main efforts. What are you weak in, where are your efforts needed the most. are you quick to anger, lustful or are you sluggish?
Now find ways to (in a loving and accepting and compassionate way to) wage war against this animal soul because now you have gained the power of this inner light through your study of Torah, Now you have the strength to conquer (its natural messages using real free will) and rid yourself of the garments of your animal soul( that hijack its ability to move in this world for Hashem’s Torah).
You realize your nefesh habehemis is not essentially evil. It’s root is in the supernal angels that serve Hashem with love and awe and you realize that your animal soul can yearn for spiritual matters instead of worldly things.
It is yearning. It is beginning to yearn for the G-dly.
This is your mission. This is your service.(And it will bring the pleasure the animal soul craves – an even greater pleasure, the pleasure for which we are created to experience.) To see that the time you take to study Torah helps you in so many crucial ways.(to help the animal soul submit.) The more you study the more you know what to do. The more you study, the more power is given to you to know what to do.
You are one with Hashem. You are grasping Hashem when you study Torah. He the Almighty G-d is embracing you and you are embracing Him through Torah. Feel that deep everlasting unity with HaKodesh Baruch Hu and don’t let go. Plead with your neshama, don’t let go of the Torah.
You now sense total peace and shelamos, total completion and you continually see this magnifying light surrounding you and penetrating you. As you do so, you see the cloud is beginning to approach you.
It is waiting to take you back down.
As you are about to descend with the cloud, you descend holding the Torah with you. And the radiating G-dly light is still surrounding you and is still internally with you. You begin to feel your physical body. You sense a readiness of your body to pursue spiritual matters. Every part of you yearns to do Hashem’s will. Feel and sense the hands that want to do G-d’s will. Sense your feet that will take you on your mission to do good.
Sense all your facial muscles, your lips that will move for frequently in your prayers, the lips that will more willingly spread the wellsprings of Torah, the lips that will smile more lovingly at others. Feel the sense in your head, the head that contains the brain that will motivate you to study Torah and reveal it to others. Finally sense your eyes, the eyes that will be shining with the ohr Makif and the Ohr Penimi because the lights of your Torah is surrounding you and the light of your Torah is inward within you.
When you open your eyes, you really see the good.
BACKGROUND TO THIS MEDITATION
Clear the way for the light
You see chassidus and our Rebbe of this generation has told us that all the work has been done, the polishing of the buttons metaphor of a soldier’s outfit that needs to get polished up before he meets the King, and this sometimes has been really confusing in this generation because it seems like okay we did all the work and now we can just wait, and not even dare to think that we have yet more to polish within ourselves,which leads to a bit of confusion for some.
And even if it is not so confusing to others, of course they may think, yes I would not be so angry with my child, or I could respect my husband more or daven with better kavannah or whatever it is they are trying to polish up in their life, the urgency of the moment may be diminished because this concept of all the work has been done and now we just have to mekabel pinei Moshiach, that it is the work we need to do.
What does it mean to be mekable pnei Moshiach?
It is working on changing our mindset to not be so limited in our perspectives – in any second He can literally come But when you take a deeper look at that, it is really getting ourselves ready for that day – any minute that Moshiach should come – meaning doing the inner work to banish the darkness by really shining in more light, (releasing the kedusha from within the grip of our animal soul and having the animal soul submit to being a channel for that kedusha to be returned to it’ Source – the animal soul agreeing to regarment the purified kedusha).
But most people don’t really know how to bring that G-dly light inwardly to affect a change in their middos(from its natural concealment within the animal soul to its revealed expression as compassion.). This is really a critical point that is missing in a lot of places, in yeshivos, in elementary schools – how to get that inner light to be able to dissipate the darkness (the messages that the kedusha is animating is NOT the kedusha itself…the messages can dissolve).
The Rebbe Rashab clearly points it out, you can learn all the chassidus and daven and have a good kavanna in everything but still be crass, arrogant and angry. The Rebbe Rashab points out that it is the hisboninus in davening that draws in the light of the Torah to be able to then affect a change in the innards of our middot. This is a critical factor that is literally a remedy for the ailing challenged souls of today, whether it is self-flagellation, or self-hatred, or guilt feelings for not being so good and then ending up like trying to battle the challenges within by escaping into the pleasures of the world because as the alter Rebbe says in tanya, that is a byproduct of not being able to cope with our failures and our weaknesses (we cope by realizing that we are the love concealed within the false messages and that we may use real free will to draw that love from the grip of the natural messages.) Not coping with our failures and escaping to addictions gives more power to them (the false messages concealing the love in our soul) in our soul because we just gave into it, because the animal soul is tricked by the yetzer hara ( with “rewards” such as you are right, you deserve better, you must control this situation, etc).
The yetzer hara wants us to be sinful not because of the sin but because he knows that this will lead us towards indulgences to escape the war within (over where our kedusha will flow…to darkness or to light. Obviously the yetzer hara wants the kedusha for sustaining the kelipot. Yet Torah gives us the awareness that our nefesh elokis is designed to repair the very matter at hand. The kedusha embedded within our urges and impulses contains the light Hashem may use to heal the matter. Our attraction to the messages of our animal soul are because it is older than our nefesh elokis and houses the feelings of the loving home in which we were raised, no matter how distorted that may be. The familiarity and the sense of love embedded within our understanding IS our nefesh elokis clinging to the messages that are in need of dissolving off it so that the kedusha concealed may bring the refuah. Comprehending that by shooting for our higher will – that knows at all times that Hashem is doing everything, is surrounding and filling all the worlds, loves us and is right here right now – gives us a way to experience the moment in an expanded way from where our animal soul may then submit to being a channel across which the spark may flow upwards, should Hashem find our hearts sincere in wanting to release the spark. We want to not want the messages we naturally feel. That is our prayer.)
The wholesome and most wholesome cognitive behavioral Tanya therapies look at all the avenues by which we can clear the way to allow this inner light to come into this world. If you learn and pray but are totally indulging in a very crass way, it can block the way of being inward. we need to look at all the aspects to really free the person and have that final geula within so that we can mekabel Moshiach.
Some people are so over-burnt from facing their darkness that they don’t have the strength any more to deal with it so they use this kind of mindset of “the work is already been done, All I have to do is get ready to mekabel Moshiach” and they don’t invest the time to really heal their middos. (The healing is the return of the kedusha to Hashem. Without the submission of the animal soul, our nefesh elokis continues to be concealed and feeding the darkness, may we soon realize this and feel empowered to hold steady as we make the shift.)
That is why there are so many challenges in our youth because of this real big dilemma. There are so many challenges in relationships and such high divorce rates. There are so many addictions and escapism Because the work is so seemingly daunting to them but it really isn’t.
It really is near and it is really all the tanya, clear and specific, very easy to do.
It is not like we have to go to the moon and back to find the real self. It is all within us. It is taking the steps to get rid of the blockages and barriers by doing avodas Hashem the way chassidus meant us to do.
Of course everything our Rebbe teaches us is to be taken literally and yes all the work has been done. We have polished even the buttons. But this was meant for the global work of the Jewish people since time immemorial. We have done, as a collective soul, as the collective group, our job to bring Moshiach.
The time is now.
This can be a little confusing for some and for some even though it may not be confusing it is still confusing of how to do that inner work to be ready for the Moshiach (to continue to release the holy sparks with that as the goal continues until Moshiach is revealed.)
CBTT, Cognitive Behavioral Torah Therapy, aims to help people deal with their various issues by releasing the neshamah, the soul powers, that reside within every Jew. CBTT includes our neshamah in the healing process and in the quest for happiness. Through the neshamah, one has infinite capacity for health, growth, prosperity, and success in every area.
CBTT is based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but with the addition of Torah perspective and wisdom. To help someone, for example, overcome a fear of dogs, a CBT practitioner would assist the person to use guided imagery to imagine themselves staying calm in the presence of a dog; would take them to visit a dog; would try to uncover the basis of their fear. A CBTT practitioner would use all those tactics, but would also teach the person how to channel their faculty of imagination in a positive way and channel their animalistic tendency of fear into the positive energy of awe and wonderment, through prayer, meditation, and other spiritual practices. This is a torah based brain training from the teachings of the deepest parts of chassid is to help person reach their personal Geula !
The Alter Rebbe, the Baal HaTanya (author of the book of Tanya), as well as successive Rebbes, additionally taught that it is important to meditate on Hashem’s greatness every day. When we daven (pray), it is necessary for us to bond with Hashem, our Creator. Although this appears to demand a lot of introspection and work, it has been proven that those who follow in this path by learning and then meditating during tefillah (prayer), do connect to Hashem and thereby receive infinite power to deal with, and heal from, all the issues that are getting in the way of our personal Geula which will lead to our inner peace and happiness.