Every day we have struggles, challenges, goals, obstacles, interactions, surprising events, and more. It is quite obvious that we are not in control of what is.
Hashem is the One before there was time, while there is time, and after time ends. He is in control, total control, every second.
In fact, the future becomes the past second before we can do anything with it. We are merely passing through time, experiencing perceptions from this world.
What is it for?
Hashem has created a meeting place for a soul that is hewn from His Throne of Honor and a body made from the material elements of this world, earth wind water and fire, solid, gas, liquid and radioactive material. The soul is a pure soul that is impossible to damage and it has come to this world to repair something. It meets up with the four foundations of the world, earth wind water and fire, by being in a physical body. Yet, Hashem is the Creator. We are the creations. He alone thinks up every circumstance, thought, emotion and object. His Love encompasses what He thinks and it comes into being in this world. There is nothing in this world that is not a thought of Hashem, a creation of His Lovingkindness. When Moshe Rebbeinu saw how Rabbi Akiva’s flesh was eaten by dogs, he asks, “This is the reward for Torah?” and Hashem replies, “This is how I thought it up. “
Thus, no matter what is happening, we are assured that Hashem alone has Created it and despite our limited understanding, there is an opportunity for our soul to be involved in a repair of the four elements. We do not know with our limited intellect how to do the repair. The repair is actually Hashem’s doing from within our soul, just as our liver, our pancreas, our kidneys and lungs function without our intentional acts.
What, then, is up to us?
Recognition that Hashem has thought this up and is giving us opportunity to connect the soul to His Love is the first step, relationship.
The intensity of our feelings contain kedusha, tremendous light. This light may be presenting itself through hurtful messages. The kedusha and the messages are not one and the same. The kedusha is always Hashem’s compassion. It is covered with messages that are hurtful when we attempt to direct that kedusha towards a self-image goal. It is crucial to understand how natural it is to do so. And, it is just as crucial to know that the natural thinking is under the influence! Under the influence of nature means that it is given to the natural forces in which Hashem is hidden. The influence is not the force, although it has kedusha given to it by Hashem in order that we have real free will.
Thus, we recognize Hashem has thought it up and that there is kedusha that is concealed within the messages.
We experience the natural feelings but have the Torah to tell us that we do not have to depend on these feelings for our speech and deeds. Rather, we can recognize the potential in the kedusha and pray to Hashem that the kedusha be reunified through our love and awe of Hashem with Torah and compassion. Our will is that the kedusha NOT flow into the world in the way of nature that further conceals Hashem’s love. Rather our will is to be a channel for the compassion in the kedusha to flow into the four elements and repair them. We of course do not know how to repair earth wind water and fire. But our soul does. Our soul is like a spiritual kidney. Hashem has designed it. our role is ratzon, will.
How can we will to nullify what we naturally feel? The body also knows that when the elements are rectified, the body will play the part of enclothing into speech and deeds the purified kedusha. The body submits because it trusts that serving Hashem is its finest mission.
Too often we are flattened by our pain and do not see how we may redeem ourselves from it. It is helpful to comprehend that the intensity and the message are NOT ONE. The intensity is the kedusha. The message that attaches are natural. We can will to attach to Torah and compassion instead, to bring that kedusha into the world through learning, prayer, mitzvahs and kindness. And we can trust that it will be good, no matter what. Why? When we make our will Hashem’s will, He then blocks the natural interference to our will. Remembering that Hashem is doing everything is a joyous way to live. We are never the ones in control, despite the natural way Hashem gives us real free will. And our happiness does not depend on our achieving self-image goals. In fact, these add layers of concealment to finding our way to fulfill the repair we are sent here to complete.
Hashem is doing everything. He is giving us opportunity to recognize Him and see the kedusha in everything in potential and to daven to Him that the potential compassion come to fruition. Every moment is a moment of gratitude for this opportunity of life, to relate in this way with the moment as it passes. In so doing, we build for ourselves an eternal identity as one who remembers Hashem despite His being concealed. This connection that we build with Hashem, seeking Him in every moment, is for all eternity the source of our salvation.