The most natural instinct in children is attachment to the mother, to the parents. So much can go wrong there. The positive resolution of separation anxiety becomes the basis of a person’s mental health for life.
So much takes place in our formative years. The history of the Jewish people has been traumatic – expulsions, pogroms, extermination, senseless hatred and more. Everyone is affected in the primal place we all share, that place of needing love, safety, security and attachment.
The messages that come to us when we are not experiencing love, safety, security and attachment are full of light that brings to our consciousness whatever history we have regarding these fundamental natural urges and impulses. A small child cannot understand that there is any other Being to attach to or how that would help and thus, all types of coping mechanisms and fears take root in the natural will.
There is no one alive who does not understand this. We all are amazed at how we might feel rejected, burnt out, intimidated, abused, insulted, neglected and more by inadvertent slights and even intentional challenging experiences like we find in shidduchim, employment and more.
The circumstances are rich with opportunity for us to…..REDEEM the kedusha from the painful messages. In order to do so, it is important that we realize that the REDEEMING is the reason that the circumstances took place. It is our opportunity to re-unify kedusha trapped in the dark to its Source.
Oh if only we could truly come to see that Hashem is doing everything JUST to give us a swing at the bat of real free will to be that channel across which Infinite light might flow into the world! This is our primary purpose, yet, does anyone tell us?
Not only that, we have so many rationalizations about what we need to not look like a shmata or be taken advantage of, we are ready to take on the circumstances at whatever cost in spiritual damage rather than build the emunah and bitachon to be a channel.
Responding with emunah and bitachon is NOT a cop out! Such shaming language reflects attraction to the payoffs the Soton gives – being right, looking powerful, seeming in control – rather than building eternal life. Emunah and bitachon do NOT mean that no further action is taken. It means that whatever action taken will be compassionate and it recognizes that Hashem is the Only Power and He does everything else. We choose and trust. This is strength. Hashem is 1. We are zero. If we think we are 1 then we are making Hashem zero chas vshalom. When we see Hashem is 1, and we only an integrated part of that 1 and therefore a zero, do you see how being a zero is infinitely greater than being 1?
My journey has taken me to the deep places of having to empty the messages fueled by the kedusha of the Shechina in exile. These reactive emotions were embedded in my lymbic system. Determined use of real free will with emunah and trust in Hashem has helped me recognize the difference between the force – the kedusha given into the hand of the Soton with which it spins illusions based on my early years – and the messages themselves. By recognizing that I am having an experience of the Shechina in exile, with total emunah and bitachon, I embrace the reaction with love and awe and will to be the channel for the hidden light to flow into this world. Each time I do, I ask that it be a merit, a healing, a forgiveness, a blessing, a cancellation of gezeiras, a satisfaction of din for the soul as it exists in myself, my family and klal yisrael. We are one soul, One with Hashem, and one with Torah.
All the shaming, blaming, leitzonos, rationalizations, intimidations and the like are of no interest other than for the kedusha to be redeemed from their nasty messages. The force and the message are NOT one. The force is trapped in the kelipa. Recognize the Creator with love and awe and see what happens. What do we have to lose? Nothing. and what do we stand to gain? Redemption.