In Miriam Yerushalmi’s book on prayer and meditation, she describes the vessel of our lower will in a way that helps us understand our pain. The pain we feel is concealed light. What is happening is that our lower natural thinking is unable to hold all of the light. For example, if we have a crystal glass and we are sipping wine, the glass is well suited for it. But if we take that crystal glass and attempt to capture water from Niagra falls, very likely the crystal glass will shatter from the pressure of the water. This is our subjective, self-oriented natural existence.
Powerful light is flowing to our brains at every moment. If we are experiencing pain, it is because the vessel it is being received into needs to expand or change.
Let’s be specific. Hashem sends us a challenge and it triggers pain within us. We feel all of our alarms going off. We feel fiery anger or fear and immediately we are ready to place blame or shame on the source for being triggered. We may have to first contemplate deeply and analyze who is responsible, do some footwork to find the culprit. But once we find the person, it is all judgment and painful interactions to restore what we feel we rightfully lost. Sound familiar?
This description is the natural way that we are bound to the animal soul. We are glued to these responses neurologically because we ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil that made our awareness of ourselves the primary awareness and awareness of Hashem very submerged.
The name of the glue that keeps our neurology focused on ourselves is the zuhama injected by the snake that formed two kelipos, gaiva and taiva. These shells are filled with very high light. However the vessel of our natural neurology is unable to contain that high light in a revealed way without expanding to bring more awareness of Hashem into the picture ina way that our natural existence will submit to.
So here is an incentive to submit.
What if we knew with 100 Percent certainty that the strength of that zuhama that binds us to gaiva and taiva could be formed into a channel that would bring us great simcha? Would we be open to exploring that option?
There was a great man, Rabbi Asher Freund. He passed away in 2004. One of his followers came to him and Rabbi Freund asked him how he is. The man answered Baruch Hashem Hashem is helping me. Rav Freund looked at the man and said, Hashem is not helping me. The man, aghast, could not believe Rav Asher would say Hashem is not helping him. So he asked, Rav Freund, Hashem is not helping the Rav? Rabbi Freund answered. No. Hashem is not helping me. He is doing everything.
This is the proof. We believe that when we have a challenge, it is up to us to take some action to correct the matter. The action we need to take is to direct the strength of that false belief from everything we are experiencing and ask Hashem to please use that same glue to help us to reveal His Torah and to do mitzvahs and acts of kindness. Hashem please help us guard our soul from such negativity as to think we do anything! Once we start flowing all of the Shechina in exile in the hashgacha pratis of our lives into a request to be able to flow Torah, avoda and gemilas chesed into the world, Hashem answers. We are able to have an expanded vessel, no longer bounded by the daas of the kelipa but one that has expanded to awareness of Hashem and an increase in gratitude for our lives for having the opportunity to redeem the Shechina in exile from the animalistic urges and reactions.
As a person grows in this endeavor, the challenges that present themselves provide concealed light that easily flows through this new vessel and we are zocheh to experience that flow and to place a blessing and intention upon it from our truest selves, our spiritual consciousness, that spiritualizes physicality. Hashem uses our submission and allows us now to be the vessel through which a flow of His Goodness comes into the world. We are not doing it. He is doing it because we submit, we did teshuva, and we brought that Shechiina in exile in teshuva back to its Source to through our free willed choice and request. It is ours to enjoy in this lifetime and forever.
So please, if these words touch you, please consider a new plan of action when trembling with alerts, enraged, frightened, coiled and ready to strike. Redeem the shechina in exile from what glues us to these neurological responses by saying I am aware that this strength is You Hashem, there is No Other Power and I love You and I wish for this strength to please glue me to being a vessel to reveal Your Torah and kindness. Please help me.
Please take these words to heart. Please understand how a spiritual being in a body with an animalistic instinct is capable of willing for this to take place. Please understand that this is the integrated expression of the first three commandments. I am Hashem Who took you out of Egypt to be unto you a G-d. There is no other G-d do not worship idols. Do not desecrate my Name .
All there is in the world is Hashem. He is One and we are part of that. If we believe the doubts that the daas of the kelipa that comes from zuhama – the yetzer hara and Amalek – we think because of self-referencing that we are 1 and that, heaven forbid, means Hashem is zero. There is NO OTHER POWER. Find Him in that power!!!!! And release it with awareness and love and awe. Ask Hashem to please re-invest ithrough our intention to do the mitzvah of guarding our soul from negativity. Hashem does the rest.