From where shall we draw our strength?
We all need to draw resources. Food, shelter, clothes, transportation and more are among our basic needs.
Our inner world therefore is in need of connection because we are not equipped to supply ourselves with all our own needs.
The real question then becomes, what is the connection that we pursue?
Do we rely on societies, civilization and other people? Or is there something more secure to connect to? Or is there something more secure to connect to that permits us to inter-include within societies and civilization in a more ideal manner?
We are told to view life as if the whole world is created just for us. At the same time, we are told to view life as that we are ashes and dust. What is the way to view life?
We have opportunity while alive to use real free will.
Where shall we build our life, upon what beliefs?
The beauty of knowing that Hashem fills as the worlds is that we know and trust that He is our very best friend, always there, reliable, loving, patient, unlimited, kind. He is maintaining everything – sun, vegetation, animals, minerals, bodily function, thoughts and emotions. He is moving everything, revolving, rotating, beating of the heart, weather, oceans. There is No Other Power.
,This is very helpful information when we are experiencing inner turmoil. Where do we turn? To our coping mechanisms and defensive reactions that put distance between people in order to survive? Or do we have the self-control and love and awe to turn towards the darkness and recognize that Shechina is in exile, animating the turmoil, awaiting our recognition, love and prayerful requests so that it may thereby, through our spiritual being, be unified with Hashem? Something of It’s Infinity may come into this world through our hearts.
In order for us to do this, our honor must be to understand that the only honor in the world is Hashem’s. We nullify our first responses that point to self-referencing goals.
When we are willing to serve as a channel, we actually experience something we are intended to experience, that only with life can we experience.
We realize He is doing all actions. We have awe. We have gratitude.
We totally submit and appreciate the opportunity of life to serve Him.
To do so, we have to be willing to sort through fiery coals of coping mechanisms, fears, anger, false pride, defensiveness and more.
Imagine if someone were making a challah dough and found that their diamond fell of and is lost in the dough. The dough no longer is dough. It is an obstacle to finding that diamond. We would dig through the dough, pressing, squeezing, separating, to find the valuable gem.
In our coping mechanisms, fears, anger, pain, and false honor is a gem. It is the Shechina in exile in our “dough,” our imagination. Through love and awe and with emunah, free will, and personal prayer, we are given the tools to unify our soul with something from Infinity that brings light into the world. We are able to discover the pristine essence of our spiritual being concealed by our body, a spiritual being that constantly knows there is Hashem. loves Him, and desires to be unified with His Throne of Honor but is constrained by being in a constricted place called a body.
The more we circumcize our hearts, the more our body becomes a vessel and channle through which light may shine . Submitting to Hashem is the only “giving in” that makes us bigger!
What is the alternative? To remain involved with our own honor? To demand respect. and. if we are offended. to defend ourselves to the hilt with hurtful words that we justify? These types of feelings seem like they are us, but they are only externalities there for us to have the opportunity of real free will.
It is my hope on this fast day, Taanis Esther, that we truly seek awareness of the Shecbina in exile within our makeup and love Him, recognize Him, beseech Him and yearn for Him to please allow us to be a channel to bring His Light that is concealed into this world in a revealed way.