Emunah helps us connect to Hashem’s compassion, love and mercy. Remembering at all times that He loves us, is ever present, and that nothing happens without Him puts everything into perspective. We see once again that we are a blossom within His Creation here to choose to reveal His Light. We have no light of our own. Like the moon, we are here to reflect His Light, which is compassion. Our struggles are here to give us an opportunity to will to go beyond our reason and understanding. Only Hashem can go beyond nature. However, Hashem gives us real free will. With real free will, we can will to go beyond nature, and in so willing, we are part of a creative act that only Hashem can bring about. When we will to go beyond nature, we are partners in creation. The key to remember is that Hashem’s root is compassion. We will to be part of that compassion rather than express the natural reactions of human intellect alone. For that choice, we inoculate ourselves against the bread of shame for all eternity. We choose to be compassionate and reveal Hashem’s light rather than block His Light. Rising above our nature means we can see our urge to act in a way that brings compassion only to our subjective goal (self-pity) and instead find the false wisdom behind that urge.
Whatever feels awry is an implosion within us, in our inner world, given to us so that we may align or re-align all the spiritual material we are experiencing with the truth of Hashem’s Oneness and unity.
When we subsequently take an action, it will be something that reveals Hashem’s love and truth for all to see.
For example, if a child is not cooperating and the parent gets angry and begins forcing the child, the child pulls back and runs. If a child is not cooperating and the parent notices and names it with an expression of understanding regarding the child not wanting to cooperate, without forcing the child but giving the child a moment to feel understood and loved even if the child’s excuse is not acceptable, the parent will have given to the child far more than the act of cooperation itself. From there, the relationship intact, the parent is far more likely to gain cooperation. By asking the child to express the objection to see if it can be accommodated or not, the child does not feel powerless. The parent has gained relationship, important ground in the pursuit of the goal.
We are like that child. Hashem’s love and constant presence and involvement are given. We have no power whatsoever. Nor do we have an independent life force. Yet we have powerful emotions and reactions because we have a life force that is connected to Hashem but that is also affected by the forces of nature, due to having eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
We cry out to Hashem to hear us out. We explain our resistance to the painful events. We activate love for Hashem and awe for Hashem in our hearts, because we will to go beyond what we naturally feel to restore the feeling of Hashem’s love and mercy. Attached to Him, we see more clearly how our reactive nature would add to the darkness. We see that our instinctive urge that is so strong is raw and unrectified, leading us to take action that could be damaging. We search for where the wisdom behind the urge is false. When we see both the urge and the falsehood of the wisdom it is coming from, our breathing with love and awe open the divine space within us for the positive sanctity within the confusion to be returned to Hashem Who then infuses our yetzer tov so that we feel His Love and from there, we take an action that reveals something of His Light. It is a constructive action to address the need without bringing damage or pain.
The subtlety of our thinking needs hisbodidus to become visible. Our souls contain holiness whether or not we realize what that means. The forces within us and the forces that compete for our holiness are part of the spiritual design of the world. We cannot fully understand this design, but the more we learn Torah, the more we are able to build emunah that indeed these forces operate and that we have real free will that can help us receive from Hashem what we need for our yetzer tov to prevail over the influence of yetzer hara to which immature mentality finds its wisdom. Mature mentality is patient and centered on the truth of Hashem’s Oneness and love. When we are willing to be one with that, our hearts melt from stone to flesh. It takes emunah. And then we have bitachon. We all understand the wiles of the darkness. It is imperative that we cling to Torah and to Hashem’s love, beseeching Him to uplift from the darkness the holiness trapped in it and restoring it to the flow of the yetzer tov within us.
No matter how much Torah we know, be it none or all of shaas, the process of this inner implosion and its purpose and our potential to bring light to the world is within reach. It is our effort to want to align with compassion, sincerely from our heart, that brings the blessings. For this reason, our actions that come from compassion are far more powerful than actions from our instinctive urge that we feel are necessary for self-defense.
Adding holiness to the forces of darkness for subjective goals that seemingly bring pleasure must be re-thought….is there an element of honor? If honor is our pursuit, the only Being Who has honor is Hashem. And He is all compassion. Are we afraid of the powerful urges of others that appear to be hurtful to us? If there is hurt coming through someone from Hashem to us, it us up to us to find out what Hashem wants us to find in our hurt that may have something false, something we believe that is blocking His Compassion from flowing into the matter. If we see the emotion-wielding remarks and actions of others as addictions to falsehood, not only do we better understand our own painful reaction as a addiction to a false belief that this person has power to hurt but we may also find exactly the place to experience compassion for another, as unknowingly addicted to a imitation pleasure the yetzer hara offers – a kickback of pleasure.
May we take the time to speak out loud to Hashem, from a place of sincerity, with love and awe, like children in His Arms trying to be G-d-like, loving, merciful, patient, forbearing, intelligent, forgiving, overlooking, peaceful, and giving. And may every sincere effort be given insight into how to be more and more like Hashem, in speech and deed.
May our teshuva be a merit for klal yisrael, for we are one soul, and may we merit to see the redemption come with singing and dancing speedily in our days.