Updated steps to ask for forgiveness, For Elul

It is helpful to read this blog post before using the steps in this post

http://beyondanydoubts.com/2018/08/06/correlating-derech-hashem-to-the-use-of-free-will-love-and-awe-of-hashem-and-healing-shame/

Here it is in slide form so that the thought chain can be seen more clearly

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1xZldHfDwTpIIjFVV9RycGHproa4kk5PCTIzIVhiTuVg/edit?usp=sharing

Resolving Shame has a comprehensive overview to help understand the value of the inner dialogue suggestions in the slides below.

 

My heart is straight for Hashem (Submission)

Step back from reactive thought and see the thought that is painful, judging, hurtful  cursing demonizing.

Realize that some sense of lack stemming from within the limits of self-consciousness (taiva, gaiva, craving for honor) (not actual apparent danger – although this is applicable in actual danger too because often following real danger there is a painful and somehow false interpretation rooted in a flaw of taiva, gaiva or craving for honor)  is generating sadness, frustration/anger/fear that triggered a hurtful response. “Sad mad bad” for short – a hurtful response (to fight or flee)  is directed towards another, towards oneself, towards Hashem, or towards life

I am a creation. There is a Creator Who is all loving and merciful. I bow my heart to Him to find what Hashem wants me to “run” in ratzo v’shov to Him, what He wants from me right now, having placed me in this situation.  I accept this place of shifless, to serve Hashem from this lowliness..

My will is to cleave to Torah and Attributes of Mercy with all my heart, all my soul and all my might (Separation)

From a place of emunah cry out that I am disconnected from feeling what I know, which is that Hashem is all loving and merciful and only does good, and I wish to reconnect. My request is to be able to reveal Your Love and Mercy. PLEASE help me feel Your Love and Mercy in this place where I feel pain.

I love You Hashem and I understand the design and with love and awe in my heart for You,  I am crying out to You and focusing on this place of pain, to fill the very same place with Your love and mercy.  I choose to be like You Hashem. As I do the mitzvahs of loving Hashem and having awe of Hashem, please open the channels and help me feel Your love and mercy so that I may reveal Your love and mercy in this very same place where I feel pain. That is what I choose.

Some helpful ideas for hisbodidus

Choose as appropriate to help the grip onto hurtfulness let go

Tell Hashem “I see my survival instinct is activated and I am trembling. I am turning to You for help. Please help me calm down and bring Your Torah and compassion into my heart. Right now the reality of Your compassion is blocked by understanding and interpretation that is somehow false.

  • IT IS MY WILL TO REVEAL LOVE AND MERCY, TO BE ONE WITH YOUR COMPASSION
    • You are the Source of intellect, life, love and security,  including all my thoughts right now and that with Your help, these thoughts will improve through my sincere free willed choice to ask to be able to act like You..my choice is to reveal Your Love and Mercy. Please help me feel Your Love and Mercy which is in everything at all times, although blocked from me feeling it right now

 

    • Please it is my will that the spiritual energy that is trapped within the thought be free to express love and mercy.
      • Thank you for this opportunity to bring spiritual energy trapped in a block to You so that it may express love and mercy rather than animate this pain. PLEASE help me.

 

  • DIALOGUE WITH  THE HURT PLACE WITH LOVE FOR HASHEM AND  AWE IN THE DESIGN ACTIVE IN THE HEART AS WELL AS THE PAIN
    • From a place of emunah, ask the part that is shaking what it is defending me from? Listen to it deeply while actively feeling love for Hashem, and notice if the feeling of love for Hashem quiets it somewhat ( love produces the enzyme oxytoxin which turns off the limbic system stress response enzyme cortisol). If not, keep breathing in and out while feeling love for Hashem and awe in the design, holding space for whatever painful feelings and reactions come to mind until some safety restores.
      • As it calms, ask it if it felt inadequate and what interpretation it has about that – did it feel shame, embarrassment?.
        • If it is self-blame ask it how it is protecting me by telling me i am inadequate. What is its suggestion of what I should have done and why?
      • Ask it why it has trust in its suggested reactive response to do something hurtful to restore a sense of safety?.
        • Ask it if it is willing to consider that being the most powerful and fearsome might be missing something very important?
        • If it is not willing to let go yet, ask it if it has a glimmer of hope that to take a different course of action might work out better in the long run.
          • If the answer is still no, ask it if it wishes it has a glimmer of hope that a different course of action might work out better in the long run.
          • If the continued answer is still no, ask it if it wishes it wishes it has a glimmer of hope that a different course of action might work out better in the long run.

 

When it says yes, I want to serve Hashem, continue

Reflect its messages back so it feels heard and lead it to healing

  • Receive its message. Ask if there is anything else.  Assuming it has been heard, ask it if it would like to be redeemed from the pain.
    • Ask it if it realizes it is speaking lashon hara about someone else or even motzei shemr, and how that may be backfirig? Ask it if it may be willing instead to see the tzelem elokim in the self or other enough to give the benefit of the doubt, understanding the design of man, and therefore offering a way to see a different interpretation regarding  the matter based on the other person having simply been in fight or flight themselves, how they may be confused.
    • Ask it why it wants to show me a negative image that shouts inadequacy (about the self or other person) and why should I believe its image (which may have been based on imagination of a young child with an underdeveloped mind)  rather than ask myself or the person directly if there is any question?
      • Ask it why, if it knows I will feel inadequate and feel shame by the image it is showing me, would it present such an argument if it is trying to protect me or help me protect myself from hurt or damage?
      • Ask it if it is wanting me to believe lashon hara about myself rather than seeing myself as made in Hashem’s image?

Invite it to consider speaking without the falsehoods from either immaturity and/or imagination disconnected from actual truth (Torah and Hashem’s 13 attributes of mercy)

 

Ask if the feeling of love for Hashem and the feeling of awe in the design which are in my heart are having a positive impact on its pain and reducing its condemnations,  judgments and demonizations. Does it wish for healing and blessing to result?

 

Ask it if it has a way to help me release the pain and if not, would it listen to a suggestion so the pain could finally become regulated, the pattern discarded, and safety restored.

 

Keep breathing in and out until it feels aligned.

 

Try to sense where its interpretations originated and encourage it to join with the True Power – to  replace its painful interpretations rooted in falsehood with understanding rooted in truth that leads to healing

 

  • Ask it if its suggestion of damaging action to take has ever come out well and if not, why does it have emunah in hurtful power if it knows it is distorted, formed in childhood by a young mind? Ask it to tell you about that, to let you feel that memory.

 

    • Ask it if it could see how had someone helped me process the feeling when young, these limiting beliefs and painful patterns might never have developed. Forgive. Breathe.  Focus compassion into that very place.
    • Ask it if it is willing to reveal real power by making a kiddush Hashem instead, using Hashem’s kochos trapped in that limited place  in its pure form, compassion?
      • If no, ask it if,when it feels a lack, would it help to remember that safety and love come from Hashem, and if so, would it be willing to lend its strength and power toward making kiddush Hashem?
      • If no, ask if it wants His security and love?
      • If no,.ASK IT IF IT COULD REALLY USE ITS POWER TO REMOVE SHAME –  the painful feeling for which it is attempting to defend itself – for this lifetime as well as for all eternity?

 

When it admits it cannot,

 

  • Ask if it sees the real chance Torah teaches us,  that by choosing to act G’dly right now, that causative effort  WOULD remove the feeling of inadequacy that generates shame, now and for all eternity?  by choosing to be like Hashem right now, we have the real ability to design ourselves within our inner unique universe as tzelem elokim over the natural and that is the remedy for pain and blame and shame because shame is a consequence of not being able to be Hashem and in our small universe we ARE able to be like Hashem in creating our identity.

 

  • Remind it that Adom ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil because he wanted to be a Creator like Hashem. Resolving the shame felt due to the lesser status of a created being in relation to its Creator can take place when we use free will to choose to be G-d-like. This is the point of Hashem creating a world and giving us real free will and the creative power of speech.

 

Ask if it is willing to upgrade the  help it wishes to give to me

  • Ask if it sees how its power could have a greater impact by choosing to bring compassion into the world and thereby act like Hashem – the only Power -,with Hashem helping?
    • Ask if it is ready to cling to making a kiddush Hashem instead of clinging to deceptions and limiting beliefs?
    • Ask it if it realizes that clinging to falsehood has no eternal benefit and ask if it wishes to have eternal connection to Hashem’s love and compassion and life force.
    • Ask it if it would help increase excitement to see that  this is an “opportunity of lifetime” to choose to be like Hashem, by using free will to emulate Hashem over what distorted action its natural urges are suggesting  right now?
    • Ask it if seeing how being G’dlike  is an actual upgrade to protection against what is happening right now that helps it feel excited, does it also feel gratefulness and empowerment to heal? Would that be worth letting go of feeling threatened, pained, ashamed?
  • If calmness begins, make a mental picture of the thought and feeling chain that presented itself so that it may now be spoken out loud to Hashem.

Speak out loud to Hashem  

4 steps of teshuva

Confess out loud to Hashem the flaws (desire, anger, craving for honor) as well as the natural hurtful urge in great detail that is being generated  to restore the perceived lack.

  • Describe how the steps from that urge are or have been in the past unproductive, damaging, and possibly aveiras.

 

  • Tell Hashem that I believed the deception because I forgot my true identity, which  is that I am made in your Image and have real free will to choose to reveal compassion and be like Hashem rather than express something conscious only of material and physical existence…

 

Tell Hashem I regret doing this, that I see I fell victim to something deceptive and invested my pure soul in something false and limiting and I am stopping. I wish to redeem what I have trapped in falsehood and return to You.

My plan for the future is when I have this reaction to turn to You Hashem and ask for help and to not act on it by instead going through this personal prayer.

 

Ask for forgiveness and healing

  • Ask Hashem to please help all the positive spiritual energy within me once again reveal the true expression of Your Love and Mercy so that I feel Hashem’s love and mercy so that I may reveal love and mercy, bringing blessing warmth and love into speech and deeds.
  • Ask Hashem that the positive spiritual energy that He Designs that has drawn me over and over to this pattern also be unified back to Him and be the glue to which instead I cling for life to Hashem. (If there is another person involved, send a blessing there as well)

 

Breathe in and out while focusing on the place of pain, feeling love for Hashem and awe in the design, asking Hashem to replace the pain with love and mercy

Feel love for Hashem and awe in the design (Ramchal teaches that love and awe are wings…) while feeling all the disconnecting feelings. Describe the feelings and “refill” them with the love and awe for Hashem that is felt in the heart.

  • “run” (through the dynamic feeling of love for Hashem and awe in the design of how He has constructed our soul to return Divine creative energy to Him) all the positive spiritual energy animating the reactivity within me to Hashem
  • ask that I feel His love and mercy in the very place within me that is filled with pain.
  • Tell Hashem that I do not want to express how I feel from these negative hurtful reactions because I see they are not true and damaging and I wish to protect my soul.  I wish to be part of His Compassion, expressing His love and mercy instead of expressing the pain.
  • Tell Hashem i want to express His Love and Mercy and to please help me remove the confusion of mind that is attracting me to falsehood and deception.

 

Breathe in and out until calmness and clarity shift

  • ask Hashem that all the positive spiritual energy flow back to my heart as compassion, that I may reveal in my speech and deeds so that He may be revealed in this world.
  • feel everything that comes up while feeling love and awe. Breathing love and awe while describing infuses love and awe into the “material” of the originating thought.

Trust in Hashem, be One with Him – Sweetening

  • Thank Hashem for giving me real free will and speech to form an identity for myself for all eternity as made in His Image.
  • Thank Hashem for the gift of being like Him in being able to create this image, for being given this creative power, so that this choice to be like Him innoculates me from the bread of shame for all eternity.
  • Thank Hashem for the experience of inadequacy and shame in the deceptive place of ego so that I could choose to be like Him in my personal microdot of consciousness that is my unique universe.

Form blessings and healing

  • Realize that these steps help remove the zoohama from having eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
  • Ask that the strength that was trapped in the pain and the strength of the cause of the limiting thought itself now be available to cling to Him.
    • Ask that the tree of life, of being one with Hashem’s lovingkindness, be felt in my survival instincts, weakening the grip of the yetzer hara.

Ask to please help me reveal Your love and mercy in my speech and deeds.

If childhood impressions float through the mind as the recognizable source for the messages of inadequacy, breathe them out gently.

 

ASK THAT THIS TESHUVA be a merit for klal Yisrael so that we are meritorious for redemption b’ahava.

 

Here is this blog post in slide format, to help see the chain of thoughts more clearly and  separated from the suggested ideas for hisbodidus

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1xZldHfDwTpIIjFVV9RycGHproa4kk5PCTIzIVhiTuVg/edit?usp=sharing

It is helpful to read this blog post before using the steps in this post

http://beyondanydoubts.com/2018/08/06/correlating-derech-hashem-to-the-use-of-free-will-love-and-awe-of-hashem-and-healing-shame/

 

My heart is straight for Hashem (Submission)

Step back from reactive thought and see the thought that is painful, judging, hurtful  cursing demonizing.

Realize that some sense of lack stemming from within the limits of self-consciousness (taiva, gaiva, craving for honor) (not actual apparent danger – although this is applicable in actual danger too because often following real danger there is a painful and somehow false interpretation rooted in a flaw of taiva, gaiva or craving for honor)  is generating sadness, frustration/anger/fear that triggered a hurtful response. “Sad mad bad” for short – a hurtful response (to fight or flee)  is directed towards another, towards oneself, towards Hashem, or towards life

I am a creation. There is a Creator Who is all loving and merciful. I bow my heart to Him to find what Hashem wants me to “run” in ratzo v’shov to Him, what He wants from me right now, having placed me in this situation.  I accept this place of shifless, to serve Hashem from this lowliness..

My will is to cleave to Torah and Attributes of Mercy with all my heart, all my soul and all my might (Separation)

From a place of emunah cry out that I am disconnected from feeling what I know, which is that Hashem is all loving and merciful and only does good, and I wish to reconnect. My request is to be able to reveal Your Love and Mercy. PLEASE help me feel Your Love and Mercy in this place where I feel pain.

I love You Hashem and I understand the design and with love and awe in my heart for You,  I am crying out to You and focusing on this place of pain, to fill the very same place with Your love and mercy.  I choose to be like You Hashem. As I do the mitzvahs of loving Hashem and having awe of Hashem, please open the channels and help me feel Your love and mercy so that I may reveal Your love and mercy in this very same place where I feel pain. That is what I choose.

Some helpful ideas for hisbodidus

Choose as appropriate to help the grip onto hurtfulness let go

Tell Hashem “I see my survival instinct is activated and I am trembling. I am turning to You for help. Please help me calm down and bring Your Torah and compassion into my heart. Right now the reality of Your compassion is blocked by understanding and interpretation that is somehow false.

  • IT IS MY WILL TO REVEAL LOVE AND MERCY, TO BE ONE WITH YOUR COMPASSION
    • You are the Source of intellect, life, love and security,  including all my thoughts right now and that with Your help, these thoughts will improve through my sincere free willed choice to ask to be able to act like You..my choice is to reveal Your Love and Mercy. Please help me feel Your Love and Mercy which is in everything at all times, although blocked from me feeling it right now

 

    • Please it is my will that the spiritual energy that is trapped within the thought be free to express love and mercy.
      • Thank you for this opportunity to bring spiritual energy trapped in a block to You so that it may express love and mercy rather than animate this pain. PLEASE help me.

 

  • DIALOGUE WITH  THE HURT PLACE WITH LOVE FOR HASHEM AND  AWE IN THE DESIGN ACTIVE IN THE HEART AS WELL AS THE PAIN
    • From a place of emunah, ask the part that is shaking what it is defending me from? Listen to it deeply while actively feeling love for Hashem, and notice if the feeling of love for Hashem quiets it somewhat ( love produces the enzyme oxytoxin which turns off the limbic system stress response enzyme cortisol). If not, keep breathing in and out while feeling love for Hashem and awe in the design, holding space for whatever painful feelings and reactions come to mind until some safety restores.
      • As it calms, ask it if it felt inadequate and what interpretation it has about that – did it feel shame, embarrassment?.
        • If it is self-blame ask it how it is protecting me by telling me i am inadequate. What is its suggestion of what I should have done and why?
      • Ask it why it has trust in its suggested reactive response to do something hurtful to restore a sense of safety?.
        • Ask it if it is willing to consider that being the most powerful and fearsome might be missing something very important?
        • If it is not willing to let go yet, ask it if it has a glimmer of hope that to take a different course of action might work out better in the long run.
          • If the answer is still no, ask it if it wishes it has a glimmer of hope that a different course of action might work out better in the long run.
          • If the continued answer is still no, ask it if it wishes it wishes it has a glimmer of hope that a different course of action might work out better in the long run.

 

When it says yes, I want to serve Hashem, continue

Reflect its messages back so it feels heard and lead it to healing

  • Receive its message. Ask if there is anything else.  Assuming it has been heard, ask it if it would like to be redeemed from the pain.
    • Ask it if it realizes it is speaking lashon hara about someone else or even motzei shemr, and how that may be backfirig? Ask it if it may be willing instead to see the tzelem elokim in the self or other enough to give the benefit of the doubt, understanding the design of man, and therefore offering a way to see a different interpretation regarding  the matter based on the other person having simply been in fight or flight themselves, how they may be confused.
    • Ask it why it wants to show me a negative image that shouts inadequacy (about the self or other person) and why should I believe its image (which may have been based on imagination of a young child with an underdeveloped mind)  rather than ask myself or the person directly if there is any question?
      • Ask it why, if it knows I will feel inadequate and feel shame by the image it is showing me, would it present such an argument if it is trying to protect me or help me protect myself from hurt or damage?
      • Ask it if it is wanting me to believe lashon hara about myself rather than seeing myself as made in Hashem’s image?

Invite it to consider speaking without the falsehoods from either immaturity and/or imagination disconnected from actual truth (Torah and Hashem’s 13 attributes of mercy)

 

Ask if the feeling of love for Hashem and the feeling of awe in the design which are in my heart are having a positive impact on its pain and reducing its condemnations,  judgments and demonizations. Does it wish for healing and blessing to result?

 

Keep breathing in and out until it feels aligned.

 

Try to sense where its interpretations originated and encourage it to join with the True Power – to  replace its painful interpretations rooted in falsehood with understanding rooted in truth that leads to healing

 

  • Ask it if its suggestion of damaging action to take has ever come out well and if not, why does it have emunah in hurtful power if it knows it is distorted, formed in childhood by a young mind? Ask it to tell you about that, to let you feel that memory.
    • Ask it if it is willing to reveal real power by making a kiddush Hashem instead, using Hashem’s kochos trapped in that limited place  in its pure form, compassion?
      • If no, ask it if,when it feels a lack, would it help to remember that safety and love come from Hashem, and if so, would it be willing to lend its strength and power toward making kiddush Hashem?
      • If no, ask if it wants His security and love?
      • If no,.ASK IT IF IT COULD REALLY USE ITS POWER TO REMOVE SHAME –  the painful feeling for which it is attempting to defend itself – for this lifetime as well as for all eternity?

 

When it admits it cannot,

 

  • Ask if it sees the real chance Torah teaches us,  that by choosing to act G’dly right now, that causative effort  WOULD remove the feeling of inadequacy that generates shame, now and for all eternity?  by choosing to be like Hashem right now, we have the real ability to design ourselves within our inner unique universe as tzelem elokim over the natural and that is the remedy for pain and blame and shame because shame is a consequence of not being able to be Hashem and in our small universe we ARE able to be like Hashem in creating our identity.

 

  • Remind it that Adom ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil because he wanted to be a Creator like Hashem. Resolving the shame felt due to the lesser status of a created being in relation to its Creator can take place when we use free will to choose to be G-d-like. This is the point of Hashem creating a world and giving us real free will and the creative power of speech.

 

Ask if it is willing to upgrade the  help it wishes to give to me

  • Ask if it sees how its power could have a greater impact by choosing to bring compassion into the world and thereby act like Hashem – the only Power -,with Hashem helping?
    • Ask if it is ready to cling to making a kiddush Hashem instead of clinging to deceptions and limiting beliefs?
    • Ask it if it realizes that clinging to falsehood has no eternal benefit and ask if it wishes to have eternal connection to Hashem’s love and compassion and life force.
    • Ask it if it would help increase excitement to see that  this is an “opportunity of lifetime” to choose to be like Hashem, by using free will to emulate Hashem over what distorted action its natural urges are suggesting  right now?
    • Ask it if seeing how being G’dlike  is an actual upgrade to protection against what is happening right now that helps it feel excited, does it also feel gratefulness and empowerment to heal? Would that be worth letting go of feeling threatened, pained, ashamed?
  • If calmness begins, make a mental picture of the thought and feeling chain that presented itself so that it may now be spoken out loud to Hashem.

Speak out loud to Hashem  

4 steps of teshuva

Confess out loud to Hashem the flaws (desire, anger, craving for honor) as well as the natural hurtful urge in great detail that is being generated  to restore the perceived lack.

  • Describe how the steps from that urge are or have been in the past unproductive, damaging, and possibly aveiras.

 

  • Tell Hashem that I believed the deception because I forgot my true identity, which  is that I am made in your Image and have real free will to choose to reveal compassion and be like Hashem rather than express something conscious only of material and physical existence…

 

Tell Hashem I regret doing this, that I see I fell victim to something deceptive and invested my pure soul in something false and limiting and I am stopping. I wish to redeem what I have trapped in falsehood and return to You.

My plan for the future is when I have this reaction to turn to You Hashem and ask for help and to not act on it by instead going through this personal prayer.

 

Ask for forgiveness and healing

  • Ask Hashem to please help all the positive spiritual energy within me once again reveal the true expression of Your Love and Mercy so that I feel Hashem’s love and mercy so that I may reveal love and mercy, bringing blessing warmth and love into speech and deeds.
  • Ask Hashem that the positive spiritual energy that He Designs that has drawn me over and over to this pattern also be unified back to Him and be the glue to which instead I cling for life to Hashem. (If there is another person involved, send a blessing there as well)

 

Breathe in and out while focusing on the place of pain, feeling love for Hashem and awe in the design, asking Hashem to replace the pain with love and mercy

Feel love for Hashem and awe in the design (Ramchal teaches that love and awe are wings…) while feeling all the disconnecting feelings. Describe the feelings and “refill” them with the love and awe for Hashem that is felt in the heart.

  • “run” (through the dynamic feeling of love for Hashem and awe in the design of how He has constructed our soul to return Divine creative energy to Him) all the positive spiritual energy animating the reactivity within me to Hashem
  • ask that I feel His love and mercy in the very place within me that is filled with pain.
  • Tell Hashem that I do not want to express how I feel from these negative hurtful reactions because I see they are not true and damaging and I wish to protect my soul.  I wish to be part of His Compassion, expressing His love and mercy instead of expressing the pain.
  • Tell Hashem i want to express His Love and Mercy and to please help me remove the confusion of mind that is attracting me to falsehood and deception.

 

Breathe in and out until calmness and clarity shift I

  • ask Hashem that all the positive spiritual energy flow back to my heart as compassion, that I may reveal in my speech and deeds so that He may be revealed in this world.
  • feel everything that comes up while feeling love and awe. Breathing love and awe while describing infuses love and awe into the “material” of the originating thought.

Trust in Hashem, be One with Him – Sweetening

  • Thank Hashem for giving me real free will and speech to form an identity for myself for all eternity as made in His Image.
  • Thank Hashem for the gift of being like Him in being able to create this image, for being given this creative power, so that this choice to be like Him innoculates me from the bread of shame for all eternity.
  • Thank Hashem for the experience of inadequacy and shame in the deceptive place of ego so that I could choose to be like Him in my personal microdot of consciousness that is my unique universe.

Form blessings and healing

  • Realize that these steps help remove the zoohama from having eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
  • Ask that the strength that was trapped in the pain and the strength of the cause of the limiting thought itself now be available to cling to Him.
    • Ask that the tree of life, of being one with Hashem’s lovingkindness, be felt in my survival instincts, weakening the grip of the yetzer hara.

Ask to please help me reveal Your love and mercy in my speech and deeds.

If childhood impressions float through the mind as the recognizable source for the messages of inadequacy, breathe them out gently.

 

ASK THAT THIS TESHUVA be a merit for klal Yisrael so that we are meritorious for redemption b’ahava.

 

Step back from reactive thought and see the thought that is painful, judging, hurtful  cursing demonizing. Realize that some lack generated sadness, frustration/anger/fear that triggered a hurtful response. Sad mad bad.

  1.  

    1. From a place of emunah cry out that I am disconnected from feeling what I know, which is that Hashem is all loving and merciful and only does good, and I wish to reconnect.

     

    1. Tell Hashem “I see my survival instinct is activated and I am trembling. I am turning to You for help. Please help me calm down and bring Your Torah and compassion into my heart. I place my trust in You. I know You are the Source of intellect, life, love and security,  including all my thoughts right now and that with Your help, these thoughts will improve through my sincere free willed choice to ask to be able to act like You..
    • From a place of emunah, ask the part that is shaking what it is defending me from? Listen to it deeply while actively feeling love for Hashem, and notice if the feeling of love for Hashem quiets it somewhat ( love produces the enzyme oxytoxin which turns off the limbic system stress response enzyme cortisol). If not, keep breathing in and out while feeling love for Hashem and awe in the design, holding space for whatever painful feelings and reactions come to mind until some safety restores.
    • As it calms, ask it if it felt inadequate and what interpretation it has about that – did it feel shame, embarrassment?.
    • Ask it why it has trust in its suggested reactive response to do something hurtful to restore a sense of safety?.
      • Ask it if it is willing to consider that being the most powerful and fearsome might be missing something very important?
      • Ask it if it has a glimmer of hope that to take a different course of action might work out better in the long run.
        • If the answer is no, ask it if it wishes it has a glimmer of hope that a different course of action might work out better in the long run.
          • If the answer is still no, ask it if it wishes it wishes it has a glimmer of hope that a different course of action might work out better in the long run.

    When it says yes, I want to serve Hashem, continue

    • Ask it if it realizes it is speaking lashon hara about someone else or even motzei shemra? Ask it if it may see the tzelem elokim in the other enough to understand how they may be confused.
      • Ask it why it wants to show me a negative image about the other person and why should I believe its image rather than ask the person directly if there is any question?
        • Ask it why, if it knows I will feel inadequate and feel shame by the image it is showing me, would it present such an argument if it is trying to protect me or help me protect myself from hurt or damage?
        • Ask it if it is wanting me to believe lashon hara about myself rather than seeing myself as made in Hashem’s image?

     

    Ask if the feeling of love for Hashem and the feeling of awe in the design which are in my heart are having a positive impact on its pain and reducing its condemnations,  judgments and demonizations.

     

    • Ask it if its suggestion of damaging action to take has ever come out well and if not, why does it have emunah in hurtful power if it knows it is distorted?
      • Ask it if it is willing to reveal real power by making a kiddush Hashem instead, using Hashem’s kochos in its pure form, compassion?
        • If no, ask it if,when it feels a lack, would it help to remember that safety and love come from Hashem, and if so, would it be willing to lend its strength and power toward making kiddush Hashem?
        • If no, ask if it wants His security and love?
        • If no,.ASK IT IF IT COULD REALLY USE ITS POWER TO REMOVE SHAME –  the painful feeling for which it is attempting to defend itself – for this lifetime as well as for all eternity?

     

    When it admits it cannot,

     

    • Ask if it sees a chance that by choosing to act G’dly right now,that causative effort  WOULD remove the feeling of inadequacy that generates shame? Remind it that Adom ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil because he wanted to be a Creator like Hashem. Resolving the shame felt due to the lesser status of a created being in relation to its Creator can take place when we use free will to choose to be G-d-like. This is the point of Hashem creating a world and giving us real free will and the creative power of speech.
      • Ask if it sees how its power could have a greater impact by choosing to bring compassion into the world and thereby act like Hashem – the only Power -,with Hashem helping?
      • Ask if it is ready to cling to making a kiddush Hashem instead of clinging to deceptions and limiting beliefs?
      • Ask it if it would help increase excitement to see that  this is an “opportunity of lifetime” to choose to be like Hashem, by using free will to emulate Hashem over what distorted action its natural urges are suggesting  right now?
      • Ask it if seeing how being G’dlike  is an actual upgrade to protection against what is happening right now that helps it feel excited, does it also feel gratefulness and empowerment to heal? Would that be worth letting go of feeling threatened, pained, ashamed?
    • If calmness begins, make a mental picture of the thought and feeling chain that presented itself so that it may now be spoken out loud to Hashem.

     

    1. Confess out loud the desire, anger, craving for honor as well as the natural urge to restore the perceived lack.
    • Describe how the steps from that urge are or have been unproductive, damaging, and possibly aveiras.
    • Tell Hashem I regret doing this, that I see I fell victim to something deceptive and invested my pure soul in something false and limiting and I am stopping.
    • My plan for the future is when I have this reaction to turn to You Hashem and ask for help and to not act on it by instead going through this personal prayer.
    • Tell Hashem that I believed the deception because I forgot my true identity is that I am made in your Image and have real free will to choose to reveal compassion and be like Hashem..
    • Ask Hashem to please help all the positive spiritual energy within me once again reveal the true expression of Your Love and Mercy so that I feel Hashem’s love and mercy so that I may reveal love and mercy.

     

    1. Ask Hashem that the positive spiritual energy that He Designs that has drawn me over and over to this pattern also be unified back to Him and be the glue to which instead I cling for life to Hashem.

     

    1. Feel love for Hashem and awe in the design (Ramchal teaches that love and awe are wings…) while feeling all the disconnecting feelings.
    • “run” (through the dynamic feeling of love for Hashem and awe in the design of how He has constructed our soul to return Divine creative energy to Him) all the positive spiritual energy animating the reactivity within me to Hashem
    • asking that i feel His love and mercy in the very place within me that is filled with pain.
    • Tell Hashem that I do not want to express how I feel from these negative hurtful reactions because I see they are not true and damaging and I wish to protect my soul.
    • Tell Hashem i want to express His Love and Mercy and to please help me remove the confusion of mind that is attracting me to falsehood and deception.

     

    1. Breathe in and out until calmness and clarity shift I
    • ask Hashem that all the positive spiritual energy flow back to my heart as compassion, that I may reveal in my speech and deeds so that He may be revealed in tbis world.
    • feel everything that comes up while feeling love and awe. Breathing love and awe while describing infuses love and awe into the “material” of the originating thought.

     

    1. Thank Hashem for giving me real free will and speech to form an identity for myself for all eternity as made in His Image.

     

    1. Thank Hashem for the gift of being like Him in being able to create this image, for being given this creative power, so that this choice to be like Him innoculates me from the bread of shame for all eternity.

     

    1. Thank Hashem for the experience of inadequacy and shame in the deceptive place of ego so that I could choose to be like Him in my personal microdot of consciousness that is my unique universe.

     

    1. Realize that these steps help remove the zoohama from having eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

     

    1. ask that the tree of life, of being one with Hashems lovingkindness, be felt in my survival instincts, weakening the grip of the yetzer hara.

     

    1. ASK THAT THIS TESHUVA be a merit for klal yisrael so that we are meritorious for redemption b’ahava.

    Step back from reactive thought and see the thought that is painful, judging, hurtful  cursing demonizing. Realize that some lack generated sadness, frustration/anger/fear that triggered a hurtful response. Sad mad bad.

 

  1. From a place of emunah cry out that I am disconnected from feeling what I know, which is that Hashem is all loving and merciful and only does good, and I wish to reconnect.

 

  1. Tell Hashem “I see my survival instinct is activated and I am trembling. I am turning to You for help. Please help me calm down and bring Your Torah and compassion into my heart. I place my trust in You. I know You are the Source of intellect, life, love and security,  including all my thoughts right now and that with Your help, these thoughts will improve through my sincere free willed choice to ask to be able to act like You..
  • From a place of emunah, ask the part that is shaking what it is defending me from? Listen to it deeply while actively feeling love for Hashem, and notice if the feeling of love for Hashem quiets it somewhat ( love produces the enzyme oxytoxin which turns off the limbic system stress response enzyme cortisol). If not, keep breathing in and out while feeling love for Hashem and awe in the design, holding space for whatever painful feelings and reactions come to mind until some safety restores.
  • As it calms, ask it if it felt inadequate and what interpretation it has about that – did it feel shame embarrassment?.
  • Ask it why it has trust in its suggested reactive response to do something hurtful to restore a sense of safety?.
    • Ask it if it is willing to consider that being the most powerful and fearsome might be missing something very important?
    • Ask it if it has a glimmer of hope that to take a different course of action might work out better in the long run.
      • If the answer is no, ask it if it wishes it has a glimmer of hope that a different course of action might work out better in the long run.
        • If the answer is still no, ask it if it wishes it wishes it has a glimmer of hope that a different course of action might work out better in the long run.

When it says yes, I want to serve Hashem, continue

  • Ask it if it realizes it is speaking lashon hara about someone else or even motzei shemra? Ask it if it may see the tzelem elokim in the other enough to understand how they may be confused.
  • Ask it if it is wanting me to believe lashon hara about myself rather than seeing myself as made in Hashem’s image? Ask if the feeling of love for Hashem and the feeling of awe in the design which are in my heart are having a positive impact and reducing its condemnations,  judgments and demonizations.
  • Ask it if its suggestion of damaging action to take has ever come out well and if not, why does it have emunah in power if it knows it is distorted?
  • Ask it if it is willing to reveal real power by making a kiddush Hashem instead, using Hashem’s kochos in its pure form, compassion?
    • If no, ask it if,when it feels a lack, would it help to remember that safety and love come from Hashem, and if so, would it be willing to lend its strength and power toward making kiddush Hashem?
    • If no, ask if it wants His security and love?
    • If no,.ASK IT IF IT COULD REALLY USE ITS POWER TO REMOVE SHAME –  the painful feeling for which it is attempting to defend itself – for this lifetime as well as for all eternity?

When it admits it cannot,

  • Ask if it sees a chance that by choosing to act G’dly right now,that causative effort  WOULD remove the feeling of inadequacy that generates shame? Remind it that Adom ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil because he wanted to be a Creator like Hashem. Resolving the shame felt due to the lesser status of a created being in relation to its Creator can take place when we use free will to choose to be G-dlike. Ths is the point of Hashem creating a world and giving us real free will and the creative power of speech.
    • Ask if it sees how its power could have a greater impact by choosing to bring compassion into the world and thereby act like Hashem – the only Power -,with Hashem helping?
    • Ask if it is ready to cling to making a kiddush Hashem instead of clinging to deceptions and limiting beliefs?
    • Ask it if it would help increase excitement to see that  this is an “opportunity of lifetime” to choose to be like Hashem, by using free will to emulate Hashem ovem r what distorted action its natural urges are suggesting  right now?
    • Ask it if seeing how being G’dlike  is an actual upgrade to protection against what is happening right now that helps it feel excited, does it also feel gratefulness and empowerment to heal? Would that be worth letting go of feeling threatened, pained, ashamed?
  • If calmness begins, make a mental picture of the thought and feeling chain that presented itself so that it may now be spoken out loud to Hashem.

 

  1. Confess out loud the desire, anger, craving for honor as well as the natural urge to restore the perceived lack.
  • Describe how the steps from that urge are or have been unproductive, damaging, and possibly aveiras.
  • Tell Hashem I regret doing this, that I see I fell victim to something deceptive and invested my pure soul in something false and limiting and I am stopping.
  • My plan for the future is when I have this reaction to turn to You Hashem and ask for help and to not act on it by instead going through this personal prayer.
  • Tell Hashem that I believed the deception because I forgot my true identity is that I am made in your Image and have real free will to choose to reveal compassion and be like Hashem..
  • Ask Hashem to please help all the positive spiritual energy within me once again reveal the true expression of Your Love and Mercy so that I feel Hashem’s love and mercy so that I may reveal love and mercy.

 

  1. Ask Hashem that the positive spiritual energy that He Designs that has drawn me over and over to this pattern also be unified back to Him and be the glue to which instead I cling for life to Hashem.

 

  1. Feel love for Hashem and awe in the design (Ramchal teaches that love and awe are wings…) while feeling all the disconnecting feelings.
  • “run” (through the dynamic feeling of love for Hashem and awe in the design of how He has constructed our soul to return Divine creative energy to Him) all the positive spiritual energy animating the reactivity within me to Hashem
  • asking that i feel His love and mercy in the very place within me that is filled with pain.
  • Tell Hashem that I do not want to express how I feel from these negative hurtful reactions because I see they are not true and damaging and I wish to protect my soul.
  • Tell Hashem i want to express His Love and Mercy and to please help me remove the confusion of mind that is attracting me to falsehood and deception.

 

  1. Breathe in and out until calmness and clarity shift I
  • ask Hashem that all the positive spiritual energy flow back to my heart as compassion, that I may reveal in my speech and deeds so that He may be revealed in tbis world.
  • feel everything that comes up while feeling love and awe. Breathing love and awe while describing infuses love and awe into the “material” of the originating thought.

 

  1. Thank Hashem for giving me real free will and speech to form an identity for myself for all eternity as made in His Image.

 

  1. Thank Hashem for the gift of being like Him in being able to create this image, for being given this creative power, so that this choice to be like Him innoculates me from the bread of shame for all eternity.

 

  1. Thank Hashem for the experience of inadequacy and shame in the deceptive place of ego so that I could choose to be like Him in my personal microdot of consciousness that us my unique universe.

 

  1. Realize that these steps help remove the zoohama from having eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

 

  1. ask that the tree of life, of being one with Hashems lovingkindness, be felt in my survival instincts, weakening the grip of the yetzer hara.

 

  1. ASK THAT THIS TESHUVA be a merit for klal yisrael so that we are meritorious for redemption b’ahava.

 

3 thoughts on “Updated steps to ask for forgiveness, For Elul

  1. Pingback: The dynamic prayer, updated. It is up to US. Please help us. All we want is You - Nourishment for the Neshama

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.