Motivation to use and context for dynamic prayer, hisbodidus, when “in action” with downward pulls

  1. Step back from reactive thought and see the thought.
  2. From a place of emunah cry out that I am disconnected and wish to reconnect.
  3. Tell Hashem how my survival instinct is trembling and to help me calm it down by remembering that its reactivity is happening because I am having a hidden thought that I am inadequate and therefore should be ashamed by my flaws.
  4.  Confess my flaw and thank Hashem for the opportunity to bring the positive spiritual energy trapped by my aveiras and past mistakes of believing this lashon hara about the part of my soul that is pure from this darkness so that I may once again feel Hashem’s love and mercy(the true innermost characteristic of everything) and reveal His Compassion in the very place where my survival instinct is reactive.
  5.  Ask Hashem that the positive spiritual energy within the downward pulls that He Designs that has drawn me because of my flaws over and over to subconsciously react within this pattern also be unified back to Him and be the glue to which instead I cling for life to Hashem.  Declare intention – I don’t want to express darkness and confusion.  I choose to express Your Love and Mercy but I need Your Help.
  6.  Make actual causative effort – Feel love for Hashem and awe in the design and “run” all the positive spiritual energy animating the reactivity within me to Hashem by asking out loud to feel His love and mercy. Tell Hashem that I do not want to express how I feel from these reactions, which is a consequence of my flaws believing lures from the yetzer hara and listening to natural judgments and demonizations about myself or others. Tell Hashem I want to express His Love and Mercy and to please help me remove the confusion of mind that is attracting me to falsehood and deception.  Tell Hashem that I am asking for my flaws to be healed and that my soul be guarded from the pulls of the negativity, and that the strength of the negativity itself become available to me to cling to Hashem as a channel within my physical reality to feel and reveal His Love and Mercy.
  7. Breathe in and out until calmness and clarity shift in, asking Hashem that all the positive spiritual energy flow back to my heart as compassion that I may reveal in my speech and deeds so that He may be revealed in this world. ( feel everything that comes up while feeling love and awe. Breathing love and awe while describing infuses love and awe into the “material” of the originating thought).
  8. Thank Hashem for giving me real free will and speech to form an identity for myself for all eternity as made in His Image.  In the microdot of consciousness that is my unique universe, I have real free will to create who I am as being made in Your Image over my natural responses and that is what I choose.
  9. Thank Hashem for the gift of being like Him in being able to create this image, for being given this creative power, so that this choice to be like Him innoculates me from the bread of shame for all eternity.
  10. Thank Hashem for the experience of inadequacy and shame in the deceptive place of ego and being flawed so that I could choose to be like Him in my personal microdot of consciousness that us my unique universe and life.
  11. Realize that these steps help remove the zuhama from having eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  May this realization empower us to face our personal pain with understanding and love for Hashem and awe in how He has created the world for our benefit.
  12. Ask that the tree of life, of being one with Hashem’s lovingkindness, be felt in my survival instincts, weakening the grip of the yetzer hara by unifying Hashem’s Name, ein od milvado.
  13. ASK THAT THIS TESHUVA be a merit for klal yisrael so that we are meritorious for redemption b’ahava.
The dynamic prayer, updated. It is up to US. Please help us. All we want is You

5 thoughts on “Motivation to use and context for dynamic prayer, hisbodidus, when “in action” with downward pulls

    1. shulikleinman Post author

      So glad if it resonates. I am starting to realize something …I have to sit with it a little longer, but without blaming ourselves, or anyone else, I am beginning to think that what we feel in reaction is only an echo chamber of what we are empowered to fix as it exists within us.

      For example, if I feel judged and demonized, insulted and humiliated, that is echoing to me that these interpretations are trapping my soul and not coming from outside, despite how it feels!!!

      I am pretty sure the BESHT teaches this, and although I learned it many years ago, I don’t think I truly understood it as truth because that means I am to blame, or am responsible for the pain I feel. And that feels like a flaw, and a flaw means I am inadequate and deserving of shame. Without an understanding of shame being an opportunity to innoculate ourselves from the bread of shame by elevating all the positive spiritual energy towards clinging to Hashem and choosing to emulate His 13 attributes of mercy, shame is too painful to address. It becomes a matter of survival within our reactive brain to be seen in a good light.

      By undoing the shame and elevating it, the reality of this truth about the echo becomes only a flaw in the fabric that emunah and Hashem’s help (when we ask) can be healed. Sitting with this….what do you think?

      Do you think if we see our flaws as known to Hashem and acceptable to Him (He creates us flawed) and if we could come to realize that it is our interpretation of the flaw that is blocking us from feeling Hashem’s love and mercy, would we have more empowerment to look inside?

      What if our interpretations are based on how we experienced life when that flaw shows?
      Do you think we would feel more empowered to choose to emulate Hashem and feel the discomfort of our past damaging interpretations?
      Do you think this is the teshuva we need to do to repair ourselves and any damage we may have caused through hurtful responses?
      Do you think it is redemptive?

      Reply
  1. Pingback: May our work in upcoming Elul help us dissolve sinas chinam once and for all - Nourishment for the Neshama

  2. rochel

    Hi Shuli. I want to thank you for this motivation / hisbodedus. It summarizes your previous shiurim which I have been learning with my family and has made a tangible difference. I just want you to know how helpful and insightful this Torah knowledge is for us. There is literally so much Torah out there BH!!! It’s sometimes overwhelming. But your words really resonate and speak straight to my life situations and really have helped me focus on upper consciousness with my relationships. Yeshar Koach and wishing you abundant brachos!

    Reply
  3. Pingback: The dynamic prayer, updated. It is up to US. Please help us. All we want is You - Nourishment for the Neshama

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