There are many people who have large families. Is there a certain wisdom parents who raise many children can acquire. For example, what is the simple truth that answers:
Imagine a simple game of roly poly with babies. It can become so complicated. One baby rolls to the other, who rolls back. Right? Well, that is assuming that the receiving baby can wait for the other baby to roll it back and not go grab it. And that is assuming the throwing baby decides to play and not keep the ball.
Or imagine if one baby has a bottle or is being held, how the other baby cries for a bottle and to be held. If one toddler has to go to the bathroom, the other toddler has to go at the same time. It is clear that built in to everyone is the natural instinct to have the same thing.
Once we see the simple truth about how we are created, and we accept it without judging it, then we can take the next step with understanding. When we see our children exhibiting these normal inborn characteristics, we may otherwise get triggered and in so doing, ascribe judgments that then become imprinted on the child’s mind. However, with understanding, we see how our interpretation of what is natural instinct becomes the belief system of the child!
Thus it is important that we understand ourselves well enough to make sure that our interpretations are not only accurate but that our manner of action to shape our children is empathetic and helpful in the child’s maturing from the natural born instincts to a level of functioning above what is natural that can help them have truly happy lives.
What comes out is that we are seeing visual proof of Hashem’s intention. Hashem has given a spark of Himself combined with a deeper hidden spark of Himself in the body itself. The person exists in time and space, in the material and physical world.
Body and soul seem to be two trails of emanations. But both lead to His Infinite Oneness. There is no other Power.
Comprehending that there is No Other Power makes talking to Hashem seem like the very best way to handle our feelings. Why? Feelings, especially charged feelings, are not plugged into the wall! The reason they feel so charged is because of our own soul. The power within our own soul is naturally and instinctively bonded with a material or physical concept or belief. Because it is bounded in material and physical reality, it is limited and does not reveal the true Source, Hashem. And because Hashem is concealed, the material and physical world leaves much room for our imagination to develop false beliefs that we ignorantly trust in lieu of trusting only in Hashem.
For example we may come to believe the natural thinking with which we are born, that what we have is because of our own power, that we exist, that we have autonomy, and that it is essential that what we believe be dominant. The sooner we see through this thinking and begin to trust in Hashem and to beseech Him to redeem our soul from its natural bonds to the physical and material world, the sooner we will begin to live lives that are pleasing, as we reveal Hashem’s constant love and mercy in lieu of our false beliefs. We are free to let go of needing to allocate blame or scold others, or shame others, or “get to the bottom of it or get it off our chest.”
In today’s world, talking about our false beliefs with others has a way of backfiring. How? Very often, people feel scolded or belittled by the implication that something they did generated something negative. We are told that no one can cause us to feel anything. And that is true. In theory that is true. However, in practicality, unless people work on themselves, the negative charges within our thinking are easily triggered and there are many contests of who did what to whom first and whose fault it is. Instead of bringing a positive resolution to our sharing feelings and being vulnerable, the matter becomes more charged, more complicated.
So if we are less and less able to talk things over with those we love, how do we healthfully regulate the emotions and feelings that are felt with great charge within us?
Hisbodidus is a way of opening up our hearts and feelings in Hashem’s presence to feel everything we are experiencing and to cry out to Hashem that we realize, in these feelings, that are blocked from feeling the truth of His Love and Mercy. We want, Hashem, to feel Your Love and Mercy because we want to reveal Your love and mercy into the world. Please help us. We love You Hashem. We understand the design with which You have made us and the world in order to give us real free will and bring the Divine energy within us and others, the creative force, compassion from the limited bounded physical material plane to the Palace of the King.
When we see our sweetest blessings, our babies, our children, and we understand how we are created, it helps us to help them regulate their natural instincts and grow in their consideration and concern for others according to Torah. We empower them without trapping their souls in painful trauma related to our imaginations and judgments because of how we perceive/misperceive or judge their natural instinctive bonding. They are in need of being shaped, not judged or blamed. By realizing we can accomplish far more with compassionate communications, emulating Hashem’s love and mercy when involved in relationships with others, we also help ourselves dispel our false beliefs stemming from our material and physical limits.
May we grow healthfully for our own sake and may our growth benefit the next generation as well as unify Hashem’s compassion in the world so that He may be revealed.