Our life force pumps through us – where does it flow from? Obviously our hearts beat and we breathe and the processes of life are active within us, hopefully for 120 years in good health. But where does it come from? We come into the world with it, but so far, there is no generic version of it that we can create or recreate for ourselves or anyone else.
What we feel pulsing through us is directly connected to Hashem’s Will alone. His kindness gives us life. It comes barreling through to us from the Throne of Glory and meets our flesh and blood body, which it animates and maintains in life.
Do we understand that it is all kindness?
As soon as it enters the body, it encounters the elements of this world – solid, water, gas, and radioactive elements. These earthy, watery, windy and firey elements are also filled with Hashem’s lovingkindness, but He is concealed within them.
An object and a body encounter each other. It appears as two. But each is formed of the identical kindness that is its soul. It is up to see past the presenting forms in order to comprehend our mission.
Our mission is to praise Hashem and reveal His lovingkindness and kingship through our speech and deeds.
The natural thing when we daven is to feel our minds racing towards what WE have to do. This is kindness flowing to us with a covering of self-consciousness whispering its lists of goals for the day that we mistakenly believe is our true identity and that reaching these goals is more important than speaking a few sincere words to Hashem. In that very moment, we have the opportunity to subdue something within us and create an eternal identity for ourselves while unifying the Holy One with its Divine Presence. In that moment, we can be either like Hashem or with Hashem rather than conflicted in how to spend our time in the moment.
When we have the emunah to comprehend what is happening, that all there is in the world is Hashem and He is sending life force and opportunity so that the self, the real self, can perform the process of unifying His Name, our outlook on our to-do list should shift. And if it does not, that is okay, we can still cry out and tell Hashem I know what this is and I want to shift to be like You or with You but I need Your help, my soul is very drawn to the to-do list. Please help me daven to You with both my inclinations.
May we more and more understand that the self is a consciousness of what it means to be really alive and of how amazing is Hashem that He can give us a way to know who He is and benefit from that relationship.
And may we be zocheh to reveal His lovingkindness and kingship into the world and see a new light with peace and love.