Once we accept our basic human nature as the biology of being alive – that we want something, that when our goal is frustrated we find that stressful and that stress hormone triggers our survival instincts, which then place us into thinking that is defensive and damaging, either to ourselves or others – that self-knowledge can become a choice rather than a given.
When we notice this basic, constant neurology in operation, we can choose to zoom out.
Hashem has given us life and this compelling, neurologically felt biology to cover the true reality. What is the true reality?
We are filled only by a force that He Wills.
The force that fills us is connected to Hashem and contains His 13 Attributes of Mercy. We are carved from His Lovingkindness, we are filled by His Lovingkindness, and we are intended to choose to reveal that lovingkindness over the compelling neurology our survival instincts otherwise would suggest to us.
The place of choice is the moment we zoom out where we make the effort to cry out to Hashem, to describe in detail what we are feeling and to tell Hashem that it is our choice to respond in a way that reveals Him because all we want is to see the King. When we so choose, we have taken our mortal existence and converted it into eternal life.
The rest is up to Hashem. Very often, we feel a calming. Our neurology, when we bring love into our hearts as we do when we remember to cry out to Hashem with love for Him, releases a hormone that actually calms us down. This is how we can have a deeper love for Hashem, our Creator, Who by our very biology and the giving of Torah leads us to truth and inner peace.
But don’t take my word for it. Try it out. When feeling distressed, recognize the survival instincts and all the “weapons” we are considering, be they words or actions, to “defend ourselves.” Instead of continuing that line of thought, hold those feelings in the heart but zoom out and cry out to Hashem. Tell Him every detail of what happened and all that is being triggered inside. Tell him the damages that you are weighing that feel so justified and then tell Him “I only want to see the King. I don’t want this natural reaction. I wish to direct the forces within me NOT for the subjective survival instincts I feel because I know that survival depends only on You and that You have sent this to me so that I may participate in affecting whether or not Your Mercy is seen in the world. I choose to do something that will reveal the forces as Your Mercy. Please help me.”
Hashem is with us right here, right now, at every moment. He is really all there is, there is no other Power. Are we going to open the door and bring Him through our hearts? The choice is ours. He does the rest!! Our role is to have emunah in this truth and to remember to cry out in relationship, to fulfill the role He intends for us, to participate in bringing His Presence from concealment to revelation through shining His Merciful Lifegiving force through. To do so, we remove the obstruction – human nature – with love and longing to see the King. And that choice brings us eternal life and adds to the revelation of light that brings the sprouting of Moshiach.