A hundred thank you’s for life – from the perspective of emunah

What is my lifetime and struggling for?  Do I see my adverse reactions as terrible?  Or do I see them as moments to love Hashem for the experience of life for my life itself – a time period where He gives me the opportunity to recognize that He is behind everything and that, by recognizing Him wth love, my lifetime vitality is tethered to an eternal identity cuddled in His Embrace.  This is calming while we are alive, when we have emunah, yearning only to reveal His Compassion over my natural reactions so as to walk through this life with Him, for His Love then enters and heals our hearts.

Being alive, having consciousness, means that we are experiencing the natural world that is running through the auspices of the yetzer hara, the evil inclination that conceals Hashem’s presence from being seen, with obstacles and image that lead us to subjective concerns and childish painful responses in order to give us real free will.  Although the intent of the yetzer hara is evil and destructive, the purpose Hashem has in creating the yetzer hara is to give us life and opportunity to build eternal life, earning our eternity.

The yetzer hara, truly dedicated to our destruction, does not really want us to fail the test, for that would mean its own spiritual force would remain in the physical world and dissipate.  Instead, the spark of Hashem that vitalizes  the yetzer hara IS the spiritual material that through our choice to love Hashem yields a unification of our soul and His Name for which we are granted eternal life and inner peace in this world.

When we properly understand our lifetime and in the moment we make choices from emunah to love Hashem and cling, we restore calmness and experience simcha, and we see the dissolving –  including the forgetting of the circumstances – of what had triggered us with pain.  Often the matter becomes healed in physicality a well.

Perhaps we have an inkling of what it may mean to wipe out the memory of Amalek.

 

  1. Thank you that I felt angry
  2. Thank you that I realized it and did not say anything before considering what was happening
  3. Thank you that I recognized how the pain was coming from an image of the yetzer hara
  4. Thank you for the balancing image that this was a snake bite and a test
  5. Thank you for opening up for me why I got triggered
  6. Thank you for helping me see that long ago when I was shamed and blamed and ridiculed as a child, my natural sense of honor and esteem went underground and that this triggered moment is sent to help me with that.
  7. Thank you for giving me the reading on Purim from Rabbi Moshe Shapiro that taught me about the yetzer hara having an evil malevolent dedicated intent to destroy but its purpose is to give us eternal life when we pass our test
  8. Thank you for the past few years where I have felt more and more connected to You that I do not want anything to interfere with that, even that huge angry moment
  9. Thank you for helping me develop awareness that real value is Hashem, Who is real, consistent and existing across time.
  10. Thank you for helping me use the life force, the honorable tzelem elokim, that You give me to connect myself to real value, Hashem, by remembering that these tests are to help us properly choose and build eternal identity.
  11. Thank you that no one knew how angry I felt.
  12. Thank you that I remembered to pray to You in the moment, doing teshuva on past failures when I listened to the yetzer hara’s imagery and said and did things that negatively affected others even though I thought I was helping.
  13. Thank you for accepting my request that all past failures be forgiven and that my teshuva be a merit for klal Yisrael.
  14. Thank you for asking that my teshuva take power away from the forces of darkness which operate in the world and hurt people
  15. Thank you for amazing technology that provides means of communication
  16. Thank you for helping me realize that compassion and creativity can have many obstructions over them but that they exist because these are Your qualities.
  17. Thank you for creating love
  18. Thank you for helping me see how to connect to You by loving You, the Creator of Love and thereby restore consciousness to a positive place.
  19. Thank you for amazing kosher stores that remind me of how the Yidden walked through the Red Sea, with all their need provided in the “aisles” of the walls of the sea.
  20. Thank you that when I tripped today nothing happened and that I could get up
  21. Thank you for the drop in the stock market that reminds me that You alone determined on Rosh Hashana what we have.
  22. Thank you for the horrific video of the disgusting murder of an innocent person so that I could cry and do teshuva for times where my subjective childish urges plundered my life force into the forces of darkness.
  23. Thank you for confusing messages from friends so that I can see my own broken record coping mechanisms and their false images and make different choices knowing the images are false although feeling real.
  24. Thank you for ridiculous news stories that tout not only that diets don’t work but eat whatever you want so that you don’t feel deprived and overeat so that I realize how clearly we are falling into the hands of the logic of our animal soul, and thereby for the opportunity to beg Hashem for geula before our soul is totally cast to physicality and tuma.
  25. Thank you for insults that help me realize that the stronger the insult and humiliation, the more life force is hidden there to be reconnected to Your service.
  26. Thank you for eyes that work even though cataracts are starting.
  27. Thank you for my thumb finally not hurting all the time.
  28. Thank you for the people in whom I see my faults so that I can more easily understand myself and grow.
  29. Thank you for showing me that once I unify my soul, the pain of the images of the yetzer hara cannot even be remembered – all that is left is a greater sense of being cuddled in Your arms
  30. Thank you for a brain that, even though it is a bad neighborhood, the honor You bestow upon us with life gives it logic and education that helps improve the inner climate a great deal.
  31. Thank you for fingers to type
  32. Thank you for every penny.
  33. Thank you for every atom of my body that is working and pain free.
  34. Thank you for my car, gas, and knowing where the keys are.
  35. Thank you for helping me see how my mistakes impact others so that I can stop.
  36. Thank you for helping me stop and do teshuva on these mistakes
  37. Thank you for please forgiving me and turning all my mistakes into mitzvahs, I hope.
  38. Thank you for seeing I am sincere and am coming to be purified, may my sincerity and request be pleasing to You.
  39. Thank you breath
  40. Thank you for grandchildren
  41. Thank you for sons and daughters in law
  42. Thank you for my husband
  43. Thank you for regular climate
  44. Thank you for being able to give charity
  45. Thank you for being able to help my family
  46. Thank you for helping me see that other’s opinions of me are none of my business but rather a function of their coping mechanisms and challenges with the yetzer hara’s images
  47. Thank you for calorie free natural drinks like herbal tea and bai five
  48. Thank you for scissors to cut nails.
  49. Thank you for light bulbs
  50. Thank you for protection from the elements
  51. Thank you for not giving up on me
  52. Thank you for giving motivation to grow
  53. Thank you for helping me see through my deceiver so that I can take apart the obstructions that prevent me from reflecting You in this world
  54. Thank you for the great Torah scholars who I read in English and whose thinking is with me in the moment
  55. Thank you for protecting me even though I have many obstructions that might frustrate You.
  56. Thank you for helping me understand why when I fail my test I get a potch, that the yetzer hara’s purpose is frustrated and life force falls to the wrong side that I alone had the free wil choice to bring to kadosh and failed.
  57. Thank you for more chances to rectify.
  58. Thank you for life itself
  59. Thank you for hearing my cry today
  60. Thank you for answering me with clarity and calm
  61. Thank you for the delicious salmon wrap
  62. Thank you for indoor plumbing
  63. Thank you for toilet paper
  64. Thank you for pillows
  65. Thank you for healing herbs and spices
  66. Thank you for quiet and space.
  67. Thank you for the opportunity to do mitzvahs
  68. Thank you for the symphony of shiurim that discuss a concept in different ways so that together, an orchestra of Torah helps arouse love for Hashem.
  69. Thank you for wanting to have a relationship with me
  70. Thank you for giving me a chance to give You nachas
  71. Thank you for prayer books to cling to.
  72. Thank you for helping me see mortality and realizing that lifetimes end and that time is valuable.
  73. Thank you for listening to my struggles and teshuva and letting me know that I am heard and forgiven.
  74. Thank you for being present in my heart
  75. Thank you for being more present In my heart.
  76. Thank you for good dreams
  77. Thank you for an understanding of how complete faith brings Simcha.
  78. Thank you for helping me realize that I am not alone.
  79. Thank you for helping me realize that I matter to You.
  80. Thank you for reminding me that taking care of my health is my responsibility.
  81. Thank you for helping me open the steam valve on judgments so that I can be more like You
  82. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to see how pervasive jealousy, desire and honor are right from the beginning of our lives, babies wanting the same toy, wanting to be held and favored
  83. Thank you for helping me accept rather than judge and condemn that jealous or desirous or honor seeking condition so that the work of bringing that koach into Your Service is more and more clear.
  84. Thank you for giving me enough motivation and awareness so that I do not fall totally into physicality.
  85. Thank you for joyful moments
  86. Thank you for enlightened moments
  87. Thank you for insightful moments
  88. Thank you for grateful moments
  89. Thank you for meaningful moments where the work of removing obstructions either solid, liquid, gas or radioactive elements then reflects Your compassion and creativity into the world, may Your Glory be seen by all
  90. Thank you for nourishment
  91. Thank you for blood that runs through us.
  92. Thank you for a working heart and lungs
  93. Thank you for vital organs
  94. Thank you for working limbs
  95. Thank you for the five senses
  96. Thank you for surrounding me with everything I need
  97. Thank you for relief from much of where I was damaged
  98. Thank you for the shame of realizing all my mistakes and confessing and regretting my mistakes, may I learn from them and only give You nachas
  99. Thank you for helping me despite myself.
  100. Thank you for the promise of Moshiach may we be zocheh to see Him speedily

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