Complete faith brings us to shelamos, to peace, inner peace, joy, and is the emunah that determines our madrega in this world and the next. It is something to strive for every moment of every day.
How can we have complete faith in Hashem when by design He has given us free will which means we have built in doubts so that we can make a choice?
How can we use the free will that Hashem has given us to remove doubts that He has placed there for the purpose of giving us choice?
Hashem is constantly breathing into us our soul and uttering into us our life force, which means forming our body and our circumstances for the day. He breathes into us a holiness that is made in His Image and He designs our physical being and material reality, in which creations His Lovingkindness exists but may be very covered over to our perceptions.
The area of questioning, the area we have doubts that hold us back from complete faith and the joy and integrated awareness of Hashem’s lovingkindness, is the world of adversity that we see and experience because of having a physical body and a material reality.
Material reality stirs the perceptions of the physical body. The physical body is composed by unrectified elements of the earth over which Hashem has given man dominion, through our choice in how to utilize the amazing power of free will.
Now lets go deeper. How did Hashem form a being with a holy neshama that knows at all times that all there is in the world is Hashem who fills all the world with His compassion and tie it to a physical body that is limited, blind to that reality and built to have real free will to follow after our eyes and hearts and believe in our faulty but sensory-experienced perceptions? Our holy soul is fused to our physical reality for the lifespan Hashem sets for us, not one minute more or less. When the time comes for the melech hamavos to take a life, it is said that it is as easy as taking a hair out of milk.
How exactly can we make the proper use of our lives and grow to have complete faith in Hashem?
Our physical body has a brain that is constantly scanning to see if it is safe. If we perceive something dangerous, our survival instincts are triggered and we take an appropriate action.
What Torah teaches us is that our thinking about our safety naturally overlooks that our survival depends on Hashem alone. Yes, we are mortal. Yes we have real ends that have hurdles to navigate in our efforts to stay alive. But to where do we look and trust at every moment for our salvation? Do we understand deeply that Hashem is all loving and all present and thinking up every moment of our lives, and if so, at what percent are we in that faith?
Why does our thinking about our safety naturally overlook Hashem? Why is it “blind” to the Source of all life and Simcha and lovingkindness, why does it not experience Hashem as all loving and all present?
This is how Hashem has given us free will. If we naturally felt the joy of His Presence and were born with complete faith, we would not have the ability to choose to have complete faith and create by our effortful choices our eternal identity and joy.
Thus Hashem builds an unconscious mind that desires not just to be like Hashem but yearns to be Hashem even though it cannot. This is the flaw we learn from the reasoning the nachash (snake) used to tempt Chava to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Chava, who had total awareness of Hashem’s lovingkind presence, overlooked that truth because the nachash told her if she eats she will be a creator like Hashem, forming worlds. The yearning that is within us to be like Hashem is the imperfection to which Adom and Chava could have applied their power to choose to love Hashem (a choice to love Hashem and our ability to do so is a built in way of activating the lovingkindness of Hashem hidden by our physical body yet His Compassion fills it) Who is all love and follow His Will, not to eat, with complete faith. Had they done so (chosen to love Hashem and with that moment of unifying with Hashem’s attribute of lovingkindess, thereby activating the compassion with which Hashem fills our physical existence), the discomfort of overcoming that moment of wanting to be Creators and whatever existential pain they felt would have turned into a tremendous joy and Simcha and unity as the world would have shifted to Utopia and its completion.
Sit with that moment. When we have a certain unfulfilled yearning or an incredible desire to take an action, do we have the complete faith to rely on what Hashem tells us as His Will? Are we aware of Hashem’s love surrounding and filling everything, including every sensation?
How committed are we to doing only what Hashem’s Will according to Torah-true opinions?
What is stopping us?
Often we are trying to preserve something we do not want to lose, attain something we feel we must have for our survival, or maintain an image or position that we believe is who we are. This is our natural thinking and our coping mechanisms and often our educated lifestyles.
Are we willing to consider that when we move forward without first finding out what the Torah has to say about our situation that we might be missing the purpose for which the challenge is there? Again, that challenge is to develop ourselves in complete faith in order to live with the Simcha that Hashem has designed for those that remember to love Him and that He Alone is designing our lives.
We slip over considering bringing faith into the moment like we slip on black ice, in a millisecond. Once we are on the ground, the ground is all we see, and we are trying to get up again.
Our soul has two inborn lacks – we want to be Hashem and can never be, and we want awareness of Hashem’s constant love along with the experience of happiness that we long for and lost when we were thrust to earth after having eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. We are on the ground and trying to get up.
These two lacks parent the fears and angers that we experience here on the ground.
Let us learn to ask ourselves- is what I am thinking coming from a desire for value or honor or a desire to experience a feeling of love that is lacking?
An honest answer to this quick test can prevent us from following all the thinking that we naturally have. Stop, take a breath, and tell Hashem that we do not want to go further into the dark. Tell Hashem I love You Hashem and am so grateful! I wish to follow a kadosh Design, not a design from the powers of impurity, the koach of tuma. We may not feel this as true at first but we keep breathing and asking, telling Hashem we want only Hashem and to be with Him. Ask Him to please help.
When you feel the calm come over you, take a moment and memorize the before and after. Such experiences increase our faith because we see we have real free will to ask Hashem to bring the part of our holy soul that is stuck in the black ice of our unconscious mind back to the side of serving Him, to the side of kedusha. He moves our soul. We use free will with love for Hashem to sincerely ask. This is what develops faith and emunah.
Now for the circumstances. Hashem is in charge of that too. But from this improved mentality, we are able to take actions with Torah and Hashem’s Will as their root. Hashem will help with that too, way beyond whatever we might otherwise have thought we had to do before.
Love and value are oxygen we can give to others too. Remember, everyone is walking around with these two existential yearnings and slipping on the black ice of their unconscious. When we give others love and value, we momentarily relieve them. All of us though need to relieve ourselves of this struggle by turning to Hashem and finding His Love and realizing that when we connect our lives to His Value we have real love and meaning.
Real happiness comes from understanding where we slip on the black ice and turn immediately to Hashem for rescue so we do not fall. From there, we can walk with Hashem in our hearts. And thank Him for every moment of life, an opportunity to grow in faith and joy.
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