The compelling firey emotions that roar through our blood in an unconscious microsecond reveal a tremendous and high energy source seemingly within us. This experience is one of nefesh behema, our animal soul, whose source comes from a place even higher than the source of our nefesh elokis, our Divine soul that is breathed into us. (see Rabbi Moshe Weinberger on Parshas Noach http://beyondanydoubts.com/2017/10/22/rabbi-moshe-weinberger-on-parshas-noach-and-on-yichudshabbos/)
Imagine that – some energy from on high is involved in our life, in our heart and in our blood, but it is not, in and of itself, who we are because it is external to our Divine eternal soul. That means, after 120 years, unless we do the work of unifying that energy with the Divine soul, whatever identity we thought was ours simply will no longer be. We are all going to a place of dust. What, then, is all that commotion, wind, pain and confusion for?
With a spark and a strong wind across dry land, raging fires destroy land and homes. When fire is under control, it gives us warmth and light. What controls fire? Water. Water is analogous to the wisdom of the Torah.
Our Divine soul receives a spark of wisdom and then our imagination builds upon it. Are we going to keep the Torah in mind, controlling our imagination or is our imagination going to go on fire?
We know our imagination is on fire every time we are ready to bulldoze a situation thinking we know what is best to do and we have to do so whatever it takes, whoever we have to level in order to make “what is right” happen. The mistake is forgetting that we have a primary career that supersedes each step.
Our primary career is to draw that energy through the vessel of mind and back to heart tempered with Torah and Hashem’s attributes of mercy. Our primary career is to remember Hashem, that He is all that exists and is the only Power. Our primary career is to submit to that reality and think before every step to make sure we are honoring Hashem and not taking our life force and bringing it into low impure places.
We don’t see it that way in the moment. Instead we feel pretty helpless when our emotions are raging and our judgments choosing a path that we feel is just and right. All we want is to make it come out properly, so that the matter will no longer feel like a danger or a problem.
We can think of a bunch of solutions and approaches. We can consider the cost of taking each step. But until we consider prayer, we have neglected the only option that CAN help, not only because Hashem creates success but because when we connect to Hashem, we can get insight beyond our logical thinking. We can expand our choices. And those expanded choices may feel much more like who we really would be proud to be. Then you know you are acting from your real self, your divine soul, the part that is at all times connected to Hashem and yearning to express Ahavas Hashem. We have found the path that will give voice and expression to the part of us that is built to reflect Hashem’s light into this world.
So how many times today did you pause and consider Hashem’s Torah and attributes of mercy before you took any action, from a bracha, to a chesed, to a relationship?
We are but a membrane here temporarily. We can unify our soul and use the physicality we have for 120 years according to our free will.
What do you choose?
If you like, try to increase the number of times you think about Hashem today. Then increase it tomorrow, and more the next day , and the next. When you see that your day is filled with menucha and Simcha and that you no longer wish to act in any way that might disconnect from Hashem, perhaps our hearts will be well on the path of the just.
And may we see a new light speedily in the world.