In this amazing translation, we hear the role that we can play in returning all of the hidden sparks of tohu from their concealed location to the Creator, unifying His Name and bringing “new” energy into revelation, energy hidden in the shells of existence. The goal is to realize we are not to be subjugated to the compelling emotions and self-consciousness that existence naturally triggers within us, but rather to elevate it all “mesiras nefesh” to Hashem so that we may have a revealed world. Let us make ourselves the vessels to receive and organize the light that can come into this world rather than the vehicles of damage we might fall victim into becoming if we circulate around sel-conciousness and may our efforts be a merit for Klal Yisrael, including anyone who is considered “kidnapped” or too ill to do this typoe of work, that we may soon merit redemption b’ahava with the coming of Moshiach.
There is a wind, a ruach, that blows gently through our mind at all times. It carries with it subtle messages not only from the subconscious mind but from the unconscious mind.
Entangled in this ruach is the confusion from having eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Before we ate, the wind that blew through the mind was pure. It carried messages of connection to truth. Messages of disconnection were external and therefore easily identifiable as not true happiness. Nevertheless, there was an opening in the desire to serve Hashem for our own honor, to show Hashem how much we love Him by flexing this inclination as if it itself is our identity, which caused something to happen – the purity of mind that Adom had became confused more and more with connection to disconnected pleasures, seemingly to prove how much we love Hashem by using the gifts He gives us to overcome the enhancements to existential reality that seek to subjugate us.
In essence, the entire avoda of Adom could have been to resist that seeming pleasure, thereby elevating the nature built in to Adom.
Instead, the confusion of mind became thicker and more complicated, to the point where our vision of who we are often is transferred to our existential reality rather than to the absolute truth of ein od Milvado. When we can see our lives from a Torah perspective, our avoda, our service of Hashem in the moment, changes. It is no longer about the events in our lives that stimulate our upset feelings and trigger darkness within us. It is about appreciating the opportunity to reconnect our wind, our ruach, that is attached to the thickness of concealment and existential reality back to Hashem. We do this when we disclaim interest in the outcomes that the acts of reacting from negativity would bring to us. Is this true happiness? Is this the happiness Hashem desires for us?
There is a deep simcha that can be experienced when we are not subjugated to the enhancements in existential reality. These enhancements may include honor, respect, pleasure, safety and more. When we have the image of ourselves that Hashem desires for us, the task of Avodas Hashem changes.
What is that image of ourselves that Hashem desires for us?
Imagine a baseball player at the plate with a bat. The ball comes and he swings. The ball, the bat, the body of the player including his finely tuned muscles are all connected to Hashem, ein od Milvado. He has no free will over any of it. It is totally and ultimately Hashem who has all the power in all these things. The uniqueness of the ruach in this scenario is its choice to swing. Not the swing itself. Its free willed choice to swing as separate from the swing itself is what we are focusing on.
In the deepest part of us, we have a platform from which to pray to Hashem in this way. We confess our subjugation to the winds of negativity that flow through our mind and declare that we do not want any part of its outcomes and do not wish whatever temptations or seemingly self-conscious happiness it has to offer. Instead we bow our hearts with deep simcha understanding that there is part of our soul that is covered over with impurities exhibiting themselves as anger, fear, heaviness, pain, lack and more and we make the choice to return all of the spiritual energies to the Creator so that the energy can be purified and returned to our hearts in a pure way that we can reflect Hashem into our actions and speech. Upon praying sincerely in this manner, a calm inside is restored and a joyous connection is felt. THIS is how we serve Hashem every moment and unify our soul, building achdus (oneness) with Hashem. Each time we do this, we make a repair, may it be a merit for klal Yisrael.
How do we calm ourselves in order to actually sincerely do this avoda when the circumstances seem so full of loss and dread?
We arouse love and awe for Hashem. To do this repair, this tikkun, we use our mind to enclothe the pain and negative presentation in love and awe and we place our full compassion upon it. Like a magnet, the ruach can then connect through that love and awe to Hashem and the negativity can dissolve and reattach to become healthy too.
It takes a great deal of emunah. But if we understand this as true, we can build to infinity upon it, growing more and more in the manner in which Hashem desires for us to serve Him
May we all attempt to shift our definitions of who we are so that we can rectify the damage of having eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and then reach further, to really connect our very inclination itself in a rectified and emunadik and trusting way to truth, to Hashem, to Torah, and may we be zocheh to Moshiach immediately for just yearning to do this.
What if we could understand and change something that would help us avoid anxiety?
If attaining a certain understanding of life and who we are could help us alleviate anxiety, would we pursue that understanding?
What if part of that understanding requires us to move our natural self-consciousness to belief in the Creator and to understand ourselves from His Design?
Would we dismiss it?
Why are we interested in holding onto ideas that bring us to anxiety and pain? What are they offering us? And what do we require from those who love us when we clutch suffering that we don’t even really want?
It seems quite entangled. And it is. But if we could really come to inner peace, and thereby establish real peace and freedom in the world, would we choose it? Even if it meant a long process of discovery and re-building?
What if reforming ourselves did not really require us to be someone else though? What if reforming ourselves was more like sifting out the pebbles from something pure within us? Would that seem more approachable?
“It isn’t me though, I am not religious” or “That is not what I do, it just isn’t what I want.” These types of statements might not really be true when we look at what staying the same offers in terms of anxiety and confusion and comparing that to who we could become, preserving our spirit but becoming attached and capable of balancing our triggerpoints so that we remain positive and calm.
Lots of people do not see how giving up what we believe is right or just can possibly then permit them to be who they are.
It is only when we get a glimpse of a truer reality that we can begin exchanging our false beliefs for truer ones that bring us into a flow of calm and clarity, with the meaning and purpose for which the Creator makes us.
That truer reality is the journey of understanding that everything is an emanation from the Creator that He alone is the sole power over. The only area we really have in terms of free will is our choice to believe that and begin the journey to serve Him.
Many people look at the restrictions that Torah and observance seem to put on the person, but in truth, real freedom comes from accepting upon oneself a life of Torah values on a growing number of levels. When each person lives truly as the Torah instructs, people do not have to fear one another or anything, for it is the Creator Who determines the outcome of every act taken. The more we trust in the Creator and live moment by moment returning to Him any energy that tugs at us to deviate from Torah and His Compassion, the less anxiety and guilt and blame and shame dwell within us. Instead we have a way to return such suffering to its Creator, the One Who sent the trigger, so that we can build eternity from our choice to do so.
This world is a corridor Free will to have awe in this way is limited to our lifetime. Investing ourselves in the pursuit of returning to the Creator our pain and suffering is worth the effort.
Torah is life itself. Why not involve ourselves in life rather than suffering in the traps and pitfalls that existence is built with?
If you are reading this and think it has merit, perhaps this could be the start of a spiritual journey for you. If you are reading this and dismiss it, what are you choosing? Write it down – I choose……because …….. and say it out loud with emotion until you hear that it might not be true. Until you see that there might be something more true. Now do you understand?
We are entering a time period that is designed especially for seeking in our deepest thoughts and beliefs a new source for happiness. Culminating with the holiday of Tisha b’Av, the next 9 weeks are an opportunity to really stay close to the truest reality and keep ourselves from falling into the hands of our natural ways.