anyone inspired by this can begin their journey with Rabbi Nivin www.newchabura.com
The goal is to reach a place where I feel no sinas chinam, namely I do not react based on the tugging of taiva, kina or kavod.
My lower soul’s inherent weaknesses become attack points through which the yetzer hara’s constant striving to whisper desire, lack, anger, fear and honor messages resonate. The lower soul’s clinging to these whisperings permits the yetzer hara, who stands at the gateway of our mind where we receive perceptions, means that our soul is passed first to the yetzer hara for its destructive purposes and not necessarily with our full permission. I must fortify my thinking and awareness with how Hashem has created us, emunah bitachon, and love for Hashem in order to create platform to watch how my vulnerable points are so susceptible so that I can gain more free will and choice to speak lovingly to the lower soul words of compassion awareness, encouragement, emunah and bitachon to serve Hashem instead by engaging it in active dialogue asking how it benefits from the (describe the paralysis or pain or low place I feel) It’s choice is over the top, not worth it.
We can love our vulnerable parts AND guard it from the temptation we are prone to by recognizing hw the exile is designed and NOT falling for it and stomping instead on the head of the snake as we run into Hashem’s arms with love through the commandments love Hashem and fear Hashem and guard your soul which open channels to bring light into the darkness of our hearts where we are otherwise exiled. This is the task. To find the place where there is darkness and open a channel through the intention of the commandments love and fear Hashem so that His Compassion may shine in and unify our re-strengthened soul in service of Hashem.
- To fortify my heart by lovingly pointing out the futility of clinging to yetzer hara where I am now vulnerable( due to suffering abuse that gives me the message that I am bad even for normal yearnings) to the pulls of the reward or being right that the yetzer hara gives me as a payoff for pursuing honor with negative charges, and
- To do teshuva on the sinas chinam these negative charges create and realize that no one but Hashem is causing the negative charge. The sole purpose o the negative charge is to empower me to ask Hashem to bring His Light into that exile, to separate my soul from the temptations. “Hashem I feel the exile so thoroughly because this darkness in my heart is full of charges and perceived rewards that I am experiencing because I project incidents and patterns from my life onto the situation at hand, associating the current situation as the cause of my pain rather than realizing the opportunity to rectify my characteristics. It is an exile for me because the whispering for taiva kina and kavod are well entrenched and I feel the pain of the galus so much. I beseech You to please shine compassion on this place in me that I am exiled so that I may serve You with all my heart and all my soul, and all my might and not stumble over triggers that wish to divert my desire to serve You to follow the whisperings for taiva kina and kavod that keep me trapped in the galus/kelipa and thereby spill my soul further into exile and deepen the darkness. Instead please help me resolve to accept the task You have given me, to transform the negative charge into real light through this act of prayer and the intention to love Hashem and to do the mitzvah of do not hate or bear a grudge. Through these mitzvahs, please open a healing channel and help me break open the kelipa and bring my soul strengthened to Your service.