Our instincts are the part of our mind that our soul is intended to encounter in order to bring compassion into the world. As important as instincts are to survival, they inevitably become tainted with false beliefs because they are affected experientially through the world we see and touch, and we develop biased ideas about cause and effect.
There is only One Source for everything. He is the primary cause for everything. Torah teaches us that there is free will only in whether we have awe in Hashem, that we understand that He is the only being that exists and that everything is interwoven to that truth and that we have zero control over success or outcome.
Thus our neshama is given to us to encounter what gets mixed into our survival instincts so that our survival instincts can instead be clinging only to the truth, that Hashem alone decides who lives or not, along with determining who gets which of the qualities that we feel as life enhancing in this world. True happiness stems from associating with Hashem and when we have that emunah, and declare that He is King and that we yearn only to express into this world Torah and His Compassion, then whatever He sends we trust as ultimately good. This in the moment means that we interact with the darkness and the choices inside of us by constantly seeking true wellbeing, love and closeness to others, real self-respect, expanded consciousness, holiness and avoiding lowliness, self-hating actions, and things that distance ourselves from others such as deception, harshness, dominating activities, exploitation, oppression and the like out of confusion that WE must take for ourselves what we feel we need.
By actualizing our neshama into our confusion of mind when our imagination is drawn towards the imprints on our instincts that we have learned from having developed in time and space, we return to Its Source the animating force of the distortion. This is the moment to moment encounter that is ours to repair. It unifies Hashem’s “male” and “female” energies that He puts into the world through our free willed choice to crown Him King and emulate Him and fulfill His Torah commandments.
Making ourselves familiar with our personalities and how Hashem “taught” us the things that are false within our instincts empowers us to not identify with the downward pulls and to instead identify with the opportunity to return it all to Its Source and draw compassion into us through a new neuropathway that will now be attached directly to Torah and compassion, without the first learned causes and effects confusing us…we will understand and be able to exercise real free will when these reactions come up.
Emunah is the key. It takes time, like any muscle to build. We are here to breathe light into the dark. We need emunah and self understanding to do this work. We are souls, beings of light, who see a solid body and get confused and think we are the mortal limited existence of the body, when in fact we are our effort to encounter the elements imprinted on our instincts and uplift nature entirely.
May our effort to do so out of love for Hashem and a desire that He be revealed in this world b’ahava give Hashem nachas and see that our emunah and bitachon is strong and that, like Rachel Imeinu and her descendant Queen Esther, we are willing to give up what feels to us like everything knowing that He is One.