From my heart with gratitude for the critical life saving surgery – survival is from Hashem alone

 

Hashem created the Torah 974 generations before the world was created, then twenty-six generations [passed] from the creation of the world until Moshe, the leader of the prophets, through whom the Torah was given.

 

The 974 generations were worlds of din that Hashem knew would self destruct and be brought into another world where they would be resurrected through tikun.  They self destructed because the souls came into the world thinking that they had autonomous independent existence and needed to exist.  Needing to exist is the offense of disobeying Hashem Who insists that He is the King and only existence and the worlds merited annihilation.

 

This world came into existence and 26 generations from Adom to Moshe lived before the Torah was given.  26 is the number that represents middos Harachamim, tikun, repair.  In a world with tikun, there is a time delay.  The punishment is not immediate annihilation.  We have a chance to do teshuva, where we are no longer linked to the sin so the punishment is not necessary because we have used our free will to make a sincere different choice.  And we uproot the desire which uproots the act and achieve atonement.

 

The subjectivity of thinking we have autonomous independent existence is a violation that tells us there are 2 not 1.

 

Believing that it is necessary for us to exist gives us a false premise to rationalize why it might be ok to make a decision leaning toward our subjective reality rather than the fulfillment of hashem’s will.  Believing we are necessary makes us vulnerable to pleasure and lusts and the desire to direct kindnesses to our lives – we feel we are deserving of the pleasures and feel our good.  If it is necessary for us to exist, that is a survival message and anything that triggers our survival message in this way, be it a lack of something that appears to us to be important for our survival, brings us to disregard the Will of Hashem, which is that we bring His Mercy into this world.

 

We have real free will to comprehend that we are not here alone despite the paradox of appearing as though we have autonomy and independent existence, within the world we see.  It is incumbent upon us to sacrifice this falsehood understanding that by sacrificing belief in our autonomy and necessity, we realign with the truth of Hashem’s Oneness and total control and that He is the only living existence there is, despite the apparent paradox in the way the world we see appears.

 

Understanding our own thinking in this regard can then help us to surmount the emotional winds of our negative downward pulls – survival is in Hashem’s Hands alone and He wants us to cry out to Him.  To remove the veil of the paradox and uncover our emunah and strengthen emunah, to have awe in how Hashem creates this world giving us a role to play in repairing and unifying everything back to its Source.

 

May our individual survival instincts be calmed with the recognition that uprooting self-centeredness in the form of directing chesed to our individual subjective pleasures ( i.e. lusts, desires, gratifications).  May we cry out to Hashem with love in our heart for the opportunity to partner with Him by recognizing His Oneness and creating repair, apprecating the gift of life in a world where there is rachamim, time to do teshuva and uproot our faults and mistakes made from worlds that existed for 974 years before this world ever existed, and may that understanding empower us to see our identity as effort to serve Hashem and not as the circumstances or characteristics that we see.  May we express our gratitude to Hashem for His love and mercy at every moment and praise His Name in full words and tears for the pleasure of living, for only in a body are we given this opportunity to effect repair and create eternal life.