Rabbi Ephraim Lever on Shemini on TorahAnytime is a must listen
What is invisible to us, from our subconscious, is the area that we are empowered to take ownership that our ego prefers instead to blame others, reacting from instincts to survive as if our survival is something our blaming or shaming can ensure.
This is an inherent falsehood that blinds us to the real work of being alive, which is to mature spiritually to the point where we are using free will to relate with Hashem knowing He is in charge of our survival and No other because THERE IS NO OTHER BEING THAT ACTUALLY EXISTS OTHER THAN HASHEM.
We are given real free will to believe our instincts that we are responsible for our survival. The awe of Hashem that we have is to see how He created us, as babies whose survival does depend on imperfect people and on learning the rules of life from them to receive the fulfillment of our dependency needs. Our immature minds create imaginative coping mechanisms that form our instinctive mind and we have this throughout our life.
Rabbi Lever explains this all the way back to the eating of the fruit and the blaming Adom said of eve and eve of the snake
If we believe that blaming and shaming will secure our dependency needs if we are just ferocious enough, we do not understand that this causes damage and is not taking responsibility for where we are falling into the dark ourselves, thinking that somehow we are fighting for our very lives.
We are here to choose.
Is our survival from asking Hashem to help us survive and rescue us from our painful negative charges and suffering? Or is our survival in our own hands to create a bigger impact on those we view as threats?
Please listen to the shiur. All those who believe that all there is in the world is Hashem, strengthen emunah to bring us a way to withstand our negative charges. Just like we learned to float on water and then to swim in the ocean, so too can emunah be the material that strengthens our surfboard of clarity in the moment to withstand the pulls of survival, of lack of honor, of lack of pleasure or feelings of jealousy that are designed to whisk us out of connection to Hashem. Cling tight! Choose it. For if we follow the apparent strength and power of ferocity, we have abdicated responsibility for the damage we bring and have followed something that is not true, which is confusion on where our survival comes from.