Our unconscious mind comes from the creation of the world, programmed with primordial matter from a fallen world that had such a strong subjectivity that judgment upon it caused its destruction and shattering. Key understanding is that Hashem is the only Existence so to the degree there is subjective existence that believes it is autonomous, that is a degree of idolatry. The seven kings of the world of subjective autonomy have connections in the spiritual dna of matter, chesed gevurah tiferes netzach hod yesod and malchus, and all that is free from their influence is the integrity of the Gd given gift of free will. We can and must choose where to associate our identity – with the subjective autonomy that feels compelling buried in our unconscious or with emunah clinging to the Torah’s teaching that we are made in the image of Hashem’s attributes of mercy.
This world of tikun is made with mercy and forgiveness, and that is inherent in the seed of chochma through which our lives are made possible. It is up to us to connect and cling our imagination that naturally would run after the unconscious leanings towards subjective autonomous independent existence to middos harachamim for the sole purpose of becoming a vessel through which speech and deeds that reflect Hashem’s mercy can come into this world. Although it takes every drop of our free willed choice, for we can’t do both at the same time, the understanding that all we are really doing is permitting the light of Hashem to merge – remember He is all that truly exists – and THAT forms our true identity.. our choice to submit what feels like our existence BECOMES our eternal existence because it means what we have compassion upon Hashem, that we are emulating Him, out of trust in Torah and commitment to the process of yud k vav k that Torah teaches us. In so doing, we develop a totally different relationship with the negativity that sprouts up in our hearts, seeing it only as opportunities to demonstrate Hashem’s midda of compassion towards Hashem Himself so that we can assemble the lights from within into One.
Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad
Baruch Shem Kavod malchuso Leolam Voed
May we open our eyes to what we are, to Who Hashem is and what He has instructed us to do, and identify with His Will and definition of the purpose of creation.
The reality is that when we slip up, which is constant, we are self-sabotaging and possibly sinning in worshipping idols, for we are made in Hashem’s image and conducting ourselves according to nature without that crucial center in a way mocks the essential goodness of everything in this world. That leitzonos grows thick within us because time and space offer a perceivable tangible reward for putting our survival instincts in the center instead of Hashem’s will. Nevertheless, we can pierce this thickness and permeate our being with something holy. Our effort to do so brings light and corrects our middos. We choose. We need to see that we can have a different relationship with our negativity than what it seems we are facing in a world of adversity. Instead, we need to see the opportunity to remove the coverings of subjectivity intwined with our middos so that the primordial matter of creation reveals Hashem instead of the cause of their breaking apart and falling into this world, belief so strong in their autonomous independent existence that they were destroyed with din and brought into this world of tikun for US to choose to emulate rachamim from Hashem and rectify it all. May we accept this new relationship with our negativity as emes and begin to reveal light by making porous our sense of autonomous independent existence and crowning Hashem King with our compassion instead.