How old are we? What baggage might we have that is as old or almost as old that we might like to bring into avodas Hashem instead of blocking us?

No one is immune from having old tapes developed childhood with immature understandings from interfering with our present moment. That is the human experience.


We are responsible to make an effort to keep our speech and deeds reflecting Hashem’s love and good that He is sending at every moment.


We must understand what our inner tornadoes, hurricanes, cloudy days and rainy days look like. Sometimes our inner tornadoes look like positive actions we must take in order to bring something good into the world. Without meaning to, we do something destructive. All parents understand this. And having been children, we all understand where our scars and programming that is damaged developed. We may not understand how to undue it, but we understand because we have the false belief that if we blame, we can restore the happiness we desire instead of experiencing the bitterness.


Bitterness means that our soul is not experiencing the joy of connecting to the good Hashem is sending this moment. How can we pierce our tornadoes, hurricanes, clouds, rainy days and more to reach upward to see that the sun is shining upon us and that Hashem’s love for us is real, in this moment, and immense?


We have free will with which to define who we are. When we understand that our esteem is the effort we make to do battle with what blocks us from experiencing connection to Hashem in order that we have more ability to reflect love and value into the world, we are empowered in a way that is far beyond just strategizing to work within the constrainst of any situation for what our goals are.


Our goal is to rise in our ability to contain the love and value Hashem is sending to us so that we, like the moon, can reflect it into the world. In order to contain the love and value Hashem is sending, we need a certain strength that can only be gotten from doing battle with the blocks! Why? The structure of the blocks, ego, human emotion, bodily responses, are the physical vessel through which we hope to reveal Hashem’s love and value. Thus, we need for tzelem elokim to erupt into the neurocircuitry that triggers our amazing existence.


During the three weeks, and now the nine days, we intensify our mourning, no meat, no showers, no swimming and more – by restricting, we inflict a suffering upon ourselves in the area of desires. Where does happiness come from? Happiness is the experience of revealing the love and value from Hashem into the world. The goal of our restrictions is to touch that place, thereby helping us internalize something that even when Shlomo’s Temple stood we did not fully internalize – pleasure in revealing Hashem’s love and value IS the real pleasure.

The yetzer hara has a goal of telling us that pleasure is the fulfillment of our dependency needs, of receiving love and value from people, of having material comfort and that our energy had best be spent securing these needs. The yetzer hara is even willing to let us learn Torah. But when it comes to really seeing that our happiness comes from revealing the love and value Hashem bestows upon us, the yetzer hara puts a Grand Canyon of logic and disconnection before us, so much so that we cannot see at all how it is relevant in attaining our goals. We do battle at this time with the immense coverings of body, unconscious, and subconscious that form the belief that “I” have autonomous indendent existence.


There is not one atom or force that is not under the direct control of Hashem, and that includes our soul, our body, and the force that permits us to have free will. If we did not have a Torah, we would not realize what our role is. But we DO have Torah. And it is incumbent upon us to take every opportunity to emulate Hashem and reveal His Attributes of Mercy into time and space by helping our tzelem elokim triumph over the coverings over it and erupting the values of tzelem elokim into consciousness that brings it to heart and action.

Women are invited to join us in our teshuva for the three weeks, to free energy trapped in lower levels of thought and emotion so that we can create an arousal from below to draw rav chesed from Hashem and then reflect that into our lives.


Please click here to print the sheets we use in order to follow along with our guided teshuva

to hear what we are doing, please listen to the recorded calls.  It is probably a good idea to listen to the most recent ones. Where there is discussion the calls are longer but it is helpful to hear.

call in numbers 8 am and 10 PM Eastern for teshuva during the three weeks:

712 775 7085 code 171698
712 775 7089 playback code 171698

to be added to the distribution list for this guided teshuva which we are doing morning and night during the three weeks, please send an email to

One thought on “How old are we? What baggage might we have that is as old or almost as old that we might like to bring into avodas Hashem instead of blocking us?

  1. Pingback: Bracha Gemach - Teshuva that removes our nature so as to reveal His Glory - Nourishment for the Neshama

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